


My Kinda Guy

by aijouu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, American Football, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Boys In Love, Boys' Love, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, College, Coming of Age, Crossdressing, Dominant Erwin Smith, Drinking, Friendship/Love, Gay, High School, Homophobia, M/M, Minor Violence, Modeling, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, NEETwin, Possessive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Romance, Romantic Friendship, Smoking, Sports, Top Erwin Smith, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:01:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 97,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25488901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aijouu/pseuds/aijouu
Summary: Erwin and Levi have been best friends since the day Erwin gave him his juice box in the second grade. Erwin was hogging the water-fountain after recess one day, and in doing so, he was holding up the line. Levi was quick to tattle on him for being so selfish, and though they loathed each other at first, it seemed a box of fruit punch was capable of both of calming them down, and solidifying a friendship that would last for years to come. That was eleven years ago, and since then, things have changed between them. They survived middle school and high school together and managed to do so as they grew up side-by-side. For Erwin Smith, football was second nature, and to Levi Ackerman, Photography and all things beautiful grabbed his attention more than anything else. But, what happens when the two of them head to college? What happens when they really start aging up? What kind of secrets are revealed between the two of them and how do they feel about it? And will the two of them stay just friends, or is there something more?
Relationships: Levi & Erwin Smith, Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 115
Kudos: 161





	1. Boyfriend Material

"Drive safe, you hear? And call me as soon as you get there!" Erwin's mother, Louisa, yelled from the porch of their home as Erwin started the ignition of his car.

It wasn't the first day of school but, his mother was treating today like it was. There was a week left before school started and miraculously, both Erwin and Levi were accepted to the University of Maria, and now, as both Erwin and Levi buckled themselves into their seats, they waved Erwin's mother off as they pulled out of the driveway, drove down the street, and began their journey into a new phase of their lives. Only, they'd be back by nightfall. Though they'd seen pictures of campus online and taken numerous virtual tours, they wanted to see it for themselves and get a feel for the school they'd be working to earn their degrees in for the next four years and Levi was more, than excited.

He'd been accepted into a Photography major which was exactly what he wanted. He wanted to design magazine covers and take pictures of beautiful views and sceneries or maybe direct a movie considering he was minoring in Filmmaking. He'd always had an eye for things and he loved all things creative, artsy, and unique. There was something so alluring to him about a picture or image or artwork or color that could somehow speak words that he could understand. It was similar to a mystery, almost, and once it was solved it made more sense than it did initially. Why did an artist use a mix of red and yellow when they could've used orange? Was it so the separation of said colors could be easily divided and recognized? Why wasn't the blue sky, blue? Why wasn't it one homogeneous color? Why was there purple and pink in it? Why did a photographer capture their muse in the way that they did? What were they trying to convey? Why were they wearing what they were wearing? Why were they posed in the way that they were? It was a never-ending series of questions that had no clear right or wrong answer and Levi adored it all and it was never boring to him for even a second.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and the interpretation of said beauty could never be solidified into one, mutual thing.

Going to Maria to study Photography was one of Levi's biggest dreams but, it wasn't the only one. In fact, he had a list of things he wanted to achieve through his college career and though Erwin tormented him for being a bookworm, he wanted to do it anyways. He wanted to graduate Valedictorian, he wanted to be on the Dean's List, every year, he wanted to graduate Summa Cum Laude and most importantly, he wanted to be Student Body President.

And Erwin? He just wanted to score touchdowns.

When Levi submitted his early application to Maria, he didn't hear from them for a month. But Erwin's _late_ , application? They accepted him within the following week. Levi loathed the fact that just because someone would throw a ball and run real fast that life was already laid out for them so effortlessly, but, whenever he brought that fact up to Erwin, he didn't agree. The only reason Erwin got in was thanks to him. Erwin had nearly forgotten there was life after high school and so, he decided to go to whatever college Levi was heading to.

Erwin Smith was an All-American man. He did it all. Baseball, soccer, basketball, field hockey, and tens more, however, football was what he excelled in the most. It was a pleasure to have Erwin playing on any field and The University of Maria would do whatever they'd have to in order to keep him there. Additionally, the fact that he had a decent GPA in high school and wasn't an absolute knucklehead made his acceptance easier than it already was. Maria was an honorable school, and they wouldn't admit just any kid, but, what they didn't know was that the only reason he wasn't a total goofball was because of Levi.

But, Erwin got he wanted. He got to go to school with Levi and annoy him for the next four or odd years and while he caught a glimpse of Levi reaching to plug the aux into his phone, he interrupted him.

"So, are we not going to talk about what happened?" he asked, steadying his eyes back on the road as Levi looked at him.

"What is there to talk about?" Levi asked.

"You know, what happened in the treehouse, last week," he said, and instantaneously, Levi's cheeks warmed to a bright pink that spread out to his nose and the tips of his ears and he was quick to avert his eyes.

"There's nothing to talk about." he rushed, practically spitting the words out as now his hands struggled to plug his phone into the car as they shook.

"There's not? Are you su—?"

"There's _not_ ," Levi stressed, now very anxiously looking out of the window as Erwin laughed quietly to himself.

Erwin knew quite well what happened in the treehouse last week, as did Levi, and having been best friends for eleven years and suddenly then, doing something neither of them expected more than just weird. And the worst part was that had it not been for Louisa, they would've done something more than what they had, and Levi didn't want to think about it. The treehouse they spoke about held many memories. Many childhood memories, yes, but also their first time trying weed and getting high among other things. They did homework together up there, in the treehouse. Erwin wasn't terrible at everything and he'd always been better with Math and numbers and Levi was always better with words and English so, they helped one another. They slept up there, some nights when Erwin was too lazy to drive Levi home. They spent a lot of time up there, talking to each other, about everything, without fear of it ever leaving the now termite-infested walls of _their_ , treehouse. Erwin was his friend, his best friend, his brother, and to this day he couldn't figure out why he let what happened in the treehouse _happen_. He didn't like him like that, did he? He didn't want to date him or anything it was just the heat, it was the heat that day, and the heat of the moment. Besides, Erwin wasn't fit to be more than his friend, and Levi knew too much about him to like him as anything more than what they were. He's childish, and weird, and somehow is able to skip brushing his teeth and still have a perfect mouth with the exception of _God_ awful breath.

For those reasons alone, Levi didn't have a crush on him. No one, could have a crush on him because Erwin wasn't anyone's type and yet, Erwin didn't seem at all appalled at what happened last week, or even, conversing about the matter.

Did.. Erwin like it? Did Erwin like _him_?

As Levi's mind whirled and whizzed he couldn't help but start to gnaw on his fingernails. It was a bad habit but, he only did it when he was really, truly unsure about something.

Erwin couldn't like him, there was no way. He did drive him to school every day from the day he got his car, and ever since then, whenever Levi had to go somewhere, he always offered to take him without Levi having to ask. Whenever they went out, Erwin always paid. He paid for the popcorn at the movies and shoe rentals at the bowling alley and game tokens when they went to arcades and throughout it all, Levi never paid more than two bucks; and he always used it for something in a vending machine so Erwin couldn't stop him and pull out his wallet. They studied together and cheated together and ate together and laughed together and talked shit about people who they went to school with, together but, Erwin didn't like him, and even if he did, Levi would never let it happen. But, if that was the case, why didn't Erwin ever have a girlfriend? Levi went to high school with him, he knew how many women wanted and begged for a piece of his best friend but, why didn't Erwin ever pursue one of them? And more importantly, why didn't they talk about girls? Why didn't they talk about relationships? Why didn't they talk about sex, and adult videos and whatever else men their age talk about? They talked about everything but, why didn't they _talk_ and.. why was Levi's chest tightening the way it was now?

He'd seen the movies and read the books, whenever best friends fall in love, one of them fucks up and however many years of that friendship was whisked down a drain and it never returns. There is no happily ever after when best friends date, and if there was, they're never as close as they once were and overall, it's just better and less of a risk if best friends _stay_ friends.

Besides, they're both men and.. Erwin wasn't gay, right?

The only gay man Levi knew was himself, and though he never technically came out to Erwin and had a conversation about it, they both knew. Was.. that the case for Erwin? No, it couldn't be. He's too much of an oaf. He plays football and guzzles Bud Lite at afterparties and belches after like a fucking neanderthal, and uses the word 'bro' too much to be anywhere near a homosexual. Levi was nearly seventy-five percent sure he had a crush on Marie in middle school and so, he was straight, he had to be straight. Levi's gaydar was polished to perfection and there was nothing colorfully fruity about the man to his left and he didn't think that would change. It wouldn't change because it couldn't change but, if it did change, would people think they were a thing? He, and Erwin, a thing? He refused to even entertain the thought. They would _never_ , be a thing because Levi watched the movies and skimmed over the books and what happened in that treehouse would never be spoken of again and—

"I liked it, by the way." Erwin commented, clearing his throat soon after before swallowing. "I liked what happened in the treehouse, it was nice." he clarified, glancing over at Levi who still seemed to be shunning him and ignoring the possibility of his very existence. "I liked it, so, there's no need for us to pretend it didn't happen or—"

"Erwin?" he stopped him.

"Yes?"

"Could you please shut up and fucking drive?"

"Yeah of course, you got it." he smiled to himself, tracing his mouth with his tongue as he licked his lips. "I was just wondering if.. we'd ever get to do that again. Without distractions and interruptions, I mean, and maybe with less clothes, since it's so hot, you know, and we could—"

"Erwin?"

"Yeah?"

"Please crash the car." Levi deadpanned.

"Normally I would do anything for you, but, that, I can't do."

"Why, why can't you?" he asked, wanting Erwin to put him out of his misery. He couldn't do this for another fifty minutes, he couldn't, he'd hyperventilate and perish, he knew he would.

"Can you imagine how upset Mr. Ackerman would be? I doubt he'd invite me to your funeral, or, would I be dead too?"

"Erwin?"

"Mm?" he hummed, enjoying the simplicity of the fact that Levi had said his name again, for the third time, and he couldn't get enough of it.

"I hate you, you know that, don't you."

"Yeah," Erwin grinned widely, "I know you do."


	2. The University of Maria

"Welcome to the University of Maria!" the tour guide exclaimed, though, she didn't really receive any sort of reciprocation. They were in California and it was the middle of August; the sun was hot, the air was hot, the wind was hot, and it was eight in the morning. So frankly, no one was as cheery or peppy as her.

Levi was busy trying to navigate the handout flyers she'd passed out to everyone while Erwin simply slid his into his back pocket, and settled to just listen. From what he could see, he liked the campus. At the center of the school stood a humongous fountain, and with the directories hanging above them, he could see that there was a park, shopping district, library, and café among other comforts.

"I take it that all of you are incoming freshmen?" she asked, clapping her hands together with a smile as she listened out for a few 'yeah''s.

"Awesome! Before we get started I'll tell you everything you need to know," she said. "Right now, we're standing in the middle of the _entire_ school, so, just as a tip, if you ever get lost, come here. The guidance office along with all sorts of helpful administration is located here, and even then if you're still not quite sure, follow the signs." she pointed up. "Up north we have our park; it's open every day from six in the morning to ten at night. You're free to study or sit and chat or tan or eat lunch or walk any sort of possible animal you've chosen to bring with you but we ask that you refrain from barbecuing or grilling. Down South we have our café and library, and those are usually open all day every day with the exception of holidays. East we have our shopping district which is where you can buy your university gear and we'll stop by there later today. And West, we have our football stadium, recreational center, swimming pool and all things sports-related. Are there any questions so far?" she smiled brightly, getting no verbal answer as all she did was look around at the group of doe-eyed eighteen-year-olds gawking at her.

But then, she saw a hand raise, and she was quick to call on it.

"How are the parties?" the man asked, and Levi knew that man's voice to be Erwin's, and he only stared up at him in shock.

Was he fucking serious? It hasn't even been an hour since they stepped foot on campus and he's worried about fucking parties? How much of a fucking jock could he be? They hadn't even begun the touring part of their tour, yet. Did he not understand that Maria was a highly distinguished school? Drugs weren't allowed, alcohol wasn't allowed, and yet he has the audacity to think that parties went on?

"Every year the sororities and fraternities throw a party welcoming new members, and I'm told they're a blast," she answered as Erwin folded his arms.

"You've never been to one?"

"Well, no," she still smiled, but it was obvious that Erwin had struck a nerve. "You'd have to be part of a fraternity or a sorority or at least know someone to get in but, I'm sure it's great fun!"

"And you're.. a sophomore?" Erwin asked, guessing really, she had to be older than them to be a tour guide.

"Senior." her eye twitched as Erwin looked at her.

He couldn't believe it. This poor woman was going to graduate this year and she hadn't been to a college party. How was that possible? That couldn't be a case for everyone, right? She must've made the wrong friends or something, she had to have been, how else could she not have been invited?

While Erwin contemplated the sheer terror of never being able to go to a college party, Levi bit back the compulsion of wanting to hit him, and hit him hard. He was being an asshole and every second their tour guide stood there Levi's second-hand embarrassment grew until, he saw an arm throw itself around Erwin's shoulders. An arm belonging to a man of equal height and as he looked up, he'd discovered his worst nightmare had come true.

Giants.

Two fucking giants standing right beside him as together their shadow snuffed him out. Who was he? Who was the man currently holding Erwin by the shoulder as if he knew him? Erwin didn't know him, and Levi knew that because all the people Erwin knew, he knew, and though this man was foreign to him he looked like Erwin's fucking clone.

"You Erwin Smith?" he asked, looking at him, amazed that this kid was two years younger than him and already, they shared the same height.

"Depends. Who are you?"

"Zacharius." Erwin's body double smiled as he held a hand out for Erwin to shake and he did just that. "Mike Zacharius, QB for the football team. My guys and I heard about you the moment they admitted you."

"Really?"

"Yeah dude, you're a fucking legend. We stood up all night watching your highlights the other day. How'd you fumble the ball with two fucking linebackers on your ass and still score?"

Erwin immediately smiled and shrugged.

"A little finesse, nothing too much." he bragged, making both men laugh as he pretended to brush the dust off his shoulders.

"You're coming to the party Friday night for sure, you gotta. You could meet all the boys on the team and the cheerleading squad'll be there and everyone will lose their shit once they hear you're coming."

"I'm there." Erwin agreed, holding out a hand this time for Mike to slap, hold, and pull in; the handshake that all men did once befriended.

"Perfect. I'll find you on Snap and text you details."

"Cool." was all Erwin said, and as Mike jogged off in the direction from which he came, Erwin looked back at their tour guide who seemed both confused and enraged.

Erwin Smith wasn't even an official student of Maria yet. He didn't have his University ID, he didn't have a dorm, he didn't even have classes. School hadn't begun, football season hadn't begun, nothing had happened, and yet just by his sheer luck and name alone, he was identified during a campus tour and invited to the most elite and exclusive party on campus. Only cool kids went and so, only athletes and friends and girlfriends and boyfriends of athletes where allowed in. Who was he? How did he manage that in a single day when she's been trying for _four_ , years.

"What's your name?" Erwin asked her, as now, the hierarchy of the University of Maria was now as clear as day; athletes got it all, and had it all, and therefore, did whatever they wanted and suddenly, the atmosphere around them had shifted as if Erwin himself, was the tour guide.

"S-Sasha.."

"Great. Tell them you know me and they'll let you in."

Levi had witnessed first hand what just went down, and just because he knew Erwin didn't take away from the fact that what just happened should be illegal and unlawful in every fucking state. Erwin, a freshman, had just now scored more popularity-points than Sasha, a senior. He was known around here. He was talked about, around here. He was a _legend_ , around here and suddenly, Levi didn't think this school was too smart for him at all.

It was right up his alley and was working for him already, and he could tell as Erwin gazed down at him, winking in nothing but triumph.

* * *

"You're not actually going to that party, are you?" Levi looked at Erwin.

They'd finished the tour, though with after what happened earlier that morning he couldn't say that Sasha remained enthusiastic throughout the whole thing. He'd sat himself down in the passenger seat, sliding his seatbelt across his torso and clicking it as Erwin did the same, and started the car.

"Why wouldn't I?" he looked back at Levi, now making Levi's eyes widen.

"Why _wouldn't_ you? What if it's a cult? It wouldn't be the first time a bunch of stupid teenagers turn a frat into some fucked up prejudiced group, and it's always the athletes too. They all have some sort of superiority complex and think they're chosen and so they do weird shit and get away with it. What happens when they tell you to do weird shit? You gonna do it?"

"If they tell me to do weird shit, I'll leave, simple." Erwin shrugged, happy to hear Levi's worried nagging in his right ear as he blasted the air conditioning.

"And how will you know it's weird? You already do questionable shit when you drink. You really think you'll be able to judge weirdness?"

"Fine. I'll take you with me." he compromised, though the smile on his face is what truly scared Levi.

"No you're not." Levi retorted.

"But what if it's a cult?" he guilted him.

"No, that's not fair and you know it's not—"

"What if they make me do weird shit?"

"I'm not going, Erwin."

"How will I know? I'll be too drunk to even know what I'm doing and then next thing I know I'll—"

" _Okay_!" Levi yelled, hating himself a little more after he'd said it. He couldn't say no, to Erwin. Not when he'd told him that he wanted to apply to his school and not now. He didn't know why, but be couldn't. He'd always called Erwin a spoiled brat and yet, he always enabled it.

School hadn't started yet, and Levi was already walking down the wrong path but, for Erwin, things were looking up already.


	3. First Day Jitters

Today was the first day of school, and lucky for both of them, Erwin and Levi were in the same English class. It was only class they shared and it made sense, considering it was a core class, and that they were both freshmen. Class didn't start until nine and yet, Levi had been up for the past two hours and counting getting ready. He had to look his best, and in order to look his best, he had to feel his best. He'd memorized his schedule the week before. He had English in the morning, Filmmaking and Photography back-to-back in the afternoon, followed by Communications in the evening. Each of his classes were divided with anywhere from forty-five minutes to an hour and a half between, giving him enough time to eat, take a nap, or study if he needed to.

Naturally, Levi had straight, black, shoulder-length hair. He used to have it cut in his younger years but, he'd always envied his mother's long, dark, and silky hair and so, he refrained from cutting it since then, he'd only ever trim split ends. Today, however, he decided to curl his hair. He'd washed and shampooed his hair the day before, setting them in rollers rather than risking any hair damage from heat and upon taking out the rollers this morning, he was welcomed with perfect, bouncy beach waves. It was like a bob, almost, and Levi thought it made him look less intimidating than he normally was. Paired with this he wore a flowy, breezy, thin white blouse that he rolled up to just above his elbows along with some denim shorts. He slid on his regular converse, which had now been dirted with how constantly he wore them, and as he perfected himself in the bathroom of his dorm, he let time escape him, for a moment.

The neat freak that laid not so deep inside Levi wouldn't dare to leave without being in tip-top shape. He lathered his arms and legs with a sunscreen lotion. He spritzed himself with a teeny bit of fragrance. He took the time to slide on a few bangles and pop in a pair of earrings and alas, he could never forget his face. He curled his eyelashes, applying a layer or two of mascara just make his eyes and overall demeanor more approachable before finishing by putting on a clear, but sheen lipgloss. Usually, Levi wouldn't wear makeup because he wasn't that type of gay but, he was dressing to impress, and he thought it was necessary, so he had to.

He backed away from the mirror, rubbing his lips together as he spread the lipgloss over his mouth and as he screwed the lipgloss shut and eyed himself from a distance, he determined he was ready for the day. He took a deep breath, allowing his chest to rise to its full potential, but before he could breathe out, the bathroom door was blown right open, and in stomped some sort of man-eating creature Levi had never fucking seen before.

It was making a beeline straight towards him and Levi was quick to shove himself into the wall only for the beast to lift the cover of the toilet seat. He watched in horror, pants were pulled down, knees were knocking, things were falling from the counters and the room was shaking and then, it was quiet, all except for the soft, trickling, and splashing sound of liquid falling into another liquid.

It was _peeing_.

Levi was still in the fucking bathroom and it was peeing and as Levi stared, it looked up at him, and smiled.

"Sorry about that, I got lost last night and couldn't find my back to our dorm and so, I _really_ , had to go," they said.

Did they just say _our_ dorm? Levi was dormmates, with a fucking pervert?

"I'm Hanji, by the way," they held out their hand as Levi only gawked at it. Like _hell_ he was touching that.

Levi sprang from the wall and sprinted out, grabbing his phone, dorm key, wallet, and bookbag as he ran out of the bathroom, dorm room, and the entire fucking building.

"It's nice to meet you!" Hanji yelled after him, but Levi was nowhere near to hear it.

* * *

  
" _Where are you_?" Levi texted his imbecile of a best friend.

He'd been sitting in class for the past twenty minutes or so and Erwin wasn't here yet. Even though he didn't say it aloud, he cared about Erwin and worried about him more often than not. He didn't want Erwin to be late on the first day of school because, what would that say about him? What would that say about his character? He'd be on the professor's bad side within the first ten seconds of class and Levi did _not_ , want to be affiliated with the kid that was always tardy, or class clown. Not again.

" _I found a vending machine, you want something_?" Erwin texted him back, but Levi's fingers were already moving at lightning speed.

" _Class is about to start in five minutes_."

Erwin didn't reply for another three minutes before saying: " _I got you Skittles_."

Levi had had enough. He tapped on Erwin's contact, calling him as he put the phone to his ear and without it ringing twice, Erwin answered.

"Okay so, they have drinks in this other machine too. You want a fruit punch?" he asked, Levi thinking Erwin might have actually been mental, for a moment, but then remembering this was Erwin, his best friend of eleven years, who he was on the phone with, so it all made sense.

"You did see my text about class starting in five minutes, right?"

"Yeah, I saw it," he said, checking what code number the fruit punch was under before pressing the same digits into the keypad on the machine, and watching as it fell.

"And that doesn't concern you?"

"Nah, it's grace week."

"Grace week?" Levi's face twisted in confusion.

"Teachers grace you for a week, you can be as late as you want. I'll tell them I'm a freshman and say I got lost and then—"

"Who told you that, exactly?"

"Mike."

"And you believed him?"

"Well, yeah, he's a junior so I—"

"You're an idiot."

"I love it when you compliment me."

"That wasn't a fucking compliment you dumbass."

"Careful now, if I didn't know any better I'd say you liked me."

"I don't like you, I hate you."

"Oh I see, is this one of your heartfelt confessions? Are you gonna tell me how you really feel? Go on, I'm listening." he egged.

Erwin could tell Levi was fuming, he could hear it in his voice and could already see his adorably anger-ridden face that was undoubtedly red. When Levi was upset, he always gave him this look; narrowed eyes, angled eyebrows, and his lips curled in a way that made his expression look like he was forcing himself to be mad at him because he knew he wasn't. It never frightened Erwin. It was impossible to be scared by someone so small and dainty and little and so whenever he smiled or laughed at Levi during one of his fits, Levi punched him, slapped him, kicked him, and did anything in his power to inflict some kind of pain and Erwin didn't care.

He loved Levi's abuse.

"Erwin, if you're not here in ten, seconds, I'm going to—"

"I'm here."

Levi quickly brought his gaze up and to the classroom door, and much to his surprise and Erwin's luck, the moment he stepped in, was the moment the class began. Levi watched as Erwin looked around for him like a buffoon, and as soon he spotted him, he smiled, waved, hung up his phone and made his way over, and Levi did nothing but stare.

He'd kill him. One day, he'd kill him, without a doubt, and Levi wouldn't feel bad about it.

"What'd I miss?" Erwin asked, sitting beside Levi as he casually threw his arm over Levi's shoulders with a cunning grin. He thought he was smooth as peered down at that infuriated face he knew and loved and then, the next thing he knew was pain.

With one swift movement of the hand, Levi smacked him upside the head, listening to Erwin hiss quietly as he groaned. Erwin's arm retreated as he rubbed the flesh Levi had just assaulted.

"Give me my candy," Levi demanded, making Erwin want to laugh but, he knew if he did, Levi would have another thing coming for him, or rather his head, or his arm, or his face, or anywhere, really.

Erwin sat Levi's Skittles and fruit punch on the surface in front of them, and all Levi did was glare at him as he impaled the box with the plastic straw.

It was a threat, that much Erwin knew, but Erwin didn't know if Levi knew how cute he was.


	4. Blondie

Just like he promised, Erwin had to go meet the boys. The party wasn't until Friday, and even though today was both Monday and the first day of school, he had to try-out, even though it wasn't technically try-outs. The football team never changed unless it absolutely had to, and Mike explained to him that all they'd do today was warm-up, and get to know each other on and off the field. Erwin had finished all of his classes for the day, and though he was accepted and given an athletic scholarship, all he really took were General Studies classes. But, on pen and paper, he was majoring in Business, even though he wouldn't take any business-related course for the next two years or so.

It was a win-win.

General Studies was practically a rerun of everything he learned in high school, and Levi being how he was, Erwin already knew he had the answers to everything within the last four years backed up and stored somewhere. The only semi-challenging course he had was Calculus, and even then, Erwin didn't mind it. In retrospect, that was the only class he had where he may actually be shocked about a quiz or test he didn't see coming, or forgot, was coming, and at the end of the day, he'll still get his degree, so Erwin wasn't worried at all.

After a few tries at his locker within the men's locker room, it finally clicked open. He set his sports bag on the bench between both rows of lockers and unzipped it; unpacking his body spray, deodorant, towels, washcloths, and a plethora of Gatorade and Powerade bottles. He was slightly early, and that alone would have made Levi proud but now, he took the time to get ready for the day's drill. Mike warned him that Coach would drill them until they passed out. He'd lap them, run them until they got dizzy or threw up or both but most importantly, Mike told him to _never_ , stop moving. If he stopped, Coach would make them do it all over again, from the top, and even Erwin didn't like the sound of that.

Erwin stepped out of his shoes, kicking off his pants before sitting down on the bench and sliding his knee, and thigh pads on. He didn't think he'd need to put on his athletic cup since they were warming up and as he pulled on a pair of compression shorts and jammed his foot into one of his cleats, the distant sound of voices met his ears. He assumed it was the other guys and so, he didn't let it disturb him. He put on his other cleat before standing up and tugging his shirt off and tossing it deep into his locker elsewhere and as he got dressed, his phone made a specific noise indicating a text message, and it didn't take long for him to stop what he was doing and read it.

" _Where are you_?" Levi texted him again, putting a smile on his face.

"Football field, trying out."

Erwin watched the bubble with three dots for a moment before Levi's text popped up.

 _"How long is that gonna take? I wanna eat later. I joined this art club and this girl put me on to some Korean place and I wanna check it out._ "

" _Idk, an hour? Two hours_?"

" _I don't know_ *," Levi corrected him, he loathed acronyms. " _But text me when you're done and we can meet up somewhere_."

Erwin couldn't stop smiling, and as he typed up his reply, a very familiar, rough, and heavy hand was slammed down on his shoulder once again.

"Okay, so, rule number one, Coach hates phones. Don't let him catch you with it, he'll fuckin' break it." Mike patted him on the back with a chuckle, but, he wasn't the only one who laughed.

Erwin hadn't noticed it until now, and as he looked around, all around him stood ten other people, all changing for tonight's warm-up.

"There are rules in a locker room?" Erwin asked.

"Hell yeah, and if you don't follow 'em, Coach'll run you 'till you shit yourself." another man said whilst changing.

"Rule number two," a separate man said, "Coach used to be in the military, so if you want to live, I'd address him as either Sir or Coach, but nothing else."

"And don't be late for practice or games," another said, as Erwin looked at him.

"And don't be stupid."

"And don't smile."

"And don't run too fast."

"And don't run too slow."

"And don't fucking listen to Oluo, kid's been fucking concussed nine times in two years, he doesn't know where his fucking dick is," Mike said, making the whole locker room blow up in laughter as Erwin too laughed; they were messing with him a bit. Erwin was a freshman so, he expected it.

"Anyways, let me introduce you to your team," Mike began, putting an arm around Erwin's shoulder as his other hand pointed to each man. "That's Reiner and Bertholdt, we call 'em RnB for short; they're your Wide Receivers," he said, both men giving Erwin a nod as they stripped and redressed. "That's Moblit, or Mo, he's your Tight End." he went on, "That's Connie, your Running Back, and even though he's vertically stunted that motherfucker's fast, don't let him fool you," he joked, getting a snicker from Erwin. "And your linemen; Nile's your Center, Gunther, Eld, Hannes, and Oluo are your Guards and Tackles, and me? I'm your Quarterback."

"And finally," Mike said, "You're Erwin Smith, or Blondie, our Fullback." he initiated him, as now, Erwin watched as every man in the locker room celebrated him; hooting and hollering and barking like dogs and whistling all while they stomped and banged on the lockers, and Erwin could feel his heart pumping already.

Now, _this_ , would be one hell of a fucking season, and he could feel it.

* * *

  
"So how was it?" Levi asked, lifting a piece of freshly grilled beef up to his mouth with a pair of chopsticks as he blew the heat off of it, before sliding it between his lips and chewing.

"How was what?" Erwin asked him, replacing the piece Levi just ate with a new slice of beef. It was a Korean BBQ place, and with how cheap it was and how much meat Erwin got to eat, he was a little lost in all the protein, and Levi just rolled his eyes.

"Football, you meathead." he clarified, having covered his mouth as he spoke since he was still chewing.

"Oh," Erwin dragged out, "It was cool, the guys are cool, the field is cool, the locker room is cool," he shrugged. "Everything was cool," he said, looking across the table as he flipped the beef, and stared at Levi, who didn't look to pleased.

"Cool? After all my years of helping you not be a dumb jock, _that's_ , your word of choice?" he crossed his arms, Erwin now searching his mind for another adjective.

"The Coach was a little.. uncool, but—"

"Don't ever speak to me again."

"Hey hey woah woah," Erwin rushed between laughter, "It was a joke," he swallowed. "It was a joke and you knew it was."

"You're not funny."

"So what now, you're gonna pretend to be mad at me all day because of a word?" he questioned.

"I'm not mad."

"Then what are you?"

"Annoyed."

"Oh okay," Erwin said sarcastically, lifting his glass of water and taking a sip while he looked at Levi.

Levi would ignore him for the night, he knew. He wouldn't talk to him no matter how hard he tried and the walk back to campus would be completely silent. He'd walk _way_ ahead of him, and he'd have to jog up to catch him every single time, and he wouldn't text him until tomorrow, around lunchtime, and Erwin knew because that's what it had been like for the last eleven years, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

He sat there, as Levi steamed, his back against the booth they sat in as he tilted his head to one side, and did nothing but admire Levi. He didn't know how Levi didn't know. Levi was the smartest, brightest, and most intelligent person Erwin knew, and yet, he still hadn't figured out that he liked him. That he liked him more than in a platonic way. That he liked him more than a friendly way. That he liked him more than a best friend, kind of way and that he'd been waiting for what happened in the treehouse to happen for a long, long time. Erwin did whatever he could when he could. He opened doors, held doors, held chairs, made hints that Levi thought were annoying and gross but he thought was romantic and polite. He'd always liked how whenever he didn't know something, he started biting his nails. Or when he laughed too hard, he couldn't sit still so, he'd kick his feet or bounce his legs. Or when he was just so sleepy and unable to control the weight of his eyes he'd just, fall asleep beside him, in the passenger seat, on a couch, on the bus, laying his head on his shoulder. Levi didn't know how much he adored him. How much he adored his smile, and his voice, and his dimples and his sneezes and how when he was embarrassed he'd light right up, and his face would go pink.

Levi was oblivious to it, somehow.

Erwin was some big dumb clown, to Levi, and he didn't mind it. He could watch him, and look at him, and gaze at him in the soft-lit room of the restaurant through the lenses and the disguise of his stupid, weird, alcoholic jock of best friend and no one would bat an eye.

Looking at him in the way he was now only reminded him of the one time he was more than his friend. The one time he had Levi not only in his arms but in his lap. The one time he could feel how warm, light, and small he was. The one time he could feel a certain type of touch from Levi that wasn't a slap, a kick, or a punch, but a gentle graze. The one time he felt what Levi's lips felt like, and tasted like. The one time he could feel Levi wanting something from him, wanting him out of his clothes, wanting him to do something, wanting him, wanting all of him and now, Erwin's mind wouldn't be off it for the rest of the day.

Levi _saw_ him, that day, and really saw him.

Saw him as something other than his friend and what happened in that treehouse was something Erwin could never forget. He wanted to talk about it. He wanted to talk about it with Levi the same way they always talked about things and even though he tried to bring it up on every occasion, Levi ignored him the same way he was ignoring him now. Erwin just wanted to be seen, again. He wanted to be wanted. He wanted to feel. He wanted to touch. He wanted what happened in the backyard of his home to happen again, and even though he knew the outcome of bringing up the said topic, that childish disposition Levi hated would bring it up anyways.

"We should talk about what happened in the treehouse," Erwin said, and just as he was about to continue, Levi cut whatever string of hope Erwin was pulling on.

"I'm paying," Levi said, folding his arms as he looked at Erwin.

"Paying for what, for this?"

"Yes."

"No you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"You're not."

"But I am though." Levi smiled not so sweetly.

"But you're not though." Erwin smiled the same way.

They went on like that for fifteen minutes or so, in the end, Erwin footed the bill like always, and Levi ignored him just the same afterward.


	5. Cupcakes & Conflict

"Make sure you vote for Levi Ackerman for President, okay?" Erwin smiled down at the woman in front of their table.

"O-Of course.." she stammered as she stared at him, and she had all the reason to.

It had been two months, and elections for the Student Government had just begun, and Levi wanted to be on that ballot. He wanted to hit them hard and so, he had Erwin working his table with him as he let him handout free cupcakes and do his job for him only, he'd given Erwin a uniform, of sorts. Erwin wore a humongous, cliche chef's hat, along with a white apron that was now covered in frosting, and a pair of jeans. He had no shirt, and the apron he had on was so tight his muscles looked to be bursting out of the seams. Levi wanted to win, and he knew how he'd win, and sex appeal seemed to bring everyone to his table and with that, collect everyone's vote, and he wasn't at all upset. Sex sells, and Erwin was doing just what he wanted, and if he kept this up, Levi might be the first freshmen to become Student Body President.

"You promise me?" Erwin asked her, making the woman blush so intensely it looked like sunburn.

"I-I promise!" she declared loudly, nodding her head rapidly.

"Thank you gorgeous, enjoy your cupcake," he said, the woman swooned, gazing up at the blond six-foot-four piece of muscle she wanted all to herself, but as the crowd around the table grew and the line grew longer, she was pushed away.

"Gorgeous, really Erwin?" Levi looked at him as he set out more cupcakes so Erwin didn't have to open the irritating packaging.

"What? You said to make sure they voted for you." he looked back at him in confusion.

"Yeah, but I didn't say make her fall in _love_ , with you. There's a difference."

"She wasn't in love." Erwin shook his head, grabbing another cupcake and handing it to another woman with a smile while repeating the same line, and ensuring her vote went to Levi.

"Did you see her? She nearly fell the fuck over."

"Is someone jealous?" Erwin grinned, peering back over at him as now, Levi was quick to yank his eyes away.

"No, we're done, stop talking."

Erwin only laughed.

"Was I right?"

"Shut up and hand out the fucking cupcakes." he snapped, setting out more tiny desserts for Erwin as he listened to him laugh as he patronized him.

It wasn't jealousy, it was just too much. Handing out compliments wasn't a good idea is all, that was it. He wasn't jealous. He couldn't be jealous. There was nothing he could be jealous about. He just wanted to make sure that when Election Day came people would line up and vote for him and not his taller, muscular, blond, and more idiotic counterpart. That was it. Simple and plain.

"Erwin?" a voice said, and though it wasn't his name, Levi looked up at the same time Erwin did.

"Hey," Erwin said back, but it was clear he didn't know the blonde woman who now stood in front of him and claimed to know him.

"You're in my Calculus class, right? Erwin Smith?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so. I may have seen you once or twice."

"I'm Annie." she held out her hand with a toothy, but, well-practiced smile, and Levi watched Erwin shake her hand.

"I didn't think my Fullback would be running for Student Government," she said with a small laugh.

Pause. Hold on a minute, did she just say _my_ , Fullback? Was she a part of a sorority? Was she a cheerleader? How did she know Erwin aside from having Calculus? Did she even take Calculus? Cheerleaders don't normally take Calculus, do they? Why was she so comfortable around him? And why was Erwin? Had they met before? How many times had they met before? Who was she?

"I don't," Erwin said, "I'm just helping a friend out."

A friend? Did he just say that he was a fucking _friend_? Is he fucking serious, or was he just mentally fucking slow? He wasn't a fucking friend. He was his best friend, of eleven years. _Eleven_ , years. Eleven years or 135 months or 590 weeks or 4127 days it didn't fucking matter, they weren't fucking friends.

"Oh okay, who am I voting for then?" she asked sweetly, watching as Erwin lifted up a vanilla cupcake with light blue frosting on it, and handed it to her.

"Levi Ackerman, for Student Body President."

Annie took the cupcake from Erwin's hands, swiping up a bit of the frosting with her finger, and sliding that same finger into her mouth, and sucking on it as she tasted it. She looked at Erwin, her pupils tracing what stood before her as she eyed him up and down before nodding.

"I'll see you later today then, won't I?" she asked, blinking more than necessary to drive the fact that she was flirting, and Erwin was too fucking dense to notice.

"For sure." Erwin smiled.

"Don't be late," she said, soon walking away from the table as she fluttered her fingers. "Bye Erwin," she whispered alluringly, soon disappearing somewhere into the crowd while Erwin tried to tame everything once more.

He started to handing out cupcakes again but, Levi stopped packing them out.

What was that? What was that, just then? Why does he feel so.. weird, right now? Why does he feel so bothered? Nothing happened. A girl came up and got a cupcake and was acting a little weird with Erwin, right? Wait. No. No, she wasn't. She wasn't acting, she was flirting. She was flirting with Erwin; batting her lashes, waving goodbye, talking to him like she was some fucking pornstar and eating the frosting off of her fucking finger like she was fucking cute. Why did she do that? Did she not see the gigantic fucking banner hanging in front of their table with Levi's name on it? This was _Levi's_ , table. Hundreds of girls came up to Erwin today but none of them did that. He never complimented her, so what the fuck was wrong with her? The fuck was her problem? Why did Erwin shake her hand? Why did Erwin call him his friend and only his friend? Why was he smiling at her and befriending her and making it seem like them seeing each other during class was something more than it was at face value?

Why was Levi getting so worked up about this?

Why was it making him so upset? Why was _she_ , making him upset? Was it because she touched him? Was it because she flirted with him? Was it because she made it seem that they were friends longer than he and Erwin were or was it because she'd undressed him with her eyes?

"Hey, Levi, I'm gonna need more cupcakes soon." Erwin snapped Levi out of his thoughts as now, Levi didn't know what to think or.. how to feel.

Why was he so angry just then, and why was he so distraught, now?

It had only been a minute or so between both emotions and, he couldn't help but feel like something just switched or maybe, clicked. He didn't know if it was Annie that upset him or, Erwin. Was he overthinking it? Did anyone else see what had happened? Was it just a simple interaction he was dragging out? Was he making something out of nothing?

"Sorry," Levi said, now putting more cupcakes out and starting to fill the tray once more but, the remaining thought in his head wouldn't leave his mind.

Why was he feeling this way?

* * *

  
Levi hadn't stopped thinking about it. It bothered him, all day, throughout all of his classes, and he couldn't figure out why. He couldn't focus on anything except what happened earlier that morning. Erwin didn't do anything wrong or say anything wrong. He was his friend, he was helping him out, and Levi assumed they were in the same Calculus class so, why couldn't he get over it? It was midnight, and Levi was staring at the ceiling unable to sleep. He could never sleep well at night knowing there was a test or quiz the next day but, this wasn't a test or quiz, this was Erwin. He didn't know why he was so angry at him. He didn't know why he wanted to hit him. He didn't know why he was so stuck up on him calling him his friend when.. that's what they were, at least, that's what Levi wanted them.. to be.

They were friends. They'd been friends, they've always been friends and maybe Erwin's tongue slipped. But even then, it bothered him. It made his skin itch. It made him cringe. It made him feel so nauseous to the point where he'd swear he'd vomit. It made his head hurt and his eye twitch and his heart quicken and his chest tighten but, why?

Levi didn't know that woman and yet, he never wanted to see her again. Erwin wasn't her Fullback, he was _his_ best friend, and that's what he should have fucking said to her fucking face unless, she and Erwin shared something he didn't know about.

Did they know each other and just, not their names? Where else have they seen one another? Did they hangout? Where did they hangout? Did they talk after this morning? What happened in their Calculus class? What did he say? What did Annie say? What were they now? Did they swap social media handles? Did they send each other pictures of homework? Did they give each other their numbers? Were they up texting right now?

Levi's eyes sprang wide open, and in the blink of an eye, he reached over for his phone. He squinted his eyes, blinding himself with his phone screen as now, he called Erwin, and put the phone to his ear.

He had to know. He had to know what was going on. He had to know who she was and what she wanted to do with Erwin and—

"Everything.. alright?" Erwin asked with a dry, unprepared, and half-asleep voice. And then, just then, for the first time all day, Levi's mind went blank.

What was he doing? Why was he calling him? Did he know how late it was? Why wasn't he saying anything? Did he wake him up? Why was he the one being weird when it was usually always Erwin? What was wrong with him? Why was he freaking out so much? Why couldn't he think of anything else but what happened this morning even though he swore it wasn't a big deal?

"Hey, Levi, you okay?" Erwin asked again, stopping Levi's chain of malicious wonderings as he flinched.

"Y-Yeah I just.. wanted to talk, about something."

He stuttered. Levi never stuttered and when he did, he was nervous. He wanted to talk. Levi wanted to talk and he was nervous about it and suddenly, Erwin was wide awake and sitting up in his bed. This was it. He wanted to talk about what happened last summer. He wanted to talk about what happened in the treehouse. Erwin would've rather it be in person rather than over the phone but, he wasn't complaining. They were talking, they were finally talking, and he'd been praying for this day to come for God knows how long.

"I'm all ears," Erwin said, clutching his phone to ear as he felt his heart leap out of his chest. He wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear what Levi had to say about what happened and how he felt about what happened and what they would do, about what happened but, somehow, the longer Levi took to say it, or say something, anything at all, the lesser Erwin's hope became.

"Hello?" Erwin asked again, not quite understanding what was happening.

"It's about Annie," Levi said. "I-I was just.. wondering if you had her phone number, by any chance. I have this assignment due next week in Photography class and she.. more or less fits what I'm looking for so I was hoping you could get us in touch."

Annie. It was about Annie.

Erwin was a hopeful, optimistic, and generally a very happy-go-lucky person but now, just then, it felt as if a part of him had died, for some reason.

"Oh, yeah, of course, I'll ask her some time tomorrow." he said, faking his smile even though Levi couldn't see it.

"Thank you, and.. sorry for, you know, waking you up," Levi swallowed. " I—I just.. I just remembered."

"It's no problem."

"Goodnight, Erwin."

"Good—"

The call ended before Erwin could finish, and all Erwin did was stare at his phone blankly. Levi didn't forget homework, he _never_ , forgot homework, he had an agenda and he was so protective over it to where he'd abuse him if he dared to touch it. That, and Levi was never up this late. He always went to bed at a time his parents would be proud of and yet, Levi called him at this hour. He never called him this late for anything and if he did, he certainly wouldn't call him this late over some girl he met this morning.

What did Erwin do, and what did Levi really, want to talk about?


	6. Ghosted

Today was Friday, and the weekend was about to commence in less than eight hours. Erwin couldn't wait to party all weekend and party with Levi, but now, he was on his way to English class with Skittles and a box of fruit punch in his hand. He was on time, which, again, was a bit surprising and as he walked in, his eyes fell on Levi. He was writing something in his notebook, and as Erwin sat beside him and set his rightful snacks down in front of him, he lifted his bookbag from his shoulders and set it down on top of the same surface Levi was writing on.

"So I was thinking, after football practice and before tonight's party, we could go to that Korean place. That a good idea?" he asked, watching Levi as he continued writing whatever he was writing but, never looked at him.

He didn't have headphones in, so he could hear him. He saw him, saw his snacks, saw his bookbag, saw everything so, why was he pretending they weren't there, and like he wasn't there?

"You okay?" Erwin asked him, only to be shunned and ignored in response as he watched Levi's pen dance along the college-ruled lines of his notebook.

But when he remembered. Levi called him, he called him late last night claiming he wanted to talk about something but instead, he asked him about Annie. He wanted to talk about something and didn't and so, Erwin figured he did something or said something to upset him.

Erwin reached out, taking hold of Levi's pen so he couldn't write any longer.

"Hey, Levi, if this is about last night, I—"

Levi didn't speak, but he got up. He didn't say a word. He gathered his things; his laptop, his pencil case, his phone, his notebook, and his bookbag, and carried them elsewhere, to a different seat, far away from Erwin, and Erwin only watched him. He didn't take his candy with him, or his juice, and now, Erwin was truly, confused. If he did something wrong he could understand Levi ignoring him, he always ignored him but, he never physically removed himself the way he did just now.

What did he do to make Levi do that? What happened, yesterday? All he remembered doing was helping Levi secure his spot as Student Body President between classes. Then after that, he had Calculus, then General Studies, and then he was out scrimmaging with a couple of his teammates and then—Erwin blinked—he didn't text Levi. He _didn't_ text, Levi. Levi always wanted to know where he was and what he was doing but he'd gotten so caught up in the game that he forgot and just, went home. That was it. That had to be it. But, if that was really the reason why he was upset then, why did he call him last night asking about Annie? Did he think he was with Annie? Did he think he was with Annie and so, that was the reason for him not texting Levi? But then, why would he ask for her phone number? Why would he consider using her as part of his assignment? Why would he even bring her up, and mention her?

Erwin couldn't wrap his head around it. He couldn't get it. He couldn't understand and before he could think through some of his senseless sense, class had begun, and the professor was instructing them to open their textbooks.

* * *

  
Erwin sat by himself in the midst of Calculus class. He had his notebook sitting beneath his right hand, and his textbook opened up to the page of questions he needed to complete for today by his left. His calculator and water bottle were a minor arm stretch away but now, he worked quietly. His earphones hung from his ears as he multitasked between work and music, and as he scribbled yet another problem down in his notebook, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Erwin looked to his side, his eyes locking onto a pair of blue eyes before he reached up and unplugged his earphones from his ears.

"Do you think you could help me?" Annie asked, as Erwin contemplated what was really going on for a moment.

He hadn't heard her when she came and sat by him since he was playing music however, she was sitting oddly close. Nonetheless, Erwin was a nice guy who liked helping people, so he didn't think much of it.

"Yeah, which one?"

Annie smiled, soon reaching over Erwin entirely as he backed out of the way. She lifted Erwin's textbook and set it between them so they could both see it, scooting even closer as it was clear that she didn't really know personal space very well but, Erwin didn't let it bother him as she pointed out a question.

"This one. I keep getting a negative, but, I know that's not right," she said, making Erwin nod as he too examined the question. It was one of those questions that had many steps, and missing a step would fuck up everything else after that. It was fairly easy if what was required to do was   
memorized, but was equally as simple to mess up if it wasn't.

"So," Erwin leaned in, clearing his throat, "Since there's a mix of both parentheses and brackets you just, solve it from the inside out. Solve what's inside the parentheses and then the brackets and then.. distribute the exponents.. multiply like coefficients.. divide both sides to find the variable and then plug in it to solve the equation." he said, simply put as he seemed to be doing it all in his head but, as he looked over at Annie, he found her gazing at him instead of the textbook.

"You _are_ coming to tonight's party, right?"

Erwin opened his mouth to answer but, for the first time, he thought about what he was going to say before actually saying it. What did going to the party have to do with the question she needed help with? And.. why did she ask him when she could have asked their professor? Why wasn't she paying attention to him actually helping her? Was it so she could talk to him? And ask him that? What did she want?

"Yeah, I should be. Why?"

"Well, I was just wondering. I'm sure you know the whole cheerleading squad will be there, including me, since I'm the Captain. And usually we play beer pong, or spin the bottle, and you know," she lifted her hand, setting it on Erwin's thigh as she ran her palm along his leg. "I just want you to be there."

Erwin didn't know why this was happening, but he didn't like it. He got what was happening but, he didn't know why. All he did was play football. He got that he was known around this school, and he knew that the very day of the tour, but, what _exactly_ was he known for? Football season began two months ago and since then, Erwin had been doing nothing but scoring touchdowns in the name of his University. Before then, he would've never imagined a day where hundreds of people would scream his name throughout the stadium, or have those same people see him and recognize him and congratulate him on his wins and touchdowns in the hallway but, right about now, he was starting to think he was known for something else. Was he known for drinking? Smoking? Fucking around and having a good time or, maybe, with the way Annie was acting, sleeping, around?

Erwin didn't know what to do but at the same time, he didn't want to outwardly reject her and come off as an asshole and so, he switched the subject entirely.

"Do you have your phone on you?" Erwin asked, making Annie's eyes light up.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Levi," Erwin said, "My.. friend, that I was helping out yesterday. He wanted to get in touch with you for a project or something. He majors in Photograhpy and so, I guess he'd want to.. take pictures, of you." he redirected the conversation.

"Oh," Annie said, watching that same light disappear as fast as it came. She seemed a little less interested but, it worked; she moved her hand, and Erwin could breathe finally.

"I'll give you his number, just give him a call when you're free."


	7. Belonging

Levi hadn't spoken to Erwin since the night before.

He sat alone in his bedroom at his desk, editing a video for his filmmaking class that was due Monday morning but, he'd finish before the night was through. He sat there, wearing a sweater and some sweatpants, all while having his hair pulled up, out of the way, and in a ponytail. He took his time, editing his video; Levi knew it was busy work and just something his professor assigned so that they had something to do over the weekend rather than go that party but, Levi didn't mind it. It forced him to take his mind off the one thing he didn't want to think about and yet, every once in a while, he reminded himself of Erwin.

He ignored him all day.

He didn't wait up for him at the end of class. He didn't answer his phone despite him blowing it up. He didn't eat lunch with him. He didn't go to his practice and he avoided him at any and every cost and the worst part about it was that he didn't know why. He didn't hate him, but he was mad at him. He wasn't that upset with him, but he was pissed off. He wasn't annoyed or angry and he didn't want to hit him but at the same time, he didn't want to see him, hear him, or think about him. Levi never liked it when he just couldn't understand something. He hated when he was trying as best as he could and still, in the end, have no solid answer or, have the wrong answer. He hated it when something just didn't click. When something he practiced and studied and memorized for so long didn't stick to the walls of his skull and right now, he hated that he couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, and what he was feeling, and why he was feeling it.

The more it lingered in his head the more it made less sense and the more it made him want to pretend Erwin didn't subsist.

He was upset but he didn't know why. He was angry and he didn't know why. He was sad and he didn't know why. He didn't want to talk to anyone about anything because he wanted to be alone despite the fact that he hated the thought of being lonely and he didn't know why except, not all of that was entirely true. It wasn't that he feared loneliness; loneliness entailed not having anyone, anyone at all but right now, Levi had people. He had his mother and his father and his friends from high school and Petra, whom he'd met in Art Club, but what he feared right now, was the loss of his best friend.

He didn't want to lose Erwin.

He didn't want to lose Erwin and yet he made it seem like Erwin was the one who'd done something, like Erwin was the one who'd done something wrong and messed it up when really, Levi's heart and head were battling emotions Levi himself didn't know he had and he didn't know how to handle them.

Levi stopped working, for a moment.

He sighed, sitting his elbows on his desk in favor of holding his head in his hands and closing his eyes. He didn't know what to do. He ignored Erwin all the time but, not like this. He got mad at Erwin more than he should've but, not like this. He hated Erwin, wanted to kill him at times but, not like this. This was something different, and no matter how much time Levi let pass and fly he couldn't figure it out. With another sigh, Levi sat up; he flipped his phone over to check the time. It was reasonably late, and he knew the party Mike had invited Erwin to had begun hours ago if not just started. He didn't know if Erwin went. He didn't know where he was or what he was doing or if he was okay or if he'd eaten at that Korean place after practice like he said he would and as Levi worried and fretted, he found his arms hugging around him, and his heart pounding, in his chest.

This wasn't anger, and Levi knew. This wasn't hatred or being upset or annoyed or bothered or lonely. This was yearning, and Levi knew because he felt the same way five years ago, when Erwin got the flu and was out of school for three weeks. He was scared then and he was scared now. He thought a lot about him then and he thought about him even more now although, they were college, and it was more frightening. People always say in high school, losing friends means nothing, as they never really were friends but, he never lost Erwin. Erwin always prevailed and stood by his side and skipped classes with him and traded him his clearly superior Chip's Ahoy cookies for his subpar animal crackers and was constantly willing to make a fool of himself and risk getting detention just to make him laugh on his bad days. He didn't want to lose Erwin. Not now and not ever but if that was true, why did he distance himself the way he did? He still couldn't narrow down what exactly made him treat Erwin the way he did even though Erwin did absolutely nothing but, as Levi shook his head and groaned, he reached up, and rubbed his eyes.

 _We should talk about what happened in the treehouse_ , is what Erwin said the night they went out to that Korean BBQ place.

He'd heard it loud and clear and he'd heard it in the car on the way to the college tour and he'd heard it over and over and over in the days after what happened in the treehouse, happened. Erwin always wanted to talk about it. He always brought it up, he always mentioned it, he always talked about it like it was okay and normal and he never left out the fact that he enjoyed it and in return, Levi ignored him. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to remind himself that a small fraction of him might be falling for his best friend because he didn't know for sure, and Levi would rather leave a question blank, and unknown, and empty, instead of guessing, and being wrong, and failing and regretting it all.

He didn't like Erwin, like that.

He liked that he bought him snacks between classes. He liked that he walked him to his dorm every night. He liked that he was always nice to him. He liked that he could talk to him. He liked that if Levi ever felt embarrassed he would get up and embarrass himself ten times more if he had to, just so that he wouldn't feel so exposed and, he liked that he could make him laugh.

He was funny, but Levi would never admit it.

He liked how Erwin talked to him. He liked how Erwin treated him. He liked how Erwin looked at him, and stared at him, and how when he was helping him with his English Erwin would always ask him to say a word again and then.. he'd say it slower, and softer, and he could tell from the glimmer in his eyes that he understood, before repeating it with correct, and flawless pronunciation.

It hadn't been a day, and normally Levi would've been able to ignore Erwin for a week if need be but, there was no need to ignore him. Erwin didn't do anything wrong, and it felt as if he was just searching for something to be mad at him about when there was nothing, and with that, Levi picked up his phone and unlocked it. He was going to call him, and talk. He'd apologize for being an asshole and, after that, he wasn't sure what he was going to say but he'd figure it out when the time came. He was used to talking with Erwin, there was nothing to be afraid of. They talked, they always talked, and Levi recognized his own stupidity even though he wouldn't dare make it known.

He went to his contact and scrolled down to Erwin's name, however, just as he was about to call him, an unsaved number called him, and Levi froze. He never really got calls from anyone besides people in his contact list anymore. He used to, when he'd just newly gotten his phone but, he had his phone for over a year. Levi wasn't keen on answering phone calls from people he didn't know, nor was he with talking to strangers but, the number that was calling him was calling from the same area code Levi had and so, he assumed it was someone he did know after all.

He accepted the call, soon putting the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this Levi?" a distinctly feminine voice asked.

"This is he, who's calling?"

"I'm Annie. I think you may have seen me sometime yesterday morning? I was checking out your campaign for Student Body President."

How the _fuck_ , did this woman get a hold his phone number, and why the hell was she calling him?

"Oh, is there something you wanted to ask about my campaign or did you—"

"You're Erwin's friend, aren't you?" she asked, instantaneously making Levi's heart palpitate.

What did she want to know about Erwin? Why did she call him about, Erwin? Why was she even fucking mentioning him? What did she want from Erwin and what did she want from him?

"Erwin has a lot of friends."

"Well, yeah, I get that," she laughed, but, nothing funny happened. "but I heard you were close friends with him so, I just wanted to ask you something about him."

"You can ask him yourself, can't you?"

"I was going to but, he didn't show up."

Levi's eyebrow raised in slight confusion.

"Show up.. where?"

"He didn't show up to the party so, we ended it early. Everyone was kinda bummed out when he said he couldn't make it."

Erwin didn't go. Erwin didn't go to the party but, why? Erwin _loved_ , parties. He loved partying and drinking and being the center of attention but, he didn't go. Levi knew how badly Erwin wanted to go and how badly he wanted to get wasted but, why didn't he? Levi tried to open his mouth to say something but, Annie beat him to the punch.

"Mike told us that Erwin said he was caught up with something and that he didn't really wanna talk about it so, I wanted to know if he had a girlfriend, and if that's the reason he didn't come."

There it was again, that deep feeling in Levi's chest that made it feel like his heart was going to explode. Erwin didn't go to the party because he said he was caught up in something but, what could he possibly be caught up in? Erwin never usually did homework on his own without someone reminding him. He couldn't be out somewhere doing something without other people because just like him, he needed company and if Annie thought that Erwin had a girlfriend, other people had to have thought the same thing. Erwin didn't have a girlfriend, but Levi didn't want to say that. He didn't want everyone to know what Erwin was available for the taking because if someone did take him, Erwin wouldn't need him anymore. He wouldn't talk to him, or text him, or walk with him between classes because he'd have a girlfriend to do those things with and for and—

"You there?" Annie asked, making Levi jump.

"He's in a relationship."

"Really? With wh—"

Levi had never hung up his phone and blocked a phone number so quickly in his entire life. For some reason his heart was racing so rapidly he started to become out of breath and as he stared at his phone with wide eyes, he couldn't understand why he said that, or why he lied. Erwin didn't have a girlfriend, so why didn't he say so? He wasn't in a relationship, so why did he say he was?

Why was Levi so afraid of the possibility of not having Erwin to himself, anymore?


	8. Blond Moment

It was eating him alive. Levi hated not knowing something, he hated being in limbo or unsure or even skeptical of someone, something, or a certain situation but, here he was battling against all three. He didn't know how he felt about Erwin. He didn't know if he was his friend and if he wanted to be his friend or if he was his friend and he didn't want to be his best friend but, he did know that he didn't want to talk to him, just yet. It was terrifying to think about; knowing every single detail about someone, warts and all, and then suddenly, be wanting to know more.

With eleven years of friendship, Levi knew everything, about Erwin.

He liked working out, he liked partying, he liked sports. His favorite food was chicken, his favorite movie was Forrest Gump, and his favorite color was dark blue. He liked pepperoni and olives on his pizza. He preferred pie over cake and going to the movie theatre instead of saving money and watching it at home and he didn't have much of a sweet tooth. His coffee order no matter where he went was an iced americano on a hot day, or a regular black coffee, on cool days. If offered a sandwich, he would always ask for turkey and cheese but, cheddar cheese, because processed American cheese bothered him; and it had to be on white bread, and the bread to be toasted, and even though he insisted he didn't like mayo, without it he'd complain and then feel bad about complaining because someone making him a sandwich just because they wanted to was a blessing in itself but, these were all things that Levi knew, from knowing him. He never outwardly asked what his favorite things were, but he knew they were his favorites because Erwin Smith never changed. He was constant, and somehow his ability to be predictable yet, still manage to surprise him, scared him. It scared Levi because he didn't like to be out of control. He had to know how things were going to go and how they were going to happen and when it was going to happen and this, having his whole world topple and roll and tumble then do a backflip and leave him thinking and wondering that maybe that one time when Erwin leaned in really close to him during a study session that he really wanted to kiss him and he wasn't overthinking it and maybe when he put his arm around him he wasn't trying to swat away a fly and maybe when Erwin stares at him he's not just being weird and maybe every time Erwin brings up the treehouse it's actually because he liked what happened in the treehouse and he isn't teasing him and maybe, just maybe, Levi didn't hate him, or want to kill him, or want to be his friend.

And that horrified him.

The only way to combat his fear was to ignore it entirely, and that's what he'd done for the past week. The only way for all of this to go away was to pretend it didn't happen and pretend that what's been happening was completely normal but then, as Levi flipped his pencil in his hand and erased something on his paper, someone sat down across from him.

It was the end of the day, and Levi was simply finishing up some homework in the library before he'd head back to his dorm but as he looked up to see who had sat down at the table, less than three feet away from him; time paused.

Erwin, had sat himself down right across from him, and the moment Levi's eyes fell onto his, Erwin didn't dare look away. It was completely, and utterly silent. Levi didn't know what was going on but all he knew was that this time, he couldn't avoid him, he couldn't leave, and he couldn't run away. He stopped erasing, he stopped thinking, he stopped breathing for a moment and stared at Erwin with wide eyes and a spurring heartbeat as he watched Erwin sit his bookbag atop the table, and unzip it. He pulled out a textbook and a notebook, flipping them both open to the desired page before retrieving his earphones, plugging it into his phone, and pressing them into his ears.

Then, he cleared his throat, and started working.

Levi didn't know what was going on. He hadn't spoken to Erwin for several days, hadn't answered his calls, or text, hell, he ended their Snapchat streak and now, Erwin was sitting right here, working beside him as if nothing was wrong, and as if nothing had happened between them, but why was he—

"Some _body_ once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.." Erwin sang aloud, bopping his head along as sheer panic and terror ran throughout Levi.

"She was lookin' kinda dumb with her finger an' her thumb in the shape, of an 'L', on her forehead.." he continued, causing the heads of other students around to turn around, and stare at Levi.

Oh no. No. Please no. They were in a fucking library, people were trying to concentrate, and Erwin was in here fucking screaming All Star _now_ , of all times? Levi got it, he was an asshole, he knew he was, but he couldn't take the attention, he couldn't take the eyes. It wasn't long before his face lit up and his cheeks reddened and his heart began to pump and now, Erwin was simply tapping his foot to the groove.

"Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin'," the librarian tried to intervene, shushing Erwin _very_ , loudly, as now, Levi feared for the rest of his college career. "fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin', didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb, so much to do so much to see so what's wrong with takin' the backstreets."

This was it, he'd die.

Levi knew the song, he knew the song because it came from a movie he and Erwin watched a lot when they were younger and frankly, there wasn't a single person who _didn't_ , know the song but now, Levi wished and prayed he's fucking stop.

"You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow," Erwin took a deep breath, preparing for the chorus as now, he screamed it.

"Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go, play! Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is g—"

" _Erwin_." Levi whisper yelled, and as Erwin looked up, he couldn't tell whether or not if Levi was in physical pain, or embarrassed.

"Who, me?" Erwin asked, pointing to his chest as Levi's eyebrows furrowed. His voice at full volume and as the librarian shushed them yet again, Levi didn't think she'd do it a third time. She'd call security, without a doubt.

"Yes _you_ , you fucking idiot!" he stressed in an almost inaudible voice.

"Oh, hey, you like this song?" Erwin asked, very, very, loudly with a smile on his face.

Levi had enough. He couldn't bear it anymore. Everyone was looking at them. Everyone was looking at _him_. His face felt as if it were melting off and he had to get out and get out now but not, without beating the shit out of Erwin. He stood up, yanking Erwin's earbuds out before taking hold of his wrist and dragging him out of the library. Erwin wasn't a fucking kid and Levi wasn't his fucking parent so what the _fuck_ , was he doing back there? Was he trying to get them both expelled, is that it?

Levi pulled him all the way out of the library, standing just outside the entry doors before letting go of him, and immediately hitting his arm.

"What the _hell_ was that about? And don't play fucking stupid, I'm sick of it. You know exactly what you fucking did. What the fuck is wrong with you? People come here to study in a quiet place and you barge in, with your loud ass, and start singing. Do you have any fucking decency? Or even respect for yourself as a person? You're nineteen, Erwin, act like it. I don't care if you're an athlete, people put you on a high enough fucking horse as it is. You could be President of the United-fucking-States, but you don't do shit like that. I can't fucking believe this. What's the matter with you? You don't get what you want so what, you go throw a fit, like a fucking child? Are you that fucking mental? You really took time out of your fucking day, to come here, and act a fucking fool, and now you're standing here as if _I'm_ , the crazy one? Are you serious?"

Levi went on, and on, and on, scolding Erwin outside of the library doors as those inside the library watched but, couldn't hear. It was nearly soundproof inside the library, and every onlooker watched as Levi exploded; his voice was muffled but, it wasn't hard to tell he was yelling. His arms were flailing, then crossing, then shoving Erwin, then hitting Erwin, then waving. His mouth was never closed, he was spitting out words and syllables like rapid-fire and all did Erwin stand there and take it but, he didn't look at all affected.

His eyes were locked onto Levi as he blew up, and he never looked away. He hadn't heard his voice in what felt like years and even though Levi was abusing him both physically and verbally, he didn't care. Levi was talking to him, that's all he wanted. That was his goal, and it worked. He didn't care if Levi was even more upset with him if he already was.

"Is there _anything_ , you have to say for yourself, anything at all?" Levi panted, huffing as he crossed his arms, and shifted his weight to one side as his hip jutted out; the same exact way he did eleven years ago when he'd confronted him about holding up the line to the water-fountain but this time, Erwin didn't argue back. He knew he was in the wrong.

He reached into his pocket, pulling something out as Levi watched, only to be presented with a single box of fruit punch.

He didn't want to take it. He wanted to be mad. Every fiber in his being wanted to open it and pour it all over Erwin and make him walk home in a sticky, sugary mess and yet, the hand that now offered him the beverage was the same hand that had always, done it. Erwin was standing in front of him, using juice as a form as apology when.. he didn't do anything wrong. Levi had neglected him, is all, and sometimes he forgot how much a puppy Erwin could be and soon, he figured that none of this would've happened had he just, not ignored him.

He needed to talk to Erwin soon, and really, talk to him. But right now, he was parched from all that shouting.

He stole the juice box from his hand before storming off, and back into the library.

"Stay here, I'll get our stuff," Levi grumbled.


	9. The Boy I Have A Crush On

Levi was still upset about Erwin publicly making him look bad, and so, he ignored him again, but he didn't plan on keeping it that way. He wanted to talk to Erwin, and talk about everything. He wanted to talk about the things they should've talked about. He wanted to talk about why he was upset, why he hadn't made any effort to communicate with him and, why he was so afraid of talking about what happened last summer. After leaving the library, Erwin told him he had football practice and that he'd be willing to walk Levi back to his dorm but, Levi didn't want Erwin to be late and so, he went along.

It wasn't his first time going to Erwin's practices. He always went to his games even though he said he didn't or said didn't care to watch men throwing other men across the field but, he always went, and he always watched him play.

Watching Erwin play was an out of this world experience, somehow.

Erwin struggled with many things, in life. English was one of them, arriving to someplace on time was another, refraining from underage drinking and partaking in what should be illegal drugs were others but football? Football was like clockwork. He knew football like he knew the back of his hand, and the very second that ball was in between his palms, something sparked in him. He remembered a time where he asked Erwin about the basics of football. It was years ago, and he was only slightly interested in it having seen Erwin play so much and having their families meet up to watch him play as well and so, he wanted to understand, really. And yet, rather than explaining it, Erwin smiled at him and said:

_I get the ball and run with it, and no one has stopped me yet._

Levi, being a very logical person, asked; _What'll you do if someone does, stop you?_

 _I don't think it's a matter of if, but maybe when. And when someone does stop me, I might actually start playing_ , said sixteen-year-old Erwin.

Levi remembered being confused and looking back, he had every right to be. Erwin was good at football and he knew he was good at it but, what did he mean by he may actually start playing? Was he not trying his hardest? Was he just constantly up against teams that could be defeated too easily? And if that was the case, why did he play a sport he no longer found fun when he was just as good at so many others?

Levi sat in the stands of the stadium as he had been for an hour or so, watching as the football team was drilled, lapped, and exercised without pause, or stop. And Erwin.. wouldn't stop. In fact, he didn't seem tired. At every blow of the whistle, Erwin sprang onto his feet, and ran. At every 'hut', he jumped into action, and did what he had to do so perfectly it seemed mechanical. With every bead of sweat that fell from his nose, he pushed himself harder and ran even faster and caught the ball more accurately than he had at first until finally, practice was over. Watching Erwin, Levi had learned something. Football came easy to Erwin, so easily that without knowing it, he made the rest of the team appear weak whenever he made contact with the field. He was six feet tall with massive shoulders, huge hands, and thick, strong legs. He could run, he could tackle, he could catch and he could do it over and over and over again without break.

Sitting in the stands, Levi wondered if he knew his potential, but also, if he knew that he was made for this sport.

* * *

  
"What're you guys doin' tonight?" asked Hannes.

Practice was over. All the guys had showered and changed back into regular clothing in the locker room and now, they were just sort of chatting to avoid going home so early. They were jocks, after all, they never went home after dark, they partied. It was common knowledge.

"Ain't the cheerleader's throwin' another party?" Mike asked the group.

"Yeah but, you already know it's shutting down since Blondie over here won't party with us."

Erwin was busy refilling his water bottle from the water drum, but upon hearing his name, he looked over.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Hannes's telling me you don't go to parties. This true?"

Erwin shrugged, making his way to the circle as he screwed the cap of his water bottle back on.

"It depends."

"What do you mean it depends?" Mike laughed. "What the fuck do you have goin' on?"

"Yeah, what're you doin'?" Eld jumped in, and soon, all the guys were looking at him.

Erwin Smith was the celebrity of the University of Maria. Wherever he went, that was where the parties were. That was where the beer was, where the weed was, and where the girls were so, naturally, everyone wanted to know where he was going and what he was doing.

"Probably hang out with a friend, watch a movie, I don't know," Erwin said.

"Watch a movie with a friend, he says." Reiner teased, making the boys laugh at his dirty joke as Erwin smiled.

"Nah, I'm serious,"

"Alright, c'mon then, who's the lucky lady?" Mike prodded.

"There's no lady. I'm hanging out with Levi." Erwin said as if it were obvious, and now, Reiner's eyebrow raised.

"You're tellin' me, you're gonna spend a _Friday_ night, watching a movie with another dude?"

"Yeah," Erwin shrugged again, snickering. "He's my best friend, somethin' wrong with that?"

"Okay dude, relax, I didn't know you were a f*ggot." Reiner laughed, however, all eyes shifted from Erwin, over to him, and no one was laughing, and Erwin wasn't smiling anymore.

"What did you say?" Erwin asked him, carefully, and slowly, and loud enough for Reiner and everyone else to hear clearly.

"I said I didn't know you were into men, what did you—"

"No, what did you call me?"

Reiner stared at Erwin for a moment. Was he, _actually_ , getting worked about it? Could he not take a fucking joke or did he not get it?

"A gay kid, you know, a f*g," he said again, without a care in the world as now, the entire rest of the time sensed a sort of tension that hadn't been in the air before that word left Reiner's mouth.

"Say it again." Erwin threatened, immediately dropping his water bottle and his sports bag to the ground before taking a step closer to Reiner. "I fucking dare you."

"Hey hey hey, " Mike put an arm out between them, "He made a bad joke, alright? A really fucked up one so let's all just—"

"Why the fuck are you stepping up to me? You wanna fight or something? Are you deadass?" Reiner asked him.

"No, I'll do more than that. I'll be sure to break your _fucking_ jaw bitch."

"What'd you just call me?" Reiner stepped closer, Bertholdt and Hannes now trying to talk both men down but neither of them were listening, or looking anywhere else but at each other.

"You heard me, you heard me loud and clear you—"

"Call me that again, f*ggot."

Levi was in the stands waiting for Erwin to walk over but now, something else was going on, and Levi's eyes went wide. Erwin _swung_ , at someone. He was on top of one of his teammates throwing jab after punch into his face and even though the surrounding men tried to pry Erwin off, he wouldn't move. They were all yelling, they were all shouting, and all Levi could see was Erwin slamming a man's skull into the turf over, and over, and over again, and Levi had never been so frightened. He'd never seen Erwin like this. He'd never seen Erwin physically hurt someone before but somehow, he knew this was bad. He was going to kill him. Erwin was going to kill whoever that was on the ground but then, Erwin's Coach appeared from the locker room; and with one blow of the whistle, both men pushed off of each other. Levi didn't know what their Coach was yelling but, he knew he was upset. He got up to Erwin's face, screaming in his ear and it was easy to see that with the glare in his eye that he still wasn't done. Erwin stared at the man he'd nearly murdered, his chest lifting and falling as he panted with clenched and bloodied fists but the moment his Coach clapped in his face to get his attention, Erwin shoved him off too, and now, he was storming out. He'd left his sports bag and his water bottle on the field, and though his Coach screamed and shouted behind him, Erwin didn't stop.

Levi didn't know what happened but, he knew he needed to get down there.

He stood up, climbing over the seats and down the stands as he followed and chased Erwin right out of the stadium. He was directly on him, and though he called out to him, his pace never slowed. He had no choice but to run after him, and the minute he reached out and held onto his wrist, Erwin whipped around so quickly that, for a moment, he thought Erwin would hit him too.

"What happened out there? Why were you—"

"Why don't you go back there and go fucking find out?"

Something definitely happened out there. Erwin never cursed in front of Levi, not when he was tired, not when he was drunk, not when he was high but now, he was swearing at him, and Levi knew something was wrong.

"What's gotten into you?"

"What's gotten into _me_?" Erwin turned around, revealing a busted lower lip that still bled as he pressed a finger deep into his chest, taking two steps towards Levi, "You're asking what's gotten into me, of all people?"

"Yes!" Levi shouted. "You tried to kill your own fucking teammate and then you stomp out like a fucking madman and you're scaring me, Erwin! Should I not be fucking concerned? Should I not fucking care about—"

"No, you shouldn't fucking care because you never cared." Erwin didn't yell but, he said it so strongly and profoundly that Levi had no choice but to shut up, and look at him.

"You really want to know what's gotten into me, Levi, because it's _you_ ," he answered. "Do you have any _fucking_ idea, what you do to me?"

Levi stared up at Erwin, he searched his eyes for some sort of clue and though he wanted to say something, his constricting throat and dry mouth wouldn't allow him. Why was Erwin looking at him, like that? Why did it look like Erwin was hurting? Why did Levi feel terrible.. all of a sudden?

"You're the one who made me feel like this. _You_ , did this, and no one else. You made me feel like someone, and like I'm something and then you made me feel like I mattered, like I've always mattered to you. You made me feel like maybe you choose me or maybe you liked me or maybe you _wanted_ , me and you made me feel like there was a chance where I had you, and you had me, and we had _something_."

"What.. Wh-What are you talking about..?"

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm telling the truth, Erwin, I don't know—"

"Why don't you let me get close to you, Levi?" Erwin stopped him, looking nowhere else but back and forth between Levi's eyes as Levi looked up, and into Erwin's.

Levi wanted to say something but, he didn't want to, at the same time. He knew what Erwin was talking about, and though he fought himself and made it seem like he didn't, he knew exactly what Erwin was talking about, and it made shivers run through him.

"Why do you lead me on?" he asked again. "Why do you make me feel some type of way and then avoid me, and stop answering my texts? Why do you wait until things get good, real good, and then find some reason to hate me for and then start ignoring me and pretending like I _never_ , existed? Why do you disappear every-single-fucking time you figure out that maybe, just maybe, I want to be more, than your friend?"

Levi didn't want to talk about it. Not now. Not here. Not like this. He didn't want to bring this conversation up and yet he knew that he couldn't change the subject this time. He couldn't get around it even if he tried, and somehow the sight of Erwin's blue, oceanic eyes fill with water made his eyes burn like wildfire.

"Erwin, I-I—"

"Why don't we talk about what happened last summer?"

"Erwin, please, we should talk about this somewhere else when—"

"We don't talk about what happened in the treehouse because you kissed me, and I kissed you back." he stated, "Was it because I did something wrong, is that why you never want to talk about it? Did you forget how you felt? Did you regret it, and want to take it back? Was it because I too much or too little or was it because you decided you didn't like me after all, and so, instead of telling me you decided to run with it because it was all some kind of joke, to you?"

 _Say something_ , is what Levi thought. _Say something. Say he's wrong. Tell him you liked it. Tell him you still like him. Tell him you liked what happened in the treehouse but didn't want to talk about it because you were afraid you'd lose him, in the end. Tell him you can't live without him. Tell him you need him. Tell him you wanted to kiss him. Tell him it wasn't a joke. Tell him he didn't do anything wrong and that you never forgot how you felt and that you didn't regret it. Tell him. Please tell him. Tell him before he_ —

Levi watched as Erwin's lip curled into a painfully, twisted smile. He smiled down at Levi, nodding and comprehending, while a tear fell down from his eye, glided down his cheek, and fell from his jaw, and plummeted to the ground. Levi could do nothing but watch as he cried, and Erwin understood. He'd always been the punchline in jokes and the center of humiliation, for Levi, so, he got it. He understood it this time, and he didn't need Levi's courteous tutoring.

"You could've lied to me, and said no, but, I guess I asked you a question you don't have an honest answer to," said Erwin, and as he blinked, Erwin turned around.

He walked off at a slower pace than he was before, and though Levi's heart wanted to yell the very thing he'd wish he'd said, he was stuck within his own inner conflict. He stood there and watched with shaking knees, quivering lips, and tears rushing down his face as the only man he really, truly, cared about, walked away from him and now, there was only one thing floating in his mind; tormenting him with every step Erwin took as he walked further and further away from him, and vanished from his eyesight.

Erwin was in love with him, and he broke him.


	10. Symptoms of Love

It made no sense to try to call him, text him, or even talk to him. It made no sense to try and reconcile whatever it was they may or may not have had left because Levi messed up, and there was never an hour or a minute or even a second that went by without him thinking about how badly he hurt his best friend, or at least, the man who used to be his best friend. His face had been etched into Levi's head, and he could think about him and only him. Erwin smiled, at him. He smiled at him even though it hurt and Levi didn't think that was something he'd ever forgive himself for because Erwin didn't deserve that. He _never_ , deserved that, but not once did Levi stop and ask himself how Erwin felt. There was never a time where he asked himself what Erwin was thinking, what Erwin was feeling, what Erwin wanted, and if Erwin was trying to tell him something through his actions but most of all, Levi couldn't understand why he couldn't tell him.

He wanted to tell him. 

Erwin was standing right in front of him and Levi felt the urge to spit it out and tell him everything and yet, he didn't, and instead, he watched his heart break. He could've told him that he wasn't crazy and that what he was feeling, he felt too, and that rather than embracing it, Levi ignored it, and pretended that the way he felt around Erwin wasn't real and in that, he forgot Erwin, was real. Levi's intention was never to hurt him and yet, the words that came spewing out of Erwin's mouth made more sense than whatever Levi's reasonings were. He toyed with him, played with him, pulled him closer and then cut him off when things were getting a little too friendly and never let him take one step forward without taking several steps back. He knew Erwin liked him and refused to see it. He knew Erwin liked him more than the way he wanted him to but, the worst thing about it was that it wasn't one-sided, and that Levi liked him just the same, but refused to believe it.

It was weird, really.

Texting someone knowing that it wouldn't be replied to, calling someone even though it wouldn't go through, hoping and wishing and praying even though it was impossible because the truth of the matter was that, they were strangers, now, and it was bizarre. It's bizarre how two people can go from laughing together, studying together, walking together, eating together, sharing a childhood together, and staying up all night facetiming and do nothing but talk, and talk a lot, and about everything and then waking up and doing it all over again the next day but now, Erwin and Levi didn't know each other, and those things were foreign to them.

It made Levi sick to his stomach to think about it but, maybe Erwin was better off, without him. All Levi had done was torment him, and hurt him, and punish him even though he did nothing deserving of punishment.

Erwin had always been sweet to him.

He was always his shoulder to cry on. He was always his punching bag. He always drove him home or walked him home or accompanied him in doing anything that involved darkness because Levi confessed that he was afraid of the dark when he was twelve, and ever since then, Erwin made sure he was never alone, in the dark. 

In 2nd grade, Erwin gave him a box of his fruit punch. In 3rd grade, Erwin gave him his favorite toy car to play with at recess. In 4th, 5th, and 6th grade, Erwin made sure he was never picked on over his height or the fact that he looked like a girl. In 7th and 8th grade, Erwin introduced Levi with his friends and let him sit with them at lunch so that Levi wouldn't feel left out. In 9th, 10th, and 11th grade, Erwin took him to Homecoming. And last summer, their Senior Year, Erwin took him to Prom.

Everything that Erwin has ever done, he did for him, and Levi knew. The very reason Levi survived middle school without being bullied was because he had Erwin. Everyone knew he and Erwin were best friends, and everyone knew that Erwin was Captain of the football team, and picking a fight with Levi was picking a fight with Erwin and _no one_ , wanted to fight Erwin. Levi floated through his entire academic career not having to experience the many things various other teenagers go through on a day-to-day basis because he had Erwin. There was never an awkward first day of school because no matter what, he'd have Erwin. There was never an embarrassing partner-assignment, because no matter what, he'd have Erwin. He was never the last one picked on a gym team, he was never eating alone at lunch, he was never that one kid who didn't have as many Valentines as everyone else, he was never outcasted, he was never deemed a nerd, he was never called a homophobic slur despite being fully out because he had _Erwin_.

Mike told him about the situation, and though Erwin protected him all his life, the one time Erwin needed protecting, Levi was unable to provide it. Levi couldn't protect him, but it wasn't the first time he failed. He failed Erwin a countless number of times before he'd lost him and so, being alone right now felt deserved, and if anything, he had time to think, and really think.

He was never mad at Erwin.

It was Annie that bothered him. She'd approached him so easily and gained his attention so quickly that it made Levi feel threatened, so threatened he was willing to say anything to keep her away from him because he ignored his own truth that he wanted Erwin to be his.

He kissed him that day for a reason.

He kissed him because, in that moment, it struck him that he didn't want to just be someone Erwin could trust, appreciate, or hang out with. He wanted to be someone Erwin could rely on, confide in, lean on, and fall in love with. He kissed him because he liked him. He slid his hands up his shirt and felt at the toned flesh beneath his skin because he wanted to touch him. He sat in his lap, untangling the drawstring of his sweatpants as their lips locked in the ninety-degree weather of their treehouse not because it was hot, but because he needed him, and wanted him, and wanted to establish something far deeper inside of himself, however, he let himself think that the things he felt after that was a result of how hot it was that day, somehow.

Levi hadn't been going to class. He made up an excuse that was sick with some bug and his professors happily emailed him any and all assignments he so needed but really, Levi just didn't want to leave his dorm. He couldn't risk running to Erwin. He couldn't risk seeing him, glancing at him, or hearing him because he knew if that moment should come, he'd crumble. He didn't want to be reminded that he hurt him. He didn't want to be reminded that he broke him. He didn't want to be reminded of just how selfish he really was.

But at the same time, he never yearned for a box of fruit punch and a pack of Skittles so badly in his life.


	11. Momma's Boy

Normally, for being involved in a fight like that, Erwin would've been hauled away by campus security and held in some detention center. Only, Erwin was their University's Fullback, not only did he represent the school as a whole, but he had to be present on the field at all times no matter what and so, he got away with it. His mother was notified of his violence however, and despite receiving a very diminishing phone call from his mother, Erwin was glad to be home this Christmas. These last couple of months have been moving so slowly and Erwin wanted nothing more to escape, and go back home, and go someplace he knew, and someplace he could be loved.

He'd been home for almost two weeks, and every day, for the past fourteen days, he woke up to pancakes instead of a protein shake, sandwiches instead of cupped noodles, and steak, instead of pizza, tacos, or hamburgers and it was impossible for Erwin to get tired of it. He could play all the video games he wanted, have someone else do his laundry, and make his bed but, he never took it for granted.

After all, his mother was all he had.

It was explained to him at a fairly young age that when his mother had him, she too was very young, and upon discovering that his mother was pregnant with him at such an age, his father wanted no part of it, or anything to do with him. Erwin used to think that his father didn't want him or maybe, didn't love him but, his mother always told him that his father said he just wasn't able to provide for them properly back then.

Only, that was nineteen years ago, and Erwin's mother was thirty-three, and Erwin's father still hadn't made any effort to get in contact with them.

It wasn't a funny or laughable story but, Erwin always made fun of his mother for getting knocked up at the age she did, and somehow, they made it a reoccurring joke between them. He was close to his mother, very close, in fact. There wasn't a single thing he couldn't tell her or ask her, no matter what the topic was. She taught him how to shave, how to tie a tie, what puberty was and eventually what sex was and how to practice it safely so that he didn't end up in the situation she did when she was younger. She filled the void of having a fatherly figure better than any other man could and Erwin loved her in more ways she could imagine.

"There you go honey," Louisa said, setting a tall stack of five blueberry pancakes soaked in pancake syrup in front of her big baby, and kissing his cheek. "You want apple or orange juice?" she asked, Erwin already lifting his knife and fork as he began to dig in.

"Apple," Erwin said, his mother retrieving a glass from a nearby cabinet before opening the fridge, getting the bottle of juice, and pouring Erwin a glass.

She set it down onto the corner his placemat, soon going back to finish brewing her cup of coffee as she herself never had that much of an appetite in the morning, but Erwin did, so, she assumed it was one of the many things he retained from his father. 

She sat down next to him, refolding her robe before crossing one of her legs over the other and hugging her mug of hot coffee with two hands before taking a sip, and watching Erwin. A mother could always tell when something was wrong with her child and something was very wrong with Erwin. He didn't seem like himself. Initially, she'd thought it was because he'd grown older and that he was now a college student and so, he was maturing some more but, this was different. He was taller, and wider, and overall bigger in comparison to the size he was when he moved out but, he wasn't Erwin. He wasn't cracking jokes, or talking too much, or singing in the shower, and it made her wonder what in the world happened.

"You still haven't texted me your Christmas list, you know," she commented, Erwin chewing the gigantic mass of food in his mouth before swallowing.

"I don't really want anything."

"I thought you wanted a new TV, to take with you to college."

"The one I have is fine."

"Erwin," she said, in a tone that meant something along the lines of 'cut the crap and tell me what's going on and don't test me'.

"I really don't anything Ma," Erwin told her, looking at her as he shoved more of his mother's specialty pancakes into his mouth.

Louisa wasn't falling for it. Something changed in Erwin and she knew it, and when she wanted to know something, she wasn't afraid to ask about it.

"Did you lose your virginity?" she asked, promptly making Erwin choke on his food as he hacked and coughed to no end. "I'm only asking because you're acting so different."

"No," Erwin coughed again, having successfully cleared his throat as he gave her a slight smile. "I'm still innocent, don't worry."

"You? Innocent?"

"Uh-huh." Erwin nodded, continuing to eat.

"As if."

"Even if I wasn't, I certainly lasted longer than you." he shrugged, sipping his apple juice as Louisa gave him a playful shove that made them both laugh.

"Don't be rude, I'm your mother for crying out loud." she pinched his ear, earning an even wider grin from her son. "But, still, anything happen that I should know about?"

Erwin shook his head.

"Football, college courses, stress.." she listed, Erwin still shaking his head as he sawed into another pancake as a blueberry gushed, and flooded his plate.

"Levi?" she asked him, making Erwin pause for a second, and upon seeing his reaction, she knew something had happened between the two of them.

Louisa knew that he and Levi had been the best of friends since 2nd grade. She was friends with Levi's mother and father and she had been for the past eleven years. She was given the responsibility of hosting their sleepovers, taking them both to amusement parks, buying them both their first bicycles and so, in a way, Levi was like her second son. She knew how bright Levi was. She knew how uptight he could be and how adamant he could become but more predominately, she knew that Erwin liked Levi in a way that was outside of just friends. Erwin had told her that he liked Levi in a more romantic way almost six years ago. What bothered her wasn't that he was interested in men but rather, he insisted on having Levi make the first move no matter what. She explained the danger in that, explained that waiting for Levi to do something he doesn't expect that he wants him to do may end up hurting the both of them but, still, Erwin waited, and she didn't know why. Louisa didn't know Erwin to be afraid of rejection, or fear. He always picked himself up from a fall or brushed himself off from a tumble and either way, he was back up on his toes and ready to go again though with Levi, things were different, somehow.

"You didn't tell him yet?" she asked him, and instead of saying anything, Erwin pushed his food around his plate, and it was rare for him to lose his appetite. 

"What happened? Tell me."

"We just don't talk anymore," said Erwin.

"You're gonna have to give me more than that."

"But it's the truth," he looked up from his plate. "we.. had an argument and so, we stopped talking," he said, Louisa setting down her mug before folding her arms, and listening.

"You've had hundreds of arguments, thousands maybe. What made this one so different that you two stopped talking?"

Erwin couldn't tell her. He couldn't say. He and Levi made a promise a long time ago not to talk about what happened in the treehouse. It was an old promise reaching back to when before either of them hit double digits and they swore that whatever was said within those walls, would stay there, and Erwin planned to honor that even though he couldn't put a title on what they were anymore.

"We just don't talk anymore, Ma." 

Louisa wasn't going to force it out of him. Erwin would call him within the next week or so and tell her without a doubt. He could never really handle his emotions on his own and so, he always needed someone to talk to him about them, and she was patient. He would come to her when he needed to but now, she got up with a sigh. She cupped Erwin's cheek, caressing it before leaning in, pressing a kiss onto his forehead, and lifting his now empty glass of juice in favor of refilling it.

The first time she'd experienced hurt was with Erwin's father, she just hoped that Erwin would handle it in a better way she had.


	12. Earthquake

"Levi, it's starting!" Petra yelled from her bedroom as she sat on her mattress with her legs crisscrossed.

Levi was in the kitchen pouring freshly popped popcorn into a bowl, preparing a snack for both him and Petra to munch on. It wasn't too hard for Levi to sneak into the women's dormitory, especially since Petra's roommate was out elsewhere but now, as Levi rushed to Petra's bedroom and sat down, he glued his eyes to the TV screen.

"Did I miss anything?" Levi asked, both of them dressed in their pajamas as Petra shook her head, taking a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

"No, they just started introducing the players a while ago," she informed him as Levi nodded, and he too stole a few kernels.

Petra and Levi were both sat down with their fingers busy eating buttery popcorn. It was a chilly Saturday night but, it wasn't an ordinary night. Tonight was the last game of football season, and tonight was the game that all NFL agents and team-owners would watch in the comfort of their homes and see which player interested them enough to draft them in the near future, and further their career as a professional athlete. Being part of the winning team practically scored a spot in the big league, but losing was detrimental. To the men on the field, this wasn't just a game. It was a game that would shape their lives and determine how they'd live, how big their check was, and what they wore and what they ate for as long as they lived. Playing a game like tonight's game upped the ante of everything and everyone on the field as this wasn't just a win or lose scenario anymore, it was succeed or fail. Having played a sport from a young age and nearly two decades and putting all that time and energy into it just to lose and not make it was horrifying to all athletes. But as screen zoomed in to a specific man on the field, the announcer made it seem like it was just another game.

"On the field we have number twenty-five, Erwin Smith from the University of Maria," he announced, the camera watching him as he stood in a circle with his team and his coach. "Six-foot-four, two-hundred thirty-nine pounds, Fullback, and looking to be this seasons MVP with a whooping sixty-seven touchdowns. How do you think he'll perform tonight?" he asked the other commentator.

"Well I'm sure if you've ever watched Smith play you know that he is certainly a threat to anyone opposing him on the field." he joked.

"You got that right."

"I think tonight'll be a good night for him. There's a lot of people in the stands and even more watching at home and with the atmosphere I feel out here tonight, I think they'll secure another victory."

"I think you're absolutely right," he responded. "I'll be sure to follow him throughout the game and hopefully, get a post-game interview from him sometime tonight,"

The game was starting, and the group dispersed. The coin initiating which team would defend and offend had already been flipped, and the University of Maria would start off on the offense for the first quarter, and each man went to their positions.

Erwin hadn't seen the stadium this full all season. These people weren't just students. There were parents, coaches, agents, professors, children, and families, all going out of their way to watch him as they waved signs and posters in his name. People he didn't know were rooting, for him. People who he hadn't even meet were encouraging him. People whose faces were so small and unable to be recognized with how far he was, were whistling and yelling in excitement from seeing him alone, and yet, even though he was surrounded by noise, all he could hear was his breathing, and his heartbeat.

He didn't have time to think about distractions.

He needed to win tonight the same way he won other nights and based on what their Coach had told him and his team, the team they were up were no easy feat and yet, more than half their team was made up of freshmen, just like him. Erwin's team consisted of mainly second and third-years, or Sophomores and Juniors, but his adversary's team was chiefly made up of eighteen-year-olds. They were up against Trost University, and Erwin had memorized and studied every single one of his opponent's playstyles in the nights leading up to tonight, and out of the men standing across from him, only one of them posed even the slightest bit of danger, and they'd nicknamed him The Beast Titan.

Zeke Yeager; six-foot, two-hundred and twenty-seven pounds, Tight End, Safety; and infamous for his powerful tackles that _always_ , leave the victim disoriented.

Erwin had seen the clips. He dove into his opponents and cut them down like a hot knife through butter. He was a ram, almost, and he didn't stop, and it looked nearly impossible to take him down. He knocked down player, after player, after player, until every, single, man was unable to play for the rest of the game. Hitting the ground over and over and having the wind knocked out of one's lungs was something that could only be withstood so many times and taking a hit from Zeke Yeager of all people made it all the more damaging.

Coach told them not to pursue him in any way, however, they couldn't just not engage a player. He stood between the ball and the endzone, and in order to get there, they'd either have to pass him or go through him. Despite Coach having devised a strategy so they wouldn't have to engage with him, Erwin wouldn't ignore him.

He set his feet apart a little bit wider than shoulder distance, bending down, and nearly into a squat before he reached out with his gloved hand, and laid the tips of his fingers in the grass. He kept his head down, letting the beat of his heart and the inhalation and exhalation of his lungs synchronize as he calmed, and soothed, all of his anxiousness. He could feel the tension of his fellow teammates on the field. He could feel the stiffness, the awkwardness, the fear, and the nervousness and as he closed his eyes, and slowed the rate of his heart; he zeroed in on what he had to do. As the offending team, they set the pace of the game, and Erwin didn't want to lose this advantage. He'd do what he'd always done; get the ball, and run.

The minute Mike was snapped the ball; Erwin's eyes ripped open. He stood up, setting his right foot forward as he out himself in full-stride and lifted himself into a sprint.

"There he is, Smith, running past the thirty-yard line, zipping through defenders and rushing the opposite team," the announcer shouted, "he's open, waiting for the pass from Quarterback Mike Zacharius and he—"

Erwin looked back, and Mike was down.

He was down on his side, eyes squinted as he held his chest and groaned.

"Wait, what.. just.." Levi spoke to himself.

The Quarterback Sack.

Zeke had made Mike his one, and only target. Tackling the Quarterback promised three things; it wasted one of the opposing team's downs, secured them two points, and clouded the Quarterback, the main playmaker of the game's, judgment. It was pure intimidation, and as Gunther helped Mike to his feet with a pat on the shoulder, Erwin froze.

Yeager, a Safety, located the furthest away from the Quarterback charged, and threw Mike to the ground with enough force to break his ribs had he not had padding on. And Erwin was halfway across the field, with a stick up his ass. By targeting the Quarterback, _they_ , controlled the game. They could pressure Mike to make passes he didn't want to make. They could force him to try and run the ball down himself. They could make him do anything they wanted him to do as long as he dreaded the feeling of one of Zeke's merciless tackles, and they'd wear him down until he had nothing left.

Erwin figured it out. It was the same tactic they used every game, and he couldn't believe how well it worked. Mike had only been hit once but, his face already looked paler, and he looked like he wanted to vomit. At this rate, he'd be benched before the first quarter ended.

Erwin had jogged back over to his side of the field, spitting his mouthguard out momentarily as he joined the group of men surrounding Mike, and ensuring he was okay.

"You have to protect Mike," Erwin said, panting, as Gunther, Eld, Mike, Hannes, Nile, and Oluo all looked at him.

"What do you think we're doing?" Nile asked, having removed his mouthpiece too.

"You're tackling their Guards," Erwin said. "You need to be protecting Mike, don't worry about them."

"What do mean don't worry about them? If we don't tackle them they'll fuck us in the ass every time we—"

"Do you see that man?" Erwin stopped him, pointing across the field, at the raging bull preparing to charge again as each of them looked in his direction. "He will aim and tackle the Quarterback, _every_ , time. He won't let us move from the forty-yard line. He won't let us pass. He won't let the ball out of Mike's hand, and he won't stop. None of us will be able to run it, so none of us will be able to score."

And instantly, the group was silent. They too had seen the various video clips of Zeke. They knew his power and his strengths as well as his weaknesses. He couldn't catch, he couldn't pass, nor could he run. He was a human battering ram, and he was a wall of sheer force.

"Even if we ignore their Guards, and protect Mike, and somehow get the ball out, wouldn't their Corner's intercept it? None of us will be down there in time to run the ball down so how would we—"

"Give the ball to Connie."

Hannes was to quick to spit out his mouthguard.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"They'll _kill_ him," Hannes said. "If Mike gives the ball to him straight off the snap, he won't have enough time to run down the field, he'll get stuck in the crossfire and—"

" _Give_ , the ball, to Connie," Erwin said, his voice commanding and instructing to do as he said as he stared into the eye of every man who now listened to him, or dared to challenge his logic.

The atmosphere changed, again. Erwin wasn't supposed to make plays. Mike was supposed to interpret Coach's strategies into plays but, Erwin stole the reigns. No one knew what he was up to. No one knew what he planning. No one knew what was about to happen but Erwin, and he planned to keep it that way.

By obtaining the power of the Quarterback and being in control of what happened, Erwin would always know what was going on. Connie didn't know that Mike was going to snap him the ball. The other team didn't know that Mike was going to pass the ball backwards before the Running Back even began running. The entire field would be fogged with confusion and yet, the ball was snapped anyways.

Levi watched the screen intently. Mike caught the ball from Nile, and rather than the linemen pushing forward, they defended. They didn't just tackle and keep going, they stood there, creating a wall of human bodies as an obstacle that Zeke couldn't get through and as Mike tossed Connie the ball—nearly fumbling—that motherfucker ran, and ran bloody murder.

"There goes Connie Springer, running down the sidelines at full speed, followed and flanked by Erwin Smith as he fights off defenders and scores a touchdown for the University of Maria!" the commentator yelled, the crowd erupting with cheers and applause as Erwin watched the scoreboard switch in their favor.

That was what he had to do, with every down, someone else would have to take the responsibility as Quarterback so Zeke didn't know who to tackle, and as a smile appeared on Erwin's face, he figured that tonight would be a good night.

* * *

  


The score was 54-48, University of Maria. They were up by one touchdown, and it was the last fifteen minutes of the game. Connie obtained twenty-two points, Erwin got them eighteen, Mo earned them eight but, throughout the whole game, their offensive and defensive linemen were getting completely demolished and obliterated by Zeke Yeager. During the halftime break, Nile, Gunther, Eld, Hannes, Mike, and Oluo were all lined up, trying to ease their pain and bruises with the help of ice spray but, by the looks of it, they were one more hit from limping. They couldn't afford to give Trost the offense, they'd be crushed, and Erwin knew.

Only time would tell once they figured out Erwin's trick, and by then, he'd need a new one, but with ten minutes on the clock, there was only so much they could do to try and catch up.

Erwin was leaned down on one of his hands, awaiting the 'hut hut', as he shut his eyes once more, and thought. He'd run the same play once more, have the linemen stay put, Mike hands Connie the ball, guide Connie up the sideline and score. It was foolproof if they used a new person every play but, they only had so many people on the field. It worked, and brought them this far, and as Erwin opened his eyes and looked forward, his heart thudded.

He was looking at Connie.

 _Zeke_ , was looking at Connie. Before he wasn't looking at anyone but Mike but now, he was staring at no one, but him. No, no, Erwin wouldn't overreact. It was a bluff. He'd been trying to tackle the Quarterback all game, why would he give up and come after the Running Back? Connie was too fast for him, he couldn't tackle him even if he tried.

Nile snapped the ball, and Erwin was off. He looked back as he jogged, as everything went according to plan. The linemen kept the defenders on defense, Mike handed Connie the ball, Connie came in hot with the ball neatly tucked under his armpit and—

" _Oh_!" the announcer exclaimed. "Aggressive takedown by Zeke Jeager, taking down Erwin Smith with one foul blow, and ripping through Springer! That's gotta hurt!"

It happened. Levi watched with wide eyes, as Erwin laid there, flat on his back, with his arms out. He hit the ground, and he hit the ground hard. The broadcaster did the honors of replaying it again, in slow-motion, just so what really happened could be seen, and it felt like someone was squeezing the life out his heart. Erwin was jogging forwards but, his head was looking in the other direction. Zeke had snuck up Erwin from behind, lowering his head and hammering him with full force as he shoved him into the grass, as he made sure that Erwin stay there, and never get up.

His vision had gone blurry. His ears were ringing, he couldn't feel a thing from the chin down and all he could hear was the distant, fuzzy, and faraway sound of the thousands of people around him. He breathed heavily, looking up and at the starry sky and as he gazed, Mike appeared into his peripherals. He was talking. He couldn't hear or understand what he was saying but, he was talking, and he held out a helping hand. Erwin reached out and took it, feeling Mike lift him up and to his feet as he slapped his helmet to make sure everything was alright in there as he was brought back into the game.

"You good?" Mike asked him, regaining his own breath as Erwin blinked, and nodded.

"Hey, say something," Mike told him, and low and behold, something inside Erwin sparked.

He took his mouthpiece out, and the look on Erwin's face was something Mike think he would ever be able to forget. He was smiling. He smiling with teeth, and he'd never seen Erwin look so happy before. His eyes glimmered, his eyes were wide with excitement and adrenaline and Mike could see it.

"I've never been better," said Erwin, sliding his mouthguard back in as he jogged back to the center of the field leaving Mike absolutely dazed even though he wasn't the one who got tackled.

Mike had to feel the wrath of that guy nearly ten times throughout the game. His body was sore in places he didn't think he could become sore in but, after just one hit, Erwin got up, brushed it off, and grinned at him as if it was nothing. As if he liked it. As if it turned him on and he wanted more.

Crack. He must've been on crack.

Someone got him. _Finally_ , someone got him. He was outsmarted. He was figured out. He was knocked down and he didn't see it coming and now, Erwin could fucking play. He lined up as he usually did, but as Mike looked back at him, he gave a nod. They were going back to their normal play, their usual routine, their usual strategy. It was the play that always worked, the play that could never be stopped, the play that could never be escaped or intercepted.

And that play was called, 'Give Erwin Smith the ball'.

They had five minutes left. _This_ , would be the final play of the game. They were in the lead. They already won. They had it all. All Erwin had to do was run the ball, and end it, and this time, when Mike was in the possession of the ball, he looked at him, showing him the palms of his hands as he ran, making an oval with his fingers, signaling that he was open. Mike raised his arm, aimed, and let the ball spiral out of his hands, and slide perfectly, into Erwin's grasp.

"Immaculate pass by Zacharius there," the commentator narrated. "Now we're looking at Smith, making a fast break between two linebackers and flying down the field!"

Erwin kept going. He didn't stop, he didn't slow, he didn't even look back. There was one man behind him, and two to his left and neither of them were trying to tackle him. He knew exactly where they were trying to lead him, and that only made him run faster.

"Pushing past both Cornerback's, refusing to give them even the slightest chance! But here comes Yeager! Coming in full force in Smith's direction—Smith avoiding the Safety with a spin, yards away from the Endzone! Zeager rising up directly in his path, staying between Smith and the Endzone and—!"

A wave rippled through the crowd; the people standing and jumping and cheering and screaming without pause, as Erwin brought the ball into the Endzone.

"Erwin Smith, pushing through the mighty Zeke Yeager, and winning tonight's game, with a spectacular finish. What a play!"

And he didn't lie. Erwin was forced to run into him. He had nowhere else to go, nowhere else to turn, nowhere else to throw to or pass to and so, he had no choice to run through him, and he did just that.

"Wow, what a game by the University of Maria tonight. It's not every day you see such a passionate, and well-played game like the one we've just seen, folks. I think I can say, undeniably, that they deserved this win, and deserved this victory, and that—"

"Hold on a minute, looks like they're having some trouble on the field." the other man interrupted him before panning to the field once more.

Levi sat alone in Petra's bed, Petra was only a yell away, in the kitchen making some more popcorn. Levi watched in confusion, the whole team was surrounding Erwin but, something wasn't right. Weren't they supposed to lift him up on their shoulders and chant MVP? Weren't they supposed to pour their water all over him in celebration? Weren't they supposed to be making as much noise as possible? Why was Mike waving people over? Why was Hannes waving people over? Why were paramedics running onto the field? Why had the crowd quieted down?

Why wasn't Erwin _moving_?

"Petra?" Levi asked, sitting up slowly.

"Yeah?"

"Erwin's not moving," he said, his voice thick with fear as he clutched the bedsheets between his fingers.

"What?" she asked.

" _Erwin's_ , _not_ , _moving_ ," he said much, much louder.

"What do you mean he's not—"

" _Sh_!" Levi shut her up, wanting to hear what exactly had happened.

"It appears that Smith has suffered a complication during that last play. It seems as though he's unresponsive as a result of the impact of that tackle. Watching the replay now," he said, the television replaying what had happened within the last thirty seconds. "We can see Erwin running headfirst, full-tilt, making direct head-to-head contact with Yeager. I'm hearing that Yeager is stable, and suffered no consequences, however, it looks like Smith is to be lifted out of the game."

Erwin was unresponsive. Erwin was suffering from a complication. Erwin wasn't stable, and right now, there weren't enough words in the English language to even begin to describe the amount of panic that was coursing through Levi's veins.

"Oh boy, let's hope and pray that he comes out on top," the commenter said. "taking a blow like that had to be devastating, but, I can't say I have ever seen such sportsmanship from a team-player like that in all my years, he carried his team to the win."

They were carrying Erwin off of the field with a stretcher, but Levi didn't stay to watch. He threw on a jacket and ran out of the dormitory, looking for the nearest hospital on his phone.


	13. My Best Friend

Erwin was sent to St.Maria's Emergency Hospital, and upon hearing what happened in the field, the staff was quick to call and inform his mother. The University of Maria was nearly an hour drive from Erwin's home and yet, Louisa got there in half of that time. She'd been watching the game from home. She saw what happened. She saw Erwin on the ground. She saw them drag him off the field and all she waited for was the call for them to tell her _exactly_ , where her son was.

It had been two hours since Erwin was hit, and the hospital had never been so crowded.

The waiting room was full; Erwin's entire team sat there, still dressed in their jerseys, cleats, and padding, with their helmet in their hands and their faces sticky with a mixture of dirt, sweat, and eye black. None of them, had gotten an update on Erwin. No one knew anything. No one knew what was happening or what was going on and sitting alongside all those men sat Levi, gnawing at his nails, bouncing his leg, and unable to sit still. He didn't understand what was taking them so long. He didn't understand what was holding them up. He wanted to know what happened. He wanted to know Erwin's condition. He wanted to know if he was okay. He wanted to see him, and know deep down that he really was okay. Somehow, Levi couldn't help but feel like he caused this. Like he did this. Like he was the reason Erwin was laying in a hospital bed, right now, and like he was part of the reason why Erwin was hurting. He could've went to his game physically. He could've been there. He could've done something. He could've been at Erwin's side the same way Erwin had always been for him but instead, he went over to Petra's, because he didn't want to risk the nearly impossible chance of Erwin spotting him, and in that, he failed Erwin, again.

The waiting room the silent.

Everyone sat with their heads down and their eyes closed, wishing and praying for the health and safety of their Fullback. It was easy to see that Erwin had been concussed, but that wasn't what they were worried about. Getting hit in the head a few times was nothing, but, the possible long term effects weren't. The mental illnesses and disabilities stemming from a concussion, especially one was brutal as the one Erwin suffered, were damaging. Damaging enough to make a Star-Athlete such as Erwin, quit football forever, and never be able to play the way they used to, and they all heard the stories. Concussions made guys like them see things that weren't really there, hear things that weren't really being said, trick their minds into thinking that doing this or doing that was the right thing to do though really, it was wrong. No one remained the same after a concussion, and that much was known considering Oluo had suffered nine minor ones and every time he came to, he came back with a little bit less of himself than he had to begin with.

With time, eventually they were all moved from the waiting room to the hallway outside of Erwin's room, condemning them to stand and wait in a torturous silence as they stared at the door Erwin laid behind. They had been moved for the simple reason that other people were coming in due to other injuries, and they couldn't have a whole bunch of athletes in the waiting area. No one favored sitting in the lobby, it was further away from Erwin and if something happened they'd have to jam into the elevator to get to him and so, they stood there, lined up against the wall, waiting, for their Fullback.

"Is he in there?" a woman's voice asked, one that made everyone look over from staring so blankly at the door, and one that Levi knew just as well as he knew Erwin's.

Louisa stood before them, looking into the eyes of those who stood in front of her son's room as they nodded. Everyone, and anyone knew Erwin, knew his mother, and everyone who played with Erwin knew her too. She was always posted all over his Instagram. She was always talked about whenever they were practicing, or scrimmaging, or just hanging out. She was always brought up and it had always been known how much Erwin loved his mother, and even though they made fun of him for it, they all knew how much his mother meant to him.

 _Everyone_ , knew Miss Smith.

And as her eyes landed on Levi's, neither of them needed to say a word. They stared at each other, Levi soon picking himself off of the wall only to walk over to her, and collapse in her arms, as Louisa held him so close and so tight there wasn't even an inch to spare between them. Levi's fingers clawed at her clothing all while she hushed and calmed Levi. The feeling they both shared was mutual, and they both knew it.

The man that they loved more than anything was hurt. 

* * *

  
"What he experienced was a very serious type of head trauma." the doctor said, standing on the one side of the bed, as Louisa and Levi stood on the other, with Erwin laying down, lifelessly, in the middle.

Levi still hadn't let go of Louisa, he stood beside her, holding her hand and clinging to her arm as she too listened. No one else was allowed to see him except for them, and Erwin's mother wanted to keep it that way. She didn't want her son's accident to be plastered all over the news.

"Labeling it as a concussion would undermine the reason as to why he's in a coma as we are unable to calculate when he'll become conscious again," she said.

"What does that mean? You're unable to calculate when he'll become conscious?" Louisa asked.

"We don't know when he'll wake out of it." she clarified with a nod.

"But he _will_ , wake out of it, right?" Levi interjected.

"Yes," she said. "however, considering the accident and the swelling of his brain, he may or may not be prone to migraines, dizziness, fainting, seizures, significant loss of memory, post-traumatic stress and—"

"Just how much, loss of memory," Levi looked at her, watching as she held her hands neatly in front of her.

"Given the amount of blunt force, impact, and damage to his skull and brain, we could be talking about anywhere between six months and six years here," she told them, making Louisa's hand fly up and cover her mouth, and Levi could feel her other hand holding his even tighter.

The doctor kept talking, and Louisa kept listening, but all Levi could do was stare at Erwin, as he laid there.

Six years.

Six years, could be stolen from him. Levi had known Erwin for eleven years, coming on twelve, and nearly half of their friendship could be stolen from him. The memory of all the Homecomings they spent together, could be stolen from him. The memory of sharing their first beer, could be stolen from him. The memory of the time they went trespassing on abandoned property, and snuck out to go to a party, and graduate together, and apply to college together, and grow together, and the kiss they shared in the treehouse, could all be stolen from him.

He would have no idea that they were close. He would have no idea that Levi knew what his deepest, darkest secrets were. He would have no idea that Levi knew he hated pineapple on pizza, and actively discriminated against anyone who enjoyed it. He would have no idea that Levi knew the passcode to his phone. He would have no idea that Levi knew he was scared of heights, despite being so goddamn tall. He would have no idea that Levi knew he was sucker for small, cute things. He would have no idea that the first time they smoked together, he let Levi turn him into a drag queen.

He would have no idea that Levi was alive.

He would have no idea that Levi existed and he didn't know how to feel.

He didn't know whether or not this was a curse or, a blessing in disguise. There was chance that Erwin would wake up, not remembering how much of a horrible human being he was, and not remembering how much he hurt him. But, there was also a chance where he couldn't remember anything past the age of twelve.

So, there was a chance of him not knowing him, at all.

Before the age of twelve, all he and Erwin did was sleep at each other's house and pour water down anthills and tell each other secrets in their treehouse.

If Erwin lost all of his memories up to six years ago, would.. he even care about that? Would Levi just be some old, long-lost friend? And even if Levi did try to befriend him all over again, would he be the same? Would he treat him the same? Would he talk to him the same way? Would he hold the door for him? Would he smile at him? Would he make him laugh? Would he piss him off?

Would he feel the same way he had about him before Levi messed things up?

The only reason why Levi choose not to pursue Erwin was because he was his best friend. He was his best friend, and in life, Levi needed a best friend, needed _him_ , to be his best friend, and nobody else, and he didn't want to lose him.

But somehow, he lost him anyway.


	14. Side-Effects

The side-effects of losing a best friend or any person of infinite value that was loved and cared for may or may not include: unhealthy coping mechanisms, changes in personality, inability to sleep and stay asleep, immense guilt, trouble with keeping up with what used to be normal routine and so, spending any and all free time crying, and trying to figure out why, but then remembering once again that this was deserved. Thinking about it never helped, but not thinking about it never worked, and so being stuck in an ongoing loop of self-resentfulness seemed like the only way to really, truly survive without breaking down on a day-to-day basis.

It had been thirty-six days.

Erwin had been in a coma for a little over a month and yet, there wasn't a single day where Levi didn't go and visit him, and talk to him, and to feed and convince the inner-demon in his soul that maybe, he didn't cause this, and he didn't put Erwin in that bed, and here's why. Every time Levi went to visit him, a new bouquet of flowers was sat beside him. A new get-well-soon card was placed beside him, and it drove him crazy. Half of the people who dropped them off didn't know Erwin. They didn't know him, not like Levi knew him, so why the fuck were they getting involved? What would a bouquet of hydrangeas fix? What would a piece of cardstock with some sort of heartfelt message in it, solve?

How would that bring Erwin back to him, exactly?

Levi knew that Erwin was very well-liked and very well-loved no matter where he went. The University of Maria was always posting updates, reminding their students and faculty to stay strong, as if their Fullback was dying and as if he'd never come back. Following this, the very man who was involved in Erwin's accident was dragged through the mud. There was never a positive comment beneath a single post concerning Zeke Yeager. They wanted him gone. They wanted him to disappear. They wanted him out of the league and with some fishing, a rumor came out saying that he may or may not have been taking illegal performance-enhancing drugs, and within five days of said rumor floating about, it was found to be true, and Zeke was shamed for it.

Truthfully, Levi didn't know if he was happy that Zeke would never play football again. He didn't know if he hated him as much as everyone else did or even disliked him. He was watching the game Erwin played that Saturday night, and it was clear that Erwin knew what he was doing. He knew that he'd run into him. He knew and he kept going. He knew and he lowered his head, and put himself in a line of danger, all to secure what, a win? A win that they would've had even if he chose _not_ , to do that? What Erwin did, he did to himself, and somehow, despite all the questions swarming around in Levi's head, he knew that was true but, he tried not to dwell on it too much because today was a good day.

Today was one of his better, days.

He had something he wanted to tell Erwin. Whenever he visited Erwin, he was sure to give him updates on things. He told him how Christmas sucked, and how his birthday sucked even more since it was the first year he was without him. He told him how he was trying to go vegan with Petra, just for shits and giggles. He told him he won Student Body President with a landslide victory and how he was sorry that he never thanked him for helping him with his campaign. He told him how much his mother missed him, and how much the guys missed him, and how much he, missed him and though Levi knew that if he talked to him he wouldn't get a reply, for some reason, he felt as if Erwin could hear him, and he walked into his hospital room with a smile on his face anyhow.

He stepped in, shutting the door behind him and listening to the quiet sound of the EKG machine beeping, and registering his heartbeats.

"Hey Blondie," he adopted the nickname that any person used if they were close enough with Erwin. "I know I'd ask you how you were but, I feel like the news I have today is gonna be _way_ , more exciting," he said, making his way over to Erwin, and standing at the side of his bed as he gazed down at him.

Erwin always looked as though he was asleep. He laid there with his eyes closed, his chest and lungs breathing in and out at a smooth, even pace as now, given the amount of time that had passed, a stubble had found it's way to Erwin's chin, and face.

"I know you already know that I wanted to become a Photographer," he said happily. "so like, the other day I went to photograph this woman because for that assignment I was told to like, capture real, raw, feminine beauty," he explained. "So that's what I did. I was there for like, an hour, maybe an hour and fifteen minutes and then, this guy comes up to me," Levi reached out to Erwin's hand, and held it, with sparkling eyes. "he comes up to me and he says I look like I oughta be in _front_ , of the camera. At first I thought it was a joke, 'cause like, I'm shy, and, you know I don't take pictures, but he went on about how I have this androgynous look—which, by the way, means, I can look like a man or a woman or something in between in the right lighting—and basically he like, signed me?" Levi asked himself even though he already knew the answer. "I know it sounds crazy but he was like, helping me take all these great photos and put together all these great pieces so that way I could make a portfolio and like, send it out to an agent or a designer so, I could get a gig. And get this," Levi squeezed Erwin's hand as he leaned in.

"I'm, a model, for fucking _Historia_ _Reiss_ ," he said with wide eyes. "Historia, _fucking_ , Reiss, and I know you don't know her but just know she's _big_ , Erwin, like really big. She called me on the phone and was telling me how much she liked my work and for a second I thought I was dreaming because, I love her work and she was here applauding me and I just—" Levi took a deep breath in, his eyes falling onto Erwin's face and once again, his spirit falling into the same place every time he spoke to Erwin, and didn't get a reply.

"I just, wish you were here.." he said, softly, this time, as he forced his mouth to curl into a smile.

Within the past twelve years Levi knew Erwin, in total, he had to have ignored him for around four of them altogether. He never knew this was what he felt like. He never knew how horrible it was until now, being able to not know what he did wrong, how he could fix it, and how long it was going to last before he'd speak to him, again.

Levi never wanted to hear his ugly laugh so badly, until now.

He wanted to hear his voice. He wanted to see his smile. He wanted to look into the eyes he knew so well and just, tell him he was wrong, and wrong about everything. It was never a joke, to Levi. He never meant to play with Erwin's feelings or, make him feel a certain way and then, ignore it, and not act on it. He never regretted the moments they shared. He never meant to lead him on. He never meant to hurt him, and disallow him the opportunity of getting close to him but now, Levi knew why he did the things he did.

He'd done those things because, falling in love, with Erwin, was so easy.

He told Erwin he hated him but really he was telling himself that he wasn't allowed to think of Erwin in the way Erwin thought of him. He told Erwin he wasn't funny but really he was telling him he shouldn't be _this_ happy around his best friend. He told Erwin he was stupid and annoying and just another stereotypical big dumb jock, and in that, he was telling himself that Erwin wasn't his type, wasn't the one he wanted, wasn't the type of man that Levi wanted to be with but then, if Erwin wasn't who Levi wanted, who did he want? Did he want someone smarter than him? Did he want someone shorter than him? Did he want someone with brown hair or glasses or braces or freckles or maybe, a lisp?

In the end, Levi discovered that he couldn't really imagine himself without Erwin. He couldn't imagine not calling him, not texting him, not laughing with him, not being idiots together. He couldn't imagine living without him, and if he couldn't live without him, well then, Erwin was the only one for him.

Levi wanted nothing more than for Erwin to wake up so that he could kiss him, again. So that he could confess to him, and hold him, and love him so much it made them both sick but, Levi had no choice but to wait.

Levi inhaled, again, fighting back his desire to just, let go, and let it all out and cry but, he wouldn't, not this time. He simply leaned down, pressing his lips onto Erwin's forehead and letting them linger there for a while before pulling back with a sniffle, and rubbing Erwin's hand with his thumb.

"I'll stay a little while longer, this time," Levi said, smiling.


	15. Love Letters

After signing out of the hospital, Levi made his way back to campus. He had a meeting to attend, a mandatory meeting with the other students involved in Student Government as they were to discuss what they would do in the upcoming month for Valentine’s Day that could possibly lift the gloomy atmosphere that had fallen on their University. 

Levi sat in a room that could hold no more than ten people, as in the past, it was said to be a storage room. He sat around a circular table along with everyone else. Their Student Government consisted of a Treasurer and Secretary but, Levi only ever cared about Mikasa. She was the Vice President, and though people liked to demean her and say the only reason she won was because people thought she and Levi were related, considering their looks and their names, she never let it get to her. She was a smart girl, and very determined, and she stuck out to Levi, to say the least.

“How about we just do what we did last year? We have the means for it.” the Treasurer said in regards to how they should celebrate Valentine’s Day.

“And what did you do last year?” Levi questioned, looking at him, as Levi could never remember his name.

“We just had a table where students could write letters of endearment to whomever they wanted and fold them in envelopes and then, on Valentine’s Day, we had someone dress up as Cupid and deliver them to the rightful recipient,” he explained. “Everyone seemed to like it last year.”

“You mean everyone who  _ received  _ a letter, liked it.” Levi pointed out. “What about people who don’t have someone, or the people who don't have a secret admirer? You plan to leave them feeling left out?” he interrogated, and though Levi posed a good question, his recent passive aggression wasn’t surprising in the slightest.

It became well-known that Levi went to visit Erwin every day, and it became even more well-known he and Erwin had been friends, and been friends for over a decade. It wasn’t difficult to imagine what Levi might have been going through given Erwin's condition, nor was it hard to think of how stressed he has been or possibly, how empty he really was. The truth of the matter was that ever since Erwin was put into a coma, Levi had changed, and not having someone who was ordinarily  _ always _ , by someone's side, could do that to a person after some time.

“So, you want everyone to get a letter?”

“Yes,” Levi said simply.

“How do you propose we find people willing to write letters for.. a stranger?” he twisted his brow. “And wouldn’t that take the purpose out of the whole thing? People come up to the table to write to someone they care about, not just to some--”

“I’ll write them.” Levi stopped him, wearing an emotionless, and unreadable expression on his face.

“What?”

“I’ll write them,” he repeated, “I mean, we’d have to scour through all the letters anyways to make sure they’re appropriate, right? So in doing that, we’d know who’s receiving a letter and who's sending them and with those demographics, we could narrow it down to the students who aren’t sending or receiving, and I’ll write to those people.” he said, and it was clear that Levi didn’t intend on settling for anything less.

He wouldn’t have anyone left out. He wouldn’t have anyone not be included. He wouldn’t have anyone feel like they weren’t appreciated, cared about, or loved, because Erwin would have made sure of that the same way Levi was now. Levi knew that there were people going through worse things than him, he knew there could be people mourning, people grieving, people dealing with a break-up, battling mental illnesses, or maybe something worse. Everyone thought of college was a phase in life that only introduced new beginnings and riveting adventures and overall, it was a place designed for people to find themselves but no one mentioned that really, it was an end to all endings. After this, there would be no mom and dad. After this, there would be no dormmate. After this, there would be no pop quizzes or frat parties or being late to a class or sitting down in a stadium to watch a Saturday night football game.

After this, was life, and more than half of the time, we’re alone, and that wasn't fair because life was unfair.

Sure, there were friends and family and people other people could turn to but, what about those people who didn’t, have that? Those people who didn’t have any loyal friends, those people who didn’t have any trusted family, those people who didn’t have anyone but themselves to turn to, were they supposed to go on without being thought about yet again, as everyone else tore open their letters?

No. Not ever. Not while Levi was Student Body President.

“Are we done?” Levi asked, looking around the room as everyone nodded, “Great. Good job then, everyone. We’ll meet again sometime next month, I’ll text the group chat.” he said, standing up and out of his seat as everyone began packing up their things in preparation to go home.

Levi moved his hair out his way, unzipping his bookbag and sliding a folder inside before zipping it closed again, and throwing his bag over his shoulder while slipping his arms through. Levi had no plan of what he wanted to do but, he didn’t want to go back to his dorm, just yet. He could call Petra, see if she wanted to hang out, or maybe, go to the library and study some more or, take a walk, if he wanted.

As everyone gathered their things, there was a knock at the door, and everyone stopped.

All the members and officers of the Student Government were already in the room. They weren’t missing anymore, and they weren’t expecting anyone to join, especially this late in the game, and as everyone looked at each other in confusion, the door opened, and a man everyone could recognize walked in.

“Could I talk to you, for a minute?” he asked quietly. He only looked at Levi. He didn’t look anywhere else but at Levi and as Levi’s heart picked up, with a single glance, everyone else besides the two of them piled out, and shut the door behind them.

Leaving Levi and Reiner alone.

“I wanted to talk to you about—”

“ _ Fuck _ , you.” Levi spat, to anyone else it would seem like he cussed at him unprovoked for no particular reason but, Levi had a reason as to why he prayed for the day to see him stop breathing, and Reiner knew that reason.

“I didn’t come here to argue with you, I’m serious. What happened to Erwin is—”

“Don’t you  _ dare _ , talk about Erwin.” he looked at him, his anger only rising as Reiner made steps closer, to him, and Levi never moved from where he stood.

“I came to apologize,” Reiner sighed.

“You’re apologizing to the wrong person.”

“I know, but, they won’t let me see him,” Reiner said, and it was true. Levi told Erwin’s mother about what happened that night Erwin got into a brawl, and he made sure to tell her what this man had called her son, and with that, he was the only person on Erwin’s team who wasn’t allowed to visit him, and Levi made goddamn sure of that.

“That has nothing to do with me.” Levi lied as he folded his arms, and Reiner knew with the look in Levi’s eyes that he wanted him out his sight, and that was fair. Reiner knew that he was a horrible person who had said some more than just horrible things to and about Erwin regarding his sexual orientation, and he couldn't take those things back. He was just disappointed in himself for only realizing how disgusting he was after Erwin had got hurt, and not before.

“I’ll leave, but,” Reiner said, soon reaching into his jacket pocket. “I wanted to let you know that since football season’s over, we had to empty out his locker. We put his gear and everything in his room but, we found this,” he told Levi, and now, Levi watched as he pulled an envelope out of his pocket.

The envelope was red, white, green, and gold, signifying something having to do with Christmas and as Reiner set it down on the table and slid it over to him, Levi could read that the envelope had his name on it, written in the gorgeous cursive handwriting Erwin spent nearly all of his teenage years to perfect just so that when he got to sign his name on his Driver’s Licence, it would be ‘badass’. And just like that, Reiner turned around and left the room.

Levi picked up the envelope, examining it slowly, and quietly, as he ran his fingers over the four letters of his name that Erwin had scripted ever so beautifully. He didn’t know what it was, or what it was about, or what was inside, but as he ripped what used to be the untouched seal of the envelope open, a piece of loose-leaf paper revealed itself. Levi reached in, taking it out of the envelope, unfolding it, and turning it so that the writing he saw was no longer upside down, and then, his heart fell to his stomach the moment his eyes landed on the two words at the top of the page.

  
  


_ Dear Levi _ , it began.

_ I'm not really good at writing, or anything having to do with letters, really, so don't be too mad about all the spelling mistakes I'm about to make. That, and normally I would just say this to you in person but, we're not on good terms right now, so I have no choice but to write this. I just wanted to say I'm sorry, for a lot of things. I didn't mean to speak to you in the way I did that night. It bothers me whenever I think about it because I don't like treating you the way I did and you and I both know I wasn't raised to treat anyone like that, and especially not you. I didn't mean to scare you, and, I didn't mean to make you feel a certain way about me that you didn't feel before. It's my fault, honestly. Everything is, and I just wanted you to know that. I wanted something that you didn't and even though I didn't mean to push it on you, I did anyways, and I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. I was angry about what happened on the field and I ended up taking it out on you for a reason I don't know and I'm sorry about that too, real sorry. I know I mess up a lot and so, I have to apologize a lot and I know that sometimes you say I shouldn’t apologize for everything but, I think I should. I blamed you for something you had no control over. It’s not your fault that I kept bringing up what happened last summer, and it’s not your fault that I got upset because you didn’t want to talk about it. I should’ve respected your decision to leave it alone, so I’m sorry for putting you in an uncomfortable spot. I miss you, a lot, and my arm feels real weird not having you pinch me all the time. I'm hoping that you'll forgive me after you read this so that maybe you can pinch me  _ _ again, but, if not, that's cool too, I'll understand. Anyways, Merry Christmas Levi. _

_ Your (Best?) Friend, Erwin. _

  
  


Levi’s hands trembled. His hands trembled and his mouth trembled and his body shook and his eyes stung and his heart shattered. Erwin wrote this, he could tell from the poor vocabulary, repetition of a certain word and improper grammar and punctuation that Erwin wrote this and as Levi’s stomach flipped, his eyes caught onto an arrow; an arrow drawn on the bottom right corner of the paper instructing Levi to flip it over and he did just that.

  
  


_ P.S: I know you told me to throw mine out but, I couldn’t. Happy Birthday, Snowflake. _

  
  


Snowflake was a childhood nickname given to him by Erwin. He called him Snowflake for the simple reason that they had a lot in common, and it suited Levi. Snowflakes were small, and fragile, and unique, and they only appeared in the wintertime but, taped to the back of the letter was something Levi never thought he’d see ever again. 

It was a piece of yarn. A piece of white yarn that had been striped with a light, and dark blue marker to make stripes, with two red beads on it, that was tied into a bracelet. A friendship, bracelet. A friendship bracelet that looked so tiny in comparison to how much they've grown, and how big Erwin's wrist was now. It was _the_ friendship bracelet Levi had given him in the second grade and to this day, Levi still knew what everything stood for. The yarn was white because they both liked snow. The stripes were blue because their favorite was blue but just in two different shades and two red beads that dangled represented both Erwin and Levi and it wasn’t until Levi stained the paper with his falling tears did he realize he was crying.

He didn’t try to stop it, he didn’t try to hold it back. He stood there, pressing the now crumpled piece of paper into his chest before crumbling himself, and falling to the floor as he sobbed with his head in his knees.  They found it in his gym locker. They found it in his gym locker around Christmas time and that could only mean that Erwin was going to give it to him. Erwin was going to give it to him that night. That Saturday night, after the game but then, he got hurt, and that thought alone _crushed_ , Levi. He was going to go see him. He was going to go talk to him. He was going to hand him the very letter that Levi had received so late and Levi cried even harder at the fact that somehow, Erwin still managed to be too fucking late, because Erwin Smith never changed.

He cared. 

Erwin still cared about him. Erwin still thought about him. Erwin still missed him and wanted to talk to him and wanted to see him despite thinking that Levi might have hated him but Levi wasn’t crying because of that. He wasn’t crying because Erwin was in a coma. He wasn’t crying because he’d received Erwin’s gift just now when it should have got it weeks ago. He wasn’t crying because he was alone. He was crying because there was hope. He was crying because Erwin wasn’t mad at him. He was crying because there was a chance. He was crying because he was happy.

He was crying because Erwin still loved him.


	16. My Heartthrob

Levi couldn’t sleep and he couldn’t sleep for the best reason possible and that reason being was that he couldn’t wait for Erwin to wake up. He couldn’t wait for Erwin to see him and for him to see Erwin and he couldn’t wait to tell him the things he should’ve told him months ago. He couldn’t wait to be with him all the time and never leave him alone. He couldn’t wait to finally fall the warming enchantment of Erwin’s love and never leave. He couldn’t wait to have him and have him to himself and share memories and share new firsts with him and the risk of him Erwin losing six months or six years of anywhere in between of his memory didn’t disconcert Levi because he didn’t care.

He didn’t care, because he’d still love him, because Erwin would still be Erwin.

If Erwin thought he was a total stranger, he’d bug him until he remembered him. If Erwin had no idea who he was, he’d make him fall in love with him. If Erwin ignored him or avoided him or refused to make any sort of contact with him, he’d barge into wherever he was, and start singing All Star, the same way Erwin had done to him. He understood why Erwin did the things he did, and he understood because he knew, deep down, in his hearts of hearts that his soulmate had been right by his side all along, and he didn’t want to waste any more time in being his, and belonging to him.

The very thought of being in a relationship, no, being in a relationship with  _ Erwin _ , was something that made Levi heart take flight.

He wanted to hold his hand. He wanted to cuddle with him. He wanted to go on dates. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to make out. He wanted to share the same bed. He wanted Erwin to be his first and then suddenly, as Levi laid awake in bed for the umpteenth time, it had dawned on him that sex, and sex between two men, wasn’t at all familiar to him at all.

Unlike other teenage boys with raging hormones, Levi never really had to deal with unwelcomed erections or even, any sort of sexual thought. He’d always been focused on studying, and getting good grades, and being better than anyone and everyone and being the very best and so, he never really explored himself as other men did. He knew in order for them to have sex, he’d be the on the receiving end but.. how? How would Erwin fit inside of him and what was it supposed to feel like and, would it be painful?

Levi couldn’t help but roll over and lay on his side as he hugged his arm around his pillow. He remembered when he’d kissed Erwin. He remembered wanting to get him out of his clothes and wanting to see him and see all of him and feel him the same way and want him between his legs and although the concept of all things intimate was unknown to him, he was able to vividly recollect what he wanted in that moment, and what he wanted then was that stiff, hardened thing beneath Erwin’s pants that he never got, but wanted now. He could remember how it felt, pressing against his thighs as he climbed into his lap. He remembered how hot Erwin’s hands were, and how as they caressed him, and snuck underneath his clothing and made him melt, and unable to think properly. He remembered his lips and how they kissed him, his tongue serving as a constant reminder of the mind-bending, earth-shattering out of body experience Erwin was able to give him and all they’d done was kiss, and feel.

He wanted Erwin to touch him. He wanted Erwin to kiss him. He wanted Erwin’s hands all over him and his mouth on every inch of him and his tongue licking every mile of his body and every crevasse of his skin and his breath in his ear and his cock so deep inside of him it hurt and it wasn’t until Levi’s mouth started salivating did he realize the growing excitement underneath the blanket, and between his legs.

He expected as much, and though he wanted Erwin more than himself, it would offer him an escape into his own imagination for a while, and he could be happy with that.

Having been best friends with so long, Levi had the benefit of being close to him. He’d seen Erwin get dressed and undressed given that they were both men and they slept at each other’s houses often and though he never saw what he really wanted to see, the broad muscles that Erwin gained were enough to make him swelter. Erwin was sculpted from head to toe, and as Levi tossed his blanket aside in favor of lifting his shirt, and fishing his hand down, and into his undergarments, he shut his eyes as he brought the image of Erwin’s flexing, and unflexing shoulder muscles as he practiced before every game into his mind. 

Erwin’s chest was wide and firm, his abdomen scored into eight equal pieces with dips between them as sweat often liked to collect there, before sliding down, and trailing to the v-shaped muscle that laid above his pelvis.

Levi missed watching Erwin work out, and practice. He missed the sound of Erwin panting and trying to regain his breath when he’d lost it. He missed the sight of Erwin’s body as it glistened in perspiration. He missed looking at his plump, raw, pink lips and most of all, he missed catching a glimpse of whatever he was packing in his underwear jump and bounce whenever he jogged or trotted, and as Levi pushed his middle finger inside of himself, all of the hairs on his body stood to attention, and the noise that left him came to no surprise at all.

He moaned quietly, pushing his finger in and out of himself as wave after wave of pleasure washed over him while his cock leaked. His mind was encapsulated with the thought of Erwin inside of him, thrusting into him, filling him, fucking him left and right to no avail and as Levi gasped, he only fingered himself faster. He dreamt of what it felt like to have Erwin on top of him, to have his hips pounding into his, his cock rearranging his insides, his hands keeping his legs so far apart that Levi couldn’t close them, and had no choice to take it, and take all of it.

He didn’t know how wet he’d become or how sticky his fingers were, the sound of his slick only grew louder and louder as he shamelessly pushed a second finger inside of himself, reaching deeper and deeper while his other hand reached down, and took hold of Levi’s now leaking arousal, and Levi could do nothing but moan, and moan one thing.

“Erwin..” he breathed.


	17. Fruit Punch

It became a part of Levi’s routine, naturally; fantasizing of the many ways Erwin would take his virginity and defile him, and though that sounded threatening to some it had stolen the number one spot on Levi’s list of things he wanted to achieve in college. He could never understand how he didn’t realize how criminally handsome Erwin until now, and it bothered him that he didn’t jump his bones sooner but, though he did want to have sex with Erwin, he wanted to love him first, and really love him.

He wanted Erwin to get close to him, and talk to him, and let things get good, real good, the way Erwin wanted them to be. He wanted to learn more things about Erwin, things he didn’t already know and he wanted to be there for him every day, all the time, every time, no matter what.

The side-effects of losing Erwin seemed to wear off now that Levi was fixated on having him to himself once he awoke, and life was okay again, even though it could be better. Every once in a while Levi would get called in for a shoot, and he’d get to be all dolled up for the camera and as tens of people swarmed him telling him to look this way or raise his jaw or lower his arm or lift his leg or bend a bit, and in that small time frame he felt like a celebrity for a few seconds, and that feeling felt good too.

Not only that but, Levi started bettering himself. He didn’t blame himself, he never felt guilty, and though he missed Erwin deeply, he didn’t let that prohibit him. He still hung out with Petra, and in doing that he became friends with Nanaba, and together, the three of them hung out. They went to the gym together and they went to bars and they ate out at new places they discovered and life was fun, again, but Levi knew it would be ten times better with Erwin.

He’d be lying if he said he still didn’t have his bad days but, they weren’t as bad as they used to be. Usually, his bad days consisted of a combination of boba tea, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream, anime, and a Snuggie, and not all of them ended badly, or ended in tears.

Nonetheless, Levi was in a good mood, doing what he did best. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and on Wednesday’s, Levi and Petra went to Art Club together after their classes were over and now, Levi was sat on a stool in front of his easel, trying to paint a portrait of Petra to the best of his ability as he looked back and forth between his model, and his artwork. There were other people in the room with them, quietly chatting as they drew, sculpted, or scribbled while lofi music played softly in the background, and everyone was having a good time.

With the help of gel, Levi had his hair tied up into a sleek, slick-back bun that hid right behind his head. Petra always told him he had nice eyes, and a beautiful complexion and so, he liked to have his hair out of the way, allowing him to not only put his dewy, porcelain-like face on display but, also his earrings. Levi wore a white t-shirt with this, tucking into his jeans and belting it before throwing a huge, over-sized brown cardigan over his shoulders and Levi had never been so calm, cozy, and relaxed in a long time, and Petra was happy for him.

She was one of the only people who knew what Levi was really going through but even then, she didn’t know much. She knew that Levi harbored feelings for Erwin, feelings that she wouldn’t doubt for even a second, and given that Erwin wasn’t here right now was hard for him. Levi never said anything or revealed anything or disclosed to her that he was hurting, but she knew. She knew that Levi didn’t just flake on she and Nanaba for no reason, and she knew Levi wouldn’t just raincheck on their night-on-the-towns without explaining either but, she did know that now, right now, Levi was healing, and she would have been at ease if it wasn’t for the pain in her lower back.

“Can I move now?” Petra asked through clenched teeth as she continued to hold the position.

“Five more seconds,” Levi said, squinting his eyes and painting in a few more strokes. “And..” he went on, applying a few finishing touches as he dipped into a new color, “done!” he smiled at Petra, as Petra quickly let her body slump as she let out a long-winded sigh.

“I was dying back there,” Petra exaggerated, rubbing her spine as she made her way over to her favorite freshman.

“It was worth it though, look,” said Levi, turning the easel to that Petra could see it and to her amazement, she found herself looking in a mirror.

She knew Levi was talented but, not _this_ , talented. How did he manage to make paint on a canvas look like a photograph and how did he manage to do it in an hour and thirty minutes? She gasped as her eyes wandered over the many different shades and pigments of herself she didn’t even know she had and there was no word she could employ to express how truly astonished she was and it made her wonder why Levi hadn't become a full-fledged artist yet.

“Levi.. this.. this is..” she tried.

“You have to let it dry before you take it home,” Levi said to her, soon making Petra walk over and lock Levi into a tight, suffocating hug before pulling back, and pressing a kiss onto his cheek as Levi grimaced, and it made Petra laugh.

Levi never hesitated to remind her that he wasn’t into women but, she harassed him anyways, and though Levi pretended to hate it, he could never follow through.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Levi went home for the night afterward. He stopped by the café, grabbing a few things to snack on before successfully avoiding his dormmate, and sneaking into his room to finish up season four of his new anime obsession. He didn’t have any classes tomorrow so, theoretically speaking he had the day off. He’d probably stay up late but, he intended on studying tomorrow anyhow with the company of Petra and Nanaba. He laid in his bed with his phone in one hand and his boba in the other, watching a subbed episode of Food Wars within the darkness of his room. Levi was half-Japanese, and though he could understand when it was spoken, he could never speak it himself, and with that being said he didn't need subtitles. He had been like this for the past two or three hours but of course, _someone_ , had to ruin his peace.

His roommate was knocking on his door, and that could mean one of three things; the toilet was clogged, the microwave was on fire, or, Hanji needed to borrow a few quarters to do their laundry, and by borrowing, they meant take and never pay back, and considering it was the middle of the week, Levi assumed it was the third one.

“You already owe me thirty bucks, go away,” Levi said, loud enough for Hanji to hear through his wooden door.

“What? No!” Hanji retorted. “There’s someone at the door for you!” they shouted.

The door? Someone at the door? What the fuck did she mean there was someone at the door?

“He said they know you!” Hanji continued.

 _He_ ? Did Hanji say _he_ ? There was a _man_ , at the door? There was a man at the door, at this time of night? Levi wasn’t expecting anyone, and he wasn’t expecting anyone at this hour so who the hell was that the door? Levi hadn’t befriended any man in the last few weeks or so. The only men he knew were on the football team and even then, they all had his social media so, if they wanted something they could have sent him a message. It couldn’t have been the Treasurer of the Student Government, could it? Levi didn’t like him, and when Levi didn’t like someone he didn’t have to say that he didn’t like them, they knew, and then, Levi’s heart leaped out of his chest and never returned.

Erwin.

It was Erwin. It had to be Erwin. Erwin was the only man Levi knew that would come to him like this and come to him this late and come to him in the attempt of surprising him but in the end having it ruined because Erwin was Erwin and he could never do anything right and Levi adored that about him.

Levi teleported out of the bed, throwing on something semi-reasonable and semi-decent before bursting out of his bedroom and running past Hanji before unlocking and yanking the door of their dorm wide open and then, he stared up at him.

Stared up at Mike, that is.

“M-Mike..?” Levi asked softly, breathing deeply from having pulled himself out of bed so quickly, trying his best not to reveal the sadness and disappointment in his tone. “What are you.. doing here and why are you--”

Mike stepped to the side, and Levi was only centimeters away from being in cardiac arrest. Erwin knew that whenever he tried to surprise Levi he failed but, not this time. Levi expected Erwin and got Mike but now, the bright blue eyes, idiotic smile, and freshly clean-shaven face that grinned down at Levi now was an expression Levi would _never_ , forget.

It was him. 

It was Erwin.

It was _his_ Erwin, standing right there, in the hallway, wearing a sweatshirt with ‘University of Maria’ printed across it along with the matching sweatpants, and a hospital bracelet still intact around his wrist and Levi couldn’t think. He couldn’t speak with his heartbeat bubbling up in his throat and his stomach doing cartwheels and then, he heard it. He heard the voice he missed so much, and it was icing on the cake.

“Did you tell Annie I had a girlfriend,” Erwin asked him, “or, was that just something I overheard while I was knocked out in a c—”

Levi shut him up without saying a word, racing towards Erwin and throwing his arms around his neck as he pulled him down so that Erwin’s lips met his and instantly, their mouths moved and their tongues greeted as if they’d done this before, mostly because they have.

Erwin remembered. Erwin remembered him. Erwin remembered how he felt, and with the help of Mike to fill him in on what he missed, Erwin knew that Levi was in love with him, and that was all he needed to hear. He’d been up all day, but they only discharged him minutes ago, as they had to run a few tests on him to make sure that he recovered fully, and he did. He recovered perfectly, and he was still the same old Erwin Levi knew and loved and as Erwin hoisted him up, and off of his feet, he took hold of Levi’s soft, warm thighs; relishing in the feeling of Levi’s body against his and his tongue entwined with his and for a brief moment, he thought he was dreaming.

Hell, if he knew all he had to do was get concussed for Levi to love him, maybe he would’ve crashed the car when Levi told him to back then, but now, right now, in this moment, he couldn’t get enough of Levi’s lips, and how they kissed him so tenderly while Levi’s hands and fingertips framed his face.

“You owe me one, Blondie,” Mike said as he walked off but, Erwin didn’t hear him.

He was lost in the cherry-flavored chapstick on Levi’s lips.


	18. Touchdown

They stood up all night, and talked, and it felt and went a whole lot better this time around.

Levi admitted his wrongs and so did Erwin. Erwin accepted the fact that his way of trying to get to Levi wasn’t the right way, and though there is no official right way to make someone fall in love, his way wasn’t the best, and his mother was right in telling him it wasn’t a good idea from the start. As for Levi, he apologized, and he apologized for everything. For Reiner, for Annie, and of course, himself. He’d always recognized what he felt for Erwin but, he forced himself not to see it and it wasn’t until last night did he realize just how stupid he really was. 

The aquamarine eyes he stared into would never leave him, and Levi knew. Erwin couldn’t live without bothering him, or annoying him, or being a jerk just so Levi could abuse him and yet, Levi couldn’t live without said nuisance, because he couldn’t live without Erwin.

He didn’t let Erwin return back to his dorm, simply because he didn’t want him anywhere else but his side and so, they fell asleep in Levi’s bed. They fell asleep in the arms of one other in the midst of their conversation and that night, like many nights, they made yet another promise, only this one was sealed with a kiss. The promise they shared was to talk, and always talk to one another, about everything. It was a promise they should’ve made years ago but never thought of and yet, this promise, like all of their other promises, would always stay that way, and they both knew. Soon after that, they talked about Erwin’s letter, and eventually what happened after Erwin was concussed but finally, they talked about what happened last summer, in the treehouse, and this time, Levi didn’t hide anything, or refrain himself in any way.

He told Erwin that he kissed him because he wanted to kiss him and he made sure to tell him straight to his face and this time when Erwin smiled at him, he didn’t cry.

He didn’t look like he was hurt, or in pain, or broken. He looked happy, and relieved, and just as handsome as he’d always been and though neither of them knew what either of them were or what they were going to be it was clear that they were no longer best friends, and even clearer that they didn’t want to be and it felt strange to Erwin, somehow. He laid awake in Levi’s dorm room, and though he’d seen and been in Levi’s bedroom before in his family home,  _ laying _ , in Levi’s bed, in Levi’s room, with Levi hidden in his chest and arms beneath Levi’s fluffy, soft, and gigantic blanket while he slept, and slept peacefully felt so unnaturally instinctive that Erwin didn’t dare to move. He couldn’t escape the feeling in his chest and body, how every ounce of him felt like this was it, like this was where he belonged, like this was where he was supposed to be and he couldn’t shake the feeling.

He woke up minutes ago, and having been greeted with the colorful paintings on Levi’s wall and anime stickers on his mirror and the sheer comfort of his bed, it didn’t take long for him to look down at the quiet, tiny thing that was nuzzled into his chest as it dreamed.

Levi was absolutely right, he was a sucker for small cute things especially since Levi was, a small, cute thing.

Erwin never really noticed how long Levi’s eyelashes were until now. He never noticed how light he was, or how shiny his painted, medium-length nails were, or how his body molded to his so perfectly as he slept or how overwhelmingly  _ warm _ , he was and then, Levi stirred. A hand appeared from beneath the blanket, reaching up and rubbing his eye before shuffling even closer, to him, and returning back into a deep slumber, or at least, that’s what Erwin thought.

“Stop staring at me..” Levi said quietly, still half-asleep as he hid himself away between the blanket and Erwin’s muscle so that only the top of his head could be seen and Erwin could only chuckle.

“I can’t help it,” Erwin admitted, listening to Levi as he humphed.

“Yes you can, go back to sleep,”

“I’ve been asleep for two months, you want me to go back?” Erwin asked a joke but, Levi didn’t seem to take it that way as he shot his head up with an adorable pout and worry-filled eyes that made Erwin’s heart thaw. 

“I’m kidding,” he said quickly, not wanting to scare Levi out of whatever loveable mood this was as he leaned down, and pressed his lips onto Levi’s pout, and that seemed to do the trick.

Levi’s eyes drifted away with ease, allowing Erwin to take advantage of his mouth as what was supposed to be a quick peck turned into something more. Erwin's hands wandered down to Levi's waist, pulling him closer so that there was no space in between before letting them slide even further, and slip into the back of Levi’s pants, and that was all it took to elicit a noise out of Levi. Levi was too sleepy to even fully recognize what was going on, all he knew was that where Erwin was touching, it felt good, really good, and as Erwin’s kisses grew sloppier, his body got hotter, and he didn’t want him to stop.

Truthfully, Erwin wasn’t supposed to be engaging in any strenuous forms of exercise, sex being one of them, and those were doctor’s orders but, the noise that had escaped Levi was too alluring to ignore.

Then again, when did Erwin ever, listen to directions, follow rules, or obey orders?

Erwin rolled over; turning Levi onto his back as he trailed his kisses to Levi’s cheek, neck, and ear. He listened to the sound of Levi panting and breathing, and while he nipped at the spot behind Levi's earlobe that he found absolutely irresistible, he listened to him hum before tracing Levi’s body with his hands, and digging his fingers into the hem of his pajama pants, and pulling them down, and Levi watched as his pants were thrown to the floor.  Levi watched as Erwin sat up, kneeling in front of his closed legs before taking hold of the collar of his tee and pulling it off, revealing the delicious arrangement of muscle that would soon be on top of him, nonetheless, as Levi only stared at him with messy bedhead, flushed cheeks, and dreamy, half-lidded eyes. He watched as Erwin caressed the skin of his thighs, setting a kiss on each of Levi’s knees while he pulled Levi’s underwear down from his hips, and past his thighs, and below his knees and then, Levi watched as Erwin untangled them from his ankles before tossing it aside.

This was it. This was it and Levi knew it was it and even though he’d dreamt of this day more than any other day, he was quick to shield his face with both his hands and curl up; not wanting to open his legs any further as he whimpered.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want this. It wasn’t that Erwin was moving too fast or that he wasn’t ready or that he didn’t want Erwin to be his first but, it was that _no one_ , had seen his body, not like this, and not ever, and Levi didn’t know what to think. He didn’t think he’d freeze up like this, that’s for sure. He didn’t think he’d be unable to move. He didn’t think he’d be so shy and so embarrassed even though he’d done indecent things with Erwin in mind and yet, he could feel kisses, on the back of his hands, and a soft voice that followed.

“Wanna try again later?” Erwin asked him, instantly making Levi shake his head with his face still hidden, that wasn’t what he wanted.

“I'm not gonna be mad at you, and you know that.” Erwin reminded him.

Levi whimpered.

“We don't have to do this right now, we can try later, whenever you're ready and—”

Levi whimpered again.

“Levi, you have to talk to me, you know.”

Levi whimpered again, louder this time but, Levi could talk to him. He couldn’t even look at him, right now. He had no pants on. He had no underwear on. Erwin had never seen him like this. No one had ever seen him this. He didn’t want to see Erwin’s reaction to his body. He didn’t want to see Erwin’s reaction to anything and then, he felt Erwin take hold of one of his wrists. He couldn’t fight it, Erwin was ten times stronger than he was and though he was quick to cover his exposed eye, suddenly, he felt something warm, really warm, and something.. beating.. beating really fast, beating every second and as Levi worked up the courage to peek between two of fingers, the whole situation didn’t feel so bad.. anymore.

Erwin put Levi’s hand on the left side of his chest, letting him feel how rapidly his heart was beating, and Levi could barely keep count.

“I’m nervous too,” Erwin looked at him, swallowing thickly. “I.. get nervous about everything involving you and whenever I’m around you, it’s always like this,” he confessed, and it was true.

Levi always made his heart quicken, no matter what was doing. It was like this when Levi kissed him in the treehouse. It was like this on the car ride to visit campus. It was like this when they went to that Korean BBQ place. It was like this on all their study dates, it was like this when he knew Levi was watching his games, it was like this when Levi was right next to him, when Levi was right beside him, when Levi laughed at him, or smiled at him, or even glanced in his direction and it was like this now and Levi couldn’t believe it.

“But,” Erwin let go of Levi’s wrist, still determined on making sure that this was what Levi wanted, “if you don’t want to do this then—”

“I want to,” Levi quieted him, “I want to, and I want to do this, with you but.. just.. be gentle.. okay?” he begged him, and honestly, Erwin had never seen Levi like this before. 

He was always demanding things and instructing him to do this and not to do that and he was always the boss of everything and everyone and this was the one time he asked Erwin to do something, and the one time Erwin was in control, and the one time he couldn’t afford to fuck up.

Levi observed Erwin between his fingers, watching as he spread Levi’s legs, earning a small, nearly inaudible squeak from Levi but Erwin moved just as slowly as he had before. He leaned down, planting a kiss onto Levi’s stomach and spreading butterflies throughout. He sprinkled kisses all over Levis skin, his hands holding Levi’s hips while his thumb rubbed, and massaged the muscle. Erwin knew should he look at Levi, Levi would turn into a flustering mess but, with what he was about to do, he didn’t need to look up at him. 

His kisses lowered. He drew a circle around Levi’s belly button with his tongue, carefully lifting his legs over his shoulders while he laid on his elbows, and pressed burning kisses onto the skin of Levi’s inner thighs. He caressed Levi’s shaking legs, warming them with the palms of his hands and as his head traveled deeper and further between Levi’s legs; Levi’s hands flew down from his face, gripping handfuls of the golden locks that laid on Erwin’s head as he moaned, and moaned loudly. 

Erwin’s mouth was in a place only Levi had touched, a place only Levi had toyed with, a place Levi thought only he knew about but as his tongue circled around the quivering, tight ring of muscle, he felt Levi’s thighs press up against his head, and Levi’s fingers knot in his hair. 

Levi stared down at him, gasping at the feeling of Erwin’s tongue flicking up and down and left and right and he didn’t know if he wanted Erwin to stop or keep going. His heart was beating to fast, his skin was warming too quickly, his body felt like an inferno and what Erwin was doing to him wasn't helping him to cool down. His tongue was hot and wet, exploring every inch of Levi before his tongue delved inside and as Levi gasped, the fingers in his hair held onto it even tighter, and as his toes pointed, Erwin knew he'd struck something good.

Levi laid his head back against the pillow, letting his eyes close and his grip on Erwin’s hair loosen as he lost himself in the feeling of Erwin’s tongue inside of him, nudging his every nerve as he moaned, and panted. Erwin lifted Levi’s legs off of his shoulders, gliding his hands up as he held the backs of Levi’s knees and spread his legs even further, and Levi only gnawed on his bottom lip as Erwin tasted him. 

It felt good. It felt _really_ good. 

With every curl of his tongue, Levi’s moans grew louder. With every twist, Levi’s nipples grew stiffer. With every swirl and roll and dip and arc, Levi’s body melted, and his mind liquefied into a puddle of Erwin, and only Erwin, as he sent wave, after wave, after wave, of pure euphoria up his spine, and through his body. He couldn’t get enough. He couldn’t get enough of the sensation of Erwin’s tongue licking and licking all of him. His tongue pushed deeper, his tongue moved faster, his tongue reached spots Levi didn’t know he had or rather, spots he hadn't discovered and as his back lifted into an arch, his thighs began to tremble, again. 

“E-Erwin..” Levi stammered, his head flipping on its other side while Levi looked down at Erwin, watching as he viciously attacked the spot that Levi didn’t want him to and as Levi cried and moaned and squirmed and tried to push Erwin’s head elsewhere where it didn’t feel so unbearably good, Erwin tortured him even more. 

He couldn’t close his legs, he desperately tried to close his legs but Erwin wouldn't let him. He couldn’t move his hips, he tried to wiggle away but it was impossible. He couldn’t do anything but give Erwin full reign to his body and he couldn’t take it. He couldn’t hold it. He couldn’t hold back any longer. He didn’t think he’d give up so quickly but Erwin wasn’t giving him an easy way out and then, as Levi inhaled, sucking in as much air as he could, his body stilled for only a moment before letting out a glorious moan as he orgasmed, and he'd never came so quickly in his life before today.

He laid his head back onto the pillow, letting go of Erwin’s hair as his hands flew up beside him, as he huffed, in an effort to regain his breath. His body relaxed out of its arch, feeling Erwin’s tongue slow as his body spasmed. 

Levi’s eyes opened, once more, as he gazed down at Erwin.

He looked at him with the same dazed eyes only this time, he was needy, and the blush that had once appeared on his cheeks now spread to his nose, and ears, and Levi wanted more. He wanted to feel Erwin more. He wanted Erwin to do whatever he wanted with his body the same way he had just now and the feeling of Erwin press a kiss onto his now twitching, and desperate entrance made him lick his lips. 

Erwin knew that Levi came, and that alone meant that Levi was feeling good if not great but now, Erwin wanted him to see stars. 

He pressed his lips onto each of Levi’s thighs, loving every bit of him as much as he could as he sat up and onto his knees as he knelt, again. He let go of Levi’s legs, letting them float in anticipation as Levi shifted his head to one side as he watched Erwin untie the drawstring of his sweatpants before taking them off, and revealing the tent in his boxer briefs, and it was enough to make Levi ooze in both places at once. 

He wanted to see it. He wanted to see how big it was. He wanted to feel it inside of him now more than ever and as Erwin tugged his briefs down, the sight of what was now Levi’s favorite thing in the world jumping out, and standing at full attention made Levi bite, and nibble at his finger as he sighed to himself.

It was big. 

It was big, and long, and thick and it had a couple of veins and though it would normally be daunting to others with the way it pulsated, Levi wasn’t at all afraid. He was impatient.

Levi looked up at him, watching as one of Erwin’s hands assisted in keeping his legs apart as the other guided his cock in the exact place Levi wanted it and the moment Levi started to feel pressure was the moment he reached back, and clung onto the pillows behind his head. 

Erwin held onto the backs of Levi’s legs, forbidding him from shutting them as he watched as Levi’s mouth fall open, as he entered him. He watched as his eyebrows raised and a crease form between them. He watched his jaw drop and his toes curl and his fingers grip onto the pillowcases of his bed and he watched Levi’s hips try to run away from him as he filled Levi with every inch, and every centimeter of his cock, and as soon as Levi gave up from holding his breath, he let out a thunderous moan that Erwin couldn’t resist. 

He recoiled his hips, pulling almost all the way out before pushing all the way back in, as he listened to Levi moan his name before doing it all over again, just the way Levi liked it. The expression on Levi’s face wasn’t helping Erwin remain gentle, at all. He was squeezing around him so tightly and yet, as Erwin looked down to the place where both he and Levi were connected, his cock glistened from having been sheathed in nothing but Levi’s slick. Levi moaned every time he pushed in, and it was music to Erwin's ears. As the speed of his hips increased gradually, the more turned on Levi became and the louder his moans grew and Erwin could only stare down at him as he licked his lips.

Erwin’s cock was huge. It was huge, and it was hot and it was deeper than Levi could have ever imagined and Levi was unable to think of anything but Erwin and Erwin alone. He could feel it throb. He could feel it pushing in and out of him. He could feel it pleasuring every nerve-ending on his walls and Levi was in heaven, and he didn’t want this to stop for even a moment. He’d looked down, watching Erwin’s cock slip in and out of him as he listened to the soft, quiet, and wet sound of Erwin's cock, thrusting into him so lovingly, and it made his eyelids grow heavy. They began to roll back, and as Levi succumbed to the pleasureful elation that graced his body, he found himself wanting more.

“Deeper..” Levi said breathily, “deeper..” he pleaded again, feeling Erwin thrust into his prostate over, and over, and over again as he whined at the overwhelming feeling of the pleasure that ran through him. 

He lifted his shirt up and out of the way, leaving all of his chest exposed as each of his hands toyed with his nipples, and heightened his pleasure all the more as he hummed. 

Erwin wanted to cum, and cum badly. With his name pouring out of Levi's mouth over and over in the tone it was in and Levi's body refusing to even let him go for a second and Levi's face making him want to do nothing more but ravish him, right here and now, it was becoming near impossible to hold back. Levi’s body was in sync with his own, rocking with every thrust he gave him and moaning with every nudge and then and only then did Erwin decide to not only listen to what Levi wanted, but what he wanted as well. 

He let go of Levi’s legs, leaving them behind him in favor of catching one of Levi’s moans in his mouth as he kissed him. He balanced himself on top of Levi, stabilizing himself on his elbows as Levi’s arms wrapped themselves around Erwin’s torso. Erwin’s closeness allowed him to go deeper, it allowed him to reach the spot Levi wanted him to itch so badly, and suddenly, as Levi's moans loudened, Erwin gave it to him like he meant it, and all Levi could do was cling to him as he cried.

Erwin gave it to him harder, swallowing every moan that tried to leave Levi’s mouth and as he pummeled Levi’s little hips into oblivion. He could feel Levi’s nails dig into his skin, and claw all the way down his back as he held onto him for dear life and all Levi could do was whine. He could feel Levi's wall clamp down even tighter around him. He could hear Levi's whines as he pulled away from his mouth and as he stared down at him, he nearly came. 

Levi was looking directly at him, their mouths only brushing against one another's as Levi's body jumped and jolted from having to take every single one of Erwin's ruthless onslaughts. Levi breathed into his mouth, and Levi could tell with the look in his glassy, welling eyes that he wanted to say something and yet, as Erwin drove his cock deeper inside of him, he couldn't, and he knew he couldn't.  Erwin didn’t stop. He wouldn’t leave that spot alone. He wouldn’t thrust into a different place and it was driving Levi crazy. It made his chest burn and his stomach knot and his muscles tense and lungs stop breathing and his body feel like he was on fire and as Erwin kissed his lips, and buried his face in Levi's neck as he sucked at the skin, Levi's ability to rationalize what was happening diminished.

He held his breath, one of his hands reaching up, holding onto the back of Erwin's head as he ran his fingers through his undercut while his other hand clung onto his bicep and as Levi stared at his shaking legs with blurred vision, trying to comprehend what was going on, Erwin wasted no time in fucking him silly, and Levi wanted to scream.  He wanted to scream and cry and yell and yet he was speechless. He couldn’t figure what was happening. He didn't know how deep Erwin was but he knew he was deep. He couldn't pinpoint where exactly Erwin was kissing him but he could feel his lips. He couldn’t fully understand how Erwin was capable of making him feel this good and in the midst of trying to organize out his half-processed thoughts, the sound of their skin and flesh, clapping together with every thrust of Erwin’s relentless hips and as Levi’s mouth moved to say something, _anything_ , anything to warn Erwin that he was close and if he keeps going like this he’ll—

A low, guttural moan traversed into Levi’s ear, and that was all it took to send Levi over the edge. 

He listened to the shaky intense groan that left Erwin’s mouth and floated into his ear and as he came for the second time, his body only jerked at the feeling of something warm spilling, and flowing inside of him.  Erwin was cumming, and as he sighed at the feeling of Erwin filling him as he throbbed, a tremor ran through him. Erwin soon lifted his head out from Levi's neck, feeling Levi's still trembling legs wrap around his torso as he aided him in riding out the aftershocks with slow, gentle rolls of his hips. He put his arms around Levi, painting his face in kisses as he listened to the quiet adorable noises that left him as it appeared Erwin got what he wanted; he made Levi see stars. He took the time to soothe Levi, calming his heart and helping him climb down from his high as he pressed his mouth onto Levi's, and let them linger for a while.

He pulled away after a few seconds, now peering down at his now sexed-up little angel as he looked back up at him, with glossy, lustful eyes.

“Where’d you learn that..” Levi exhaled softly. “That..thing you did.. with your mouth..” he asked him innocently, making Erwin smile down at him as he kissed his nose.

“I study when I want to, sometimes,”


	19. Lover Boy

Sex with Erwin was.. unreal.

Erwin was the football team’s Fullback and though he was built up to be tough and strong and powerful, the way he’d held Levi close to him as he made love to him was the very opposite. The way he made Levi feel was extraordinary, and wherever he kissed or licked or nipped on his body felt extraordinarily good and though Levi was dog tired, a small percentage of him wouldn’t mind going at it again. Erwin’s hands felt better than he’d imagined. His kisses felt better than he'd dreamt they had and his cock felt so amazing to where Levi could still feel it, almost, as he laid on his side, watching Erwin get dressed.

He didn’t want him to leave much less put his clothes back on. He knew he’d be back in a few minutes but, he didn’t want him to leave. He wanted him to stay, and cuddle, and kiss him some more but Erwin insisted if Levi went without breakfast, he’d get grumpy, and Levi couldn’t really argue with that. Levi  hadn’t left the dream-like state he’d been in the past hour or so and Erwin blamed it on the fact that rather than letting him fall back asleep, Erwin helped him in christening his dorm room. After redressing, he walked over to Levi, feeling his pockets to ensure his wallet and phone was there before leaning over, and kissing him yet again, for the hundredth time.

“Fifteen minutes, I promise,” he told him, knowing that Levi didn’t want him to go but also knowing he didn’t have the strength to stop him.

Levi didn’t say anything though, all he did was pucker his lips in a silent demand for another kiss and Erwin happily obliged with a smile.

“I’ll be back,” Erwin said again, lifting the blanket over Levi’s shoulder and covering up his body some more before turning around, and tiptoeing out of Levi’s bedroom.

As soon as the door was closed, and clicked shut behind him; Erwin’s balled fists shot up into the air before bringing them back down before whisper-yelling a very enthusiastic ‘let’s fuckin’ go’ in celebration. Kissing Levi was one thing, but having sex with him? Oh my  _ God  _ Erwin’s been waiting so long to do that. He’d been waiting so long to touch him and feel him but most of all, he made him cum. He made Levi cum,  _ twice _ , and that feat was even greater than winning the very game that concussed him. He made Levi hold onto him, he made Levi rip his hair out, he made cry and scream and moan his name and the face he made when he came— _ fuck _ , the face he made when he came while he was inside him was enough to make Erwin feel like he was the luckiest man alive and then, the sound of someone clearing their throat reminded Erwin that Levi didn’t live here, alone, and Erwin was quick to humble himself as he looked over at Hanji.

He’d gathered himself, brushing himself off and lingering in the slight awkwardness as Hanji lifted another spoon of cereal to their mouth before pointing at Erwin with the spoon.

“You’re on the football team, right?” they asked, storing the bite of food in their cheek momentarily.

“Y-Yeah,” Erwin said, clearing his throat and immediately regretting it. He could get in trouble for being here, and a lot of it. It wasn’t his dorm, and Levi wasn’t in the right state of mind to conjure up some sort of lie to get him out of this right now.

“You know my brother, Moblit?” they asked.

“Yeah, he’s.. he’s a good kid.”

Hanji only shrugged. 

“Cool,” they said with a side-ways grin, and after forcing a chuckle, Erwin got out of there, and fast.

* * *

Though Levi had today off, Erwin didn’t. It was his first day back, and the University of Maria was more than excited to announce that their Fullback has fully recovered upon discovering that he was out and about and around campus. He had to stop by and see a few of his professors, as it was required of him to make up any missed assignments but considering who he was and the fact that he was _everyone’s_ favorite, he wouldn’t need to make up a thing. 

He’d dropped off Levi’s boba and chocolate chip muffin a few minutes earlier before heading out for a second time and as Levi laid in his bed, switching in between Netflix and texting Erwin to see when he’d be back, he found himself looking at his own reflection as his phone rang, and this time, it was Petra who wanted to FaceTime him.  Levi wasn’t really awaiting a call from her but, as he pulled the blanket up to cover his chest, he answered anyway, and his eyes were met with a scene of Petra seeming to be walking around on campus as she stared back at him. 

“Don’t tell me you’re still in bed,” she said, making Levi smile. 

“I have today off, what’d you expect?” 

“I thought we’d go to the library like we always do, and you know,” she shrugged. “study and look over some things.”

“You didn’t hear?” Levi’s smile widened as Petra lifted a brow. 

“Hear what?”

“Erwin’s awake,” he told her, and Petra’s eyes shot open as she stopped in her tracks. 

“Wait, are you serious? He’s awake? When did he wake up? Why aren’t you at the hospital? Why aren’t you with him?” she bombarded as Levi only laughed. 

Petra didn’t know why he was laughing. She hadn’t said or done anything funny but as she stared at her phone, she put the pieces together. Levi was still in bed, it was three in the afternoon and hadn’t left his bed and Petra could tell by his hair. He knew Erwin was awake and yet, he hadn’t moved a muscle, and as Petra stared into her phone.. was that.. a hickey? Why was Levi in such a good mood? Why did he sound so different, and sound so angelic? Why was he laughing so much? Why wasn’t he ready to go to the library with her?

Why was he  _ glowing _ ?

“No  _ fucking _ way,” she gasped, making Levi giggle even more as she watched Levi nuzzle into his bed. 

“What?” Levi asked her guiltlessly. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, you slept with him, didn’t you,” she said, watching as Levi shrugged with the same, bright smile on his face. 

“Maybe..”

“Shut up,”

“I couldn’t help it,”

“Oh my God, _shut_ _up_!” Petra exclaimed, making Levi cover his face with his hand as he couldn’t help but laugh at Petra shock. “You have to tell me _everything_ , and I meant it. How was he? How were you? Was it good?”

“I don’t kiss and tell, Petra,”

“Oh please,” she scoffed, “It’s your fault for sleeping with him right off the bat, now I gotta know,”

And unexpectedly, Levi shifted. What did she mean by that? Sleeping with him right off the bat? Was he..  _ not _ , supposed to sleep with him so soon? The more Levi thought about it, he remembered that Erwin was only discharged last night? They had sex within the first twenty-four hours of seeing each other. Did Erwin think he was an easy lay? Did he think he was a pushover? He knew what he and Erwin shared was deeper than just sex but, it still bothered him, did Erwin think he was quick?

Levi rolled over, laying on his stomach as he held his phone on each of his hands. 

“Petra, I need your help,”

“With what? What’s the matt—“

“I think I messed up, and messed up bad.” he gulped. 

“Are you having second thoughts or something?”

“No, it’s just, I wasn’t thinking, clearly,” he admitted. “Erwin came to my dorm last night and I was just so happy that he was awake and that he remembered me and that he remembered what he had that I wasn’t thinking about the bases. I wasn’t thinking about first base, or, second base, or whatever the hell third base is and I.. I was just so tied up in him that I didn’t even realize what was happening, I mean, we haven’t even talked about what we  _ are _ , yet, and—“

“Okay, first off, forget the bases, this isn’t baseball.” she cut him off, knowing fully well that if she let Levi panic and ramble the way he just was, he wouldn’t stop. 

“What are you worried about, exactly?” she asked him, watching as Levi curled a strand of hair behind his ear. 

“I’m worried that even though our relationship just started we may already be moving too fast..” he said. “Don’t all couples have sex around like.. the four-month mark?”

“Not all couples are the same, Levi,”

“I know, but—“

“But nothing,” she said, refusing to let Levi stress out over absolutely nothing. 

If Levi was really counting, they’d waited long enough. They’d been best friends for over a decade and by those means, Petra didn’t think they were moving fast all. She didn’t think Levi was really worried about how fast they were going, and having had her fair share of romantic endeavors herself, what she saw in Levi was something she’d experienced herself years ago. She used to be Levi too; always in control, always knowing what she wanted, and always getting what she wanted and furthermore, truly believing that she ran the place. 

Levi was only just waking up the reality that maybe that wasn’t true. 

In having sex with Erwin, Levi was incapable of maintaining control of his thoughts and actions. He wasn’t able to think or think clearly or speak and speak audibly and having his body entangled in unadulterated bliss and stimulation; Levi became someone else in the bedroom, someone else he didn’t know and perhaps, that scared him. 

What Levi wanted was control, and control during intimacy was a hard game to play but, Petra knew a few tricks that kept men wanting more. 

“Do you.. have a cucumber, by any chance?” Petra asked. 

Levi had cucumbers. He’d given up on being vegan for a while now but, yes, he had cucumbers. 

“Yeah, why?” he questioned. 

“I’m going to teach you how to give a blowjob,”


	20. Snowflake

Being the Star-Athlete, role model, and representation of the University of Maria; Erwin was given all kinds of benefits that he willfully took advantage of and Levi couldn’t have been more jealous. 

For one, Erwin was exempt from any and all midterm examinations; they told him it was on the basis of any possible underlying medical conditions, and considering he'd recovered from a head injury, the administration didn't want him using his head too much. Levi understood, and could get along with, but, still, he was envious. On top of this, Erwin was moved into a new dorm. A new dorm in a new housing complex that had _air_ _conditioning_ and, get this, he didn’t have a dorm mate. It was practically a fucking apartment with two bedrooms and a fucking jacuzzi and they even had a washer and dryer installed in the bathroom just for him and yet before Levi could complain, Erwin got the key to his ‘dorm’ copied, and with a squeal and a quick kiss, Levi packed his things and moved in with haste. 

It wasn‘t that he wanted to get away from Hanji—wait, yes it was—but, he wanted to take advantage of the free bedroom that would soon become his closet, or maybe his art room, or maybe his study room, and truthfully, Levi hadn’t figured out what he wanted to be yet but, what he did figure out was that living with Erwin was something he didn’t know he wanted to do so badly. 

Erwin made doing laundry fun. Erwin made grocery shopping fun. Erwin made cooking fun and showering fun and staying up all night playing Mario Kart fun and he made being his boyfriend, fun. 

That’s right, boyfriend. 

It was impossible to not know they were dating, but even if someone didn’t know, and even _looked_ , in Erwin’s direction; Levi was sure to sit himself in Erwin's lap, and mark his territory. They made it official the very week that Erwin awoke and though they never sat down and talked about it, Levi adored the way it really went down even more. Annie, a woman who never knew boundaries or lines by any means took it upon herself to walk up to them as they walked to class, hand-in-hand. Again, she asked Erwin if she was in a relationship, since there was a mix-up before, but this time, before Levi could get upset and before Annie began flirting and before she could even finish her stupid question, Erwin introduced Levi as his boyfriend before walking off, and hearing that word come out of his mouth made Levi swoon. 

Being the boyfriend of  _ The _ , Erwin Smith has its perks too, don’t get it twisted. People Levi didn’t know were saying hi to him and people Levi had never met were waving at him and talking to him and trying to get close to him and it wasn’t until then did he realize how popular Erwin really was and how much of an influence he had. Levi’s following went up on every account he had on social media, and he didn’t need Petra to tell him the two of them were a power couple. 

Levi’s modeling progressed daily; he did more shoots, he booked more gigs, he bought more clothes and began making a few dollars on the side and his name began to flourish outside of Maria and into the fashion world. He’d been modeling for Reiss Fashion, having them send their clothing to him before meeting up with his Photographer and shooting near home. He’d been getting in touch with tens of other agents wanting him to fly out to their location and pose for them at their shoot rather than where he was but, Levi wasn’t ready, yet. He wasn’t ready to leave home or leave his family, and most of all, he wasn’t ready to leave Erwin. 

Erwin was amazing and amazing to him, in every way, and living with him, he learned new things. 

He learned that Erwin could eat up to seven pancakes. He learned that Erwin likes to fondle him while making, said pancakes. He learned that Erwin brushed his teeth before and after eating those pancakes, and he also learned that Erwin  _ really _ , liked pancakes. 

They’d only been together three months, and waking up to him never got old and falling asleep in their bedroom never got boring and the sex they had never lost its spark and it never would, that much Levi knew. 

It didn’t take long at all for Erwin’s mother or his own parents to discover that they had moved on from best friends to lovers and though Levi expected maybe a few gasps and hoots, what he got was something along of the lines of ‘I thought you two were already dating’, and he couldn’t blame them. Levi had loved Erwin for a long time, he just didn’t realize it. It was only recently did things start to click, and though he wished they had sooner, he couldn’t have been more grateful to have Erwin in his life the way he did.

Erwin was his first boyfriend, and he was Erwin’s. They both occupied each other’s first in terms of kisses, and relationships and sex and Levi wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. He liked being Erwin’s one and only, and he intended on being his last too. 

Talking to Erwin, and talking to Erwin about football did make him question a few things, however. Erwin knew better than anyone what happened to him. He knew that he was seriously concussed and put into a coma that he may not have woken out of it so early and more than that, he could’ve lost memories, valuable memories. When Levi brought up the conversation of if he was going to play again next year, next season, Erwin wanted to say no but, he didn’t want to lie to Levi. He loved football, and Levi knew he loved football and even though he could tell that Levi didn’t want him to play because he was worried and scared and rightfully so, Levi supported it anyway, but somehow, it still didn’t seem right.  If he was to get hurt again, it wouldn’t be fair to Levi. It wouldn’t be fair that he’d be put through the trauma he’d gone through before for the second time and Erwin didn’t want to do that to him, not again. He didn’t want to hurt him, he didn’t want to scare him, he didn’t want to be without him and he didn’t want to make it seem like he was choosing football over him and though he told Levi that he would be playing next season, he didn’t necessarily know if that was true. 

He didn’t know how confident he’d play knowing that Levi was fretting for him with every tackle. He didn’t know how aggressively he’d play knowing that Levi was worrying about him with every block. He didn’t know if he’d want to play at all knowing that it was the exact opposite of what Levi wanted, and soon, it became a dilemma. 

Levi meant the world, to him, and he made sure Levi knew that every second of every day. 

A kiss on his cheek and whispers of encouragement when Levi was up late, studying. A hand on the small of his back that drifted down to grab a handful of what belonged to him, as he passed him in the kitchen. A hug around his waist as he joined him in the shower and ensuring that Levi was put to bed every night the best way possible that may or may not have included Levi screaming his name but, the point of the matter was, Erwin wanted to be there, to do those things. 

He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to touch him. He wanted to hug him. He wanted to cuddle with him. He wanted to make love to him. He wanted to sneak up on him from behind and tickle him half to death when he least expected it and he wanted to spend as much time with Levi as he could and if that meant sitting out a season, or two seasons, or the season after that, he’d do it, and he’d do it every time. 

Levi meant more to him than football did, even if football was his best asset. Erwin wasn’t very smart, and even though whenever he told Levi he got flicked on the forehead, only to be told that it wasn’t true, he knew it was. He knew that if he really focused on something and really wanted to understand, he’d understand it, but, the motivation wasn’t there when he had football. Football promised him money, and luxury, and fame, and more than enough access to his favorite game in the world and he didn't have to do a smidge of homework to get there but, for Levi, he’d be willing to go without it. 

He didn’t really need money, or luxury, or fame. He’d be fine with working retail or maybe, making hamburgers for a while if it meant that he had Levi because he needed Levi, and Levi outweighed anything that was on the other side of the scale, even if that other side was himself. Levi made him happier than football ever could, and the rest of it was common sense. 

Levi was his snowflake, and he didn’t want him to melt away and disappear. 


	21. A Sticky Situation

Levi laid on top of Erwin, his hips straddling Erwin’s hips and his chest pressing against Erwin’s chest and as he pulled away from Erwin’s mouth, he managed to snag his bottom lip and tug on it before Erwin pulled him back in for more. 

The day was Monday, and as the singing of awakening birds welcomed them to a new day, subtle rays of sunshine peeked through the curtains of their bedroom, sending ripples throughout as the wind rustled through the trees. The weekend was over, and it seemed neither of them was quite ready to accept that yet as Erwin’s hands made their way down Levi’s curvaceous body, massaging each mound of Levi’s behind with the palms of his hands only to discover that Levi wasn’t wearing any sort of underwear. 

Levi’s skin was soft and smooth, his body warm and light and fitting into his embrace ever so perfectly, and yet, as Levi moved his hands from his face to his chest, he sat up. 

Erwin gazed up at him, as the sight of Levi in his clothes was always successful in making his heart pump as he sat his hands on Levi’s hips, and ran them up and down his thighs. 

“We can’t,” Levi said, looking down at him as he shook his head though Erwin could tell from blush on his cheeks that he didn’t mean it. 

“Why not?” Erwin asked him, smirking to himself as he led his hands back up to Levi’s hips, slowly, and carefully, grinding his clothed cock against the very place he knew Levi wanted him inside of, and as Levi’s thighs tensed, he watched as Levi stifled what would have been a hum as his cheeks darkened. 

“W-We’ll be late..”

“Being late once all year isn’t that bad,” Erwin told him, and he’d know, considering he’d been late more times than he'd been on time. 

Levi shook his head furiously, whining as he dug his nails into the skin of Erwin’s chest as it was clear that he was stuck in between wanting a flawless academic record, and wanting Erwin burrowed deep inside of him and all Erwin could do was watch. His hips had never stopped moving; he watched as Levi’s nipples pierced through the cotton tee he wore, and it was easy to tell that he was aroused. Not once did Levi look at him, and Erwin knew that if he did, he’d get his way, and he’d have Levi moaning in seconds but as Erwin’s eyes trailed down his body, he became fixated on a little something. A little something poking through the tee that was thrice his size, just between Levi’s thighs, and staining it with something wet. 

Levi’s body could never lie to him, and as Erwin reached out, lifting Levi’s t-shirt up to his stomach, he wasn’t at all surprised to see Levi’s cock, twitching, and throbbing, with pure anticipation as pre-cum oozed from the slit; and it made Erwin want to put his mouth on it. 

His precious Levi didn’t want to be late, fine, Erwin was good at math. They had forty minutes: fifteen of which would be used due to them showering, ten for them getting dressed, and another ten for them to actually get to class. He had five minutes. Erwin could deal with that, he could do five minutes. And with one moment, he lifted Levi from his hips and sat him directly on his face, he hooked his arms around his thighs, ensuring that Levi couldn’t run or squirm and just as Levi was about to push his head away in panic, Erwin’s tongue had found a way inside him already, and all he could do was moan. 

Levi wanted to hate it, he wanted to be mad at him and make his body stop reacting but it seemed his body spoke a language he didn’t know that Erwin was  _ more _ , than just fluent in. 

* * *

Erwin made Levi cum three times, without penetration, with his mouth alone, in five minutes. Levi said he didn’t want to be late and he knew if he gave Levi what he really wanted they’d be late and so, he did nothing but treat Levi like the Prince he was, and he didn’t need anything else. He got pleasure out of devouring Levi, and he enjoyed listening to him scream his name, and yank his hair, and try to wriggle away and truthfully, Levi didn’t know how Erwin did it. He didn’t know how Erwin was so good with his mouth. He didn’t know how he was so good with his tongue. He didn’t know how he managed to memorize every single spot inside of him and torture them all simultaneously and as Levi sat beside Erwin, dressed in his hoodie, sipping on the box of fruit punch Erwin had bought him before class, he crossed his legs, and tried not to think about it. 

They were in the middle of English class, and though normally Levi was always paying attention and soaking up information at all times, he couldn’t; not when what Erwin had just done to him was still fresh in his mind. 

He loved it. He loved it when he dragged his tongue across his entrance, circling around it before curling his tongue and pushing it inside. He loved how hot it was inside him, licking every single one of his nerve-endings at once before pushing deeper, and deeper, and melting him from the inside out. He loved that once Erwin had tasted him, and tasted all of him, he wasted no time in ripping his legs apart, and fucking him in every angle and as Levi uncrossed his legs and squeezed his thighs together, he made a noise that was loud enough for Erwin to hear. 

Remarkably, Erwin had been focusing on what the professor was talking about, and thanks to his luck, they’d be watching some sort of film that they’d later analyze and pick apart. But now, the lights were turned off. It was dim, given that the windows of their classroom allowed light to enter but it was bright enough for Erwin to see the desperate urgency in Levi’s eyes as he looked down at him. 

Levi had clung to his arm, and at first, he thought he was cold because he was always cold but then, catching a glimpse of Levi’s thighs as they rubbed together beneath the table, he knew it was something else. 

Erwin had been his boyfriend for three months and he knew when Levi was horny and when he wasn’t but this was something different. Levi looked needy; as if he needed something, and needed it right now, and as their professor pulled the projector screen down from the ceiling, Erwin gave Levi a peck, letting him know that he understood. 

Levi watched as the arm he clung to slid over. Levi was only wearing leggings, there were no zippers or buttons or underwear and so, he watched as Erwin’s hand sunk into his pants, and in between his legs. 

Erwin kept his eyes forward, not wanting to give away what he was doing to Levi underneath the table as his little hole quivered at the prospect of being touched before sucking the entirety of Erwin’s middle finger in. Levi was holding back the noises he wanted to make, yes, but the small, and delicious moan that had escaped him just then made Erwin want to fuck him into next week. 

Levi was hot, inside. He was wet, and his walls were trembling and tightening around his digit and yet, as Erwin pulled his finger out, and pushed it back in, he listened to Levi as he gasped, quietly. 

Levi’s lips were parted, not wanting to bring any attention their way by breathing too loudly and panting but as Erwin’s finger quickened, his mouth widened. He could feel it, rubbing against the very nerve Erwin knew he couldn’t get enough of and as he grew more and more sticky, his hips had begun subconsciously rolling against Erwin’s finger. He held onto Erwin’s arm, digging his nails into his bicep and wrapping his fingers around his wrist, squeezing it tighter and tighter as Erwin’s finger pushed deeper and deeper and as Levi silenced his moan by hiding his face in Erwin’s arm; Erwin put another finger inside, and scissored them.

It was too loud. 

The squelching sound erupting from between Levi’s legs was too loud. 

Someone would hear. Someone would see them. Someone would catch them and turn the lights on and they’d be expelled and yet, Erwin’s fingers never stopped. 

Levi peeked out from Erwin’s arm, holding onto him even tighter as he watched as Erwin fingered him faster. The hand that held onto Erwin’s wrist lowered, now holding onto Erwin’s hand as he tormented his insides ever so devilishly as Levi’s eyes began to well. 

“E-Erwin..” Levi whispered, begging for the mercy that Erwin would never give him as Erwin knew Levi’s body could only take so much. 

He knew from Levi’s trembling thighs, constricting walls and how firmly he was holding onto him that he was close. 

Erwin looked down at him, watching as Levi’s legs gradually closed; he listened to Levi as he moaned, though it had been washed out by the sound of whatever it was the class was watching. Levi wanted Erwin to stop, he wanted Erwin to stop or slow down and suddenly, Levi’s body convulsed. His legs began to shake, his walls began to quiver, the fingers in Erwin's arm began to gouge further and further in and as Levi let out a long sigh, followed by a sharp gasp, Erwin knew that he came, but, he racked his body even more.

Both of Levi’s hands flew down to Erwin’s, trying to get his fingers to stop as his body drowned in oversensitivity but they wouldn’t. Levi tried to squeeze his legs tighter, he tried to get Erwin out of him but he was too weak, he tried to sit up and slump back down but Erwin’s fingers wouldn’t allow him to get away and he couldn't bear it any longer. Levi couldn’t do it again, he couldn’t hold it again, he couldn’t cum again and Erwin’s fingers only continued to rub against the nerves he’d just abused. He couldn’t take it, he couldn’t take this much, he couldn’t take Erwin’s fingers and he couldn’t take the noises and he couldn’t take how good it felt and as he slid his hands over Erwin’s knuckles; feeling his fingers push in and out so rapidly, he whined, before cumming again. 

And this time, his fingers slowed. 

Levi took a deep breath, holding it, and swallowing before exhaling as he caught up with himself. Every inch of his body felt tingly. His legs were shaking and his heart was pounding and he felt as if he were dreaming or floating or flying or something in between but as Erwin brought him back to reality, with a gentle kiss on the cheek, he hummed. 

He could still feel them. 

He could still feel Erwin’s fingers, pulling all the way out, and pushing back in, again, and again, but at a pace meant to calm Levi from his high and Levi only spread his legs, and let Erwin have his way with him. He let his eyes drift away as he licked his lips, caressing the knuckles of the fingers that spoiled him with one hand as the other took the time to stroke Erwin’s arm.  He loved this. Before he couldn’t handle it but this, this felt like heaven, and he didn’t want it to stop for even a minute, and Erwin could tell from the quiet, soft, and adorable noises that left Levi.

His fingers were absolutely coated in Levi’s slick, and he knew without a doubt that Levi had made a mess of himself but, he had a few extra clothes in his gym locker, and it wasn’t a far jog if Levi stood in the bathroom and cleaned himself up. 

But as their eyes made contact, he met Levi’s mouth with his own, and now, Erwin had discovered something else about Levi. 

Levi’s sex drive was unearthly. 


	22. Game On

Today may have been Levi’s best day in his whole entire life. Not only did he get to fool around with Erwin more than once but, he got to walk around all day in his big, gorilla-sized clothing that always carried the scent of his cologne, and he couldn’t have been happier. He texted him all day, and Erwin had finished all his classes and was already home, waiting for him. Levi wanted to stop by the Art Club, not to stay but mostly to check in and say hi to Petra and some other folks and as he twisted the door handle and walked in, his ears were met with the soothing music they always played in here, but, his peace was quickly ruined. 

“Well well well,” Petra looked at him, folding her arms. “I didn’t know you were still part of this club,” she said, making Levi wave a hand. 

“Just because I don’t come as often doesn’t mean I left,” he said, making his way toward her after shutting the door behind him. 

“So, what’s your excuse?” 

“I have a boyfriend.” Levi grinned happily. 

“And that’s an excuse, how?”

“We’re busy most of the time. Or maybe,  _ all _ , the time.”

“Yuck,” Petra gagged, soon pulling Levi in for a hug as he giggled in her arms. “Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t stop by every now and again for a few minutes. It’s kinda boring here without you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, there’s no one here to laugh at my tall people jokes.”

“Would you be mad at me if I told you I wasn’t staying tonight?” Levi asked, watching Petra pull back, and revert to her crossed arms. 

“You know, I’m starting to think Erwin is stealing you from me,” she said, and Levi only laughed as he spun around on the tips of his toes, and made his way back towards the door. 

“He had me first,” he waved goodbye before walking through the door and leaving, and Petra only snickered. 

“What a slut,” Petra joked, cackling to herself. 

She never thought she would see the day where Levi was hopelessly infatuated with someone. Levi looked as if he had nothing but lollipops and gumdrops on his mind but, Petra wasn’t annoyed or upset, even if she pretended to be. Levi deserved it. He deserved to be happy. He deserved to be loved.

And by the looks of it, he was being loved thoroughly. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Levi was bringing home pizza for dinner. He didn’t have the energy to cook and he didn’t think Erwin did either and even if Erwin did cook, he wouldn’t eat it. He was sick of spaghetti and meatballs for what would be the fourth time this week. 

As he unlocked the door and stepped in, he could already hear Erwin’s voice, but he didn’t think much of it. He locked the door behind him before setting his key in the small dish that laid atop of the table in their entryway before toeing off his shoes and walking in. He set the pizza down on the kitchen counter before going to find Erwin, only to spot him hunched over in the living room in a t-shirt and sweatpants, with his headphones on his head as he played some online game with his friends. 

“Dude, he was _right_ , _fucking_ _there_ ,” Erwin cussed, not having seen or noticed Levi as he walked over to him with a smile. 

“What do you mean right there isn’t a callout?” he argued. “He was fucking point-blank you dumbass, you’re just bad at the g—”

“Everything okay?” Levi stopped him, leaning over as he stamped a kiss onto Erwin’s cheek as he muted his microphone. 

“Hey, when’d you get home?” he asked him, as if he wasn’t just chewing someone out a minute ago. 

“Just now,” Levi told him. “I’m gonna go change but, I brought home pizza for dinner,” he said, watching Erwin’s eyes light up. 

“Did you—“

“Get pepperoni and olives on top? ‘Course I did.”

“You know how sexy you are? Like seriously, do you have any idea how beautiful you—“

“Oh shut up,” Levi laughed as he gave him a playful shove, soon getting up from the couch to go change like he said he would. 

“No, I mean it,” Erwin called after him, “I don’t think you know just how lucky I am to have you and how much I—“

“Play your stupid game you loser,” Levi stopped him again, walking into his bedroom and slamming the door hard enough so that Erwin knew he wasn’t listening, and Erwin only smiled before unmuting his microphone and doing as Levi told him to. 

Levi took his clothes off and tossed them into the bin with the rest of the dirty laundry. He walked over to Erwin’s side of the dresser, stealing yet another article of his clothing but this time, it was a sweater, and Levi was quick to throw it on as well as a pair of his socks.  Call it, perks of having a boyfriend over six-foot: wearing his tops meant he didn’t have to wear pants, or underwear for that matter, wearing his socks kept him warm, since they ran up to just below his knee, and to top it off, hugs and cuddles and all things involving the difference in their sizes were the best, and those were just facts. 

Levi stepped out of this bedroom, hair-tie between his teeth as he gathered all of his hair into one whilst walking to retrieve the pizza from the kitchen. He threw his hair up and into a ponytail, returning to Erwin shortly with paper plates in one hand and the pizza box in the other, and as he set each on the coffee table in front of the couch, he sat down. He flipped the box open and got himself a slice before curling up, and watching Erwin play his video games. He came to like watching Erwin play for some reason, and he didn’t know why, watching him play was similar to watching him play football, kind of, as if Erwin was showing him some sort of athleticism but, it entertained him either way.

Levi took a bite of his slice was he watched. He looked to be playing some military-based first-person shooter game that relied more on strategy and practice than it did anything else. Levi wasn’t as much of a gamer as Erwin was but, he knew some things. One of those things being the name of the game, which was Call of Duty.

“Who’s winning?” Levi asked sweetly, watching as with a flick of Erwin’s thumb, he managed to snipe someone across the map.

“Right now, them, they’re up by one,” Erwin told him, as whenever he played he always lifted one of his headphones off of his ear so that he could hear the game in one, and hear Levi in the other without constant gunfire.

“Do you get anything if you win?” he asked curiously.

“I might move up a rank, or maybe, an upgrade for my loadout,”

“What’s a loadout?”

“It’s the weapons you load into each match with,” Erwin said patiently as Levi nodded, and took another bite.

“So, you can like, upgrade your guns and stuff?” Levi chewed, watching as Erwin took a few bullets to the back before circling around and no-scoping the poor guy.

“Yeah,” Erwin said, healing himself in the game, “I can make it so my guns have better scopes or less recoil and better sights and—” Erwin got headshotted in a matter of seconds, and he clearly, didn’t see it coming. 

“Hold on a second,” Erwin told Levi, sliding his other headphone on his ear so that his headset was fully on as he turned his microphone back on. “Mike, what the  _ fuck  _ happened to rushing with me, I thought we were pushing.”

Levi sat beside him quietly. He knew how seriously Erwin took his games and how seriously he took losing even more. There were times like this where Levi found it hard to believe that Erwin was gay, considering he played a game like this, but, who was Levi to stereotype him. Erwin was pissed, and if Levi’s knowledge was correct, apparently he and Mike were supposed to go and in and kill all the bad guys before they had a chance to come up with some sort of strategy but Mike was off somewhere lollygagging and it cost them not only Erwin's in-game life, but also the round. Erwin was down by two, and somehow his fit of rage was amusing but, attractive.

He’d only seen Erwin angry two times in his life.

The first time was when Erwin gave his teammate a black eye, and the second time was just now. It was hard to make Erwin angry, really hard, but when he was angry, it was damn near impossible to calm him down. For some reason, the sight of Erwin when he fumed made Levi steam, and heat up in a good way. He didn’t know if it was the drop in his voice or the vein in his neck that protruded or simply, the thought of Erwin reciprocating that same energy onto him, in the bedroom.

Either way, he thought it was hot, and as Erwin began the next, and final round, Levi had come up with an idea.

If Mike fucked up like that again, he’d leave the game and throw his console out the window, and he wasn’t joking. All Erwin wanted was to move up a rank and maybe gain a level, that was it. He wasn’t asking for the fucking world and as he loaded in, he started to focus again.

“Don’t waste your time looting,” Erwin told Mike.

“If we don’t loot, how do you expect us to get armor plates?” Mike asked.

“We’ll pick ‘em up from the guys we kill, easy,”

“You mean from the guy who shot you in your fucking dome last round?” Mike laughed at him.

“Fuck you, you’re shit at the game.” he trash-talked. 

Just then, Levi crawled over to Erwin. He knew he was playing his game, and he knew he wanted to win, but, Levi wanted his attention, and all of it.

He kissed Erwin’s cheek, continuing to pepper his face with kisses and leave every inch of his skin marked by his lips as he trailed his mouth beneath his jawline. Erwin hadn’t noticed it yet, but now, he moved towards Erwin’s ear, lifting the headset off of it and taking his time as he traced the many folds of his ear with his tongue before sucking on the lobe of it, he sent chills through Erwin’s body, and he didn’t stop. Erwin was getting a little distracted but, he didn’t stop.

He wanted to hurry up and make Erwin lose so that he’d fuck him to sleep.

With some more kisses and nibbles and licks, Levi slinked all the way down to the floor, and between Erwin’s knees. He looked up at him, knowing very well that Erwin was becoming more hot and bothered by the second but he never slowed. He sat on his knees, sliding his hands up Erwin’s thighs and gliding them upwards as he lifted his shirt, and then, he ran his tongue between the small valleys of Erwin’s muscle, kissing every inch of his lower stomach.

Erwin didn’t know what Levi was doing. He didn’t know what Levi was doing but he didn’t plan on losing and he didn’t want to stop and ask him what he was doing from fear of it costing him the game. He didn’t want to look away from the TV, he didn’t want to look anywhere but the screen but then, he could feel Levi removing his sweatpants and taking his briefs with them. As he rolled and pressed the buttons on his controller with precise accuracy, he could feel Levi’s thin, deft fingers coil around his length, and now, not only did it become harder to concentrate, but Erwin became harder overall.

Levi laid his head on Erwin’s thigh, running his tongue over his mouth as he sat there and pumped his cock, watching as Erwin grew in his hand and feeling every throb and palpitation against his palm as he stiffened before him.

Erwin hadn’t said a word, he didn’t say a single thing as he fixated himself on the game but then, as something hot, and tight, and wet surrounded his cock, his breath hitched. Erwin wasn’t looking directly at Levi but within his peripheral vision, he could see Levi’s head moving up and down at his own leisure, and it was then when Erwin’s eyelids began to flutter.  Levi’s tongue blistered, his mouth was stifling, and the sounds Levi made caused Erwin's mouth to salivate and while his breath quickened and his chest heaved, Erwin was quick to mute his microphone as long, deep moan escaped past Erwin's lips, and Levi had never heard a sound like that come from Erwin before.

Erwin couldn’t focus, he found himself staring at the screen blankly before remembering that he had a game to win but it was no use. The feeling of the back of Levi’s throat made him unable to sit still, the hollowing of his cheeks made him shiver and then, he took a deep breath, listening to the wet pop as Levi took his mouth off of him, and he gave up with ease. He was quick to toss his headset and controller elsewhere and as he looked down at Levi, and met his eyes with his own, Levi smiled coyly as he looked up at him in triumph.

Erwin’s eyes never left him; Levi held the base of his cock, staring up at him ever so innocently as he dragged his tongue over the length of it, striping bands of his saliva all over Erwin's cock while it pulsed against his mouth. Levi only breathed through his mouth, allowing Erwin to feel the constant heat of his tongue as he traced a circle around the slit on the crown of his length before taking hold of him with both of his hands, and sliding Erwin into his mouth. He gazed up at him, synchronizing the strokes and twists of his hands and wrists while bobbing his head up and down and Erwin’s muscles tensed without difficulty.  He exhaled, moaning afterward as his toes wiggled and curled. Every inch of him had grown taut. His body was swamped with heat and exhilaration and as Levi removed his hands and toyed with his balls, he could only watch with a pounding heart as his cock disappeared within the confines of Levi’s seemingly small mouth. He watched Levi through eyes that were barely open, watching him as he throated the entirety of his cock again, and again, and again, letting him delve deeper and deeper into his mouth as his cock became rigid and slick with desire, his stomach tangled.

With a loud groan, Erwin laid his head all the way back, permitting Levi to do whatever he wanted as long as he didn’t stop and as he stared up at the ceiling, he listened to the sloppy and messy noises of Levi sucking, and slurping, and licking, and swallowing and as his calves flexed and his thighs stiffened and his body toughened, his stomach pulled in as he inhaled, and looked down at Levi.

“I’m gonna cum..” Erwin whispered in a shallow breath, warning Levi as his legs began to shift but Levi didn’t do a thing but keep going.

He’d never seen Erwin like this, and it was hot.

Erwin was breathless. He was panting and gasping and breathing just as heavily as he was during all of his practices and all of his games only this time, it was Levi’s doing. He was the one who made Erwin act up like this, and it made Erwin all the more sexy. Levi had Erwin clawing at his own shirt. Levi had Erwin whispering swears and praying to God. Levi had Erwin right in front of him with his legs spread and his eyes clouded in sweet, helpless paradise and while Levi proceeded in sucking the soul out of him, Erwin paused.

Levi’s mouth felt better and better by the second and Erwin couldn't think clearly if at all. The only thing flashing in his brain was Levi’s name, over and over and over again and as his breath grew shorter and shorter and shorter, forcing him to hold it as he prepared to let go, with creased eyebrows and a choked, airy moan, Erwin came.

Levi listened to Erwin as he groaned, feeling him fill his mouth as he encased the head of his cock with his lips, and swallowed it all, like a champ.

Erwin shuddered as Levi pulled his mouth off of his cock, a line of both cum and saliva stringing from his bottom lip to the tip of his cock before Levi twirled his tongue around and cut it, slapping the weight of Erwin’s cock onto his tongue a few times before moving closer, and cleaning him up, with small kitty licks, as he savored the deliciousness.

This was love, right? 

What Levi had just done to him and still was doing to him, that was the sworn, tried-and-true, genuine embodiment of immense love and adoration. It had to be.

Levi licked the corners of his mouth before setting a plethora of kisses all over Erwin’s now weeping cock before pulling both his underwear and pants back up, tucking him in. He stood up, lifting Erwin’s headset off of the couch and sitting them atop his head before handing him his controller, and then, and only then, did he lean in, and press his lips onto his now stunned, soulless, and drained gamer of a boyfriend.

He separated their mouths before smiling at him.

“Play your stupid game, loser,” was what Levi said to him before kissing the side of his mouth, and disappearing into their bedroom, and Erwin hadn’t been more bewildered in his life.

“Hey, Blondie, we’re getting our asses kicked, did you fucking die or something?” Mike asked.

Yes. If this is what death felt like, then yes. He’d die happily with no regrets.

Erwin unmuted his microphone, sitting there and trying to grasp what exactly just happened as he looked to have been brainwashed, frankly, but only one thing made itself clear.

“I’m gonna marry him,” said Erwin, quietly. “I’m gonna marry Levi.”

“We know, now hurry up and join the game, we’re fucking losing.”


	23. Firsts

The bright rays of the rising sun illuminated the room with natural light, as that same beam bounced off of the white sheets, white comforters, and white pillowcases and duvets of their bedroom. The winds howled outside and the curtains fluttered, all while the trees swayed this way and that and it was obvious that summer was on its way back and that their academic year was coming to an end, the view of it all was beautiful, and nearly breathtaking. But that wasn't what Levi was gasping at as he sighed, and pushed all of the air out of his lungs.

Levi had awoken to Erwin between his legs, and he was enjoying every second.

He looked down at Erwin, holding the wrists of the hands that pinched and toyed and thumbed at his chest and as Erwin’s head sunk lower, he moaned. Levi only licked his lips, feeling Erwin suck around his entrance before pushing his tongue inside, and Levi made no attempt to close his legs. He pivoted his hips, basking in the warm, delightful sensation of whatever Erwin was doing to him down below, and somehow, it was different.  Erwin was always gentle with him but, he never took things this slow. Erwin always made him feel amazing but, it didn’t seem like he wanted him to scream or yell. Erwin had always touched him and felt him and made Levi feel like he was on cloud nine but somehow, this was different, and somehow, Erwin changed, and Erwin never changed.

Erwin moved his hands, running them down Levi’s body before caressing his thighs, and holding onto the backs of his knees as he spread his legs even wider. Levi’s fingers laced themselves in Erwin’s hair, moaning as Erwin’s tongue frisked and frolicked within him and as Levi’s body was overcome with heat and electricity, Erwin gazed up at him, and he stopped. Levi couldn’t explain the look Erwin was giving him. He couldn’t explain what he saw in those arctic eyes but he knew that they were different, and as his hands moved to hold the sides of his head, he felt Erwin kiss the very place he’d be deep inside of in a few moments before spreading those kisses throughout Levi’s thighs, and across his skin.

Erwin turned Levi over and onto his stomach, sliding a pillow beneath his hips so that they remained raised at all times before kneeling behind him. He was between Levi’s legs, making it so that Levi’s knees were on the outside of his own and as Levi hugged his arms around the pillow in front of him, he looked back, peeking back at Erwin with a quiet hum as he watched him. Erwin held onto Levi’s hips, his palms massaging and kneading the roundness of his backside before leaning down, and pressing a kiss on each of his cheeks, and trailing them up his spine and as Levi arched his back, and lifted his hips, Erwin’s kisses made their way up to his neck and then, Erwin whispered something in his ear. 

“I’m gonna put it in, okay?” Erwin said gently, and all Levi did was nod as his blush darkened and spread to his ears, all while he nuzzled his face into the pillow. 

Erwin never told him when he was going to put himself in. He never gave him such a vocal warning as he just had and he never treated him as gently as he was now and he never kissed his cheek, or caressed him, or held him, or made him feel so warm and fuzzy inside and Levi couldn’t help but get red in the face. He didn’t know what had changed in Erwin. He didn’t know what had changed between them. He didn’t know why Erwin was treating him like the most precious and fragile thing in the world but then, as he felt something big, and hot pushing inside of him, he held his breath.

Erwin had entered him numerous times but this, this felt different. 

It felt better. Erwin felt bigger. His body felt hotter and shakier and as he moaned, his mouth was met with another pair of lips and as his body was struck with pleasure, he curved his back into a perfect arch, and submitted to Erwin’s ravenous hips with a quickening heart. He rutted his hips, quietly moaning into Erwin’s mouth as every time Erwin drove into him, he pushed his hips back, syncing their movements and meeting every one of Erwin’s thrusts without fail. He felt how deep Erwin was, he felt all of those beautiful ridges and veins of Erwin's cock rubbing against all of his nerves and pressing against his prostate over and over and over again in an addictive torture and as Levi pulled away from Erwin’s mouth, he gasped sharply. 

He peered back as he watched Erwin’s hips. Erwin was being so tender, he was being so sweet and he wasn’t going too fast nor was he too slow, but he was deeper than he'd ever been before and it made Levi lose his mind every time he pushed so far inside of him. It felt good, it felt so, _so_ good, and as he moaned, he squeezed around him. He didn’t want Erwin to stop, he didn’t want Erwin going anywhere. He could feel his chest on his back and his breath on his ear and his arms propped up on either side of him and then, and only then, did he realize what this was.

Erwin was loving him.

Erwin’s hands were pressed down into the mattress on either side of Levi, his entire frame hiding the smaller body below him and as he made love to Levi, he felt Levi’s hand hold onto his wrist, before trailing up, and holding onto his bicep.

Levi had lifted his head from the pillow, only to turn back, and look at the man who held his heart.

Erwin watched as Levi's eyes welled, and filled with water. He watched as his mouth fell in a silent cry and while their breaths mingled, they stared into each other's gaze. He heard every sound Levi made, every soft moan, every quiet whine, every small whimper while his walls tightened. He felt Levi's fingernails sinking themselves into his skin and muscle and as he plunged deeper and deeper, listening to Levi’s breath pick up, listening to the adorable sighs in his name that spilled from his mouth, listening to the sound of their hips crashing; Erwin never looked anywhere but into Levi’s eyes, and then, he heard it.

“I..love you.. Erwin..” Levi said.

That wasn’t fair.

That was a low-blow and Levi knew it was and he did it on purpose. Telling him he loved him for the first time, telling him while they were having sex, telling him with that face and that expression knowing fully that he wouldn’t be able to handle it. Levi knew how fast his heart would beat. Levi knew how nervous he’d get. Levi knew how weak and vulnerable it would make him and yet, as Erwin pulled his hips back, and propelled them even further, watching as Levi’s body bounced blow him, and Levi could feel his own slick dripping out of him, and running down his thighs.

“I love you too,” Erwin smiled, and as Erwin silenced him with a kiss, not letting anyone else but himself hear what he was about to do to Levi; he pushed his knees apart, causing Levi’s legs to spread, and gave it to him even harder, and the moan that followed made Erwin fuck him into the sheets.

It was then when Levi knew.

It was then when Levi knew he’d fallen in love with the man of his dreams.


	24. Lovely

It felt like Erwin was in his stomach. Levi knew that couldn’t be anatomically correct or even, possible, but, it felt like it, and he wasn’t complaining in the least bit. The only thing occupying his mind was that he’d told Erwin that he loved him, and Erwin said it back, and that jittery, happy, cheery, and tingly feeling hadn’t left him yet. It kept replaying in his mind, he kept re-running the exact mood and tone of those three little words as they left Erwin’s mouth and he couldn’t get over it, and he refused to.  Erwin said he loved him, and that was all that mattered and honestly, Levi’s day was made. Nothing could bring him down, nothing. There was nothing that could happen to him that could ruin his day. Someone could shave his head, or cut off his finger, or punch him in the face for all he cared but it wouldn’t bring him down.

Erwin Smith said he loved him, and thinking about it, and thinking about  _ him _ , made his heart scream.

Levi himself didn’t know what made him want to tell Erwin that he loved him, but, the thought that there was no specific reason as to why he said it made it all the more worthwhile. He didn’t know why he said it, but he wanted to. He didn’t know why he said it, but he needed to. He didn’t know if it was because the way Erwin was holding him or the way he was kissing him or the way he panted into his ear as he made love to him but he knew that he loved him. He knew there was no other man that could replace him. He knew there was no other man who could love him. He knew there was no other man who could make him feel the way Erwin did. He knew there was no man able to make him as happy, make him feel so cared for, or make him feel so secure, and safe, and okay, and free. 

He knew there was no other man capable of fitting the size thirteen and a half shoe of his boyfriend, and for that reason alone, he came to love him, and love him more and more every second.

He wanted to tell him again. He wanted to remind him every day. He wanted to make sure Erwin knew that he was the rightful owner of his mind, body, and soul and that all of him belonged to him and only him and he wanted to love Erwin and love him to the best of his ability for the rest of his life for as long as he lived and he wanted to vow never to stop, and never to quit and the only thing that irked him was the fact that he hadn’t told him sooner but, it was okay.

Erwin loved him, and  _ God _ did he love him so much more.

Levi didn’t know what to do with himself. He couldn’t maintain one, singular, constant thought without remembering the words he and Erwin shared earlier this morning and recollecting it all over again made his body wiggle and vibrate and jump with joy and for a moment, he thought he may have had a stroke.

It was a simple, little word with four letters.

Before, when the word love was written in any book in any literature or said in any movie, Levi never thought nothing of it. Love was something that someone felt for someone else and more often than not, that feeling was mutual. Love was something shared between two people or three people or however many people that brought and promised trust and loyalty and lots of it. Love was something that made people do stupid things and say equally stupid things and Levi didn’t understand it because he hadn’t experienced it but now, he had, and he understood better than anyone else.

Love was knowing how much someone loved someone else and wanting to love them so much more that it became a never-ending challenge of who could love who more. Love was knowing every little thing about someone and still wanting to discover more just so that they could become even closer. Love was supporting someone unconditionally and remaining by their side when times got rough or when nights got cold or when days grew dark and love was something that never disappeared, no matter how many pictures that were deleted from a camera roll, no matter how many times someone was blocked, no matter how many memories were erased, and no matter how much it hurt.

English class was over, and Erwin had walked Levi all the way to his next class but now, as they stood beside the door, ensuring that they weren’t in the way of other students as they walked in; Levi had his arms around Erwin’s neck, and Erwin had his arms around Levi’s waist.

Erwin felt Levi pulling away from his mouth, and though he yearned for some more of that chapstick on his lips, he opened his eyes to see Levi, smiling right at him, with those big, beautiful eyes and he was gorgeous. He was gorgeous a year ago, in the treehouse, he was gorgeous a few months ago, at that Korean restaurant, and he was even more gorgeous, right here, right now, in his arms, and Levi was all his.

“I love you,” Levi said softly, and Erwin couldn’t control the muscles in his face as he grinned back down at him.

“You love me?” Erwin asked him.

“I do love you,” Levi nodded with an adorable giggle that made his chest warm.

“Really?”

“Mm-hm.”

“You sure?”

“Very sure.”

“Even if I make you mad?”

“I’ll love you even more if you did that,” Levi said, making sure that his ridiculously big lug of a boyfriend knew that he had him, and had him for good.

“In that case, I’ll have no choice but to love you even more.”

“That’s impossible.” Levi never stopped smiling.

“You know what else is impossible?”

“What is, tell me,”

“Waking up from a trauma-induced coma that would’ve turned any man into a vegetable and remembering everything,” he said, before feigning a gasp that made Levi laugh, “But wait, I did that, didn’t I? Didn’t I—”

“Shut up,” Levi said, hoisting himself up and onto the tops of his toes as he kissed Erwin, one more time, before they’d both be late.

Erwin savored Levi’s lips this time around, moving his head to the right as Levi moved his to the left, and just like that, fireworks were set off, and as he separated their mouths, he looked down at his precious little thing before telling him what he wanted to hear, and what he wanted to say so very badly.

“I love you too,” Erwin told him, watching as Levi’s smile returned.

“Tell me more often, would you?”

“I’ll tell you whenever you want, and I’ll tell you every day after that,”


	25. Nostalgic Beginnings

“Welcome to the University of Maria!” Levi smiled, and if that sounded familiar, it should’ve.

As Levi stood in the middle of campus with his hair perfectly and flawlessly flattened and straightened with a part in the middle, he wore a t-shirt with the university’s logo on it and paired with this, he wore his most flattering pair of jeans, before finishing his outfit for the day with some white, slide-on plimsolls. Levi had been tasked with touring any and all incoming freshmen throughout campus, but that wasn’t the only thing.

Three more years had gone by, he was now a senior who’d be graduating this year within those three years, a lot has happened. Petra and Nanaba graduated, but they still kept in touch. Levi’s career as a model launched, and though he wasn’t on magazine covers, he did make occasional debuts on pages five through eight, and people were starting to know him. He began to travel and go to shoots and in this, he started to meet people, meet people just like him, meet people his own age and as time passed, he became more and more renowned. He became an ambassador for Reiss Fashion, among many other things. Levi never knew his own beauty and until recently and so, he began to advertise beauty products, and skincare products, and soon enough, he created his own blog and eventual vlogging channel where he could connect and talk to those who followed him. He was an influencer beneath every definition of the word. His skin was perfect. His waist was small. He had the most immaculate figure, and though he signed a contract and swore to walk on any runway Historia Reiss pleased for the next year, another designer reached out to him.

And this one a representative of Vogue.

They’d already promised him a certain amount of reimbursement for his services, and let’s just say it was enough to make anyone a superstar and Levi couldn’t have been more elated. He was a model, a real-life, super-fucking-model, and he couldn’t believe it. The best thing about it was that those rumors about modeling that everyone hears weren’t true. Levi never starved himself, or felt like he wasn’t good enough, he felt like there were people better than him, or felt that he had to force himself to do something or act a certain way or feel like he had to impress everyone. He could be him, and little did he know that he was absolutely stunning in every way.

And as for Erwin, Erwin was still a dumb jock, if not dumber.

After a long conversation, Levi didn’t think it was fair that Erwin refrained from football just because he was worried. He didn’t think it was fair that he didn’t get to do something he loved to do just because he didn’t want him to get hurt because, Levi could hurt too. He could pull something, or sprain something, or maybe pop his ankle out of its socket with the shoes he had to model and though Erwin always rubbed the bunions and corns out of his feet as they soaked together in the bath after a long shoot or an even longer runway walk, rather than worrying, he just told him how proud he was, and how happy he was because he was happy, and somehow, it made sense. Levi was happy knowing that Erwin was happy because he was playing football and so, after that talk, Erwin went and scored touchdowns for his Levi. Like he always had.  Erwin later admitted to him that the twenty-five on his jersey really stood for Levi’s birthday, and ever since then, and every time before, Levi made sure he was present in every practice, and every game, and every scrimmage, no matter what. He made sure he was somewhere where Erwin could see him. He made sure he was somewhere where Erwin could hear him if he screamed. He made sure that Erwin always knew, that he was there, and that he’d never move, and their love only grew. 

The original football team that consisted of Mike, and Hannes, and Eld, and all the other guys eventually graduated but, every single one of those assholes came out to see Erwin’s Saturday night games, and every single one of them talked shit on the opposing team too. Erwin was set out with a whole new group of guys, and though he’d never share the bond he once shared with the guys he met his freshmen year, he trusted him, and they trusted him, and truthfully, who wouldn’t trust him?

Erwin became more of a legend than he had when he’d first arrived.

The year after his injury was his comeback year. He came back, and he came back hard, putting teams down and turning them into walking embarrassments as he led his team to victory while the doubled if not _tripled_ whatever his opponent had on him, and he made it look easy. He was the man who ran through Zeke Yeager and survived. He was the man who literally had been to hell and back. He was one of the rare percentage of men who God _made_ , for football, and anyone with eyes could see that. Throughout the years, all Erwin did was bulk up. He was never a fan of protein shakes or whatever that powdery asbestos other athletes consumed and since Levi took the liberty of cooking for him, all he did was eat, and grow, and grow, and grow, and for a while, Levi didn’t think he would stop.

Erwin stood at whopping six-seven and a half. He was hoping to reach six-foot-nine, mostly because he and Levi made a promise that if he did get that tall, they’d try the position, but that’s beside the point.

Erwin Smith was a name that everyone in the state of California knew, and he’d grown into a little bit of fame himself. He did a few commercials for Gatorade since he drank it so much, did a few shoots for Nike since he wore their compression gear, accepted a few sponsorships and donations from some unknown men who undoubtedly wanted to see him in the NFL in the future but, neither Erwin or Levi were thinking about what came next. They were focused on the now, and currently, Levi had responsibilities.

“Right now, we’re standing in the middle of campus,” Levi grinned. “Located here is the guidance office and additional administrative buildings that are always willing to help you out no matter the problem. Just remember that if you ever get lost, come here, and I always remember it because of the fountain, and you can follow all the hanging signs. North we have our community park, it’s open every day from six to ten and you’re allowed to do nearly everything but grill, or barbeque. South we have our personal café and library which, personally, I frequent a lot, and those are both open all day every day with the exception of holidays. East we have our shopping district and I’ll be sure to swing around there later so that everyone can stop by and purchase one of these wonderful tees,” he said, advertising his shirt, “And last but not least, west we have our rec-center, football stadium, swimming pool, tennis and basketball court, and all things sports-related.” he clapped his hands together. “Any questions so far?” he asked cheerfully.

Silence.

Nobody said a word but, nobody was looking, at him. They were all looking above him. Everyone was looking above him with open mouthes like there was a giant behind him. They were all gasping and whispering and pulling out their phones to snap a picture and then, Levi noticed the shadow that loomed over him, and remembered there could very well be a giant behind him after all, and that there was only one man able to produce this effect. And as he turned his head, and craned his neck, he was just as shocked as everyone else, as he could never truly get over it.

Another thing to note was Erwin Smith was nothing like Wikipedia said he was.

He was taller. He was hotter. His eyes were bluer. His hair was blonder. His biceps were bigger, his chest was wider, his shoulders were broader, his jaw was sharper, his lips were juicier and as all the female counterparts before him practically liquefied, Erwin only leaned down, and pressed a kiss on Levi’s cheek.

“Hey snowflake,” he smiled, Levi forcing himself to both remain calm and keep it PG as he cleared his throat, and avoided his boyfriend at all costs.

He knew if he even entertained him for a moment he would say something smart and think he was sly and Levi would turn into a meme all fucking year and he wouldn’t let it happen. _Ever_. And he was quick to rip his head back down and look at all the teenagers.

“I’m sure you all know Erwin Smith,” Levi began as now, he got some engagement with a few nods, “Erwin Smith is one of our very own. He is the Fullback of our football team and the epitome of our university and he’s sure to make us all proud and show others what we’re made of.” he said. “Erwin, is there anything you have to say to our freshmen?” Levi asked.

He expected something good, honestly. Maybe a cliche ‘work hard’, and ‘study even harder’, type thing but, what he’d get would be the complete opposite.

“Did he give you all a slip to fill out?” Erwin asked, as all the children nodded.

“Good,” he said. “If I find that  any of you give Levi a rating below five stars, I’ll crush you. Please take notice of the ring on his left hand. I put it there. It’s not moving. It’s not going anywhere. Remember that should you decide to speak to him in the future. Also, make sure to Vote Levi Ackerman for Student Body President because if you don’t, again, I will crush you.” he smiled. “Plus, he’s adorable, and if you cry enough, he’ll convince the administration to erase tardies off your record.”

They’d meme him. They’d make a meme about him for sure put him all over the internet and turn him into a laughing stock and Levi wanted to die. He wanted to die, right here. He didn’t care anymore, he wanted to be struck down, right here, right now, he was ready to go.

The ring Erwin had put on his finger was a promise ring he’d given to him on Levi’s birthday a few years back and anyone could see that but why did he have to go and fucking say it? He wasn’t ashamed of it, he could never be ashamed of it, in fact the for the first month or so he flaunted it but as the crowd laughed at Levi’s growing embarrassment on his cheeks as he lit up, and Erwin didn't help as he pointed at him.

“See? Cute.” Erwin observed with a smile and as cameras flashed in their direction, Levi glared at him with an oh so adorable pout.

“I  _ hate _ , you,” Levi stressed.

“I love you too, pumpkin,”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“You ruined me!” Levi yelled, but to Erwin, it sounded more like a whine. 

Erwin had followed Levi throughout his tour and took it the _fuck_ over, and Levi couldn’t have been more fucking humiliated. Erwin made a fool out of him in front of a bunch of eighteen-year-olds and he wanted to fucking die. All he did was point out how cute he was every once in a while and talk about how much he loved when he was serious and how gorgeous he was when he smiled and each comment made Levi want to jump off of the highest fucking pier he could. They both had made their way home, their home being a two-bedroom apartment with a balcony that required them to drive to campus every morning but, it was an upgrade that they could both afford, and after Levi slammed the bedroom door into Erwin’s face for having apparently ‘ruined’ him, Erwin smiled, and looked down at his feet as he slid his hands in his pockets.

“I ruined you?” Erwin asked.

“Yes!” Levi shouted. “How do you expect me to go back out there? In front of those people? They all think I’m just your boyfriend!”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“Yes, that’s a bad thing! ‘Cause I’m more than that! I’m my own person with my own name and I’m more than your boyfriend! I’m smart and I’m nice and I’m helpful and I’m good at Jenga and I’m—”

“You’re also super hot, you know that?” Erwin teased him on purpose, but as he listened in, he heard something that made his smile disappear completely.

Sniffling. Sniffling, and snuffling, and that could only mean that Levi was crying and Erwin’s hand reached for the doorknob immediately. He never liked to see Levi upset. He never liked to see Levi anything but happy and the fact that he was crying over something that he’d done made him feel a whole lot worse. He couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take it when his heart was crying or feeling down and as he tried repeatedly at the locked door, he knocked on it.

“Let me in,” he begged, setting both of his palms on the door as he listened to the painful sobs of the person most near and dear to his heart.

“Baby, open the door, please?” he asked gently, “I didn’t mean to make you upset, and you know that. I took it too far, you were right sweetheart, I shouldn’t have kept going like that, and I’m sorry, real sorry. Unlock the door for me, okay?” Erwin’s heart ached. He didn’t like this, he didn’t like this at all. He didn’t like not being able to comfort Levi, and he definitely didn't like that it was his fault. “Kitten, please, come over here and unlock the door, I messed up and I know I did, I said I was sorry and I still am sorry so please—”

Laughter.

Erwin’s ears were met with giggles he’d heard time and time again and though he figured it was a joke, the moment the door swung open was the moment he trapped Levi in his arms, and held him tight. Levi had done this to him before, many times; pretend to cry or pretend to be upset just to make Erwin feel bad and panic and it never failed, not once. Erwin never doubted that Levi's emotions weren't real and so, once Levi discovered he was his boyfriend's kryptonite, and he used it to his own advantage.

“Quit scaring me like that,” Erwin said, hugging Levi into his chest as Levi laughed some more, before snuggling into the touch of his big cuddly-wuddly teddy bear.

“Serves you right,” Levi said, happy that he got his revenge and as Erwin smothered him with a multitude of kisses that Levi couldn’t escape from even if he tried, Levi didn’t even make an attempt.

He stood there with his arms wrapped around Erwin’s torso as Erwin spoiled him, and kissed him all over. He knew he was just a big softie at heart and even though he tried so hard to be menacing, it never worked out for him, and that was another thing he loved about him. He loved that he never liked it when he cried. He loved that he spoiled him whenever he really did. He loved that he always gave him all of his attention no matter what. He loved his hugs and his kisses and his love and he loved Erwin because Erwin loved him. He loved him because Erwin promised to become his husband, and though Erwin never told him how much the dazzling, and sparkling ring that laid on his finger really costed him, he’d find out one day, and he knew he would.

He loved him because Erwin was going to be his forever, very soon.


	26. Clarity

Out of every room within their apartment with the exception of their bedroom, the balcony was where they spent the most time.

They’d decorated it themselves, having an apartment on the eleventh floor gave them access to the most beautiful view and so, they wanted to make it comfortable and cozy, and they did. There was a loveseat, a circular, wooden coffee table, fairy-lights wrapped around the railings and all sorts of homegrown natural plants sprouting quietly; one of those plants being marijuana. It was legal in California as long as they never surpassed six plants, and they never did. Erwin wouldn’t consider himself a drug dealer, but, scamming freshman and sophomores out of fifty bucks for an eighth? 

It was free real-estate.

Moments ago, Levi convinced Erwin to take part in his skincare routine. Levi sat on the bathroom counter and Erwin stood between his knees with his eyes closed as Levi applied some sort of clay mask that Levi swore would unclog his pores, or whatever that meant. Erwin only let him because he thought Levi looked like an avocado with that light green mask on his face, and he liked avocados, and Levi was still just as adorable as it was before.  It would take a few minutes for the mask to fully dry and so, after grabbing a throw blanket and pushing the sliding glass door that led to their balcony open, they wasted no time in lighting up, snuggling up beside each other, and sharing the blunt that Erwin had rolled just for them all while their faces dried, as they stared at the sunset. Getting high and getting high together was something they did nearly every afternoon and when they smoked, they never talked for some reason, and it wasn’t a rule or anything. 

Normally, they talked a lot, and they talked about everything. But when they were on the balcony, like this, the way they were right now, with Erwin’s arm around Levi and Levi’s arms around Erwin as he laid his head on his chest, and listened to his heartbeat, they didn’t talk because there was no need to. They didn’t talk because they were both pleased and complacent in just enjoying the space and company of one another and in addition to that, they didn’t talk because somehow, they both knew what was on each other’s minds and since that was true, all they did was sit, and blow smoke.

The future was what they were thinking about.

Where they’d end up, who’d they’d be, if they’d make it and when they’d make it and how their lives would be if they got that far and to all college students it was a terrifying thought. It was terrifying because everyone was taught that going to college secured a job and a check and a house and car and a chance to fulfill the American Dream but, that wasn’t always true, and that wasn't really what Levi wanted, and that wasn’t what Erwin wanted either. 

Sure, they’d get a job, and yeah, they’d get a house and a car and all of those things but after college, they’d be going in two separate directions.

Erwin was an athlete. Being an athlete meant training and becoming better and traveling and keeping in shape and being away for long periods of time when football season began and Levi was a model. Being a model meant waking up early and working and having long shoots and even longer flights and maintaining his image and though it seemed impossible in every angle it was looked at, all Erwin and Levi wanted was a chance to be by themselves. They were both people-persons; people who others followed and inspired and looked up to but, sometimes, if not, most times, Levi wanted to be Erwin’s person, and only Erwin’s person, and Erwin wanted to be Levi's.

Neither of them knew that college would end up turning them into minor up-and-coming celebrities and to make it even worse, neither of them knew they’d fall in love.

Being in love, and being in love with someone who they cared for tremendously made it hard to progress, and move forward. It was hard to get out of bed in the morning for football practice when Erwin wanted to stay, and stay a little while longer just so he could make fun of Levi’s morning breath. It was difficult to leave Erwin at the airport whenever Levi had a shoot somewhere when all he wanted to do was go home, and watch a movie with him. It became more and more unbearable to want to love the man that meant so much to them and not be able to because they had to go somewhere and be someplace to please someone, and the ringing of their phones and the blowing of the whistles and the flashing of cameras never stopped.

All they wanted was a chance at happiness, and it didn’t matter what it looked like as long as they had each other.

Erwin inhaled, filling his lungs with smoke before pinching the blunt with two fingers, and handing it to Levi before exhaling, and forcing the exhaust out of his nose. Levi took up, taking a small puff in nothing but silence as the opposite end burned a deep-orange color, and all Erwin did was lean down, and press a kiss onto his forehead.

They were both worrying, and they both knew.

They were both entering another phase of their lives and this time around, they weren’t quite sure if they’d have one another to hold and hang onto and it was nerve-racking thinking about not being together or having to be long-distance or not having a hand to clutch onto or not seeing each other for weeks and months and years but as Levi sighed, and let a cloud of smoke escape past his lips, he didn’t let himself become distressed.

They’d been together all their lives, the two of them. And if they made it this far, it was for a reason.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


After a drawn-out smoke session, it was time to eat. It was obvious that neither of them was in the mood to cook, let alone were able to cook, and so, they ordered out and got something delivered. Erwin ordered some sort of fast-food which consisted of various types of fried chicken and french fries and Levi ordered food from a nearby Japanese restaurant; in which case he bought sushi, and stir-fried vegetables, and a ton of noodles.

Usually, they’d eat in the living room and put something on the TV but, Levi had reached out his cellphone before tweeting those who followed him to ask him questions and mentioning that he’d be going live on Instagram to answer those questions with the company of his boyfriend, and that was all it took for his phone to combust.

Their high wasn’t as intense as it was an hour ago. It wasn’t like they were tripping or falling or running into things but as Levi set up what he called his makeshift-mukbang; showcasing all of their food on their kitchen counter and setting up Erwin’s cellphone on a tripod as he was always logged into his account on his phone, he started the broadcast, and he did so as he adjusted the waffle-knit sweater he stole from Erwin’s wardrobe.

He sat back, sitting in one of the kitchen stools before folding his legs so he sat crisscrossed before innocently taking a sip of his soda, and unlocking his phone so he could read off the questions.

It wasn’t often that Levi did this, and it was even less often that he got Erwin involved because he and Erwin took part in two different industries and two different scenes but, Levi was semi-high, and he’d seen other influencers do stuff like this so, why not?

He set his drink down gently, peering over to the livestream as he read over a few comments with a smile and a few hi’s and hello’s and as Erwin returned from the bathroom, Levi began.

“I know this is all a little impromptu, but, I was hungry, and so I thought it would be fun if I sat down and answered a few questions since I haven’t spoken to you guys in a while,” he said with a grin, and frankly, he was excited, he never really mentioned or brought Erwin up beside the very few pictures of the two of them he posted but now, Erwin walked into frame and sat himself down on the stool next to Levi; wearing some sweatpants and nothing more.

“For those who don’t know, this is my boyfriend Erㅡ”

“There’s people who don’t know?” Erwin asked Levi, as he was sure he made it publicly known that Levi was his one and only on numerous occasions.

“Well I don’t know,” Levi shrugged, lifting his chopsticks with one hand and balancing his phone in the other, “but that doesn’t matter, we’re supposed to be answering questions.”

Erwin couldn’t complain. He’d never done something like this and he still didn’t quite understand what was going on. He didn’t get the whole eating in front of people thing but, Levi was happy, and smiling, and as he lifted a few fries in his mouth, he watched as Levi scrolled through his phone for a question.

“Okay, so,” Levi said, dipping a piece of nigiri into some soy sauce, “how long have we been together?” he asked, sliding the sushi into his mouth while Erwin looked over at him.

“You’re asking me?” Erwin asked as Levi nodded and chewed. “Is this a test?” Erwin asked again, making Levi laugh as he covered his mouth; a clear sign that he was still a little floaty since he was giggling.

“Not everything is a test you weirdo,”

“Yeah but you’re looking at me like I asked it, I know how long we’ve been together,” Erwin said, taking a bite out of a hot wing.

“And how long has that been?” Levi smiled.

“About, sixteen years, give or take.” he guestimated as Levi laughed harder.

“Sixteen years?”

“Uh-huh,” Erwin took another bite as he listened to Levi’s adorable laughter.

“We’ve been together for sixteen years, really Erwin?”

“Yeah, something like that,”

Levi knew Erwin was counting the many years of their friendship in addition to the years of their relationship but, he only rolled his eyes as he let Erwin live out his idiotic fantasy as he found another question.

“What about our anniversary?” Levi peered over at Erwin who was currently shoving a drumstick down his throat before pulling it out, and cleaning all the meat off the bone.

He swallowed before talking.

“You mean when we first met or when we started dating?” he asked, but now, Levi was taken aback.

“You remember the exact  _ day _ , we met?”

“Yeah,”

“No way,”

“What do you mean no way,” Erwin smiled at him. “We met on June eighth, all the way back in two-thousand-four, I remembered ‘cause we were celebrating best friends day, and I wanted to make you my best friend,”

Again. Levi could feel it again.

The swelling of his chest and the butterflies in his stomach and the uppitiness of his heart and the overwhelming sensation of warmth and belonging and devotion and affection that encompassed him every time Erwin reminded him just how much he loved him before they were promised to each other, and how much he loved him now. 

Levi was impatient. He hated not knowing. He hated being in limbo and so, he didn’t need to look at his phone for the question, he had one for Erwin himself.

“When are we getting married?"


	27. I Can Hear The Bells

Levi slept more than just peacefully that night. He laid curled and cuddled up in Erwin's chest, breathing in his intoxicating scent while he slept throughout the night with the comforting thought that there was no need for him to worry and stress. There was no need for him to worry about what was happening now or stress about what would happen in the future because sooner or later, Erwin would propose to him. It was strange, almost. Normally people don't know if or even when they're going to propose to but Levi knew that he'd marry Erwin, he just didn't know when. He always searched his pockets for a ring when he did his laundry or asked him various questions in the midst of his sleep to try and steal information from his subconscious mind but, it was no use. And it was of no use for him to fret when Erwin would marry him, someday, and someday soon. It wasn't terrifying, anymore. It wasn't at all scary that they'd be going two separate ways, anymore. It no longer bothered Levi because now, wherever he went, he'd have a piece of Erwin, and a piece of his future-husband, on his finger, following him and protecting him and connecting them wherever they were, no matter what they were doing.

Following Levi's broadcast, he was sure to bombard Erwin with questions about their marriage that was soon to come; what the ring looked like, when he'd propose, what he'd say, where he'd propose to him, where they'd have their honeymoon and when they'd have their engagement party and so on and so forth and Levi already knew that once Erwin was lawfully his, he'd 'my husband' everyone to death, and he didn't' care. Erwin quieted him and put him to bed with a kiss, telling him it was for him to know and for Levi to find out when the time came but as Levi slipped out of bed the next morning, making sure to kiss Erwin's lifeless mouth before leaving him, he was as happy as can be as he left Erwin to his much-needed rest.

Though now, Erwin was awakening.

He rolled over into his back with a small grunt, squinting his eyes momentarily before protecting them from the sun with his hand. He didn't know what time it was, and for a moment he thought he was late for something before remembering that it school hadn't begun yet and it was still summer. His eyes adjusted to the sunlight, and as they did so, he heard a noise from the other side of the room, catching his attention as his eyes glimmered.

There Levi sat.

As Erwin laid down in the bed, his eyes stuck onto the scene before him. Levi sat in front of his vanity in their bedroom, brushing through his short, sleek, and shiny hair while layered atop his body laid a translucent white robe. The robe he wore was silky, and it was sheer in all the right ways. And as Levi sat with one of his legs folded over the other in his robe that was tied lazily, but purposefully lazily, Erwin observed him. He laid one of his hands behind his head, watching has Levi brushed through his hair before pinning it back and behind his ears so that it was out of the way. Levi reached out and lifted what looked to be a small metal container. It was silver, and as Levi screwed off the top, he dipped his finger into it, before lathering his lips with the cherry lip balm Erwin adored. He massaged his lips together while he pumped some lotion into the palm of his hand, scooting in the stool a bit and as he uncrossed his legs, he rubbed the lotion between both of his hands before moisturizing and kneading the lotion into the skin of his legs.

Erwin watched in silence.

He admired Levi's radiance and elegance from afar while his eyes ran over all aspects of him. The dark but fitting hair that framed his face, the soft pink of his lips, his long and lengthy eyelashes, the semitransparent robe that flirted with Levi's body and his curves while Levi spread the lotion over and onto the many miles of his freshly shaven legs and Levi glowed in his presence. The sun captured the structure of his face and body and pooled in the small crevices of his collarbone. Levi was absolutely stunning, and moments like this only reminded Erwin of the beautiful man he was going to marry, and live the rest of his life with.

As Erwin stared, Levi rubbed the remainder of the leftover lotion onto his arms. Soon looking at himself in the mirror as he eyed himself.

Once Levi seemed satisfied, he turned around. His eyes meeting Erwin's instantly, as Erwin was greeted with the same adorable smile he loved more than anything.

Erwin gave him a soft smile, watching as Levi rose from the stool, and walked over to the bed, only to crawl all the way over to him.

"Hey sleepyhead.." Levi whispered tenderly, his small hands and slender fingers cupping Erwin's face as be pressed a loving, and prolonged kiss onto the lips of his boyfriend.

Erwin moved the hand that was behind his head, pulling Levi closer as he gazed up at him.

"What time is it?" he asked Levi.

"Around noon, or maybe a few minutes past," Levi answered softly while caressing Erwin's cheek.

"And didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked peaceful, and like you needed sleep. I didn't wanna wake you." Levi laughed a bit as he smiled down at Erwin.

Erwin watched as Levi leaned down for another kiss, their lips molding together as a whiff of the lavender-scented body wash Levi always used met Erwin's nose.

In the hours that Erwin was asleep, Levi was awake. He'd bathed in a tub of warm water before going through his usual regiment of skincare. After that, he'd snuck in the kitchen to find himself making chocolate chip scones that now proofed on the warm kitchen counter but as he waited, he buttered his body in lotions and creams and kept every inch of himself moisturized and rejuvenated.

Though, as Erwin consumed more and more of the cherries that Levi had smoothed over his lips, he couldn't help but want more.

Levi's lips were soft, as were the hands roaming his bare chest, and neck, and face. After last night, all he wanted to do was hold Levi. The reality of marrying someone, and marrying Levi set in more and more as days went by. He wanted to cherish Levi, coddle him a bit, make sure Levi knew that he was the man of his dreams and that that would never change but it didn't seem like he needed to say so.

As Levi pulled away from Erwin's lips, he lifted and maneuvered one of his legs on the other side of Erwin's thighs; shoving the blanket aside, and straddling him while he gazed down at Erwin with light pink cheeks and Levi's eyes never left Erwin's.

Erwin watched as Levi reached to the belt of his robe. His heart quickening while Levi pulled apart and untied his robe right in front of him. Erwin knew Levi wore nothing underneath, as he could see that much with his eyes. He'd seen Levi naked countless times before, although this time, for some reason it made his heart beat a whole lot faster. Levi opened his robe and let the fabric fall off of his shoulders and lay on his elbows and arms instead and as he did that, Erwin's eyes traced Levi's body in pure infatuation.

Levi reached out as he held Erwin's hands, guiding his big warm palms to the soft skin of his chest, and the curves of his body, and the muscles of hips and thighs all while grinding against Erwin's clothed, but growing excitement.

Levi's skin was velvety. It was smooth, without ridges, or bumps, or blemishes and as Erwin took the time to caress Levi's body, he observed it too.

He loved Levi's body.

He loved the warm, firm muscles of his chest. He loved his sharp and rigid collarbone. He loved his slightly defined stomach, and how when he sucked in too much air when he gasped, a few of his lower ribs were able to be seen. He loved the beauty mark that showcased itself beside his belly button. He loved to see Levi's thighs spread apart on top of his and he loved the rhythm at which Levi rotated his hips, at this very moment.

Erwin licked his lips, his hands moving to Levi's waist as he sighed quietly. His eyes were glued to the Levi's hips, as they rolled in small, coquettish circles while rubbing against the stiffness in his briefs and Levi saw what he was doing to Erwin, and he liked it just the same. He leaned down, kissing Erwin's lips while letting Erwin's hands traverse him.

Levi laid his hands onto Erwin's chest as he kissed him, feeling Erwin's hands slip under his robe as he gripped onto his bottom; holding a cheek in each hand while Levi's body relaxed and nestled into his embrace without difficultly. He laid atop of Erwin. His chest pressing against Erwin's chest while he curled into Erwin's touch, all while Erwin's hands pushed his hips down, and onto his clothed cock, whilst kneading and massaging the plump flesh of his behind as their tongues tied and their lips smacked. Levi mewled quietly into his mouth as Erwin's hands aided him, letting Levi's hips grind against the one thing he wanted most, the one thing he wanted deep inside of him as Levi's breath suddenly grew heavy.

His temperature had risen, and his body was hot. His entrance twitched in excitement, hunger, and desire, all while he pushed back against those big hands cupping his bottom. He planned ahead, and he planned just for this. He'd been in the bathroom, bathing for a significant amount of time and in that time, he wasn't just perfecting himself. He was preparing himself so that when he wanted Erwin inside of him the way he did now, he didn't have to wait. 

Levi pecked Erwin's mouth as he sat up, humming quietly at the friction he'd made while he nibbled his bottom lip. Erwin watched as Levi dug his fingers into the hem of his briefs, and he watched as Levi moved himself on top of his hips before pulling his briefs down just enough so that his cock was freed. Levi raised his hips a smidge while Erwin dragged his eyes up to Levi's face, before bringing them all the way back down Levi's body, and hips, and space between his toned legs.

Erwin's heart softened, but the intensity at which thudded and thundered never decreased. He watched as Levi lifted his hips, he felt his fingers wrapping around his length and as he watched Levi release the lower lip that has been snagged all this time, it dawned on him that he didn't prepare Levi and as he was about to say something, it was too late. Despite the fact that Levi had prepared himself, he never really quite knew how too. Erwin was the one who specialized in every inch, and in every part of Levi's glorious body though now, as Levi situated himself all the way down onto Erwin's cock, he gave a heavenly cry in nothing but pleasure, and satisfaction.

Erwin watched as his mouth fell in a gasp, he watched his eyes drift away, and his tongue lick his lips, and his walls adjust to his size as his hips rolled ever so slightly. He felt Levi getting used to him, and as Erwin ran his hands up the body of his lover, Levi's chest heaved as he panted. Levi's fingers were sprawled out against Erwin's lower stomach, and while he slowly and steadily raised his hips before lowering back down; he moaned softly, immersing himself in the feeling of Erwin's hands all over him he kept at the same pace.

He loved it, just like this.

He loved Erwin's big, warm hands traveling to every inch of skin that laid on his body. He loved the feeling of those blue eyes staring at him, and only at him. He loved the array of sculpted muscle that laid just below his fingertips, and he loved the feeling of all the ridges, and veins, and slight curve his cock had while he spoiled himself with it and he could feel the growing warmth of his cheeks, and the intense heat of his arousal. He peered down at Erwin as he moaned breathily. His hands moving up to Erwin's chest as he dug his nails into the muscle, putting an arch into his back as he successfully lifted himself nearly all the way off before sitting himself back down again.

Erwin listened as Levi's moans got louder. He watched as Levi filled himself with nothing but him all while Levi rode him with gradual vigor and Erwin's mouth salivated at the sight of him.

He laid his hands on his hips before trailing them higher and to the arch of his back, pulling him down and bringing him closer to him as he mended his mouth to Levi's. He held him the same way he had before; their bodies pressed together like puzzle pieces and as his hands reached behind Levi, to his backside, he spread him apart, only to thrust up, and deep inside of him as Levi gave an adorable moan in both surprise, and euphoria.

Erwin pulled away from his lips to look up at him, his cock now covered in a layer of Levi's slick while it stuffed and pleasured Levi, and Erwin didn't dare stop. Levi's eyes were halfway open, his mouth agape, his fingers and hands grasping onto the sides of Erwin's face as his body bounced from each stroke Erwin hips gave him. Erwin kissed the side of Levi's mouth, followed by his neck and chin while he ran his hands up the curves of Levi's body. He'd listened to him moan and gasp, and he'd felt his walls tighten in what he knew was his closeness and just like that, Erwin slowed his hips.

Levi regained his breath with an endearing gasp, his fingers knotting in the blond hair of Erwin's head while he relished the last few pumps of Erwin's hips before he felt Erwin's hands go to his thighs.

Levi's heart only fluttered as Erwin lifted him. He kissed his lips, wrapping his arms around his neck while Erwin sat up, only to roll over and lay Levi onto his back while he towered over him. Levi hummed into his mouth, his hands tracing down his neck, and then his chest, and to his shoulders and shoulder blades while the heat from both of their bodies mingled and thirsted for one another's. Erwin kept his hands planted into the mattress on either side of Levi's body, his mouth quelling Levi into a gentle, loving, and passionate kiss while he sent his hips into Levi's body in a soft roll while he swallowed Levi's moan. He felt his nails begin to dig and his walls begin to squeeze and his thighs begin to quiver and he never once stopped or pulled away. Every thrust brought one of Levi's moans to his lips, every thrust brought one of his sloppy kisses, every thrust brought Levi's nails clawing down his back, made his toes pointing just a bit more, made his back arch off of the bed and as he quickened and propelled himself deeper, and deeper, and deeper to a point where he was surrounded in Levi's breathing, and panting, and moaning, and scratching, and trembling until he felt his stomach tighten in genuine pleasure and desire.

Erwin grunted quietly, letting himself vanish in the arms of his beloved as everything around him, and them, disappeared.

It was just them.

The sweat on their foreheads and how it beaded on their skin, and rolled away and into the pillowcases. The fingers that were so desperately clinging to the bedsheets, or so dearly into the skin, onto the back of whom they loved. The kisses that were shared that never allowed any heavy breath, any groan, or any noise of pleasure or love to escape past the lips of one another's. The bodies that seemed so different, yet so alike now that they laid bare, positioned on top of each other's while they rocked, and moved, and jolted simultaneously. And the eyes.

The eyes that stared fixedly into one another's while sweat dampened their hair, nerves curled their fingers and toes, tensed their muscles, urged their moans and stimulated a mutual thirst and hunger from the body of their lover all while sending them into an unrestrainable frenzy which ended with wet, open mouths, and furrowed, creased eyebrows.

Once all was finished, Erwin laid down and on his back. Holding Levi to the right side of his body as they cozied up to each other with the blanket hoisted over their bodies after they'd caught up with their breath.

They were silent, but there was comfort in silence.

Levi curled up beneath Erwin's arm, laying his head on his chest as he'd let his eyes drift away every now and again. He ran his eyes down Erwin's body, and his arms, and hands; admiring him and the immense love and warmth he was capable of giving as he nuzzled him, and it only reminded him how much he loved him. He wanted to say he did, really, but he was tired. Loving someone like Erwin wasn't easy, but he never once wanted it to be. With every coming day, he found new things to love about him, and to loathe about him, and to argue and bicker about but now, especially right now, he was quiet, and he didn't have the energy to speak. He said nothing as the feeling of Erwin's hand rubbing circles into his back slowly resonated with him. He lifted his chin, gazing up at his big burly teddy bear with a sleepy, sideways smile, and equally tiresome eyes and Erwin smiled back at him before leaning forward, and laying a kiss onto his forehead, and letting his mouth linger just enough to let Levi's eyes close before he pulled away.

"I love you too," Erwin said, having read Levi's exact thoughts.

And with that, Levi snuggled up even more. Cuddling closer to Erwin with a small hum as he inhaled the smell of his now very natural and organic musk. It was foolish of him to question and fret about the future and what would come after college when he had Erwin's love, and Levi had his. With the way he looked at him, and talked to him, and treated him, and held him, and made love to him, he knew that there was no man capable of loving him as much as Erwin did and it had always been so simple. Erwin remembered dates. Erwin remembered anniversaries. He knew birthdays. He spoke tenderly. He called him nicknames. He comforted him. He consoled him. He cared for him. He loved him. He made him feel like the rarest thing in the world whenever his eyes were on him and it never faltered when it came to speaking his mind and reminding him for the thirteenth time that Levi looked beautiful, today.

Erwin was simple, and simply sweet, and while Levi slipped away, and into his dreams, Erwin's mind was still active. He was going to marry Levi, and so, he'd need some advice, and more importantly, permission.

He'd have to visit Mister and Misses Ackerman, sometime soon.


	28. Staying

Erwin managed to get in touch with Levi’s mother. They shared phone numbers years back and they texted and called just as much as he and his own mother had only this time, Erwin got in touch with her because he said he had to talk about something important, and he wanted to do it in person without Levi necessarily knowing. Kuchel understood, she got calls like these when Erwin wanted to surprise Levi or pull a prank on her son and so, she called Levi and convinced him to come home for a while or at least for a few days before their summer break was over on the premise that she missed him and wanted to see him only, Erwin said that he needed to talk to her husband first, and that in itself was odd. 

The next day Erwin and Levi were packed up and ready to go but, no one really knew what Erwin’s intentions were, no one but Erwin. 

Erwin never spent a lot of time with Levi’s father, mostly because there wasn’t a single man as intimidating enough as Mister Ackerman. He didn’t know if he was scared of him because he himself didn’t have a dad or if maybe it was just the sternness of his voice or how whenever he looked at him Erwin just felt smaller despite the fact that he was taller than him but, he made him feel like a child. But, he knew that for this to work, they’d have to talk, and Erwin was good at that. He was good at talking and good at making friends and good at being in the limelight only this time, he was going to try to ask Levi’s father for his blessing, and the drive from campus all the way home didn’t calm him in the slightest bit.  Mister Ackerman was a good man, and an even better father. He was a full-time lawyer, and even though he worked day and night he still found time to be there for his son and take care of him and Erwin could never recall a moment where Levi was ever upset with him, really. It was always his mom who he had war with and now that he thought about it, it was always his dad who bought him a new phone or took him to a new store or got him the latest set of brushes and paint sets or went took him to see a new movie and spoiled him ten times more than his mother had and it didn’t strike him until he pulled into the driveway of Levi’s home that Levi was a Daddy’s Boy, and that his father wouldn’t want to have him married off and would most likely kill the man that dared to take his son from him. 

He took a deep breath as he put the car in park, and shut off the ignition and as he exhaled and gulped, pure dread filled his body as he stared at the front door of Levi’s home. 

His father would murder him. His father would kill him. He’d seen his guns, and he had enough weapons to arm a small militia. He mounted them on the wall of his garage like trophies and he knew he wouldn’t hesitate to blow his brains out. Levi’s dad had to know they were dating. He had to know that he was Levi’s boyfriend and so, he had to be upset. He didn’t ask him beforehand. Should he have asked permission? Did he know about how he treated Levi years ago, before his concussion? Did he know that he apologized? Did he know that he loved Levi? Did he know that he  _ really _ , loved Levi? Did he know about all the things he’d done to Levi? Did he know he kissed him, and where he kissed him, and how he kissed him and where he put his tongue sometimes and—

“C’mon, they’re waiting for us,” Levi piped, clicking his seatbelt off before leaning over, and smooching Erwin’s cheek as he stepped out of the car. 

Levi liked being home. He liked being home mostly because he could eat all the food he wanted and take advantage of his mother’s homemade kimchi and as Erwin stepped out his car and locked all of the doors and slid his keys into his pocket, he held Levi’s hand as they walked towards the front door, and Erwin couldn’t help but feel like he was walking into a trap. 

He knew Levi’s father. He knew that his father wanted Levi to marry someone like them, someone within their race, someone Asian or Japanese with far more prestige than Erwin had and Erwin knew because Levi told him long ago. Erwin didn’t have any prestige. He played football and scored touchdowns and smoked weed when he could and the most prestigious thing he'd done in his entire life was him winning and becoming Prom King and that was about it and that wouldn’t cut it. It would never cut it, but his father would certainly cut him in pieces once he discovered the many godless, pre-marital things he’d done to his son within their bedroom and as Levi rang the bell, he gazed up at Erwin, as he wore an expression Levi hadn’t really seen before.

He looked frozen, almost. He looked like a statue. His eyes never moved and never blinked and his jaw seemed taut and Levi could see his pulse beating in his neck and soon, he figured that he was nervous. He was nervous but, why? He was anxious but, how? Erwin never froze up. In high school whenever they paired up to do presentations Erwin always took the role of talking and it was easy for him and he always got the class to laugh at his mistakes if he made any. He was never scared, or stiff, or as uneasy as he was now and Levi didn’t know why but he wanted to.

“Hey..” Levi said softly, holding Erwin’s hand with his left one as his right hand slid up his arm, and stroked his bicep. “You okay?”

Erwin nodded. Erwin nodded and that couldn’t be good because Erwin loved to talk and when Erwin didn’t talk that meant something was wrong and Levi knew because he knew Erwin better than anyone else did. 

“What’s wrong?” Levi asked, his voice now holding obvious concern as he let go of Erwin’s arm, in favor of standing right in front of him as he pulled his face down, and forced him to look at him as he thumbed his cheekbones. 

“Do you feel sick or something?” he asked him. “I could run out real quick and get you something if your stomach’s upset and maybe pick up some—”

“N-No, I’m fine, Levi, really,” Erwin stuttered, another sign that he was the exact opposite, and that he wasn’t fine, and that was all it took for Levi’s worry and stress levels to fluctuate and rise. 

He turned around and faced the door as he heard the front door unlock and open, eager to tell his mother that Erwin wasn’t feeling okay and that he needed a cup of her special tea but instead, his father opened the door, and looked at them both. 

“Where’s mom?” he asked urgently, his father lifting a brow. 

“Good morning, I missed you, and how are you, are examples of what you’re supposed to say when greeting someone.”

“I know, but, Erwin’s not feeling okay and so I thought that mom’s tea might help so I—”

“He’s feeling perfectly fine.”

“No, Dad, he’s—”

“Erwin made it known that he wanted to talk to me sometime this morning. He could be feeling a bit skittish.”

Levi blinked. He looked at Erwin, who still hadn’t moved before looking back at his dad. He didn’t understand what was going on or why Erwin would want to talk to his dad because frankly, no one, wanted to talk to his dad. He swore he was one of the sweetest men alive with the exception of Erwin and yet, no one wanted to get to know him. Erwin and Levi had known each other for years and he could’ve done this on any other occasion so he didn’t understand why, and why now, and as he was about to make an attempt to figure it out, a pair of hands met his shoulders, and those hands belonged to his mother. 

“Come,” she whispered gently, ushering Levi out of the entryway and somewhere else within their home so that now, they were alone. 

Erwin and Levi’s father, were alone. 

He pulled the door open a bit more so that Erwin could enter, and as Erwin walked in, he was sure to take off his shoes before stepping further. Levi’s father locked the door, and as he did so, he spoke to Erwin. 

“How’s your mother?” he asked, making Erwin’s palms sweat. 

“She’s good, real good,” he answered. 

“And football?”

“Even better,” he said. 

“Good, good,” he said, turning around to face Erwin before craning his neck even further than usual. 

“You’ve grown,” he observed. 

“Too much, I’d say,” Erwin made an attempt at a joke but, Levi’s father didn’t laugh or even smile. 

“We can talk in the living room, is that alright with you?” he asked, but before he got an answer he was already on his way there. 

“Y-Yeah, that’s perfect,” Erwin said, following behind him as Levi’s dad lead him to their family room. 

It was dead silent. Erwin could hear the weight of his steps and the minor creaks in the wooden floor and the heart in his chest and unevenness of his respiration and as Mister Ackerman took a seat on one of the couches within the living room, Erwin took a seat on the one across from him, so that they sat face to face. He lowered himself down onto the cushion, rubbing his knees and then his thighs before getting confused and not knowing what to do with his hands and so, he folded them and they sat there, just like this, for what felt like eons.  Erwin knew he was looking at him. He knew he was staring at him and watching his every move and yet he didn’t have the courage to look back nor did he even want to. He just knew he wanted to marry Levi. He wanted to marry Levi and in order to do so he’d need permission and it was of the utmost respect for him to ask Levi’s father for his blessing and he wouldn’t be able to follow through without it. He knew he needed to be brave. He knew he needed to man-up. He knew he needed to be prepared for possible rejection and that that was okay because he’d still have Levi, and he’d still be able to try again. He needed to do this. He needed to say something. He needed to ask him.  He needed to  _ look _ at him and so, as he lifted his head, and gazed across the room, he did, and he didn’t falter.  He understood that he needed to be confident when it came to this. Any sort of hesitation or cowardice or sheepish behavior would result in firm rejection and he knew because Mister Ackerman wasn’t a simple man by any means. He just needed to be forward, and say it. He needed to say it loudly, and proudly, and like he meant it because he did mean it and as he cleared his throat, wanting to make sure he said everything with flawless enunciation, he opened his mouth, only to be stopped. 

“You want to ask for my son’s hand in marriage, yes?”

_ Fuck _ , Erwin thought, cursing himself. 

_ What now, what the fuck do I say now? He knows. He fucking knows. He knows and if he knows that I want to marry Levi he knows a ton of shit too and he’ll shut me down no matter what I say. I can’t just say yes, can I? Would I sound too cocky? Would that be disrespectful? But I can’t just say no because that isn’t true. I can’t lie to him and I really do wanna marry Levi but I also can’t just sit here and say nothing. Think. Fucking think. Just say something but be smart about it. What would Levi say? No, no. What would Levi tell me, to say? _

“How long have you and Levi been together?” he asked again, and this time, Erwin forced himself to regurgitate an answer. 

“Three years,” he said. 

“Three years?” 

“Yes sir, and counting,” Erwin didn’t know why he called him Sir but, it felt right in this situation. 

“And you want to marry him?”

“Yes sir, more than anything.”

“Because you love him?”

“I do.” he nodded. 

“Do you really?”

“Yes sir, with all my heart.”

“And he knows this?”

“I tell him every day.”

“And you know what marriage entails, don’t you?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Enlighten me.”

“It’s.. different, for everyone, but to me, marriage is promising all of someone to someone else come what may, and, you know, being there when someone needs you the most and—“

“Let me stop you,” Levi’s father sat up as Erwin swallowed. “My wife is a happy woman. Do you know why?”

“No sir, I wouldn’t know why.”

“My wife is a happy woman because not only does she know why I care for her in the way that I do but she knows why, and exactly why, I married her. She knows I married her because I wanted to create a life, with her. She knows I married her because I wanted to be a part of that life. She knows I married her with the full intent of starting a family and growing wealth and succeeding together all while ensuring that should we not do those things, it is my responsibility to make up for it. Marriage is promising someone the world, and every aspect of it, and nothing less. It’s being there, yes, but it doesn’t end there. It’s  _ staying _ , there. It’s staying there through arguments, and fights, and sadness, and tragedy and moments where you swear you’ll leave and never come back, and yet, you stay, because why? Because marriage is _staying_ , with someone, no matter what happens, no matter where you are, no matter how old you become. You stay. ” he said. “My wife knows that I will stay. Not once have I had to verbally tell her because she knows but, tell me, does Levi know that you, will stay?”

“Yes.” Erwin answered automatically, not needing to think.

“And how does he know that?”

“He knows that because I know that.”

Levi’s father cocked a brow. 

“I’m not following,” he said, making Erwin swallow again. 

“He knows that I’ll stay because I want to stay.” he began. “He knows how much he means to me and how much I want if not need him in my life and he knows that there’s no one on this planet I’d rather be with. He knows that he’s wanted. He knows that he’s needed. He knows I won’t be happy without him and only him and he knows that I want and will want to stay, and stay forever.”

“Want is an interesting word. What happens when you don’t want to stay?”

“With all due respect sir I’ve known Levi all my life and in that same time, you’ve known me. Have you ever identified a single moment where I wasn’t at Levi’s side, and appeared as if I didn’t want to stay there?”

In legal terms, that was what they called a verdict, and Erwin didn’t even know it. 

Levi's father really didn't need any more evidence in regard to the reason why Erwin should marry his son because, Erwin was right, in many ways. He couldn’t recollect a time where Erwin was never willing to come over or sleepover or spend time with Levi and even on the days they didn’t see each other, it was because Levi didn’t want to see him, or was ignoring him. Erwin was never discouraged, either. Levi could be cruel at times as he was witness to Levi’s tendency to assault Erwin but Erwin never seemed bothered by it. In fact, it looked like he favored it rather than Levi shunning him. He did everything for Levi, really; built his lemonade stands, taught him how to drive partially, put air in the tires of his bike, and even now, loved him in ways he couldn’t even imagine, and he could tell from the way Erwin spoke about him, and the way he carried himself when he talked about something so important to him. Erwin always talked about sports and getting better and did so with so much determination and enthusiasm but, not only was he speaking in that way now but, he seemed focused. He knew what he wanted, he knew what he came here for, and he didn't know Erwin to be a man who gave up easily and even if he said no, he'd be back next week, and this he knew for a fact.

He could see it in his eyes, too. Eyes like his were trained lie detectors and not once did Erwin tell him any sort of untruth. The man that sat before him was serious, and loved his son just like he said he had and did and there was no denying that he’d stay, and stay indefinitely and he couldn’t help but think of how wonderful of a man he’d grown into despite not having a role model like himself to look up to and with that, he had no one to turn to but him. Erwin didn’t have a father to tell him what he was about to and so, he took it upon himself.

“I want you to know something, or a few things,” he said, as Erwin nodded. 

“We share something now, you and I, and though it’s different, we both share how much we care for Levi, so listen closely,” he said, Erwin nodding again. 

“The ring,” he began. “You make sure the ring fits, you make sure it’s his favorite cut, and his favorite color because he’s going to be wearing it for the rest of his life and you want him to  _ want _ , to wear it. You buy a ring that represents not just him or you but both of you, and you don’t ever tell him how much it costs. As a man, that dies with you, you understand that?”

“Yes sir.”

“When it comes to the proposal, you practice it. I don’t mean when you have free time, I mean all day, all night, especially in the days leading up to it. He’s going to remember that moment for the rest of his life so don’t stutter, don’t shake, don’t stumble, you just talk, and pause, and breathe, and say what you need to say and not what he wants to hear and you make sure you mean every syllable.”

Erwin listened intently. 

“You propose to him in a place that means a lot to him, you propose to him on a day that means even more, and when you do, you look him in the eye and tell him the truth. You get down on one knee and tell him the complete and honest truth. You tell him how you feel, you tell him that you love him, you tell him you want to marry him, you tell him why you’re kneeling, you tell him your flaws and every possible thing that’s wrong with you so that he knows what he’s getting into so that there are no surprises and then, you ask him to marry you.”

“And.. then what?” Erwin asked. 

“And then, he says yes.”


	29. Us

“What’d you guys talk about?” Levi pried, smiling at Erwin as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders. 

While the crickets and other nighttime and evening insects sounded, Erwin and Levi sat in the bathtub of Levi’s home as they decided to bathe before bed, and in that time, Levi had been trying to get information on what really happened. His mother kidnapped him and forced him to help her clean their attic for an hour which normally, Levi wouldn’t hate because he loved tidying. But one hour of lifting and moving and cleaning in  _ this _ , heat?  He almost passed out. 

“Nothing,” Erwin said. “football stuff mostly,” 

“Football stuff?” Levi asked, in a clear tone stating he knew Erwin was lying as he shifted in his lap a bit as the water rippled. 

“Mm-hm,” Erwin nodded. 

“What kind of football stuff?” Levi tilted his head to the side as Erwin smiled at him. 

“He asked me how it was and how I thought I’d do this season and that he enjoyed last season a lot, so,” 

“He did, didn’t he,” 

“Mm-hm,” Erwin hummed. 

“You know, that’s funny ‘cause my dad doesn’t watch football, so, I don’t know how he could’ve seen last season’s games.” Levi caught him, making Erwin laugh. 

“He must’ve just got into it,” he said with a grin, as Levi held Erwin’s cheeks. 

“He must’ve,” Levi smiled, meeting Erwin for a kiss as Erwin’s hands appeared out from under the water, and ran his fingers up Levi’s spine before wrapping his arms around him. 

Erwin would never tell him, and Levi knew. Levi didn’t know why he’d been so nervous this morning and why he’d been so quiet overall and why he refused to tell him what he and his dad were really talking about but, after a long day, he finally had Erwin to himself, and that was all that really mattered. He sat in his lap, his fingers sliding up from his face and lacing themselves within the damp, blond curls that laid atop his head and as he pulled away from his lips, and kissed his forehead, he reached over and grabbed the shampoo bottle before saying;

“I’ll take care of you,” 

And Erwin watched. He squeezed some of the shampoo into his palm before setting the bottle down and spreading the shampoo between each of his hands evenly and then, he ran his fingers through Erwin’s hair and as the suds grew, he took his time massaging the soap into Erwin’s scalp, and deep into his roots, and Erwin could only stare at him in admiration. Levi had always looked beautiful to him. He ran his eyes over Levi's damp hair and how it fell down to his shoulders, and stuck to the supple skin of those shoulders. He watched as beads of water rolled down his body, loving how they decorated his gently toned stomach, and chest, and arms while small puddles of water filled in the gaps of Levi's collarbone and neck, and as his eyes landed on Levi's face, he gazed at him, in complete awe. He was always astonished, and stunned by Levi. He adored the elegance of his long, dark, but currently webbed eyelashes. He loved his thin but slightly arched eyebrows as they framed his face perfectly. His button nose was slim, and small, and cute, leading down to his Cupid's Bow while he took notice that Levi's top lip was thicker than his bottom one. His lips were tinted a soft pink, naturally, as he noticed that every aspect of him was. His mouth was pink, his blush was pink, his nipples were pink, and both of the things between his thighs were pink and the fact that he was the only man who knew that put a smile on his face and yet, though he didn’t know why, Erwin felt strange, again. 

It felt really, strange. 

Three years ago, Levi wanted nothing to do with him romantically and now, they both sat naked in a tub, while Levi situated himself in his lap as he washed his hair for him while water dripped from his elbows and splashed into the tub. Three years ago, Erwin was in a coma. Three years ago, Erwin swore Levi hated him. Three years ago had Erwin done a single thing different or done something he hadn’t done or didn’t do, he wouldn’t be here, and he wouldn’t have Levi, and he couldn’t help but feel lucky and again, he didn’t know why. 

There was nothing special about him, personally, but Levi, Levi was his everything and more and though he’d never been in any relationship besides the one he was in now, he knew that their love was something that couldn’t be replicated and that in itself made him love Levi.

He loved everything about their relationship, including the ugly bits. Erwin had a bad habit of forgetting to turn off the oven after warming up food and leaving the shower faucet turned all the way so that it was freezing cold and not separating his underwear from his pants after taking them off and throwing them in the hamper and Levi always lectured him for it and  _ God _ did he love every second of it. 

The yelling, the arguing, the bickering, the cussing; all of it. 

It reminded him of how their love began and how their friendship started and how if he didn’t choose to be selfish sixteen years ago on that day, and hog the water-fountain, he wouldn’t have met Levi, and he wouldn’t have gotten the time-out he deserved. He loved when Levi chastised him. He loved the walks they took and the dates they went in and the sex they had and the memories they shared and the conversation that emerged a few hours ago only solidified his desire to give Levi his last name and it  was strange how even though they were in a steady relationship, they were still the best of friends, and thinking about it, Erwin didn’t want it any other way. 

He wanted to have pillows fights. He wanted to wrestle. He wanted to stay up and watch anime and sleep in the next day and skip a few more classes with him but rather than Levi having a fit once they awoke, this time, he could love him, and as Levi cupped water into his hands and gently poured it over Erwin’s head to wash the shampoo out, Erwin couldn’t control the smile on his face that now widened. 

His mind was full of thoughts of his it all started. 

Their elementary school. The water-fountain. The tattling. The box of fruit punch. The lunches they swapped. The friendship that began. The closeness they had. The secrets they shared. The punches Levi gave. The recess they played. The years that passed. The changes that occurred. The homework they copied. The detention they endured. The cheating they snuck. The parties they went. The clubs they signed up for. The games they went to. The drugs they took. The beer they drank. The feelings that developed into something more than what they both initially thought it would be and now that he thought about it, Erwin had always had a crush on Levi, he just didn’t know it. He didn’t know he was gay either until Levi came out and so, he figured he was gay too and that alone meant that he had feelings for Levi far before he even recognized them but it was today that he recognized that  Levi was the highlight of his life, and he was well aware. 

Levi was there for him, saving his ass, helping him study, making sure he didn’t fail, reminding him about tests and quizzes, sneaking him answers during said tests and quizzes, offering him support, providing him with trust, and meeting him in their not-so-secret spot that stood in the backyard of his home that was also known as their treehouse and Erwin didn’t know what he’d do or what he'd be doing or where he’d be or who he’d be without Levi, in his life and he was thankful. He was  more than just lucky, and he was happy that he decided to be the jerk Levi called him that day as he held up the line to the water-fountain. 

“Finished,” Levi said, a big and bright smile on his face as Erwin stared at him, and did so with no noise. 

He’d marry him. He’d marry him and give him the world and the moon and the galaxy and whatever else he wanted after that and he’d make sure of it. He’d love him for the rest of his life and for eternity after that and he’d vow it. He wanted to do so much, with Levi. He wanted a life. He wanted memories. He wanted to do everything with Levi and for Levi to be with him all the way during the whole thing and he was in it for more than the long run because he wanted to be there forever. He'd spent all of their childhoods together and he wanted to spend all of their adulthood together too. He wanted to see Levi get old. He wanted to see Levi with wrinkles. He wanted to see Levi with gray hair and a hunched back just so he could remind him of how cute he was, again, and again, and again but as Levi finished tending to him, he spoke.

“You know what you said to me.. the day we met, at that water-fountain?” Erwin asked. 

“Tell me,” Levi said, leaning closer as he hugged his arms around him the same way he had before. 

“I was thirsty so, at first when you came up to me I wasn’t moving but then, you threatened that if I didn’t move, you’d tell everyone that you saw me picking me nose as proof that I had cooties.”

Levi only giggled. He remembered what had happened to a certain degree but, it sounded like him. 

“Would you believe that?” Erwin grinned down at him. “My own boyfriend, incriminating me for not only picking my nose, but for transmitting cooties?” he listened to his laughter as it became even louder. 

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” he teased. 

“Put what past me?”

“You picking your nose, you have a pretty big nose,”

“You know what else is pretty big?” Erwin winked, making Levi snicker.

“It’s not that big, get over yourself,” he bullied him. 

“Is that right?” he smiled. 

“Uh-huh.”

“You sure? Because I vividly remember you moaning something like,” Erwin cleared his throat, now putting on a high-pitched tone of voice as he impersonated Levi as he gasped. “You’re so big,” Erwin faked a moan as Levi screamed. “So good,” he went on, “Harder Erwin, give it to me har—”

Levi was quick to clap his hands over his mouth. Not from fear that his parents would hear him, but from fear that he’d die from embarrassment but he could feel Erwin’s smile under his hands and see the sparkle in his eyes to know that he was very much enjoying how red his face got.

He’d kill him one day. Run him over with his own car maybe, considering he could never go head-to-head with him. He’d need some sort of machinery to take him down and if a car wasn’t enough, maybe a trencher. 

“I  _ hate _ you,” Levi reminded him again, and though Erwin could say nothing back, he knew he meant it and believed that he meant it but his smile only widened beneath Levi’s hands. 

Levi had trouble telling the words hate and love apart from time to time, was all. 


	30. Body Language

“How’d it go?” Kuchel asked as she stood behind the kitchen counter and in front of the stove as she fried and grilled bite-sized slivers of tuna fish. 

She was preparing breakfast; she was warming up leftover rice from the night before and steaming some fresh vegetables and she had a pot of miso soup boiling as it simmered down into more pronounced flavors. Her husband sat down at the dining table directly in front of the kitchen as he read through current events on his tablet whilst sipping his cup of hot tea and it had only occurred to her this morning that she hadn’t asked him how his talk with Erwin went. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“The conversation with Erwin, yesterday morning,” she reminded him as he paused for a moment, as if he’d forgotten before resuming and scrolling through the news again. 

“Ah,” he said. “Yes, it went well, better than I expected.”

Kuchel smiled softly as she flipped the fish over and onto its uncooked sides. Her husband was never a man who made it obvious as to how he was feeling. He very rarely smiled in pictures and only spoke to people who he deemed important and seldom took part in things he thought were unnecessary and if it weren’t for the many years she’d been married to him, he would’ve been an enigma, to her, but she knew him. If anything went well it went great, and if it was better than he expected, it was amazing, and if she counted her cards right, it would seem that Levi was to be married to Erwin, and Erwin had successfully received his blessing. 

“Celebration is in order, yes?” Kuchel asked. 

“Of course,” he agreed. “But Levi mustn’t know.”

Kuchel hummed at this before going back and tending to the sizzling and browning fish. Her son was to be married. Her son was to be married to the only man she wanted him to and she couldn’t have been any happier. She’d known Erwin for about as long as her son had been in her life. Erwin was always polite when he visited, he always accepted their culture despite their differences and he seemed interested in it too, and she couldn’t say that about most children or even adults, these days. He always called her Misses Ackerman though she told him it was okay to call her Kuchel, and when it was her birthday, he always sent her a card, and wished her a happy birthday, and thanked her for being in his life the same way he did every year and Erwin was odd in that way.Telling him to do or not to do something wouldn’t change the way he acted because he wouldn’t listen either way. He did what he wanted to do, and no matter what he did he always had the purest, and kindest intentions, and that was what made him different and Kuchel hadn’t met a child or a man like that in all her life. 

She only ever wanted Levi to marry him. Erwin was a good man, and a very good man, and she could see that with the many times he’d stopped Levi to tie his shoes for him when they were younger, and take him to and from school as they aged and whenever she doubted Erwin’s character and demeanor and maturity as Levi came back from spending time with him, it was never Erwin that upset him or did something wrong, but how Levi chose to interpret it. He was patient, with Levi, and she soon learned that he was patient with everyone. He had an approachable figure and aura and personality and though it seemed that he could be easily stepped on and taken advantage of he wouldn’t let that happen for a moment. 

Again, Levi could be cruel, sometimes. 

She would overhear him calling Erwin bad names and saying not so nice things and though they were children, Erwin never took it to heart, not once, and when she told Levi to apologize, he apologized back even though he’d done nothing and Erwin would be a good husband, to Levi, and this she knew without a second thought.  He balanced Levi, made sure he wasn’t pushing himself too hard or not pushing hard enough and maintained Levi’s always conflicting emotions without even mentioning them and that was no easy task. Levi never liked hearing it but, he was dramatic, if not melodramatic. He could be upset with someone or something one minute and be absolutely sure he’d commit a homicide and then he sobbing the next and locking himself in his room as he sulked and then be the happiest person in the world all in a span of ten minutes but, Kuchel hadn’t seen him like that since their relationship began and the only thing between then and now was that now, he had Erwin. 

She wouldn’t ruin the surprise that Erwin had in store for him but, she wanted to make today special. She'd make mochi for him, though, she needed to know what kind he wanted. She lifted the last piece of fish off of the pan before shutting off the stove and wiping her hands on her apron before untying it, and taking it off. 

“I’ll be back in a moment,” she said, setting a kiss upon her husband’s temple before running along, and up the stairs to Levi’s bedroom. 

She bent the corner and took a few steps down the hallway as now, she knocked on Levi’s bedroom door a few times, half-expecting him to be awake considering the time. 

“Levi, dear, breakfast is nearly ready,” she said, her ear facing the door as she listened in.

“O-Okay!” Levi said in a hurry, though it wasn’t his usual tone. It was only a few minutes before the middle of the day but that didn’t matter. Levi sounded off, or like something was wrong and suddenly, asking him what kind of mochi he'd like didn't seem as paramount as it had before.

“Is everything alright?” Kuchel asked, truly concerned as she was unaware of the many, ungodly, sinful, and indecent things Erwin was doing to her poor, poor son on the other side of the door.

The day had only begun for them less than an hour ago, and yet, Levi's clothes were scattered across the floor, and Erwin was already between his legs.

Levi looked down at Erwin, a small breath escaping his lips before he gasped, and held onto the many strands of blond hair on Erwin’s head. He couldn’t be loud, and he knew. He could feel Erwin’s tongue, circling around his walls, curling, and twirling and pushing up and down and left and right and as Levi let out a chain of soft, adorable, and desperate moans that couldn’t be heard through the door, he pulled himself together as best he could while Erwin pushed his tongue deeper, he proceeded to make Levi’s mind melt.

“Uh-huh,” Levi said as naturally as he could as he gasped.

He could never tell what Erwin was doing to him. He didn’t know how he did it or what he was doing or how he managed to make him feel so good and as his mouth fell, he grabbed fistfuls of Erwin’s hair. He wanted to scream. He wanted to scream and scream loudly and yet he couldn’t. He pushed his head far back into the mountain pillows behind him. His chest lifted, his back arched and raised off of the bed, his toes pointed and his legs shook and his thighs trembled and his entrance quivered and while Erwin sent lustful electricity up his spine, Erwin only listened.  He listened to his heavy, choked breathing as he brushed against a sensitive nerve. He heard every whine and every whisper and every plea for him to stop but with the way Levi’s body was reacting, he wouldn’t. He kept Levi’s hips rooted to the mattress, feeling him try to escape every now and again but he wouldn’t let him.

“Well, come down when you’re ready, you and Erwin,” Kuchel said, Levi responding with something that sounded like a hum and a moan and though Levi knew his mother walked away from the door, his body hadn’t cooled.

And honestly, Erwin loved this.

He loved making Levi feel and act like this, yes, but he loved seeing it all the more. He looked up at him, his eyes running over the ribs that showed through his skin when he gasped and hyperventilated, before taking the time to admire the legs of Levi's painted toenails that dangled ever so helplessly in the air. He listened to Levi moan his name in a voice that sounded both needy yet merciful. He watched Levi's hands claw and pat at the sheets, searching for something, _anything_ to pass on and conduct the surge of energy bouncing through his body, out of him. Levi wanted to moan and moan loudly. He wanted to cry. He wanted to yell. He wanted to shout and yet as Levi’s legs warred with his hands, Levi's nipples sharpened.

"St-Stop.." Levi gasped, peering down at Erwin with puddled eyes, flushed cheeks, knitted eyebrows, and a pink nose. "Er—win, p-please.." he begged in a moan, only making Erwin flick his tongue up and down even faster and as Levi's body twisted and fidgeted. He watched as Levi's hips attempted to wriggle away, he felt his legs trying again and again to fight the strength of his hands and as Levi's cock leaked and throbbed before him, he watched.

His mouth was open, sore, and wet. He'd been chewing on it, nibbling at it, anything to keep the noises he wanted to let out, in. His hair stuck to the sweat on his forehead. His now steaming, sun-lit body tightening and growing more rigid as Levi's walls squeezed around his tongue. His legs rattled and shuddered, hinting at the very words that now left Levi's lips.

"I'm g-gonna.." Levi stuttered, "I'm.. gonna—" he tried again. Though now, one of Erwin's hands released his legs, and covered Levi's mouth.

After many years of witnessing Levi's orgasm, he knew he could never keep quiet. Not even if he wanted too. Levi's hands abandoned the sheets, gripping onto Erwin's hand and wrist with all his might before he exploded. Erwin felt the vibrations of Levi's climax within the palm of his hand, he felt his nails grazing across his skin as he came and with that, Levi's moans turned into sighs, heavy breaths, and shaky hums. He moved his hand from Levi's mouth, wanting to hear those gentle, calmed inhales and exhales as he slid his hands down his body, and guided his legs to his shoulders. He pulled his tongue out of Levi, hearing him give a fraction of a moan and as he shivered, Levi's body relaxed, and Erwin was sure to kiss the very place he'd been so harsh on. He massaged and calmed every inch of Levi, letting him regain his breath as Erwin held each of his thighs in each of his hands, and set kisses on the skin between them while he rubbed, and soothed his outer thighs. He  trailed kisses along the midline of his body before going all the way back down, and kissing him from his belly button to the soles of his feet as now, he knelt in front of Levi. He closed Levi’s legs for him, setting a kiss on each of his knees as he always did. 

Erwin loved Kuchel’s cooking just as much as he did his mother’s, but Levi was his favorite meal to have for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and every snack in between. Though he never received any direct pleasure from it, hearing Levi and feeling him rip his hair out and feeling his legs fight against him as he tortured him was more than enough pleasure than he needed, but Levi looked at him, in an almost hypnotically sex-induced haze.

"You're not putting it in..?" Levi looked up at him cutely, his cheeks still holding a small flush and his lips still parted as Erwin only shook his head with a smile.

“No, sweetheart, I’m not,”

“Why not?” he asked quietly.

“Because you need time, and I’d break you otherwise,”

A sudden pout found it’s way to Levi’s mouth, followed by a pair of adorably glaring eyes and a scrunched up nose and Levi seemed to be offended. He didn’t think it was fair, mostly, he didn’t think it was fair that Erwin didn’t get to cum and he didn’t think it was fair that the only reason Erwin wasn’t giving him what he really wanted only because he didn’t want to ‘break’ him, or whatever that meant. Levi wasn't some itty-bitty butterfly. Erwin couldn't break him, no matter how hard he tried.

“I want it,” Levi demanded, immediately ripping his legs open and inviting Erwin to take him, and take all of him, and Erwin’s eyebrows only lifted.

“Want what?” 

“You,” he answered, “inside.”

Erwin never stopped smiling, his eyes traced Levi’s body before his eyes fell on a very impatient part of Levi that twitched and leaked every now and again.

“You want me, here?” Erwin asked him, sliding a single finger inside of Levi and before it even got past the first knuckle, Levi’s hand flew down and held onto his wrist, stopping him with a loud whine as his legs slammed shut just as quickly as they opened.

Levi’s cheeks were bright pink, his body already clamping around the few inches of Erwin’s finger as Erwin knew that Levi was sensitive, and if he couldn’t take a finger, it wasn’t the best idea to give Levi what he wanted though, he could compromise. Erwin was good with his fingers, and even better with his mouth, and so, as Erwin pried Levi’s legs open, he pushed the remainder of his finger inside and took Levi’s cock in his mouth without waiting for an answer from Levi.

And then, Levi started regretting what he asked for.


	31. Celebrity

Levi thought Erwin did break him, for a moment. After Erwin had stopped touching him, his legs wouldn’t stop shaking and spasming and Levi thought there was no way he’d be able to walk and Levi didn’t even understand it because they didn’t fully have sex but after some time, Erwin and Levi went down and joined Levi’s parents around the dining table.

Separately, and at two different times of course.

They ate together, and as they did so they mostly talked about how college was going for the both of them before Levi went on talking about his modeling career, and soon, all the food on the table disappeared and now, they could all go about their business. With that, Erwin and Levi decided to go out for a bit, and go shopping at the mall. The mall was only half an hour away, and Erwin and Levi spent more than enough time and money there when they were younger.  They went to see movies there, and they bought Halloween costumes there, and they went back-to-school shopping there and it was fair to say that if they weren’t at each other’s houses, or in their treehouse, they were probably at the mall fooling around or wasting money or a combination of the two but now, as they walked through the automatic sliding doors, they were welcomed with shiny, white, tile flooring, unbelievably high ceilings, a wafting scent of fast food coming from the food court and the sound of hundreds of people talking, and laughing, and having a good time.

It had been a while since they’d been back. Going to the mall alone with friends was the highlight of any teenager’s weekend but, as time passed, going to the mall wasn’t as fun as it used to be. However, this was the first time they’d gone to the mall hand in hand, walking in complete unison.

“Where should we go first?” Levi asked, as they never really had a plan for what they’d do.

“Wherever you want to,” Erwin said, and it made Levi frown as he looked at him.

“You know where I wanna go, and I know that if you let me choose, you’re gonna be upset.”

“Who told you that?” Erwin laughed in a bit of amusement; shopping with Levi meant watching him dress and undress within various changing rooms and Erwin couldn’t get tired of it even if he tried. Levi must’ve thought he looked upset, or drained, maybe, but it was likely he was just thinking about the many things he’d do to Levi once they got home.

Plus, he got a kick out of watching Levi squeeze and bend into a pair of jeans two sizes too small all for the sake of fashion.

“Erwin, I don’t feel like dragging you around, and I know you don’t want to be dragged around.”

“You won’t be dragging me around, you know why?” he smiled, having reached into his back pocket and retrieved his wallet.

“Why?”

“Because I’m paying,” he said, handing Levi his credit card as he balanced it between two of his fingers, and Levi’s eyes only widened.

Levi never knew how much wealth Erwin had amassed between all of his endorsement deals and sponsors and advertisements he'd done but if it was enough to move into an apartment and pay for rent a few months in advance and buy a few watches and purchase a few colognes and ensure that every birthday, anniversary, and Valentine’s day that passed was never without a dinner reservation, an arrangement of chocolate, or an expensive bottle of champagne, he knew that the plastic card with Erwin’s name on it had  _ more _ , than enough money it, and it never ran out.

“No,” Levi shook his head, “No, it’s not right, you earned that so I can’t—”

“You can, and you will,” Erwin cut him off as Levi shook his head even more.

“Erwin, I can’t. I don’t want to spend your money when I have my own.”

“It’s not my money,” Erwin looked at him with a smile. “It’s ours, and I want to do this for you. You know many times I’ve been here with you and watched you window-shop for hours on end, and watched you mope the entire ride home?” he asked Levi, and Levi didn’t really have an answer but, he stared at Erwin in silence, as he always did when Erwin brought up memories he swore he’d forgotten but never wanted to fade away.

“I don’t want moping. I want smiling, and laughing, and I want you to go nuts, and get whatever you want. No moping, no pouting, no checking price tags. You want it, you buy it. Deal?”

Erwin listened to Levi sniffle, and could tell that he wanted nothing more than for him to hold him and hold onto him forever as Levi nodded. Erwin bent down and gave him a kiss, reminding him yet again that he was his boyfriend, and that he was only doing what any other boyfriend would have done for the person they loved and Erwin loved Levi very much.

“I’ll find you in a little bit, okay?” Erwin said, handing Levi his credit card as truly, he didn’t want to leave him by himself but, he’d come here on a different quest.

That quest being the search for the ring he’d propose to Levi with.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Levi had no idea how much he’d spend but he did now that he’d been to several different stores and not having Erwin to hold of his things was becoming a curse. He’d been to Bath & Body Works. He’d been to Victoria’s Secret. He’d been to Sephora. He’d been to Pandora and Calvin Klein and ASOS and he even bought a few pairs of crocs in different colors but now, he found himself in a Nike store but, he wasn’t shopping for himself this time.  He was shopping for Erwin, and he wanted to surprise him with a new pair of sneakers. Though Erwin’s favorite color was a dark shade of blue, he often wore all white or all black sneakers. As Levi’s eyes climbed the walls that stood lined with shoes, he couldn’t exactly locate a pair that Erwin didn’t already own or at least would want to own but then, he decided to get Erwin a little something out his comfort zone; and as Levi’s eyes locked onto a pair of neon green sneakers he’d never seen before, he walked over to it, and lifted them off of the small shelf it was on.

They looked cool, and Levi could tell that if they were worn day or night, they’d shine and glow either way. The inside of the shoe itself was cushioned and cloudlike, and it seemed comfortable. Levi wasn’t much of a sneakerhead to know if they were casual shoes or sport-playing shoes but, just as Erwin said, he didn’t look at the price, and as he walked over to the counter with the shoe, the man working behind it lifted his head to assist him.

“Hi,” Levi smiled before showing him the sneaker. “Do you have these in a size thirteen and a half, maybe?” he asked politely as the man took a look at them.

“Yeah, I probably have a pair in the back if you’d give me a quick second to—”

Levi hadn’t said anything or injected him at all though, he stopped talking. He just stood there, and Levi didn’t know why. Levi looked to his left and to his right in an attempt to figure out what the hell happened to him and then, as the employee’s neck stretched up, and up, and up, he knew exactly, what had happened. It was a talent, almost; knowing when his boyfriend was right behind him without even seeing him or hearing him but as his cheek was met with a gentle, and tender kiss, he wasn’t even surprised.

Erwin Smith was standing in a Nike shoe store; a store full of not only sneakerheads and hypebeasts but a store he advertised for and though he didn’t notice it, but there was a humongous full-body poster of him hanging in the store as he modeled their athleisure clothing line. It only took five minutes for the store to fill with gasps and whispered excitement.

“I didn’t know you were into sneakers,” Erwin said in regards to the shoe Levi held while he aided Levi in taking all the shopping bags he held from him, and carrying them like he usually did.

“I’m not, it was supposed to be a surprise,” Levi glared at him ever so adorably.

“For me?” he asked.

“No, for my other boyfriend,” he blew a raspberry at him as Erwin laughed.

He’d leave Levi to it then, but as he looked over at the man who was supposedly helping Levi in something, he suddenly jumped back to life.

“I-I’ll be back, w-with.. uh.. shoes! I'll be back with those sh-shoes,” he stuttered, before vanishing behind a door.

Erwin didn’t understand. He didn’t do anything and nothing happened and yet that guy looked like he’d seen a ghost, or something. He didn’t say a word or even move when he talking to Levi and the more he thought about, the whole store was a way quieter than it was before, and as Erwin looked around his shoulder, he was met with even more camera flashes, wide eyes, and people who looked like they wanted to scream and mob him but since Erwin was in his hometown, they didn’t.

It was new to him, really, the whole famous thing.

He didn’t really know how to act or what to say and most times when he saw people taking pictures of him he just smiled and waved simply because he didn't really think he was all that famous but, this time, he had the opportunity to give back.

As the man returned from the back of the store, he set the sneakers Levi had requested onto the counter. He pushed his glasses up and further onto his nose, hurrying to ring Levi up and try his best not to panic, but then, Erwin stopped him.

“How much can you charge my card for?” he asked him as Levi had already swiped it but now, he too looked up at Erwin in confusion.

“I d-don’t think there’s a limit..”

“Charge it for ten thousand, make sure everyone gets a free pair of shoes with their purchase today, including you.”


	32. Pride

Levi wasted no time in suffocating Erwin half to death with nothing but love and kisses for being so sweet. He didn’t know that Erwin was going to do what he’d done, and even though it was just a pair of shoes, Levi watched as it lit up the faces of every person in the store. Ten grand was a lot of money, and frankly, Levi didn’t know he had access to that much, let alone give it away but he wasn’t the least bit upset. He’d always known his Erwin to be a sweetheart, and he wanted nothing more than to go home and smother him some more but, on the way there, Erwin got a call.

A call from someone who he hadn’t spoken too since high school. 

Apparently he’d gone viral and was trending on every single social media outlet there was and word has spread that Erwin Smith was home. Dieter, one of his old football buddies phoned him up and told him how popular he grew within the past thirty minutes and invited him to play a few rounds of tag football, and Erwin couldn’t have been more excited. He met him at the location Dieter sent him and he got to catch up with all of his high school friends who went to different colleges and talk to them. Some of them had kids, most on accident rather than on purpose but, some of them didn’t even go to college, and some even played ball for a community league and yet, as they played, Erwin never once felt like he didn’t fit in. Truthfully Erwin had never felt the feeling of not being able to fit in, because he fits in everywhere, but the guys who he played with now never treated him differently despite the fact that he was the only one among them that had made it, and made it big.

After a few games, Erwin decided to call Mike, and a few of his other boys up. They were all roughly the same age and they all enjoyed a nice game of football and within an hour, Mike, Eld, Oluo, and Moblit arrived at the field. Erwin introduced his high school team to his college team and though the men had only known each other for all of ten minutes, they all took turns roasting Connie over his lack of height before splitting into two teams, and getting back into the game. They played until the sun went down and then some more. Erwin had sweat through his t-shirt completely, as did Gunther, and Hannes, and Nile and as he peeled his shirt off, even in the darkness of night, the bright neon sneakers Levi had bought him only a few hours ago, illuminated.

Nobody knew what the score was, really. No one knew who won or who lost but as soon as Erwin discovered he’d missed over ten calls from his beloved, he knew it was time for him to go home. 

They played all day, and even though everyone was stinky and sweaty and exhausted, each and every one of them hugged, and shook hands, and as they swapped numbers and Snapchat handles, they discussed when they’d be able to hang out like this, again.

Erwin was busy pumping half of a water bottle down his throat as he listened to them talk before sighing, and screwing the cap back on.

“I start school in a few weeks,” Floch, Erwin’s former teammate said, his hands on his hips as he still caught up with his breath.

“Same,” Marlo, Erwin’s prior Tight End before Moblit, said with a nod.

“We still have one weekend left, one more Friday,” Mike shrugged.

“You think Levi will let me out again? I have thirteen missed calls.” Erwin said as the men around him chuckled.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you’re a simp,” Dieter teased him, making everyone around him laugh as even Erwin grinned.

“We’re dating dude, I’m not a simp,” Erwin defended himself.

“Oh, so you’re whipped,” another man corrected him, a group of men erupting in boyish hysteria as they mocked and made fun of Erwin, but Erwin wasn’t at all ashamed. 

He was whipped, and he knew that from day one, and what about it? He could never be ashamed of loving Levi because Levi was his everything and more and that would never change. 

“I’m just ahead of the game,” Erwin bragged with a shrug. “I’m gonna be married and live in a nice house with my husband and what are you gonna be doing? Hooking up with someone you met on Tinder?” he said back, earning a few more laughs as the men took turns jeering Erwin but, none of them took notice to the man now making his way into the field. 

All of Erwin’s high school team and nearly all of his original football team was here, all but one, and as that man neared the group, Dieter noticed. 

“Hey,” he said, nudging Hannes as he, Hannes, and eventually all twenty-two men on the field looked over to see a man they hadn’t seen in a while, stopped speaking to, or just didn’t know. 

Reiner, made his way onto the field. He was the only man who Erwin had played with in the past who wasn’t texted, or called, or invited, and there was an obvious reason why. He’d found his way here due to a few Snapchat stories as the guys took pictures and videos of them having a good time and roughhousing and as soon as Erwin’s eyes landed on him, his smile dissipated, and the atmosphere changed.

“Oh shit,” Mike whispered to himself. He was one of the many men who knew of the history between Reiner and Erwin, and knew what exactly had happened between them. 

They’d fight for sure. Erwin would clobber his skull and kill him this time. Erwin wasn’t in school, he couldn’t be punished and therefore he had nothing to lose or to be afraid of. It didn’t matter how many years had passed and how old they both were, what Reiner had said to Erwin, or rather, called him, and said about him, was something that was deserving of a broken spinal cord, and Mike could feel the tension rising as he now, they stood face to face. Reiner had to look up to Erwin, now. They used to be around the same height but, it was clear to see who was superior in this situation and no one dared to interfere.  Erwin didn’t understand why he was here or how he got here or why he was looking at him right now. He never wanted to see him again. The day after he bloodied Reiner’s face and Reiner busted his lip, his Coach separated them during practices and throughout their training. They never spoke since then. They never hung out. Never saw each other or mentioned each other and Erwin had forgotten all about him, until now. 

“I’m sorry,” Reiner said, "I wanted to tell you I was sorry earlier but, it was hard finding you," and though some knew what he was apologizing for and some didn’t, everyone knew that with how silent it was, that what Reiner had done or said was messed up. 

Erwin never wanted his apology and he didn’t even want it now. It took him years to apologize to him, years to figure out what he said was fucked up, years to even realize how much of a waste of life he was and Erwin just stood there, and didn’t say a word. Erwin always believed in forgiving but never forgetting but he couldn’t bring himself to forgive him, and he didn’t think he ever would. Erwin understood that after that day, three years ago, Reiner's entire team abandoned him. To Erwin’s knowledge, all of his college football team was straight, and yet they knew that the slur Reiner had called him was wrong. Due to this, Reiner lost the people who he once called his friends and teammates and struggled to make new ones once word spread of what happened and normally, Erwin would’ve cared. Normally Erwin would’ve forgiven him and invited him back into his growing friend group but, Erwin had Levi at home, waiting for him, and he didn’t want to waste time on bullshit.

“See you guys later,” Erwin said, walking past Reiner and purposely bumping into his shoulder as he left, and walked off the field. 

As Erwin left, the group slowly dispersed. It was hard to feel bad for Reiner, especially since Erwin had to accept him before anyone else could. He may have apologized to him, in person, and that in itself took a lot of courage considering what happened the last time they saw each other but, Erwin made it more than just clear that he didn’t want to be friends with Reiner, and anyone that would consider themselves friends with that man would become an enemy too, and no one wanted that. 

Erwin just didn’t care for him, and coming from a man who truly cared for anyone and everyone, so much to where he was willing to buy strangers sneakers, that meant something. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Erwin made it back home to Levi’s house, Levi welcomed him with a warm kiss, telling him they’d already eaten dinner but he’d happily warm some of the leftovers up for him but, Erwin wasn’t particularly hungry. He hold Levi he was going to shower before bed, and as Levi nodded, and watched him walk away, he felt that something had happened, and that something was bothering Erwin. Usually, after a game or a night out or a party or anything having to do with Erwin spending time with his friends, Erwin came home with a smile, and was ready to tell Levi all about it, only this time, he wasn’t.  Levi understood that maybe he was tired, and just wanted to sleep, but he also understood that Erwin liked to talk, and tell him everything, no matter how badly he wanted to sleep, and yet, he watched as Erwin disappeared into the bathroom. 

Erwin stood in water that was colder than it was hot, just to make sure that when he woke up the next morning he wouldn’t be too sore but, as he stood in the shower, he wasn’t at all showering. He just stood there, letting the water rain down his body and trickle down his chest and stomach and legs before sliding down and in between his toes and he watched as the water circled around the drain before falling in, as he stared. Erwin didn’t bother pretending, he knew what was pestering him and what had been pestering him for the last forty-five minutes and that thing was Reiner. It wasn’t him as a person. It had nothing to do with him or how he acted or what he said to him today but it had  _ everything _ to do with what he said to him in the past.

Erwin just didn’t get it. He knew he didn’t get a lot of things but, he didn’t get this. He didn’t get how people could discriminate against other people just because they wanted to love and love the way they wanted to rather than the way society wanted them to. He couldn’t understand how people thought that loving someone in a way that was different than what was deemed ‘normal’, was somehow worthy of an insult, and disrespect, and nasty remarks, and it went without any sort of justice. Three years ago, when Coach blew his whistle and Erwin backed off of Reiner, he asked what happened and Erwin told him. Erwin told him and Reiner didn’t attempt to make an excuse and he stood by what he said and yet, his Coach didn’t once reprimand Reiner, and that pissed him off. 

Erwin was a person too. He was a human being. He played football and video games and liked to eat and drink and party and went to college to pursue a degree and become a pro-athlete and yet the one thing that separated him from everyone else was that he didn’t like girls, and instantly, his experience was different from everybody else’s and the thing was, Erwin didn’t understand why. Reiner had only said what he said because he knew that he liked Levi. He said what he said because he liked Levi and Reiner didn’t like that he liked Levi and Reiner didn't like that he liked men so, what was he supposed to do, say he didn’t? Was Reiner disgusted by him? Did he offend him? Did he make him uncomfortable somehow because even if that was the case, Erwin didn’t give a fuck.  Erwin wasn’t here to make people happy or make people feel more comfortable. He was here to play football and if loving Levi changed the way someone felt about him, that was their fucking fault. He wouldn’t try to hide Levi or hide the fact that he was gay or hide his personality because it was part of who he was as a whole and Erwin would never dull himself down for the sake of others. He loved Levi, and he would continue to do loudly, and proudly, in front of any and all eyes watching him and if it grossed people out, or disgusted them, or bothered them so much that they felt it was their duty to slander him, that was  _ their _ , fucking fault, and though he apologized for everything, he wouldn't apologize for that.

He was Levi’s person before he was anyone else’s, simple, and as his mind worked around the problem it had been trying to solve as he stood there, he realized that the water had become significantly hotter and that now, he could feel someone’s hands on his back as they slid down to his hips, before snaking through his arms, and trailing up his stomach, and to his chest. He felt kisses on the skin of his back, nails gently scratching him, and caressing him, and cherishing him and Erwin hadn’t heard when Levi walked in and joined him in the shower. 

Levi was quiet, and he still was. He pressed kisses onto Erwin’s back, stamping them over the many cuts and bruises Levi himself had left there when Erwin was loving him too good or too hard all while he ran his palms and fingertips up and down Erwin’s wet, sculpted body. He could tell what part he was touching even though his eyes were closed and as he set a kiss onto the middle of his spine, he felt Erwin shift, and suddenly, the warm, airy feeling of Erwin’s lips brushing against his earlobe as he before coming in contact with his skin made Levi’s knees wobble.  He felt Erwin’s kisses on his neck, his hands on his waist, his body pressed against his own and as Erwin’s hands ventured lower, and lower, and lower, Levi gasped at the feeling of one Erwin’s fingers, slowly pushing inside of him as he held onto his shoulders.  With time, the heated water was successful in not only fogging the glass walls of the shower but filling the entire bathroom with steam, condensation, and incalescence. Levi moaned softly, feeling his finger nudge against his prostate while his mouth inched its way up, and nipped at the spot behind his ear as he swallowed. He could feel Erwin’s fingers, stretching him and preparing him and though Levi never wanted him to stop, he wanted something more. Something he hadn’t got in a while. Something that was bigger and felt better and made his insides tighten just by thinking about and as Levi leaned in, closer to Erwin’s ear, he said it. 

“Put it in..” Levi whispered faintly, the sheer heat and humidity of the shower aiding in the process of thawing him and as Erwin spun him around, setting both of Levi’s hands on the slippery, shower well, Levi gasped at the feeling of Erwin angling his hips, widening his legs, and forcing an arch in his back. 

Erwin’s body was right up and against Levi’s, his chest against his back and Levi’s chest pressed up against the shower wall and as Erwin caught Levi’s mouth with his own, Levi moaned at the feeling of Erwin’s cock rubbing and grinding and teasing the place he wanted it the most. Levi stood on the tops of his toes, pushing his hips back in a desperate attempt to get Erwin inside of him, and all the way inside of him and as Erwin lifted one of Levi’s legs, holding the back of his knee for leverage, Levi felt that same something.  Something big, and hot, and filling him more and more within every passing second and before Levi could even fully react, he could feel Erwin’s hips pushing into him, and all Levi could do was moan. It was late and well into the night, and though his parents were undoubtedly sleeping, he didn’t want to wake and alert them of what was going on within their own home but as Levi’s eyebrows lifted, he pulled away from Erwin’s mouth, gazing up at him as he took in a deep breath, and held it. 

Levi's body was more than just hot. He was sweating, burning, torrid, and gasping for air as if the fire Erwin lit within his body was filling the room with smoke and there wasn't enough oxygen. He felt Erwin’s hips ram into own, the sound of Erwin’s thighs slapping against Levi’s behind muted by the still running showerhead and as stimulation invaded Levi's body as his nipples stiffened, and his cock oozed, Erwin watched as Levi’s face twisted and contorted in nothing but the pleasure he rendered him with.  Levi moaned in his name, and Erwin watched Levi’s nails trying to claw and scratch and dig into the glass but he failed every time and Erwin never stopped as he plunged into Levi’s prostate, earning a sharp gasp, and then an even sharper one, and on the third movement of his hips, he listened to the moan that left Levi’s lips as Levi’s toes curled and  Levi reached behind him, pulling Erwin closer to him as he held onto the back of Erwin’s neck, feeling him sprinkle his neck in heated kisses, and tender bites, all while he loved him.

And then, Levi’s remaining hand on the glass was soon joined, by Erwin’s.


	33. The Talk

Erwin never really told Levi about what happened, simply because he didn’t think anything happened. There wasn’t a fight, he didn’t hurt anyone, and he was okay, and so he let the thought of Reiner escape his mind as he made love to Levi, for hours, and hours, and hours on end. After getting out of the shower, they never left the bed, and they never stopped until they could hear the birds outside of Levi’s window. Erwin had him in every position, in every angle; backwards, forwards, upside down, right-side-up, on the end of the bed, in the middle of the bed, against the headboard, and on the floor, one round, but other than that, Levi’s hips never left the mattress, and he couldn’t have been more pleased.

They stayed at Levi’s house for four days before going over and visiting Erwin’s mother, and so far, they’d only been over for one night and they intended to stay for a couple more.  Erwin and Levi arrived sometime last night, and from Lousia’s point of view, Levi looked like he’d been ravaged by some kind of beast but she made no comment as they greeted her. Erwin told her Levi was feeling tired and so, without another word they went to bed but now, she was up early, and already brewing coffee as she mixed the batter for what would be her signature, and Erwin’s favorite blueberry pancakes.  It was rather late for breakfast but, it was still the first meal of the day and as she whisked all of the ingredients in the bowl into a paste, she looked around in search for a frying pan before setting in on the burner and greasing the pan with a generous glob of butter. She figured she’d fry some bacon and eggs on the side and as she retrieved them from the fridge, she listened to the heavy, and almost monstrous footsteps that now made their way downstairs.

Alas, it was her son, who without a doubt didn’t brush his teeth before coming down.

Erwin made his way into the kitchen with a yawn, scratching the back of his neck with a loud yawn as he looked at her, and kissed her cheek as he neared her.

“Morning,” was all Erwin said, walking around her.

“Good morning,” she said back.

Erwin went to the refrigerator, running a hand through his hair before opening the door, bending down, and grabbing the jug of apple juice. He screwed the cap off before tilting his head back and pouring the juice into his mouth and Louisa couldn’t have been more repulsed.

“Erwin, that’s disgusting,” she said, cracking a few eggs in a bowl in preparation to scramble them later.

“I didn’t put my mouth directly on it,” Erwin said after swallowing, knowing what he’d done always irked his mother.

“Next time get a glass, okay?”

“Too much work,” Erwin said, putting the cap back on and putting it back in the fridge and shutting the door as he made his way back around the counter.

“Getting a glass and pouring some juice is too much work?” she begged to differ.

“Yeah,”

“Care to explain?”

“I’d have to get the glass number one, which is tiring 'cause I’d have to walk  _ all  _ the way from the cabinet  _ all  _ the way over to the fridge and then I’d have to pour it hoping that I don’t spill it and then if I do spill it, that’s another chore, so, I just avoid it all by drinking straight from the jug,” Erwin grinned, and his mother only rolled her eyes in a mixture of amusement, but annoyance.

A lazy athlete, how contravened did that sound?

Erwin leaned down onto the kitchen counter, as it was always a habit of his ever since he was younger to watch Louisa as she cooked and he still did it, even now. Although, she did notice that Erwin was downstairs, with her, and Levi was still upstairs. Louisa presumed he was sleeping, as even though Erwin told her he was a bit tired from the journey but, then again, the trip from Levi’s home to her house was twenty minutes. It was walking distance, so how tired could he be? Louisa was a mom. He was used to Erwin’s lying and tricking and shenanigans and him trying to pull fast ones on her but, she didn’t really sense Erwin trying to hide anything from her, and maybe it was because he just, didn’t hide anything from her. 

He and Levi were a couple, and had been a couple for three years, and though Levi walked in as if he’d been drinking, she didn’t smell a hint of alcohol and either of them, and that could’ve only meant one thing.

“Erwin?” she asked.

“Hm?” he hummed.

“You weren’t hard on him, were you?”

Erwin’s eyes flitted up from the bowl of eggs to the eyes of his mother.

“Hard on who?” he asked.

“Levi,” she said. “I mean, in the bedroom, because—”

“Ma,” Erwin stopped her, his eyes wide as he stood up and stood up abruptly. 

“It’s only because, you know, he’s your first, and I—”

“ _ Ma _ ,”

“You’re not that experienced yet, so I thought that maybe since he came home yesterday so out of it that you were being too hard on him and Levi’s so small so, I can imagine that maybe he can’t handle—”

“Mom, I love you, really, I do, but please,  _ please _ , stop talking, okay?” Erwin begged her.

Yes, he talked to his mother about anything and everything but he most certainly did  _ not  _ want to talk to her about his sex life, or about what Levi could or couldn’t handle.

“Honey, I’m serious,” Louisa softened.

“I know you are, but—”

“Sex isn’t just penetration, you know, there’s.. more gentle things, you can do. Gentle things you can do for Levi’s sake. You know I’d never want you to hurt him.”

“Ma, I know, trust and believe that I know,” he stressed, wanting this conversation to end. “I’m not hard on Levi and I don’t hurt him. You know I love him, and I treat him with respect no matter what, so can we  _ please  _ just—”

“What do you know, tell me,” she said, seeming concerned for Levi’s wellbeing, and frankly, every time Erwin gulped it felt like he was swallowing a rock.

“Mom, please,”

“Erwin you have to tell me these things, I’m your mother. I’m not trying to pry I just, you know, you told me you wanted to marry Levi so I want to make sure you’re doing your part in satisfying him properly because it’s a big thing when it comes to marriage and—”

“ _ Oral _ ,” Erwin spit out, now feeling the same dread and desire of death every time Erwin publicly humiliated him, and suddenly, Louisa lit up with a gasp.

“You perform oral sex on Levi?” she asked, and as Erwin’s eye twitched, he nodded.

“Aww, honey,” Louisa cooed, soon pulling Erwin’s head down and kissing each of his cheeks in addition to his forehead before hugging his head into her chest.

Going down on someone was one of the most intimate and romantic things someone could do to someone else, and she felt happy and prideful knowing that her son grew to become a loving, gentle, and tender man. It made her feel good knowing that she’d raised him, and it felt even better knowing that she’d done it on her own, without the help of others, and that still, he turned out to be the same sweet little boy that would pick flowers for her on his way back from the bus stop when he was a child, and reciprocated that same sweetness onto Levi during their private time. 

“Are we done?” Erwin asked, now earning another kiss and a smile as Louisa let go in favor of starting the pancakes now that the pan was warm.

“You still didn’t answer my question,”

“What question?” Erwin mused.

“If you’re being gentle on him,” she said, “I know that you’re only really able to do things involving the rear, and Levi has a cute butt, so I just wanted to know if—”

“Not hungry anymore.” Erwin stopped her, and truthfully, he thought he’d vomit.

The amount of nervousness and awkwardness rushing through his veins managed to upset his stomach in the worst way possible and he exited the room immediately. He’d never felt that way in his life. Not when he played football, not when he spoke in front of a lot of people, not when he embarrassed himself in school.  _ Never _ . He exited the kitchen as retreated back to his bedroom and locked the door. He didn’t want to talk to his mom if it meant talking about what he and Levi were doing behind closed doors.

Again, it was rare for Erwin to lose his appetite, but, not impossible.


	34. Secret

Erwin and Levi went down for breakfast, that morning, only Erwin and Louisa knowing of what occurred earlier today day but, they just ate, and talked, and spoke about the same things Levi had spoken about during dinner as his parent’s house. Luckily for them, Louisa was both an author and a blogger; she wrote mostly romantic and erotic books guided towards women—also known as those books with the shirtless men and long-haired women dramatically posing on the cover—and she blogged about them. She blogged about women’s sexual wellness and health and was an overall advocate for sexual discovery and acceptance and women all over the world loved her for it. She was comfortable in her sexuality, which was something not all women or, well, people were. She sold sex toys and held discussions about said toys and she made more than a living off of it and she didn’t even have to leave her office.  Erwin knew that once his mother entered her home office she wouldn’t leave until midnight and even if she did, it was for food or a bathroom break, and either of those only lasted for ten minutes. Her routine never changed and neither did Erwin’s as now, he sat in his bedroom playing video games as usual.

Erwin had a gaming PC that he didn’t take to college for the main reason being that he didn’t feel like plugging everything out and plugging everything back in. Plus, it was heavy and expensive, and he didn’t want to risk damaging something and so, he sat at his desk; headset on his head with his hands on a mouse and keyboard as he played yet another video game. He’d forgotten how fun it was playing with his friends from high school and as he typed at the keyboard, and clicked the mouse, Levi took his time to snoop around Erwin’s bedroom.

He’d been in Erwin’s bedroom just about as many times as Erwin had been in his but, now, since Erwin was his boyfriend, he got to _really_ , look around, and by look around, he meant look around for his jack-off material. Erwin’s room was painted dark blue and the carpet was gray. He had a king-size bed, accompanied by two nightstands on either side and as Levi opened the drawer of the one on the left side of Erwin’s bed, he listened to Erwin laugh with whomever he was playing with, and Levi only grinned.

He pulled the drawer open, searching through it only to find it was full of miscellaneous, random stuff; batteries, gum, pencils, rolled and unfinished bags of chips that were now stale along with a few pennies and nickels. Nothing reminiscent of his hormonal, horny, teenage boyfriend.

Levi crept over to the right side of his bed after shutting the drawer, feeling somewhat of a detective as he spotted a box of hidden tissues within the confines of the drawer he’d just opened. He peeked at Erwin before continuing to look through his things, humming quietly as now, he found a few socks, along with a few broken phone chargers, and then, he came across something unusual.

A dense, leather-bound book, or rather, a diary.

Levi peered over at Erwin again, making sure the coast was clear as his eyes were still locked onto the computer screen as he lifted the diary out of the drawer and held it in both of his hands.

He didn’t know Erwin had a diary. He didn’t even know Erwin was the type of person to even  _ own _ , a diary and yet as he ran his hand over the cover and opened it to the first page, he found Erwin’s less mature, and childish signature. He knew that reading someone's diary was one of the most invasive things that he could do to a person but, he'd already opened it and he already started so, there was no point in stopping. January first of two-thousand-thirteen was the date of the first entry, putting Erwin at fourteen years old as now, Levi read through it.

  
  


_ Today suqqed _ , he wrote, as Erwin had started a trend back then to write suck as ‘suqq’. Really he’d misspelled it, and everyone thought he and it was cool for some reason and copied him and it caught on and Levi along with numerous teachers and probably parents hated it.

_ Levi’s birthday was a couple of days ago and I saved up all my allowance and got him those headphones he wanted for a while but he didn’t even wear em. He got on the bus wearing the same broken ones he had and I even asked him why he didn’t wear em and he told me that if he wore em people would think that we were dating. I don’t really get whats so bad about that tho. I really like Levi. So I guess I made it kinda obvi and Levi didn’t like that. I’ll try again next year. _

  
  


Levi remembered. Levi remembered wanting that pair of Hatsune Miku headphones and one day unwrapping them for Christmas but, upon finding out that they were from Erwin, he was hesitant to wear them. He never knew how much he really hurt Erwin over the years and yet, at the end of every entry he was involved in, the same phrase was repeated.

  
  


_ I’ll try again _ , he always wrote.

_ Levi didn’t like it, I’ll try again. _

_ Levi’s mad at me, but I’ll try again. _

_ Levi ignored me, but, I’ll try again. _

  
  


He’d always been so willing to try and try again and do whatever it took and whatever was necessary just so that Levi would notice him and appreciate him. As Levi thumbed through the pages, he skimmed through the generic entries of Erwin googling how big the average penis size was and worrying about it, followed by him writing about some skin thing he had going on between his toes and describing it in  _ vivid  _ detail before finding that it was athlete’s foot but then, he came across an entry with a smiley-face drawn at the top, written on  October eighteenth, two-thousand-sixteen; Erwin was seventeen years old.

_ Today’s my birthday. Or I guess our birthday since I’m reading this. I know that I usually would make a list of all the things I got but their not that important, _ he wrote, using the wrong they’re.  _ Levi wrote me a birthday card, which is weird cuz he usually just calls me and says happy birthday. _

  
  


That was all he wrote, and glued beneath his handwriting was a cut-out of the birthday card Levi had written for him six years ago on a purple piece of cardstock and as Levi read it, he remembered sitting down in the living room of his own home, and writing it.

  
  


_ Happy Birthday Day, Erwy! Hurry up and get a car so that we can ride to school together! _

  
  


And that same winter, Erwin got a job, and bought himself his first car, or maybe,  _ their _ , first car, as Erwin did teach him how to drive a little bit before his father did. Erwin always winced and grimaced whenever he drove over a curb or zipped right through a huge and completely obvious pothole and though Levi cried and worried and apologized over and over and over, Erwin always told him it was fine, and that he did good and was getting better. It was a used car, and it only lasted a year before the engine fried, and even though Levi knew it died due to his own reckless driving, Erwin never blamed him or made him feel like it was his fault and Levi knew that deep down, it was. Erwin told him that he’d save up for another one and when he did, Levi could try driving again, and the thing about Erwin was that he never said something he didn't mean, and never broke any of his promises.  The car Erwin now drove was five years old, and he'd bought it months after he told Levi he would get a new one and he’d need another one in good time but as Levi looked up at Erwin, he found himself thunderstruck, yet again. He could never believe how much Erwin could love him and love him unconditionally without ever, being loved back for so long. He never knew he could mean so much to him. He never knew he could feel so loved. He never knew that the man he wanted to marry and spend the rest of his life with was right under his nose all these years and yet being with Erwin and Erwin being with him felt like a fairytale-like dream he didn't want to wake out of.

“I gotta log off soon,” Erwin said out loud and into his microphone, and Levi could hear.

He assumed his friends were complaining and asking why, since usually Erwin spent a good five or six hours playing online but, Erwin only smiled.

“Bro, I have a boyfriend, I wanna spend time with him,” he laughed.


	35. His Enchantment

Contrary to popular belief, Levi was the one to initiate sex and Erwin simply followed through without question, and that was exactly what happened.

Levi shut Erwin’s diary and hid it away in Erwin’s drawer. He knew Erwin would be logging off soon, and spending time with him only, Levi wasn’t in the mood to sit around and cuddle. He wanted Erwin to love him some more. He wanted to feel the weight of Erwin’s body on top of him again. He wanted Erwin to love him, and really love him. Having realized that he’d neglected him without even knowing it all those years made Levi want to hold onto him and so, as Levi stripped himself of all of his clothes, he laid himself on Erwin’s bed. He laid on his back, one of his hands sitting on his thighs and his other up, and beneath his chin as he nibbled on a finger and ass soon as Erwin logged off, and set his headset on the desk, and laid eyes on Levi, all Levi did was giggle, spread his legs, and beckon him and soon, he had a revelation.  That revelation being that he wanted Erwin to marry him, and marry him now.

“Yes..” Levi moaned happily, gripping onto Erwin’s shoulders as he laid beneath him, having had to feel the wrath of Erwin’s cock as Erwin hammered his little hips into oblivion, “Yes..” he breathed again, feeling Erwin's hips quicken as he rubbed against every nerve of Levi’s inner walls, “Yes!” he shouted once more, gasping soon after and as Erwin held onto Levi’s now shaking, and trembling calves, he listened to his beautiful cry of his angel.

Levi came between himself and Erwin with a scream in pleasure. His body quivered, his hands moving from Erwin's shoulders to his biceps as he held onto them, his hips jolting from his explosive climax and as his ear was met with a deep grunt, he felt Erwin's hips slow he came inside of him with a few more circles of his hips, and Levi only sighed. His body relaxed out of its former arch, relishing in the warm feeling of Erwin’s cum deep inside of him as he licked his lips, and hummed at every throb and twitch. Deep down, a part of Levi wished he himself could get pregnant, wished that Erwin could empty himself out of him over, and over, and over again for the sake of children and as Erwin kissed his cheek, and soothed his heart and body, Levi wrapped his legs around him; he didn’t want Erwin to leave him, not yet.

Levi threw his arms around his neck, a fulfilled and happy noise coming from him that could only be described as a squeal leaving him as he kissed Erwin, and folded their lips between one another’s. Levi swallowed Erwin’s hums, kissing his mouth one more time before Erwin lifted his head, and stared down at his intended with a smile that made the corners of Levi’s mouth tingle.

“You came harder than usual,” Erwin noted, and it made Levi smile, without a doubt.

“I couldn’t help it, you made me feel too good..” he droned, pulling Erwin in for another kiss as a giggle bubbled past his lips while Erwin returned the favor.

Erwin was a gentleman, in many ways. He always opened the door for Levi, held his things, pulled out his chair, made sure he came before he did and most importantly, he made sure his sweetheart was thoroughly satisfied.

He wrapped his tongue around Levi, looping it around only once before kissing him, and pulling away, and leaving him in absolute bliss.  He kissed Levi’s cheek again, followed by his neck, and his collarbone, and his ear, and chest, and his nipples and Levi knew what he was doing and where Erwin was headed and he laid his head against the pillow just the same. He felt Erwin leave him, felt his kisses turn into nibbles and his nibbles turn into licks and as Levi put his hand on Erwin’s head, pushing it lower, and lower, to the place he wanted it and the place Erwin wanted to be, he let himself fall in Erwin’s entrapment, and he opened his legs with ease. He let himself float and drift away as he gave Erwin full control of his body, and as he gasped, the fingers in Erwin’s hair already gripped onto it.  Erwin didn’t hold onto Levi’s legs this time, as he knew Levi wouldn’t fight it. He cupped Levi’s bottom, allowing his tongue to twirl and dance and explore Levi all he wanted and soon, both of Levi’s hands were tangled within his hair as he whispered his name, before following with a quiet moan, and Erwin didn't stop.

Levi’s body shivered as he sighed, listening to the wet and lewd sound of Erwin’s tongue working the magic Levi still couldn’t explain. He let his back arch as he spread his legs even wider, wanting to feel more and more and as he ran his own tongue over his lips, he breathed Erwin’s name once more before looking down at him, and he didn't need to say a word. Levi's eyes met Erwin's, and Erwin sent him to the moon. Erwin looked up at him; feeling his fingers run through his hair before gripping a handful as his name erupted from Levi's mouth in an endearing moan. Levi's nipples transformed into rigid pink buds, his cock standing at attention, his body in a full surrender waiting to be conquered once more as he watched Levi's mouth fall in another moan, yet again. He could taste Levi's slick and his cum on his mouth, he could feel his shaking legs and thighs on his cheeks and he watched Levi's chest rise and heave as he lit Levi's body aflame and he knew what he was doing to him. Levi wasn't able to lie still. He wasn't able to stop moaning, nor could he catch his breath or let go of his hair, and as Erwin pulled his tongue out of Levi, he listened to him suck in a deep breath in the form of a gasp.

He sat up again, holding Levi’s ankles in each of his hands as he stared at the quivering, adorable, pink, and wet tight ring of pleasure that belonged to him, and only him.

Levi had fallen victim to Erwin’s spell again. He couldn't ignore the pounding in his chest and the overwhelming feeling of lust and the want of Erwin inside him all over again even though he’d had him a second ago and as he looked up at Erwin, he only nodded, and that was all it took.

Erwin leaned on top of him again. His body was hot and his kisses etched into his skin and his touch burned and scalded his skin and the only logical reason as to why sex felt this way was because it was sex with Erwin, and Erwin was his soulmate. Levi never used to believe that soulmates existed, he never believed in true love or love at first sight but as Erwin’s cock pushed inside him and threatened to split him in two, he started to become a  _ firm  _ believer.  Erwin was the only man who could make him feel this way and he didn’t have to experiment or run tests to know that. He was the only man that could make his heart beat this fast, make him lose his breath so quickly, make him cry even though it never hurt and make him feel so,  _ so  _ good in such a short amount of time and Levi moaned, quietly. His hands and eyes traveled all the way up Erwin's body, and as Levi's gaze met Erwin's, he cupped Erwin's face with his hands. He felt Erwin's arms wrapping around him, he felt Erwin's eyes staring deep into his own and with his breath lingering atop of his lips and his body making love to his and they never kissed for the simple reason that Levi wanted Erwin to know, what he was doing to him, and he wanted him to know how he felt. 

They laid there, staring at one other, as now, it started to click that both of them, wanted this, and that both of them wanted to be in the lives of one another, and they’d do anything to keep it that way.  Their bodies were entwined, and Levi locked Erwin’s eyes onto his, and only his.  He wanted to be alone, with Erwin. He wanted to take him away, and distract him. He wanted to occupy all of his thoughts, just for now, just this once, just for a little while and he didn’t care if it was selfish. He heard every pleading sigh, he heard every heavy breath, he heard every shaky moan and the more lost Erwin became in Levi’s dark blue eyes, the more Erwin discovered that his mother was right. Sex was important in a marriage but, not in the way that it seemed. It wasn’t important because it felt good, it wasn’t important that it wasted time, he wasn’t important that they both got an opportunity to get off because if that was the case, people wouldn’t bother getting married when they could have as many partners as they so pleased.

Sex was important in marriage because it served as a constant reminder that the person who made love to you and your body would  _ only  _ do such things to you and your body because they love you, and your body, and all of its imperfections and all of its blemishes, and all of its flaws, and they think you and it are equally beautiful. So beautiful, and so astounding, that they wanted to put a ring on it so others knew who you, and your body, belonged to and that meant everything, to Erwin. Everything about it was important . The sweating and the moaning and the kissing and the scratching. The headboard of the bed banging against the wall. The squeaking of the mattress. The heat of each other's bodies and the animalistic nature of it all reminded them that they were lovers, that they were boyfriends, that they were soulmates.

That they were husbands.


	36. Teenage Spirit

They slept the day away, and then some more after that. They fell asleep, woke up, had sex again, then wake back to sleep, and washed, rinsed, and repeated until three in the morning. They never put clothes on. They showered, changed Erwin’s bedding but, they didn’t get dressed again and neither of them minded, and neither of them knew how many times they fucked in a span of five days but, they knew it was more than usual, and nastier than usual, and sloppier and wetter and messier than usual and they loved every second of it and so, neither of them cared.

“She’s not gonna make it,” Levi said, grabbing another slice of the half pepperoni-olive half extra cheese pizza they ordered for dinner as now, they were currently invested in a new episode of Chopped.

“Why would she use the ice cream machine with ten minutes on the clock?” Erwin asked, taking a bite out of his crust as Levi shrugged, and cuddled back underneath Erwin’s armpit.

As if they didn’t sound married already.

“I mean, she has half of her plate done, can’t say the same for beard-guy,” Levi said, taking a bite.

Beard-guy’s real name was Chef Mark but, they weren’t paying attention when it was announced. Though, in comparison to the woman who had foolishly waited last minute to churn her ice cream, Chef Mark put cupcakes in the oven but, forgot to turn the oven on and preheat it. It was the dessert round, the final round of the show and it was hard to tell who was going to win or go home at this rate.

“I think bearded-guy has it, he can just put the oven on five-hundred or something,” Erwin said.

“They’d burn on the outside and the inside would be underdone,” Levi shook his head.

“Yeah, but he’d have something to present,”

“Something inedible to present,”

“Who wants to  _ drink _ , ice cream? Since that’s what the judges are gonna be doing,”

“If she was smart enough she could use liquid nitrogen,” Levi said, setting down his unfinished pizza slice as he licked his fingers.

“They’re not sending beard-guy home, he did good in the appetizer and entree round,”

“So did she, she didn’t even get one negative comment on her duck,”

“Beard-guy still made it though, and if he made it this far, that’s saying something,”

“It’s for views, dummy,” Levi teased him, looking up at Erwin.

“Views?” Erwin looked down at him with a smile as Levi nodded.

“They wanna keep us on edge and not knowing who’s gonna win or who’s gonna be chopped,” Levi grinned. “Dun-dun- _ dun _ !” Levi sounded, making them both laugh as Erwin cuddled Levi closer.

“So your money’s on ice cream chick?” Erwin asked.

“We’re betting?” Levi asked.

“Why not?” Erwin shrugged.

“Okay,” Levi said, sitting up, and on his knees, as he pushed his hair behind his ears. “If ice-cream chick wins, you have to teach me how to play Call of Duty, and you’re doing my math homework for a month, and, to top it all off, you have to tell me what you jerk off to, only ‘cause I’m curious,”

“I don’t,” Erwin chuckled, making Levi’s head tilt to one side.

“You don’t what?”

“I don’t jerk off. When I’m in the mood, I always tell you, don’t I?”

Levi didn’t know why but, he could feel himself blushing. Erwin laying on his back, completely naked underneath the blanket pulled all the way up to his waist with each of his hands behind his head as he smiled at him, admitting that whenever he was horny, he always told Levi about it, and he didn’t lie. Before they were living together Erwin always sent him random texts, saying he was aroused, or rather, sexts, as he sent him a picture or video that made Levi dim his brightness  _ immediately  _ or simply, arriving at he and Hanji’s dorm unannounced just so he could carry Levi to his bedroom, lock the door, and proceed to fuck his brains out.

“I mean before we were a thing, like, high school, and stuff,” Levi said.

“It’s not obvious?” Erwin asked him, as now, Levi grew more confused.

“No, why would it be obvious?”

Again, Levi was the smartest man Erwin knew, and yet, there were times Erwin swore he was smarter than him as now, he moved his hands from behind his head to the space in front of him and pretended to type on an invisible keyboard.

“Petite, black-haired, twinks,” Erwin smirked, “Enter.” he winked. 

And that was enough to make Levi’s eyes widen and his cheeks darken and his stomach flip and his knees wobble and frankly, he couldn’t take the way Erwin was looking at him and so, he quickly shoved a pillow in his face and threatened to snuff him out with it.

That was  _ him _ , Erwin was talking about. That was  _ him _ , who he was describing. Was Erwin telling him that throughout high school he fantasized about having sex with him, and jerked off to the thought of them going at it and more than that, watched porn and pretended it was  _ him _ ? Was  _ that _ the studying Erwin hinted at the first time he went down on him? Did he think he was some pornstar? Did Levi  _ act _ , like a pornstar? Did he sound like one? Did he moan like one? Levi didn’t know whether to be upset at the possible amount of naked look-alikes Erwin had come in contact with and _came_ to or to be embarrassed at the fact that Erwin used to words petite, and twink to describe him and the only unquestionable thought in Levi's mind was that he wanted Erwin dead.

Eventually, Erwin started to pat at Levi’s hands. He wasn’t able to breathe properly but Levi didn’t care. He lifted the pillow, raised it all the way above his head before slamming Erwin in the face with it.

“I hate you!” Levi yelled, hitting him again, “I hate you!” he shouted again, this time hitting the arm Erwin tried to shield his face with, “I hate you!” he screamed once more, hitting him over and over and over before throwing the blanket on top of him, stacking all of his pillows on his face and escaping off of the bed to Erwin’s dresser. He needed to put clothes on. He needed to put clothes on right now and as he ripped a sweater out of Erwin’s dresser, he slid his arms through the sleeves and tugged it down. 

Erwin had untangled himself from his own bed, his maniacal, repugnant laughter meeting Levi’s ear as Erwin watched his adorable little thing wiggle himself into his clothing, he realized yet again that his mother was right; Levi did have a cute butt. A really cute, delectable one. 

“Levi, what’s the—”

“Shut up!” he yelled again.

“Sweetheart, you asked me, did you want me to lie to you?”

“Yes!”

“What should I have said?”

“Anything! You should’ve and could’ve said _anything_ else but that! I’m  _ not _ , a twink!” Levi spun around, glaring at Erwin with a pout with his shoulders right up to his pink ears and rosy cheeks and Erwin didn’t know if he knew how contradicting he sounded and looked.

“You’re not?”

“No, I’m not! And I’m not petite!” Levi squeaked.

“You know, I don’t think lying to each other is best for our relationship. We’ve always been honest with each other, so—”

“Shut up!” Levi yelped, emptying Erwin’s dresser as now he began to throw all of Erwin’s previously folded clothing at him before storming out of his bedroom and slamming the door behind him, and Erwin could only laugh.

Erwin would have never thought that telling Levi the truth would backfire but, he knew he’d be back in a few minutes, as he never liked being left alone, especially after intimacy. Levi liked to be held and cuddled and reminded of how much he was loved all while he was kissed and spoiled as he nuzzled deep into his chest and he liked to fall asleep in his arms after some time.

And if that wasn’t what a twink worthy, Erwin didn’t know what was.


	37. Treehouse

Within their summer break, rather than lazing about and wasting time, Erwin and Levi decided to work together, and do a little something. That little something being the renovation of their treehouse. 

It deteriorated over the years, with all the rain and snow and sun beating down on it with the combination of thermite and other pests but nonetheless, they got to work. In a single trip to Home Depot, they picked up everything they needed; wooden planks, a couple of two-by-fours, nails, wiring, a new door, wood-stain, paintbrushes, few pieces of lumber, and a couple of baby plants that Levi would name and take care of that he’d keep on the window ledge of their treehouse once Erwin installed one. Truth is, Erwin wasn’t a construction worker and neither was Levi, they were both kinda winging it, and guessing, and following along with YouTube videos and the minute someone got hurt, that someone being Erwin, they paused.  Erwin didn’t know how and Levi didn’t know how but Erwin’s finger was bleeding and without thinking and analyzing the situation, Levi slid Erwin’s finger into his mouth. The bacteria in human saliva was a fast-acting solution to minor cuts and scrapes and Levi knew because he took a First-Aid class in high school and yet, as Erwin removed his finger from his mouth, Erwin kissed him, and they lost a few daylight hours as they made love in their treehouse that day.

It took a week to revamp and redecorate but, it was beautiful. They planted flowers at the base of the tree before carving their initials into it, and surrounding the two letters in a heart. Their treehouse was more roomy and homey now, and Erwin could walk through the door without having to bend forward to escape hitting his head. He’d installed a window, and a ledge, and in that ledge sat Levi’s cacti who he hadn’t had the chance to name yet. They had two bean bag chairs and a couch and with Erwin’s wiring that got him electrocuted once, or maybe, twice, they put in a few outlets, but they didn’t plan on buying a TV. After all, they wanted this place to be somewhere they could run away too and be alone and do nothing but talk and talk forever and having a television would ruin that. The outlets were mainly for their mini-fridge, which was now stocked full of ice-cold fruit punch and popsicles. Levi traced the ceiling with white Christmas lights and in front of the couch laid a rug, and in front of that rug stood a wall that was covered in framed, hanging pictures of he and Erwin, from second-grade, up to now.  They’d asked Louisa for the pictures, as well as Levi’s parents, and they each took the time in searching for a stud before hammering a nail in and hanging the picture and once all was finished and done, they held each other, as they looked at, and remembered.

There was a picture of them taken which could have only been when they were nine or ten years old. Erwin was a Mario for Halloween one year and Levi agreed, reluctantly, to be Luigi, and yet they both smiled with their pillowcases full of candy. There was a picture of their first lemonade stand. A picture of them on their bikes. A picture of them at a nearby park, swinging on the swing set. A picture of Levi crying in the snow as it was obvious Erwin had thrown a snowball at him at Levi didn't appreciate it. A picture of their first day of middle school. A picture of Erwin during his man-bun phase and Levi during his emo one. A picture of Erwin in his football gear after winning his first game and even then they looked like a couple. A picture of the both of them at every Homecoming. A picture of the two of them going to their Prom. And a picture of them taken not too long ago, heading off to college. 

As Levi hugged his arms around Erwin, he looked up at him, his chin pressing against Erwin’s chest and not even a second passed until Erwin looked back down at him. 

“We should take another picture, right?” Levi asked him. “Update it.”

“You read my mind,” Erwin said, soon pulling out his phone and opening the camera app. 

They needed to remember this. They needed to document this moment because they wanted to remember it for the rest of their lives and as Erwin flipped his phone so that the camera lens faces them and he held it horizontally. He wasted no time in pulling Levi closer, and tickling him. 

“Say cheese,” Erwin said, knowing that Levi couldn’t say it. 

Levi squirmed, laughing and smiling while Erwin leaned down, he pressed a kiss onto Levi’s blooming cheeks and then:

_ Flash _ . 

It was a physical camera flash, meaning the picture was taken but, figuratively too. Time never seemed to exist when they were with each other. It flew by so fast and they never knew how fast it was going until one of them checked. They’d been going steady for three years coming on four and yet, it felt like three weeks. They were never bored with each other. They were never sick of each other. They never felt like they needed to take a break or stop talking for a while or had an argument so bad that they even broke up and they never went through the things that other couples did and maybe it was because they’d been together long before either of them knew and so, they got used to it.  Levi would never consider himself a mom-friend but, to Erwin, he was. He always made sure Erwin was eating, and sleeping, and studying, and passing, and he always encouraged him during football and he’d done those things before he knew that Erwin loved him. Erwin on the opposite hand had no clue he loved Levi and when he did know, he didn’t tell him, and instead wanted Levi to figure it out on his own. He kept Levi company, made him laugh, took him out, bought him food, was a continuous bad influence on Levi having introduced him to drugs and alcohol far before they were of the age for it but, he just didn’t want to let Levi out his sight. 

They were both so different, and they contrasted in every way. Levi was short, Erwin was tall. Levi was Japanese, Erwin was German. Levi liked Photography and Erwin liked football. Levi was the type of gay that wore makeup and Erwin was the type of gay that didn’t seem gay until it was known that he owned a diary. Levi got good grades and Erwin got average ones. Levi cursed like a sailor and Erwin rarely cursed at all but, they both shared a love of boxed fruit punch, and that alone proved that their friendship, now relationship, would last indefinitely and they believed it would. They believed it would in the same way they believed in true love and soulmates because they were each other’s true love and soulmates and that was that. 

Levi himself couldn’t believe it but, when the thought of going back to school came to mind he actually loathed it. He hated it because being in school and going to class meant being away from Erwin and he wasn’t sure he was ready to distance himself from him quite yet. They lived together, and they texted a lot, and maybe they’d have one or two classes together this year but, still. Being next to someone for all of three months and then having to let go and attend a lecture for an hour and a half was something neither of them wanted to do but, they’d do it anyway, and they’d do it because they both knew that in the end, when they graduated, they’d get a job, and get a house, and get married, and they’d never have to separate again for a long, long, long time.  Levi hadn’t thought of it before and neither had Erwin but, surely they could fly each other out to wherever they were if they ever felt the need to. If Levi had a shoot somewhere and Erwin wasn’t busy, he’d pay for his trip over. If Erwin had a game and Levi wasn’t busy, he’d cover his flight. It would waste a lot of money, sure, but, money never really mattered when it came to just having the one person they cared about right in front of them, next to them, beside them, for even twenty-four hours rather than through a phone or computer. 

This year would be the hardest year of their college career, for both of them. But, they were both equally determined to persevere in the hopes of gaining twenty-four-seven, unlimited and unrestricted access to each other, and as Erwin slid his phone in his pocket, he gazed down as his still smiling tiny, but mighty boyfriend. 

“Wanna get a slushie?” he asked, making Levi nod enthusiastically as he bent down and gave him a quick kiss before bending down even more. 

He held Levi’s waist, picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and as Levi shrieked, Erwin smacked his behind. Levi kicked and hollered and cussed and hit Erwin multiple times as Erwin carried him, calling him all sorts of names as he climbed down from their treehouse with nothing but a grin on his face.

As again, Erwin loved Levi’s abuse. 


	38. Pretty Boy

Today was their last first day of school for the rest of their lives. It was their last year, their last push, the beginning of their final countdown, and Erwin and Levi had already looked over their schedules. In the morning, Levi had Digital Cinematography, and Erwin had Marketing. In the afternoon, Levi had Studio and Applied Arts while Erwin had Probability and Statistics as well as Accounting. After lunch and leading to the afternoon, Levi had Entertainment and Erwin had Economics and after those courses, they both got to meet up at the end of the day, to go to the Public Speaking class they shared.  It was an hour-long class that undoubtedly would be full of seniors since it was a single credit course and was reserved for students who were about to graduate and just needed the extra credit to fulfill their degree. It was a simple class as far as Erwin was concerned. Every week they were given a topic and they had to research it before presenting it to the class and they were graded on their public speaking skills and abilities. It was a piece of cake, for Erwin, but it was Levi’s  _ worst _ , nightmare.

He didn’t like talking in front of people. He didn’t like being the one thing people were staring at. He didn’t like his voice being the only voice that could be heard and he didn’t like the fact that this wasn’t high school and that Erwin couldn’t talk for him, this time. He dreaded that class most of all, and he considered skipping it since it was their last class for the day and no one would care but, Erwin wouldn’t let him. He wouldn’t let him because he knew how hard Levi worked and he wouldn’t let what he assumed was a little stage-fright hold him back from his degree.

They got up, and showered, and got dressed that morning before making a quick stop at the café for breakfast.

Levi had his hair in a high ponytail, wanting to showcase the pearl earrings his boyfriend got him on yet another Valentine’s day as if the promise ring on his hand wasn’t enough and even though Levi had always backed the famous saying of dressing to impress, he wasn’t fond of it anymore. The only person he lived to impress was Erwin, and after countless first days, he couldn’t be bothered. They were nearing the end of September and so, it wasn’t as hot as it used to be. Levi had stolen one of Erwin’s hoodies, sliding some leggings on and a pair of his fuzzy, fur-lined crocs and he sat comfortably in the passenger seat of Erwin’s car as now, Erwin returned from inside the café with their food.

They were running a little late but, it was grace week.

Erwin made his way toward the car, carrying a cardboard cup-holder in his hand while the bag of their goodies dangled from his fingers. He unlocked the door, soon opening it and lowering himself into the car with a small groan as he slammed the door shut with a sigh.

“You wanna eat on the way or stay here?” Erwin asked him, but as Levi reached out to his raspberry iced tea with two sugars, one brown one white, and it was clear that he didn’t mind.

He only stared at Erwin lovingly as he managed to get his order right every time and he didn’t even have to check to know that Erwin got him a toasted plain bagel, with extra cream cheese and raspberry jam along with a warm, chocolate chip cookie, and Levi hadn’t felt so loved in all his life. Erwin gave him a kiss on his cheek, one that made the skin his mouth touched tingle before buckling his seatbelt, starting the engine, and reversing out of the parking lot, and Levi watched him quietly as he sipped through the straw of his beverage.

He noticed how far Erwin’s seat was pushed and tilted back. Driving a car so small and so low to the ground was probably uncomfortable for him considering his height and if Erwin continued to grow, he probably wouldn’t be able to drive it at all but, Erwin never complained.  Levi’s eyes moved all the way up to Erwin’s face, watching him as he drove with one hand on the wheel, and one hand on the gearstick and Levi wondered if Erwin knew just how beautiful he was. He wondered if he knew just how handsome he looked when he drove, how much it aroused him to see him grip the steering wheel so tightly to where his veins were visible, how much Levi liked to see the splashing rays of sunlight hit his eyes, and nose, and lips and highlight the sharp robustness of his jaw and neck.  He wondered if Levi knew how much he loved him, and wanted to love him, and as he stared at Erwin, the hand that one held the gearstick shifted over and held onto Levi’s thigh and suddenly, Levi felt like sinning as he chewed on the straw. 

Erwin's touch always did that to him. Made him want him, made him need him, made him want to do things he wouldn’t dare mention in front of his parents or rather anyone else but Erwin and he could feel Erwin’s thumb rubbing his thigh in small, tender circles. He always squeezed it when he took turns, making sure Levi was balanced and that he didn’t lurch or slide forward or backward or sideways and now, Erwin finally glanced at him, just now realizing how long Levi was looking at him, and it made Erwin worry.

“Did I forget something?” he asked, as Levi only stared at him like that when he was on the brink of ignoring him for doing something stupid, but instead, Levi just smiled.

“No,” he shook his head, but, Erwin still didn’t quite get it.

“Then what’s the matter?”

“Nothing is,”

“But you’re staring at me,”

“I know,”

“Why are you staring?”

“Because you’re pretty,” Levi laughed, making Erwin look at him again for a brief moment as he smiled, before putting his eyes back on the road.

“I’m pretty?”

“Mm-hm,” Levi nodded, continuing to stare at his boyfriend as Erwin could’ve sworn Levi's pupils morphed into the shape of a heart.

“Okay,” was all Erwin said, and truthfully, it was because he didn’t know what to say.

Levi was never someone to hand out compliments, especially when the person he was handing them out to was Erwin. Levi did call him sexy when he wanted a piece of him and handsome when they went out on dates but, pretty was a new one. He’d never been called pretty before, and it made him nervous in the same way he was always nervous around him. He wasn’t going to argue with himself or his own logic because Levi thought he was pretty, and said he was pretty, and that was good enough for him. Soon, Erwin’s hand moved from Levi’s thigh, now holding onto Levi’s hand and as their fingers interlocked, Erwin lifted Levi’s hand to his mouth before kissing the back of it, and rubbing Levi’s thumb with his own.

Erwin didn’t know how he knew but, this year was off to a good start, a real good one.


	39. Cherry

“Woo!” Levi yelled as he cupped his mouth, clapping his hands with a great big smile as the heat from his voice created a fog within the crisp, and cold air of mid-December.

They were a few months into the year and it was Saturday night, and he wasn’t alone at all. He sat within the front row of the stadium, cheering, and screaming, and whistling, and making as much noise as possible as he watched his big teddy bear score touchdowns, and tackle, and run, and he hadn’t had this much fun in a long while. There were advantages to having a tall boyfriend, but, there were benefits of dating an athlete as well. One of those benefits being given the very  _ best  _ seats out of the entire stadium, as Levi was within spitting distance of the field and he could almost hear what the coaches were talking about if he focused well enough.

Levi had been to hundreds of Erwin’s games and the feeling of excitement and pride and adoration and admiration never decreased. Next to him, however, he was accompanied by two of his friends who he’d met via the Art Club he still frequented, otherwise known as Petra and Nanaba. In order to sit where he was sitting, they had to have specific permission from either Levi or Erwin, and it was then when they both realized how much their previous school was willing to do to keep Erwin playing, and playing good and so, whatever Erwin wanted, he got. Levi and Erwin were in college for crying out loud. They were in a college stadium and yet, now, they had VIP-Seating, and though it was never advertised as such, the seats they sat in were of much higher quality and frankly, more comfortable than the hard, plastic seats everyone else was sitting in. There were even stadium-vendors that made rounds with hot chocolate and peanuts and other warm foods and drinks and all but those sitting in this section had to pay and they even had  _ legroom  _ and their chairs reclined and the university they knew never had stuff like this, and it made them feel like absolute royalty.

After all, Erwin had always considered Levi his Prince. He had no intention of treating him lesser than such and if Levi wasn’t comfortable, he wasn’t comfortable. Levi was always cold no matter the season so, his seat had seat warmers. Levi loved Skittles and so, he made sure the vendors always carried it. Levi loved to see him play and watch him do what he did best and so, he gave his world the best seat in the house and if the President of the college didn’t approve what he wanted, he’d transfer, and he’d play for another school, and millions of funds would go elsewhere and he made that threat very obvious. The President nor the Board wanted that and so, again, what their Fullback wanted, he got. 

Behind Levi, Petra and Nanaba sat a  _ horde  _ of hooting and hollering men that only rooted for one man, and since that man was Erwin, it made sense that all of his former teammates sat in this section too. Mike sat there, screaming at the referee for making continuous shitty calls. Moblit sat there, swearing and cursing and flipping off the players of the other team. Dieter sat there, throwing handfuls of candy onto the field whenever the opposite team scored and Bertholdt and Hannes and Marlo and Oluo and Connie and Floch and Gunther and Nile and Eld and  _ everyone _ , wasted no time in stomping and jumping and shooting their fists up into the air celebration whenever Erwin secured another six points.

Petra watched the field with wide eyes as she stuffed her mouth with a handful of caramel corn. The University of Maria was up against Shiganshina College of California; otherwise known as SCC. They were a formidable team, considering Maria was only up by fourteen points but now, it was the second half, and they would be on defense.  SCC was in the possession of the ball and once it was snapped, the whole field was set into action. Their quarterback trotted backward, looking for an opening and looking for somewhere to pass and once he did, all eyes, and cameras, watched as the ball spun, and spiraled into the  _ wrong _ hands, and that was all it took for all the beastly men behind Petra to jump up and yell.

Erwin intercepted it. He intercepted it and no one knew how or how he got there so fast but as he escaped the hands of the man who was supposed to catch the ball, he made a sprint for the endzone, and now, Petra could feel her heartbeat in her chest. She could hear Mike shouting, telling Erwin to go, and run and as the crowds roared and rippled and waved Erwin shot right into the endzone, and stole another six points.

Prior to meeting Levi, Petra was never much of a football fan, or even into sports at all for that matter. She could never get the hang of it or understand the rules but, it came with time, but that wasn’t all. Similar to various people, watching Erwin play was an experience, and it was unreal. She couldn’t see his face or his eyes or even the expression he held but she always saw number twenty-five zipping across the field, delivering an aggressive tackle, tricking defenders and appearing in places no one thought he’d be only to end up hiding the ball beneath his armpit and it felt _amazing_ , to watch him, and as Petra glanced over at Levi who still applauded as he smiled, she could see how happy he was.

She didn’t know what he was thinking or what was going on inside of his head and yet she knew without a fact that he was happy, just like this. Happy to be here, happy to be watching him, happy to be supporting him even if Erwin didn’t know it and she could see the heaviness of love in his eyes and tell that Levi had never taken his eyes off of Erwin, not once. 

After robbing SCC of yet another handful of points, it now became clear how Erwin ‘The Commander’ Smith, was given his nickname, and why it suited him as much as it did. He ran the field, to put it simply. He always had a new plan, a new play, a new strategy. He took charge, he controlled, he knew what was about to happen before it even happened and he wasn’t someone whose movements could be easily read. He was a walking, living, breathing mass of brawn and intelligence and having someone on the field who could move as quickly as his thoughts if not faster was daunting. He adapted to the field no matter what happened. If something unexpected occurred he was quick to abandon his earlier plan and create a new deviation within seconds and somehow have it work perfectly, and it was frightening. The Running Back of the other team was upset, as anyone would be in his position. He hadn’t laid a finger on the ball even three times all game and he was pissed. No matter where he went, Erwin was there. No matter where he looked, Erwin was there. No matter where the ball was, Erwin appeared and it was impossible to outnumber him, outrun him, out- _ anything _ , him. Putting two defenders on him never stopped him, putting three never slowed him, and putting four on created a distraction and let Erwin's team score a touchdown as they'd been adamant on keeping Erwin Smith within their sight and as Erwin made his way back to his side of the field, his blood boiled.

Levi kept his eyes on Erwin, watching as he looked down at his feet, pacing back to his rightful position, and yet, as he did so, a player of the opposite team ran up on him behind and shoved him. It took seconds for Erwin to catch himself before whipping around. He shoved him again, and the ref blew his whistle and then Erwin pushed him back, and as flashbacks of what happened when Erwin was upset whizzed through Levi’s head, the man threw a punch and though Erwin was protected by a helmet, he was quick to pull his arm back and before he could release the punch he oh so wanted to give back, one of Erwin’s teammates held him, and eventually, his whole team swarmed him. The opposite team separated the two of them, and Levi could hear the bits and pieces of muffled yelling as they argued and as the whistle was blown again, and louder, their Coach called for a time-out, and Erwin instantly hustled himself out of the many hands that held onto him.

He didn’t want to be touched. He didn’t want to talk to his Coach. He didn’t want to hear what the fuck the referee wanted to say and as he trudged across the field, looking like he was about to kill someone, he had no such intention.  He made his way towards the stadium wall to where all the watchers were seated. He snapped off his helmet, lifting it off of his head and throwing it to the ground before spitting out his mouthguard and soon, it became clear that Erwin was making his way towards his one and only, and Levi was quick to jump out of his seat. Levi got up, he didn’t know if what Erwin was doing was allowed but he knew when something bothered Erwin it would always bother him until they talked about it. He knew he was the only person he could talk to. He knew he was the only person who could calm him down and speak sense to him and as he walked towards the metal railing that divided them, Levi looked down into those cobalt blue eyes that sparkled in the stadium lights.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Erwin stated, “I just wanted to let you know because I don’t know if we have a lawyer, but I’m gonna kill him,” he told Levi, and Levi could only laugh at him.

“He was just angry, Erwin, football’s a stressful game,” he hushed him.

“So what? He doesn’t think I’m stressed out too? He put his fucking hands on me mid-game, and then calls me a fucking dickhead because what, I’m actually playing? I mean, you saw him, right? Their QB threw him the pass and he didn’t even see it fucking coming so of course I fucking caught it.”

“Teddy,” Levi said softly, another nickname for Erwin that only they knew, simply because Erwin had a hard, bear-like appearance, but was soft, and full of cotton at heart.

“I should’ve put him in a fucking headlock,”

“You know you’ll get flagged for that, don’t be stupid,”

“I don’t care if I get flagged, they can’t take me off the field for something he started. He came up and pushed me because I’m better than him, and he even did it when I wasn’t even fucking looking because he’s that much of a fucking pussy and Levi I  _ swear  _ to you, the minute I get back I’m going to —”

Levi shut him up in the nicest, and gentlest way possible.

Erwin’s lips were salty from sweat but that didn’t stop Levi from reaching out, and holding each side of his face. Levi's tongue ventured into his mouth, beguiling him with every smack of their mouths and every curl of their tongues as he managed to mollify all anger and rage within Erwin’s body without difficulty. Everything around them paused and silenced for what felt like years but was really seconds, and as Levi pulled away from Erwin’s mouth, he peered down to see Erwin with closed eyes and parted lips, as he was successful in removing every harmful emotion and aggravating feeling within him and soon, his eyes drifted open, and Levi was met with those big blue oceans he knew and loved.

“Better?” Levi asked him lovingly, his thumbs smoothing over his cheeks as Erwin nodded.

“One more,” Erwin begged quietly, his voice having lowered six if not seven decibels as Levi leaned in once more, and pressed his mouth against Erwin’s in a brief, but chaste kiss as he listened to Erwin hum as he gazed down at him.

Erwin licked his own lips, his eyes narrowing a little perplexed curiosity as now, his eyes stared at Levi’s mouth.

“What is that?” Erwin asked.

“What’s what?” 

“You taste like cherries..” Erwin marveled faintly, in a zen, dream-like state, as Levi’s lips had always felt heavenly against his own, and tasted ten times better.

“A new lip gloss,” Levi told him with a smile. “And I’ll let you taste more of it when we get home if you promise not to do anything stupid, and win.”

Erwin nodded again, meeting Levi’s eyes with his own as his heart expanded and grew three more sizes. He reached up to the hands that framed his face, holding Levi’s hands before him as now, he took the time in kissing the backs of them, before paying special attention to the knuckle of the finger that Levi’s promise ring laid on and just like that, their promise was secured.  Erwin always did what Levi told him and he wouldn’t ever disappoint him. He wouldn’t break his promise. He wouldn’t do anything stupid, no matter what the other players did to him. He had a game to win for his favorite person in the world, and he planned on doing so to make Levi happy.

And to eat more of his lip gloss too.


	40. Mine

The curtains were drawn, the door was locked, the lights were dimmed and as soft instrumental music accelerated the warming arousal of Levi’s body, he moaned softly, with closed eyes before laying his head back down and onto the pillow Erwin had placed it on. Levi’s clothes were all over the place; his shoes were in the entryway, his shirt was in the hallway, his pants were halfway across the room and his panties were on top of the alarm clock that sat on Levi’s nightstand but right now, as he nibbled on the pillow his arms were wrapped around, Erwin spread Levi’s thighs some more.

He had Levi on his stomach with his hips in the air and his knees miles apart as he slid his tongue around and across the very place only he was allowed to touch. He let his tongue glide over all of Levi's favorite spots, hearing him gasp as his back deepened into an arch even more. Erwin’s right hand caressed Levi’s body while his left was in between Levi’s legs, and underneath his hips, fondling him with gentle strokes as a puddle stained the sheets and Levi couldn’t help but mewl.  He licked his lips before moaning again, as he knew that Erwin was being slow with him on purpose. He was in this position for one reason and one reason alone and that reason was so that Erwin could fuck him silly, and he knew. He knew that if Erwin was too quick with him now, he’d be drained well before the second round, and neither him or Erwin wanted that.

Levi, however, loved being manhandled by Erwin just as much as he loved being loved. He loved when Erwin tossed him and turned him, pulled his hair, put his fingers around his throat, and added more and more pressure over time and as he pushed his hips back, and against Erwin’s mouth, he couldn’t wait to have him inside him even though he knew once he did, he wouldn’t be able to control himself, and he wouldn’t be able to stop Erwin and as soon as Levi felt Erwin stop, and slide a pillow below his hips, he knew that there was no escaping, and he loved it. Levi only hummed. He felt Erwin's hands all over him; his hands held onto his hips before gliding up his body as he trailed his thumbs up alongside Levi's spine before spreading his palms out, and running them over his back and shoulders. From his shoulders, they trailed back down to his hips in the same fashion, and as Erwin layered kisses atop his skin, the dip in Levi's back furthered even more and Erwin let his hands graze over his thighs and down his legs, spreading them as he did so before setting a kiss onto Levi's tailbone as a silent warning.

Erwin took the time to strip all the way down, as he only had his shirt off before but now, he was bare. He took hold of Levi's hips with one hand, and his manhood with the other. He gazed down at Levi, lining himself up and pushing himself in and as he pressed his thumbs into the dimples of Levi’s beck, he watched Levi's mouth open, and his fingers begin to claw at the bedding. Erwin's cock disappeared inside of Levi, little by little, now making Levi's eyes float back open as though Erwin had been inside of him an innumerable amount of times, he still held his breath, and it took his breath away.

Levi could feel it, and feel all of it. It was times like this that made him think that Erwin was bigger than he usually was when really, it was his sensitivity. He moaned Erwin's name before gasping, lifting his head from the bed as he felt Erwin continuously stretching him. His eyebrows furrowed, causing the crease between them to appear and as Erwin's cock pulsated deep inside of him, his stomach burned, and Levi knew that it felt way too good way too early. Levi whined and moaned incessantly, warring with himself as he didn't know if he wanted Erwin deeper or if he was too deep already but as Erwin massaged the toned muscle of his back and hips before laying each palm of his hand on Levi's backside; he let his sweetheart choose. Erwin wouldn't move a muscle until Levi was ready for him to, and the more Erwin soothed him, the more Levi's whines subsided. 

Erwin never moved, but Levi did. 

Levi pulled his hips forward, recoiling from Erwin's merciless and unrelenting cock and as he did so, Erwin watched in pure amazement. It held a sheen, now. It was now sheathed in nothing but Levi's slick and as Levi pushed his hips back, filling himself with Erwin's cock, he let out a moan that made Erwin want to fuck him into next week, and he would. He watched as Levi's hips shifted, he watched as he adjusted himself to his size. He felt Levi's walls squeezing him and quivering around him, he listened to the soft squelching noises that told him that Levi was feeling good and only good and as Levi's ass bounced from making contact with his hips over and over again, a deep, and throaty moan left him. He watched as Levi spoiled himself on the very thing that belonged to him and only him and soon, Erwin held his hips; matching his pace with that of Levi's and as Levi pulled his hips forward, he pulled his back, forcing Levi to meet each of his thrusts as Levi moaned louder in return and as Levi clutched onto the bedsheets, Erwin didn’t intend on holding back.

Levi moaned again, his walls squeezing around Erwin ever so helplessly, and Levi could feel everything. He felt all of its ridges and curves and veins, all electrifying his body as he whimpered, feeling him thrust into his prostate with brutal accuracy over and over and over again while Levi's toes pointed. His eyes clouded, his body brimming with pleasure and as Erwin’s hips gathered momentum, picking up more speed as he proceeded to take what was his, Levi realized that Erwin’s objective wasn’t to just make him feel good, or to fuck him.

It was to destroy him and make him shatter into as many pieces as he could, and as Levi cried, he felt Erwin’s hands pull and spread him apart even more before fucking him harder, and Levi could only scream.

Erwin was relentless, he watched as Levi’s wetness dripped and dribbled out of him, and between his thighs. He listened to Levi moan and yell and plea in his name. He felt Levi’s walls fluttering and trembling from his sheer force and strength and he never offered him mercy. He was soft inside. He was tight, and warm, and wet, and as he let his cock deeper inside of Levi, slamming into his hilt with every thrust, Levi moaned even louder.  Levi's hands reached back, holding onto Erwin's wrists for dear life as Erwin continued to take and ravage him so ruthlessly and there wasn't a single thought in his head. He didn’t know anything and yet, he knew everything. Levi knew his name and his address and what episode of Hunter x Hunter he was on and he knew his Social Security number by heart but right now, all he knew was Erwin. He was drooling; saliva spilling past the corners of his mouth and pouring onto the sheets. His cheeks were soaked with tears, his face a deep pink, and his eyes lost somewhere in the back of his head and though his mind had gone numb, his body didn’t.

Erwin watched Levi, watching as his little hands clung onto him while his nails dug into his skin as he pounded into all of Levi's favorite spots. He listened to Levi scream his name, he listened to the sound of the mattress squeaking below them and the sound of their hips colliding in nothing but lust. His eyes ran over Levi's body before he looked down at where he and Levi were one. His cock was encased in Levi's fluids and it glistened and Levi was drowning in it too, and as he stared down at his precious little angel, he fucked him harder; so hard and so fast and so viciously to where Levi could no longer comprehend as he rutted his hips back and against Erwin's powerful thrusts with a sharp gasp and an intense moan.

Levi felt the knot in his stomach growing, he felt his body giving in to the pleasure Erwin gave him as he could only moan Erwin's name over and over again in some sort of psychedelic mantra he couldn't compose himself from. It was all he could say, all he think of, all he knew, and as his eyes returned from the back of his skull, he reached back even further and gripped onto Erwin's forearms as he cried.  He felt so good; everything in Levi's body felt absolutely amazing as he let Erwin ravish him and he loved it. He loved it because he loved him and his hands and his hips and his arms and his cock and soon, Erwin felt Levi's hands squeeze his arms tightly, feeling his nails burrow into his flesh and his walls clamp down around him and then, Levi came with an ethereal, and vibrant moan in exultation. Erwin looked down at him as Levi orgasmed, watching and feeling his legs tremble as Erwin licked his lips at the very sight, resulting in a few shaky moans, a couple of erratic breaths, before cumming deep inside of Levi with a loud, and heavy grunt and now, Levi panted.

Erwin listened to Levi as he gulped for air and though Levi had only now begun to retract his nails, he’d stopped his hips a long time ago. He looked down at him, feeling him shiver on the inside as now, Levi’s nerve-endings became ultra-sensitive. Erwin let his hands slink down to Levi’s waist, leading a few soft, tender kisses up his spine before kneeling behind him once more, and as he backed out of Levi, he heard him whimper and whine as his thighs shook, and as Erwin’s heart slowed, he began to think he may have been a bit too rough with Levi, as he always did after nights like this.

Levi let go of Erwin’s arms, letting them retreat to the sheets below him as Erwin removed the pillow that had kept his now faltering hips suspended in the air for so long and though Erwin had left his body, and was currently kissing him, and massaging him as he breathed, it felt as if Erwin was  _ ingrained _ , deep inside of him, and he could still feel it, and he wouldn’t dare to try and walk for the next six to eight hours.  Levi felt Erwin turn him over and lay him onto his back, and as Levi opened his eyes to see Erwin on top of him, and in between his legs as he kissed his mouth, he felt Erwin’s thumbs wiping away any evidence of tears, and though Levi didn’t fully have his wits about him yet, he heard Erwin just fine.

“You want me to kiss it?” Erwin asked softly.

By it, Erwin meant the place he’d been inside of for the past twenty minutes, and by kissing, he meant putting his tongue inside. After being so terrible, Erwin liked to spoil him and Levi liked to spoiled regardless of what was happening or what was going on. Levi wasn’t in any pain nor was he hurting but, after having the brains fucked out of him, it was hard to gather his thoughts, let alone put a cohesive sentence together and so, he nodded.

Erwin kissed him again, and as Levi basked in the feeling of Erwin’s big, warm hands and soft, plush lips all over him and his body, he felt Erwin lift his calves, and he listened to the soft jingle of his anklet. Erwin would make him cum again, this he knew. Though he also knew he’d be as gentle and slow as he was earlier that night, and as Erwin slid his tongue over Levi’s adorably pink entrance, Levi moaned, and as usual, his hands went down to Erwin’s head.  Erwin didn’t do much and yet, it invoked a noise out of Levi, and now, Erwin knew Levi was more fragile than how he thought and so, now, as he pressed his lips against it, he made Levi knew that when he said stop, he’d stop, and when he said wait, he’d wait. He'd be careful and treat his body with adoration as he always did and Levi sighed at this, and as Erwin continued, the same desire that ran through Levi’s head whenever they had sex emerged again.

That desire being the exact time and date he would take on Erwin’s last name.


	41. Sunday

Erwin managed to escape out of bed the next morning. He rolled over, careful not to wake or disturb his precious thing, and after lifting the blanket over his still naked body, and leaving a kiss onto Levi’s inanimate lips, he decided to make breakfast rather than going out. Erwin stood alone in the kitchen in nothing but a t-shirt and sweatpants. He had a pot of water coming to a boil on one of the burners of the stove and next to it, he was busy stir-frying a mix of diced potatoes, sausage, and eggs, as he planned on making some sort of breakfast burrito with the combination of the three. Erwin wasn’t much of a cook and so, his cutting skills resulted in more misshapen pieces of food rather than equal ones but, he didn’t think it mattered much. Everything was sizzling and frying and it smelled really good and as Erwin set the fork he’d been stirring the pan with down so he could grab two cups in preparation for Levi’s tea, and his coffee, he heard the sound of a door opening, followed by a soft whine that came after.

He listened to the soft pats of Levi’s feet as he came trotting into the kitchen with one of his hoodies on, and an adorable pout on his face all while he scrambled over to Erwin; instantly squeezing himself between Erwin and the kitchen counter as he clung to him, with yet another whine, while his arms wrapped around Erwin's torso, and his face squished into his chest.

Levi didn't want to be in bed all alone, not after last night, and Erwin knew. Erwin discovered that Levi went through various post-sex phases and with time, he came to understand them fully, and this was one of four stages. Stage one, clinginess; the morning after, Levi always refused to have Erwin leave his side. It didn’t matter if he was going out for a jog, or going to the gym, or going to the bathroom. Levi would carry on until he was allowed to come with and he’d do so all while holding his hand, and adhering himself to Erwin’s skin. Stage two, bubbliness; Levi would be real,  _ real  _ happy, for a day and sometimes two. He’d do cartwheels around the house, bake anywhere between twelve ane thirty-five cupcakes, giggle for what would seem to be no reason, and find an excuse to buy an absurd about of fireworks that they’d light from their balcony, but, eventually, he’d drain himself out. Then comes stage three; carelessness. From having been absolutely drained, Levi wouldn’t leave their apartment, let alone their bedroom. He’d spend all day watching something or catching up on something and he refused to be or do anything productive besides taking various pictures of himself in all of Erwin’s clothes and scrolling mindlessly through Twitter. And finally, stage four, horniness, which was the most important of all. Levi would become exceedingly aroused from the moment he woke up, to the moment he went back to sleep. This included Levi whispering things into his ear during class, touching him inappropriately in public, sending him lewd photos, and equally salacious texts whenever they’re not together in the hopes of getting Erwin on top of him, and usually, it worked.

And then, they were back at stage one again.

But now, as Levi latched himself onto his body, Erwin could only smile as he hugged his arms around him.

"What's the matter?" Erwin asked quietly, his hands caressing Levi's sides and rubbing his hips while Levi nuzzled into him, and hid his face even more.

"Cold.." Levi said softly, and Erwin knew that Levi was always cold.

Erwin had left him. He left him in bed without his arms wrapped around him and Levi didn't like it. He knew he was cold more often than not but he was never cold when Erwin was around. He always kept him warm, and made him feel safe, and made him feel loved, and he didn’t like being in bed or being anywhere where he wasn’t.

"You're cold?" Erwin asked again, making Levi look up and at Erwin as he nodded.

Erwin peered down at Levi, and into those sleepy, lovesick, and blameless little eyes that never ceased to make him feel guilty, even if he'd done something trivial, or done nothing wrong.

Erwin bent down, lifting Levi up and setting him onto the kitchen counter and as he stood between his legs, he kissed him. He held onto Levi’s waist, engulfing him in nothing but heat, and romance, as he sprouted love throughout his body. His lips were gentle, as were his movements. He pulled away for a moment only to shift his head to one side and press their mouths together once more in a tender, passionate good-morning, and as Levi's arms slid around his neck, he pulled him closer. His body molding to the shape of the thermal embrace of his boyfriend but as Erwin separated their lips, Levi's eyes fluttered back open.

"How's that pumpkin, are you still cold?"

Levi looked at him, shaking his head as Erwin kissed his forehead, followed by his cheek. He watched Erwin turn around and grab one of the cups he’d reached for earlier. Levi couldn’t see what he was doing really but, he sat there silently, and then, Erwin faced him again, this time handing him a cup full of his favorite herbal lemon tea that had been sweetened to perfection not with sugar, but with honey. Levi took it from it and held it, being spoiled with yet another kiss on the cheek while his eyes stared down at the light yellow and still steaming liquid before looking back up, and at Erwin.  He turned back around, tending to whatever he was cooking, or at least, attempting to cook, and Levi only watched. He swung his legs as he did so, wondering if this was how Erwin saw the world from his perspective since he was sat up so high on the counter but, while he held his cup with both hands, and took a sip. He never looked away from the man he was to marry and with that thought alone, Levi was pleased.

Erwin was going to be his husband, and that meant he would always keep him warm.

  
  


* * *

  
  


They spent all day together, for obvious reasons. After breakfast, they stood-in, and smoked as they usually did, and watched a couple of films but it was dinnertime and again, neither of them were in the mood to cook and so, rather than ordering in, they decided to go out. On a date that required dressing up, of course.  They got dressed in their jackets and scarves before going out, deciding to walk to their destination and savor the crisp, cool air, and they did so side by side. The sky a pungent yellow, or maybe a subtle orange, and as they walked, dry leaves crunched and crackled below their feet. Levi held Erwin's hand but clung onto his bicep with the other as they walked. He looked around with soft eyes, gazing up at the trees with empty branches that still seemed to full of life. He watched as the plump chipmunks and squirrels run around with stuffed cheeks and continuously stashed their food for the winter. He stared at the Jacaranda flowers that now painted the ground with their light purple petals and as the winds picked up, he observed. He watched the deciduous trees above him shake from the growing winds, those wilting, color-changing leaves floating down to the ground along with the others as they were swept away, and carried elsewhere and it was beautiful. 

It was all so beautiful and yet, as he walked, he took note of the sudden weight on his shoulders.

Erwin had taken his jacket off and draped it over his shoulders, only to hold onto his hand once more. Levi didn't notice how thin the jacket he wore was until he felt the warmth of Erwin's and even then, as he looked up at him, Erwin stopped him before he could refuse or even ask him why.

"You were cold," said Erwin, pressing his lips onto Levi's temple before holding him closer as they walked but, Erwin was wrong.

Levi wasn't cold. It was thirty-seven degrees and decreasing every minute but Levi wasn't cold. He could never be cold, not with Erwin's warm words, heated kisses, balmy touches, and burning love. The heart that sat between Erwin's lungs was unmatched and it would never reduce Levi to such bitterness. The heart that loved Levi would always love him. The heart that loved Levi would always care for him. The heart that loved Levi would always support him, and comfort him, and make him feel like the happiest man alive and the heart that loved Levi would give him the jacket off of his back, no matter how cold it was and as they arrived at their dinner spot, Erwin lifted that same jacket off of him, set it on the back of his chair before pulling it out, waiting for him to sit, and pushing it back in.

When they got there, they were stopped by a man who Levi assumed was the person responsible for monitoring reservations but as soon as Erwin gave him his name, he smiled before bowing and replying with a respectful ‘Right this way, sir.’, and Levi couldn’t believe his eyes after that.

Levi clung to Erwin's arm as they followed the man, his eyes shifting to the live band that stood on a dimly lit stage, playing a mix of what sounded like jazz and blues with saxophones, trumpets, trombones, and a piano. He heard small voices talking and laughing, glasses clinking, tableware making sounds as people ate but then, Levi was sat down. The seats were made of leather and suede, the table a rich dark wood, and sitting atop it laid a dark red table cloth. On it, there were piles of plates for two people, two glasses on either side complete with silverware, cloth napkins, and candles and as Erwin unbuttoned his jacket as he situated himself, Levi watched the light dance across all of his features, and his eyes cascaded the many features of the man before him.

He looked at the veins in his hands that crawled up arms and spreads throughout. The natural rawness and rigidity of his growing facial hair. The firm chest muscles that muffled his cries when he was hurting yet pillowed his ears when he needed comfort. The pink, plump lips that greeted him with a new day, or soothed him all the way to sleep. The bright blue eyes that watched him, admired him, and adored him unequivocally and it was then when he found that Erwin's physical attributes never accounted for the blazing, crackling, and everlasting amount of love he was capable of giving.  His heart never sputtered. It sizzled with devotion and ardor and once it was torched it never subdued, and that fire within his chest had been lit for three years, and it never went out.

It was an eternal flame.

Erwin was warm. He'd always been warm, and for the longest time, Levi couldn't explain it. There was nothing he could compare Erwin's warmth to, nor was there anything he could find similar to what Erwin emitted. His warmth was unique, unable to be explained with scientific reason or logic because Levi was the one who ignited him, and he’d always been.

They'd ordered food and wine; Erwin, a pan-seared chicken filled with a cream cheese and spinach stuffing, with a side of both mashed potatoes, and steamed vegetables, and Levi, grilled salmon, smothered in teriyaki sauce, with a side of seasoned brown rice and asparagus, both of their meals accompanied by individual glasses of water, and wine.

And they ate.

They didn't talk much, but, only because they didn't need to. They shared a glance, catching each other's eyes for only a moment before looking away sheepishly, like a pair of teenagers on their first date. They mocked each other. When Erwin raised his glass of wine to take a sip, Levi did the same. When Levi went to take a bite of his food, Erwin copied him. Levi stroked Erwin's leg with his foot beneath the table while Erwin undressed him with nothing but his eyes and before they knew it, their plates were empty. Levi sat there, wearing a brown turtleneck and black high-rise jeans with his elbows folded neatly on the table, and his hands forming a canopy for his chin to lie on. His hair was tucked behind his ears, showcasing his thick eyelashes, thin eyebrows, button nose, and kissable lips and while he stared at Erwin, Erwin stared back.

He observed the small tint of his cheeks that he always carried, the rosiness of his soft, blush-colored lips, and the dimples in his cheeks that appeared whenever he smiled at him. The earrings he wore on his ears and the ring on his finger dazzled brightly in the flickering candlelight, but it didn't compare to the twinkle in Levi's eyes. Erwin had known those eyes for a while now but the difference between looking into them now and having looked into them for the first time was that this time, Erwin knew everything, and every secret, that Levi held behind them. Erwin had seen those eyes when Levi cried. He'd seen those eyes when he was angry, high, betrayed, confused, upset, drunk, excited, stressed, and happy. He'd seen those eyes when he made love to him, over and over again. Erwin had seen those tender eyes for what felt like a lifetime, and he knew what each gaze, stare, and blink meant, and Erwin didn't know where the time went.

It all went so fast and so quick and it all seemed so short and Erwin wished it would all slow down when it came to appreciating Levi. No matter how much he loved Levi, he needed to love him more. He needed to tell Levi more, and more often, just make sure he knew. He needed to kiss him longer, hold onto him a little tighter, convince him to stay a bed for a snooze or two. Time was moving too fast. Erwin's mind was fast and quite possibly, faster than a bullet and yet, time had beaten Erwin by a landslide and Erwin didn't like that because he didn't like to lose, especially when Levi was on the line because Levi was his everything. 

Levi made him, so,  _ so  _ happy.

Levi turned all of his mistakes and fuck-ups and miscalculations into a lesson and so whenever he bullied himself for it, Levi reminded him that he was human, and whatever he blamed himself for only built character in the long run. After games, Erwin rewatched his own clips and ridiculed himself and it only took ten minutes for Levi to shut the TV off, remind him that he won, and that he was more than just proud, before kissing him, and dragging him to bed, and he’d done that more than once. Levi always hit him whenever he tried to sneak regular coffee into their apartment, as he always told him to drink decaf because sometimes he got headaches, and he knew Levi didn’t like seeing him in pain. Levi yelled at him when he didn’t fold his clothes properly and laughed at him when he flushed the toilet when he was showering just so that the water would turn unexpectedly cold but he loved  _ everything _ , and every aspect, about Levi, and it made him want to give him everything he could have ever wanted. Not only was he deserving of love but he was deserving of everything sweet and soft and nice in the world and Erwin’s objective was to give that to him, no matter what, and it was difficult to persuade Erwin to do or not to do something once his mind was made.  He wanted to make Levi just as happy as he made him, but, he didn’t know he’d already succeeded in that.

Levi had been drinking for a while, and though they shared a bottle, Erwin only had one glass, and the bottle was nearly done. It felt good in his stomach and warmed him from the inside out. Wine, mixed with good food, a pleasant ambiance, and a handsome man who just so happened to be his boyfriend sitting across from him meant happy Levi, and as he smiled, he spoke.

"We're having sex when we get home, right?" Levi asked with a smile, earning a laugh from Erwin as Levi's eyes fell down his mouth; pearly white teeth surrounded by full lips and a slight scruff, and instantly, Levi wanted it between his legs.

"'Course we are," Erwin answered, lifting his glass of wine to his lips as Levi leaned closer, tilting his head a little as he watched Erwin's Adam's-apple shift whenever he swallowed.

"What are you going to do to me?" Levi asked softly, watching as Erwin set the glass down after drinking before pushing his tongue out of his mouth, and licking the access alcohol.

"You'll see," Erwin said, a grin stretching across his face while Levi crossed his legs. 

Normally, Levi never liked surprises. He didn’t like surprises unless it was his birthday but, even then, he always expected the unexpected but, now, the thought of Erwin doing whatever he wanted to him turned him on. Sexual surprises involving Erwin did more than invigorate him.

"Can you give me a hint?" Levi looked at him with a pout as Erwin chuckled.

"Finish your wine, sweetheart."


	42. Always

Erwin walked Levi to class the next morning as he always did. It was true that their classes were on totally opposite sides of the building but, a tardy never scared Erwin, and he rarely got them anyhow considering who he was. That morning as Levi sat through his Digital Cinematography class, he couldn’t help but overhear what just about everyone was talking about. He kept hearing the question ‘Did you see it?’, and as he walked in the hallways to his next class, everyone had their phones out with their headphones plugged in, asking ‘Did you watch it?’.  Levi didn’t really know what was going on. He assumed that there was some video floating around that got everyone’s attention and if it managed to pique the entire school’s interest, it probably had something to do with a trailer for a new season of a popular Netflix show that was doubtlessly based on guns, sex, drugs, or a mixture of the three and truthfully, Levi wanted no part in it.

He was almost done for the day, having just left his Entertainment class. He had an hour to spare before his last class of the day, and he was excited to see Erwin more than anything but, for now, he decided to go to the library.  He had a presentation due on Wednesday and he wasn’t quite finished and so, after tucking his hair behind his ears and pushing his earphones into his ears, he got to work, and he worked silently. He set a timer on his phone to go off twenty minutes before his Public Speaking class began so that he had enough time to pack up and get there but now, as adjusted the font size and spacing of a few slides, an iMessage appeared at the top right of Levi’s laptop, and it was from the group chat he’d created with both Nanaba and Petra in it.

Levi dragged his finger across the mousepad and clicked on it, and as his messages opened up, he froze, for a second.

Nanaba had sent a link to the group chat. A link, that led to a video, and that video had a thumbnail with  _ Erwin’s  _ smiling face on it. It had been uploaded to Youtube and posted beneath the University of Maria’s public channel and it was titled, ‘Inside The Mind of The University of Maria’s Erwin Smith’. Their University only ever uploaded videos on their channel twice a year, and usually, it was just their mascot going around and doing weird things during holidays but this was an interview, and if it wasn’t, it was a question and answer type of thing but, before Levi had time to comprehend why Erwin didn’t tell him about it, Nanaba send a follow-up message, and it made Levi wonder if  _ this _ , was the video everyone couldn’t shut up about.

_ You need to watch this _ , she texted, and just like that, Levi plugged his earphones out of his phone and shoved them into his laptop before clicking on the video and finding that it already had over half a million views, and was nearing seven digits. All comments were disabled, as it seemed that since Erwin was being interviewed by a person with a major in Journalism, it wasn’t considered professional since it was being done for a grade but, that didn’t stop Levi from putting the video on full-screen, and pressing play.

The video opened up with a black stool, and a white backdrop. It was like that for the few seconds until the slow, but heavy sounds of footsteps could be heard as Erwin walked on screen. 

Erwin wore a white polo, fitted gray trousers, and a black belt tied around him. His chest could be seen right through his shirt, and the sleeves of his polo cinched around his biceps before trailing down to his hairy, well-defined arms and as Erwin sat down and onto the stool, only his waist up was shown. He sat down, and cleared his throat, and seemed to be looking around the room in a bit of curiosity but those blue eyes shined brighter than they usually did. Erwin had his hair parted to the side, his face and skin was clear, and clean-shaven; displaying his sharp jaw, fine cheekbones, slightly narrowed nose and opulent lips that Levi adored so much and as Erwin looked into what Levi assumed was the camera, the sheer sight of those eyes piercing right into him made Levi’s heart panic without fail.

“Oh,” Erwin looked away quickly, “am I not supposed to look there?” he asked, speaking to whoever was behind the camera as they laughed.

“You can do whatever makes you comfortable,” she said, a woman’s voice but, Levi didn’t know who, and as Erwin nodded, and smoothed a hand over his shirt, Levi didn’t want to blink. Erwin didn't look nervous or skittish, as he never really was in any sort of situation besides that one time he asked to speak with his father. He looked handsome. Really, handsome. Levi didn't know if it was the camera on him or the way his clothes fit or the way the lights hit him but, Levi couldn't get over it. He didn’t look like teenage Erwin. He didn’t look like football Erwin. He didn’t look like any Erwin Levi could identify in his mind but he looked like a  _ man _ , and that made all the hairs on Levi’s body stand.

“I’m sure you know why you’re here today but, I’d like to just, give a little recap if that’s okay with you,” she said, and Erwin nodded again. “From what we all understand, you’ve risen from humble beginnings to somehow, amassing the same amount of wealth that guys who are already in the league start off with and you haven’t even graduated yet. Everyone in the state of California knows your name and wants to see you in the NFL and are already investing in you and your future and the things you’ll do and I’m positive that you know of this as well considering that you’ve done your fair share of endorsements and in that, you’ve become a celebrity,” she said, making Erwin laugh as Levi knew he didn’t really associate with that word very well. “So, I’d like to ask why you chose to play football in the first place? I’ve done my fair share of research and found that you had quite the athletic career in high school so, in the end, why did you choose football?”

Levi could tell that Erwin was only a little mortified at the fact that this woman had researched him but, he searched his thoughts for an answer.

“I actually don’t really know,” Erwin said, in his deep, amorous voice, “I played a lot of sports when I was younger and I still do now, but, it’s just recreational. I think I ended up picking football just because it was the easiest to understand.”

“Would you say football made you who you are or maybe,  _ is _ , who you are?” Erwin thought for a while, and Levi expected him to say yes because he knew how much Erwin loved football and loved playing it but, Erwin shook his head.

“No, I wouldn’t say that,”

“And why’s that?” she asked him.

“It’s a part of me, but, it’s not all of me, you know? Playing college football did open up a few doors and gave me the opportunities to do some things I really wanted to do but, I don’t think I represent football as much as other people think I do.” he shrugged. 

“You mentioned opportunities and doing things you really wanted to do, would you care to elaborate on that?”

Erwin blinked, he didn’t know what she’d just asked him simply because he’d never heard the word elaborate before and he didn’t have even the slightest clue as to what it meant.

“Sorry, could you.. uh, re-word that?” he asked innocently, and it made Levi smile as well as the woman.

“Could you explain the opportunities you were given?” she clarified before laughing again, as it seemed Erwin always had the ability to make others happy or amuse other people without even trying; he was only sitting there being adorable, and Levi could tell that he was doing this for her, so that she could get a good grade, and that this wasn’t for him.

“Oh, well, you know, money,” he put plainly, and his earnestness made her laugh even more as he grinned. “I’ve always wanted to pay my mom back for everything she’s ever done for me so, having the opportunity to just, write her a check even though she wasn’t expecting it made me feel good. A while back last summer I had a chance to give back to my community and even now, I get to take my fiancé out on these dates and these trips and I just, give him whatever he wants and doing things for the people who mean the most to me makes me feel good too.”

Fiancé. Erwin just said the word  _ fiancé _ . Fiancé was engagement, it meant marriage, it meant proposal, and as Levi’s heart crawled up and into his throat the woman who interviewed him caught onto that word too.

“Fiancé? You’re engaged?” she asked in a gossipy tone that made Erwin’s legs bounce with excitement as he rubbed his knees.

“Well, no, not yet, but, I have the ring and everything. I just, need the right time.”

“I can’t help but notice that you seem far more interested in talking about this instead of football,” she said, having noted Erwin’s bright eyes, jittery movements, and childish jubilation the very moment marriage was brought up.

“It’s cause I love him,” Erwin said as if it wasn’t obvious enough. “My boyfriend's a big part of me and my life, more than football is and ever was. He’s been with me all the way, before I even got into the sport and he's the reason I'm here. Here as in, like, in school and playing ball and a lot of other things. I do it all for him. Everything I do is for him because, you know, I wanna make him happy." he shrugged. "I wanna get him a nice car, and a nice house, and all the shoes he could ever want and there’s this camera,” his eyes lit up. “There’s this camera he really, _really_ wants because he likes taking pictures and he’s real good at it too, you should see the pictures he takes but, he thinks I don’t know that he wants it but I know him, and I know that he wants it, but I’m saving up for it so it's all good, but I think I’m taking too much,” he said. “Am I talking too much?”

“No,” the woman said, and Levi could tell she was smiling. “In fact, this leads me to my last question; with football season coming to an end and this being your last year; what would you consider your biggest achievement throughout your college career?”

Erwin didn’t pause. He didn’t need any time at all to answer.

“Marrying my soon-to-be fiancé.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Levi sat in their Public Speaking class, waiting for him. He sat there, staring at the door, watching for the exact moment he’d walk in. He listened for a text or call from him, listened for his footsteps, or maybe the sound of someone else calling his name and it’s important to remember that Levi was never a patient person by any means.

After watching a video like that, people would think that whomever his current boyfriend was was as happy as can be but Levi wanted to cry. He wanted to go home, and cry, and cry for hours, and though nothing was happening to him and he wasn’t feeling sad he just wanted to cry. He held back the urge to with every passing second and as Erwin walked through those doors, his eyes never wasted time in filling up with water. He watched as he made his way to the back of the classroom where they always sat, carrying a water bottle in one hand, and Levi’s snacks and sweets which he got for him from the vending machine in the other no less, and as Erwin sat down beside him with a soft grunt, he set his box of fruit punch, along with his usual candies down.

“Hey snowflake,” Erwin said to him, taking his bookbag off and setting it on the table in front of them as he unzipped it, and began to pack his things out. “How was your day?”

Erwin pulled his own laptop out of his bag before setting his water bottle down too. He retrieved his phone out his back pocket and his headphones out his bookbag and soon, he realized that Levi hadn’t answered him yet. By now, Levi would have told him all about his annoying professor that never quit bothering him in his Applied Arts class but, as Erwin looked over at him, he stopped what he was doing immediately. Levi sat there, staring at him with flooded eyes and a tear already falling from the corner of his eye and the moment Levi sniffled, Erwin was quick to hold him by his face, and wipe his tears away before fretting as he usually did whenever Levi was upset, or anything but happy.

“What happened?” he looked down at Levi’s now slightly squished face as his eyes wouldn’t stop dripping.

“What did I do?” Erwin asked.

Levi shook his head, staring at him as his eyes overflowed.

“Did I do something?”

Levi shook his head again.

“Did someone else do something?”

Levi did the same thing.

“Tell me who did it, I’ll fix it, I promise,”

Levi whimpered.

“Was it your professor?”

Levi snuffled.

“Was it someone in your class?”

Levi’s eyes never stopped running and Erwin’s thumbs were wiping them away just as fast and as he frantically tried to figure out the source of Levi’s tears, panic now began to set in as he was worried that someone may have hurt Levi or done something to him as he never liked not being able to walk him to class all the time for the clear reason that he didn't like not being beside Levi all the time but then, Levi spoke.

“I love you..” Levi sobbed quietly, gazing up at him with light pink cheeks, congested sinuses, and already puffy eyelids and though Erwin didn’t understand what that had to do with why he was so upset, he didn’t hesitate to lift Levi into his lap, and hug his arms around him.

“I know you do,” Erwin reminded him, listening to him hiccup while he set his chin on the top of Levi’s head, feeling Levi’s arms snake around him. “I know you love me and you know I love you but, that’s nothing to cry about sweetheart.”

For the first time, Erwin’s words did the opposite of making him feel better, as now, he sat in Erwin’s lap, bawling his eyes out in muffled cries all while he dampened Erwin’s shirt, and he had no intention of letting go of him.

He knew Erwin loved him. He knew Erwin loved him but that wasn’t what made him want to cry, and was making cry even harder now. What made him cry was that in normal relationships, there was always a chance of losing someone. There was always a chance that they’d fall out of love, or someone would get hurt, or maybe things would just stop working the way they used to and so, there was always a chance of a relationship never lasting. What made him cry was that he knew that he’d always have this. He’d always have Erwin’s hugs. He’d always have Erwin’s kisses. He’d always have Erwin to ask him if he was okay and how his day was. He’d always be able to sit in Erwin’s lap and cry and he’d always have Erwin to make him feel better after and he’d always have Erwin to talk to, every day, no matter what.

He’d always have Erwin to love him, and that was what made him wail.


	43. Big Teddy Bear

They skipped that class.

Eventually, Levi stopped crying but, Erwin didn’t think it was good for him to be in class since he wasn’t feeling so well and something was clearly wrong and so, with a minor lie, he managed to get both he and Levi out of Public Speaking for the day, and drove Levi home. Still, he didn’t really know why Levi had been crying but, he knew that when he brought it up, Levi started bawling all over again and after they got home, Erwin didn’t mention it. Instead, he helped him undress. He boiled him some tea and even baked him some of those pre-made Pillsbury cookies and with time, Levi fell asleep, and Erwin didn’t dare wake him. He was completely unaware of the video that Levi and the entirety of the school had seen, mostly because it was taken a while back, and Erwin didn’t think that his University would run it on their channel. Some girl who he wouldn’t be able to remember the name of asked to interview him for a project and Erwin wasn’t the type to say no for any reason in particular and she said it would be quick and it was and that was that. He didn’t know it was the reason for Levi’s crying, and even if he did know, he wouldn’t understand, therefore, he wouldn’t understand the reason behind Levi’s not-so-sudden tears.

Erwin had a heart of gold, and somehow, everyone but he himself knew.

What made Erwin feel good was the sight of seeing those he loved and cared for and appreciated, happy, and he was willing to do everything to keep it that way because that was all he ever needed. Sure, he liked watches and luxury vehicles and video games as much as just about anyone would but, he didn’t  _ need  _ those things. He needed family, friends, people to talk to and laugh with and rely on and go to when he was going through something he needed assistance or support with. He needed love from every direction, and he was openly selfish about it. He had his mom and Levi’s mom and Levi’s dad and he had Levi and as long as he had those four people, and as long as those four people were smiling, he’d be happy. And more than that, he had friends, and good ones.

All of his football friends had become his brothers and for someone who was raised as an only child, his friends had become his family too.

The people who Erwin kept in his life were there for a reason and those he cut out were out for a reason and that reason being that they didn’t bring Erwin love. He kept himself surrounded by people who knew him and liked him and loved him and knew how to make him chuckle and stood by him not because he was Number Twenty-Five, Erwin ‘The Commander’ Smith from The University of Maria, but because he was Blondie, or Erwy, or just, plain ol' Erwin from high school who could chug a beer in seventeen seconds flat and let out a  _ mean _ burp without vomiting. 

It was easy to like and to love Erwin because of his demeanor. Regardless of what people thought of him, Erwin was still just a kid. He did stupid stuff and drank from beer-kegs at parties and snickered at fart-related jokes and laughed at cat videos so much to where his stomach hurt. He talked to strangers like he’d known them his whole life and introduced himself to random people as if they’d known him and was able to light up a room with his signature smile alone. There wasn’t a lot of people like him in the world, and maybe that was why people flocked to him. He made his friends from high school become friends with his friends from college and he was able to replicate that ten times over with people he didn’t even know and maybe that’s how everyone knew his name. Not because he was a Fullback, but, just because he was funny, and loud, and weird.

Just because he was Erwin. 

As of now, it was a mere eleven minutes to four in the morning, but as Levi slept, Erwin laid awake. He'd woken up a while ago at random, less than ten minutes ago and now, as he leaned over top of Levi and stamped gentle kisses onto his neck, he didn't know what came over him. He'd always had a thing for waking Levi up and doing naughty things with him, but this time was different. This time he wanted to hold Levi. He wanted to really, hold Levi, and he couldn't fight the feeling.

He trailed his kisses to Levi's ear, feeling him shift and stir quietly while Erwin's hands roamed his body. Erwin's hands were amorously warm, and as he ran it over the sides and curves of Levi's body, Levi took deeper breaths; Erwin's touch causing him to fall into an even deeper sleep while Erwin pecked his inanimate lips before moving out of Levi's grasp. He re-positioned himself, along with Levi. He laid Levi onto his stomach, careful not to wake him as he hovered on top of him. Erwin moved slowly, and without noise, letting his hands push and slide Levi's shirt up, revealing the minor fraction of underwear he was wearing while exposing the skin of his back. With the small amount of light from the hallway, Erwin could see that Levi was wearing some sort of g-string, and it did more than invigorate him, and it made his mouth salivate.

He glanced up at Levi as he held his hips, raising them off of the mattress just a bit as Levi droned softly. He bent over as he laid soft kisses onto Levi's lower spine and tailbone, peeling his underwear off of his hips, and down his thighs, and over his knees, before lining his kisses between Levi's legs. He dropped Levi's undergarments onto the floor beside the bed, both of his hands cupping the cheeks of Levi's bottom as he massaged and kneaded the flesh beneath his fingertips and as Levi cozied himself into the pillow he laid his head on, Erwin set his tongue on the part of Levi that belonged to him, and Levi's body subconsciously relaxed. 

With a dip in Levi’s back and a lift in his hips, Erwin widened and flattened his tongue; pleasing Levi with gentle strokes while spreading him apart. He gazed up at Levi while his tongue brushed over his favorite nerves, only to find that Levi's mouth had opened, and his hips were now moving, and rolling against Erwin's mouth while the sound of his adorable, soft, and light breathing filled the room.

Levi didn't know if he was awake or asleep or in the middle of some sort of erotic, wet dream but something felt really, really good, and as that something traced around the circle of pleasure that laid between his thighs, Levi latched onto the pillow, and dug his fingers into it and as his eyes opened, he moaned.

Erwin spread Levi apart even more, gaining access to more and more of Levi's skin as he pushed his tongue inside of Levi, listening closely as he heard a gasp leave his mouth. Levi was awake, he was sure of it now, but, he just didn't know what was happening yet, and the fact that he didn't know aroused Erwin all the more.

The hairs on Levi's body stood, waves on pleasure washing over him endlessly while Erwin's tongue awoke the nerves inside of his body. Levi moaned, feeling that same warm, wet something twirl inside of him before pushing in and pulling out in a hypnotic rune and his breathing grew heavier by the second. He shut his eyes as he moaned, identifying the feeling of Erwin's hands on his body and his tongue inside him and as soon as his fingers gripped onto the pillow ever so desperately, he raised his head off of it, and Erwin stopped.

Levi was awake now, but that didn't mean he was completely or fully alert. He looked back at Erwin, his face flushed and his eyes so translucent they looked as if they’d turned to glass. Erwin only peered down at him as he took hold of the hem of his own shirt off, peeling it off and tossing it elsewhere. He pulled Levi's hips closer, spreading Levi's knees apart so that he knelt between them, and so Levi couldn't close them, and there wasn’t anything going on in Levi’s mind.

All he knew was that his body felt hot, and jittery, and he didn’t want Erwin to stop. The heart in his chest pumped slowly, and as Erwin leaned over his body and pressed kisses onto his neck, he met Erwin's mouth with his own; kissing him adoringly while his eyes drifted away once more. Erwin's tongue danced around his own, his teeth nibbling at his lips and his mouth spreading a certain warmth around his body and while Levi awoke, he felt something push into him. Something big, and hot, and as it drove deeper, and deeper, and deeper, inside of him, Levi couldn't help but moan.  Erwin took his mouth off of Levi's, kissing Levi's shoulder along with the nape of his neck while his hands held Levi's hips and his thumbs pressed into the dimples of Levi's back. Erwin sat up, kneeling behind Levi as he watched Levi push back against him. Levi's walls squeezed around him, his eyes peering down at Levi before he pulled his hips back and sent them forward, watching as the hands that latched onto the pillow held on even tighter.

Erwin was deep,  _ really  _ deep, and as his hips gathered speed Levi found himself moaning without end. Erwin's cock nudged his prostate with every thrust, his tip pushing and pressing against his hilt as the sound of Erwin's hips clapping against Levi's thighs made Levi chew on his bottom lip. He gasped, feeling Erwin's cock rub against a bundle of nerves Levi couldn't resist and as his moans grew louder, his walls grew tighter. He moaned Erwin's name, feeling his hips give it to him harder, and rougher, while he whimpered in submission.

Erwin knew what he was doing. He knew what spots Levi liked, and what parts he loved, and what areas he couldn't take. He spread Levi's legs more, rooting his cock deep inside Levi and as he watched Levi's slick run down his thighs, Levi's hand let go of the pillow. Levi reached behind him, wrapping his fingers around Erwin's wrist while he unsuccessfully stifled a moan.

Erwin wiped his tongue over his lips, the hands on Levi's hips firming as he pulled Levi onto his cock, forbidding him from running away or squirming as he thrusted into him, relentlessly plowing into Levi's pleasure-filled walls as Levi cried out in gasps and moans and yells and whines of his name and Erwin never stopped. He looked down at Levi, loving how his body bounced from the force of his hips as he pummeled Levi's hips into the bedsheets.  Levi inhaled sharply, the hand holding onto Erwin's wrist squeezing so tightly his knuckles became white. His body was overcome with pleasure; his cock oozed, his nipples were rigid, his walls trembled and his legs quivered as Erwin's cock hammered into him without mercy. Levi couldn't take it, he couldn’t take the wet noises and he couldn’t take the sounds that came from Erwin and he couldn’t take how good everything felt and he tried to hold on, but, the rate in which Erwin was drilling onto his prostate, he couldn't. 

With a moan in Erwin's name, Levi came onto the bedsheets. The pressure in his body dissolving into pure bliss as Erwin's unyieldingly pleasurable hips slowed almost instantly.

Levi eased into the bed, feeling Erwin’s hands begin to explore his body as he sighed, and caught his breath. He felt Erwinleaving his body, before pushing all the way back in, and just like that, with a groan, Erwin released; submerging his cock deep inside of Levi as he came inside of him. He let go of Erwin's wrist, laying it on the pillow in front of him before looking back at Erwin.

He didn't know what brought Erwin to waking him up, only to make love in the middle of the night but, he didn't regret it, and neither did Erwin. Levi didn't know what came over him and nor did Erwin, and as he pulled his hips backward and left Levi's body, only to turn Levi onto his back, he laid between Levi’s legs, and looked down at him.

What happened just now couldn't be explained by either of them, but their hearts wanted more of each other, and that was something they both knew as they laid there, gazing into the eyes of one another.

Levi ran his thumb over Erwin's bottom lip before pulling him closer, and kissing him again. Their eyes closed, and their mouths traveled, and Levi's hands moved from Erwin's face and trailed down the muscles of his back. His nails brushing against the flesh while their lips lured each other in for more as if every kiss was their very last. Their breathing mingled in the small moments where their lips weren't pressed together and as Levi's nails scraped down Erwin's back, it became mutually known that what happened wasn't enough.

Hotter. Faster. Deeper. Harder.

They wanted more, and more of each other. More and more and more, all over again, right here, and right now, in the dim light of their bedroom where they could only see the whites of their eyes and teeth and the highlight of each other's face. They shuffled and shifted against the blankets and throws of their bed, yearning for each other's warmth, breathing in the entirety of their lover, wanting another moment where they were thinking about no one else in the arms and grasp of one another. They’d stripped each other naked, hiding beneath the blanket as they’d lifted it over their bodies, and isolated themselves from the rest of the world. 

It seemed as though that odd, strange feeling of wanting to hold Levi wasn’t so odd or strange, because Levi felt it too.


	44. Spoiled Rotten

What happened last night in their bedroom would stay between them, like it always did.

It was Tuesday now, and though neither of them had any official classes, and Levi could spend all day at home, much to his demise, Erwin had things to do. He headed down to the auditorium an hour ago, having to battle Levi’s whining, whimpering, begging, and complaining, and he wouldn’t have escaped if he hadn’t promised he’d be back in three hours max. His coach sent the football groupchat a text message saying that he wanted to go over and watch a few clips and highlights of their last few games to get some insight into how everyone plays in preparation for their next game. 

But, again, Erwin left an hour ago, and Levi hated being alone, especially now. Typically he’d spend the day studying and preparing for an upcoming test or exam but, he was still in stage one, and being all alone, in their apartment, without Erwin’s chest or arms or hands anywhere in sight became more and more unbearable by the second. He wanted kisses, and attention, and for him to come back home already and the only reason he wasn’t blowing his phone up was because Erwin told him he was clingy before, but told him that he liked it, but he didn’t want Erwin to be right because he didn’t like it when Erwin was right.

He just missed him, and if him laying on his stomach with his face shoved into a pillow as he kicked his feet wasn’t a clear sign that he missed him, the series of mewls that left him certainly was.

It wasn’t fair for Erwin to leave him, not after what he did to him last night. He was supposed to mean the world to him, that’s what he always said and that’s what he always told him and Erwin never lied and so if that was true, he wouldn’t have left. He should be here, be in bed or on the couch watching anime and keeping him warm and asking him what he wanted to eat. Erwin said he loved him and Levi knew he loved him but that fact only made Levi roll over and flail his arms and legs in anger because if his boyfriend loved him, he’d be here, hugging him and kissing him and fucking him and making him feel like his boyfriend but he was twenty minutes away in another room full of bulky, giant men, and Levi couldn’t stand it.

An hour without Erwin was an hour too long.

He sat flipped himself over again and sat up, reaching for his cellphone and turning it on with the intent of sending Erwin a message, and as Erwin sat miles away in a dark room with a little over ten people in it, he stared ahead, at the projector screen, as he listened to his coach go on and on about the proper way to drive one’s hips in a tackle to make sure the opposite person is down, and stays there. Tackling someone was pretty cut and dry to Erwin. He saw someone on the field with the opposite color jersey as himself and if they were in the way, he moved them, simple, but now, as his right pocket vibrated, his attention was brought elsewhere.

He’d received a message from his favorite contact:  _ Snowflake _ .

He dimmed his brightness, making sure the action of him on his phone was hidden as he read what Levi had sent him with a smile.

“ _ Do you love me _ ?” Levi texted him, and Erwin’s thumbs never hesitated.

“ _ I do, a lot actually _ .”

“ _ Do you want me _ ?”

“ _ I want you all the time _ .”

“ _ Do you need me _ ?”

“ _ I always need you _ .”

" _Do you care about me_?"

" _You're one of the only people I care about_."

“ _ So why aren’t you telling me in person _ ?”

Erwin’s smile widened, and his grin never disappeared. He could never argue with Levi, mostly because eleven times out of ten, he was right. Plus, he had a good point. 

“ _ One more hour and then I’ll be home, promise _ .” Erwin sent.

“ _ Why can’t you be home now _ ?”

“‘ _ Cause I’m busy right now _ .”

“ _ Busy with what _ ?”

“ _ Football, you know I couldn’t miss this _ .”

“ _ And football is more important than me, right _ ?”

“ _ No, baby, I never said that _ .”

“ _ I know you didn’t, you implied it _ .”

“ _ Levi, you know that you’re the most important person to me _ .”

“ _ So important to where stupid football meetings are worth more than spending time with me? I must be really important then _ .”

In the middle of Erwin trying to type up a reply, his coach noticed that Erwin seemed to have been staring down and into his lap for a while now, and that could only mean one thing.

“Smith, that better not be a goddamn phone,” he warned, and that was all it took for Erwin to apologize, and slide his phone into his pocket.

Levi was in a mood, that much Erwin knew. He didn’t know what caused it or what brought it on but, he knew that texting him back may have fanned the flames a bit and so, given that he’d been reprimanded about his phone, he put it away without fighting. Levi was upset with him, for leaving him, mostly, but for making it feel like football was more important than him and as his phone buzzed and vibrated against his thigh constantly without pause, he knew Levi was infuriated, and if he wasn’t infuriated, he was crying, and as he raised his arm so that his coach would notice, he made up an excuse and fast.

“What now?” his coach snarled.

“My uncle, he’s in the hospital,” he lied, his mother was an only child just like he was, but as heads began to turn in his direction, he feigned a worried expression.

“Go,” his coach allowed without much of an explanation.

Erwin didn’t know if he knew he was lying or if he believed him but he didn’t stick around to find out. He got up, and jogged out of the auditorium, and left and it appeared as if Levi got what he wanted.

Because Erwin was on his way home.

* * *

Erwin drove home. He drove him and paced into his apartment complex and rode the elevator all the way up to their room and as he slid his keycard into the reader, swung the door open and stepped inside, the moment the turned around from locking the door behind him, Levi materialized somehow, and he’d jumped into his arms, and Erwin hadn't felt more bamboozled in his life. There was nothing wrong with Levi. He wasn’t crying, he wasn’t yelling, he didn’t seem angry or sad or upset because he was giggling as he hugged his arms around his neck, and swung his feet in nothing but happiness, it happened again, and Erwin never realized he’d been played until afterward.

Levi deceived him and was victorious in getting his Teddy Bear back home and all to himself. All he had to do was pretend that he was sad or frustrated or really, any emotion with a negative connotation, and Erwin floated to him within seconds, and it worked every time. He peppered Erwin’s face in kisses, sticking himself to his body and after realizing that he’d fallen for Levi’s trickery, and realizing that he couldn’t be mad at him, because it was his fault for being so gullible, all he did was look at him, without a smile, and without a laugh.

“I’m gonna make you cry,” he said, and as Levi’s giggles disappeared and his smile faded away, he stared at Erwin.

Erwin never liked it when he cried. He never liked it when he displayed any kind of emotion that meant he was hurting and so, the only way Erwin would  _ want  _ him to cry was if, he made him, in the bedroom, with that thing between his legs, and as Levi put the pieces together, he began to squirm and carry on the same way he had been when Erwin wasn’t home. He cried and he kicked and he punched and he said he was sorry and he begged Erwin to go back and argued that it wasn’t too late to go back but Erwin wasn’t budging, and now, Levi began to fear for his life.  He’d break him. He’d break him for sure, this time.  He’d tease him and torture him and stir him up inside as Erwin was never good at being angry at people but, Levi knew that what he was about to do to him was out of pure aggravation and though he wanted no part of it, he watched the light in their bedroom darken, the curtains on their windows close, and the knob on their door lock.

He wouldn’t be leaving their bedroom for another three hours, max.


	45. Sexual Tension

Graduation was near, and in the many months prior to today, Levi became a worldwide, androgynous, genderfluid supermodel, and Erwin had been drafted into the NFL way earlier than he’d imagined, and in that, much has happened.

There was never a day where Levi Ackerman wasn’t walking on a runway, featured on the front cover of Vogue, modeling in Paris, New York, or Venice and he’d become more than successful in his endeavors. He modeled for Cosmopolitan, Elle, Glamour, and Vanity Fair, and his growing popularity and always rising fame allowed him to take part in famous social events, walk on carpets, participate in interviews and talk shows and radio shows and even accept a few awards but most of all, there was never a photoshoot where Erwin wasn’t present.

He was always there; sitting behind the camera and professional photographer and taking his own photos with his phone, wolfing down all of the craft services in the back of the room, making goofy faces in an attempt to mess Levi up and make him laugh and mocking the photographer by copying their poses, mouthing their words, and honestly, Levi couldn’t have been happier, and neither could Erwin. In the following year, he’d be playing for the California Scouts. He met the owner of the team as well as a few players who’d also been drafted and he’d be off to boot camp around next summer, but now, Erwin had little to absolutely nothing to do, and so, he spent all of his time focusing on Levi, and he loved it.  He got to travel the world with him, try new foods with him, try new positions with him only for Levi to nag about it later. He was a model, and any hickey, love bite, or bruise would be a nuisance to cover up but, Erwin did it anyways. Every morning, Erwin got to ride in a limousine with Levi, he got to hold his hand as they walked past paparazzi, and into the building where his shoot was being held and then, after giving him a kiss, he watched as Levi was powered, and primped, and primed, and he finally understood why Levi was as famous as he was.

Levi looked like a woman.

He was a man and Erwin knew he was a man but somehow, seeing Levi in a dress, with a wig, with false eyelashes and red lipstick and a pair of high heels and a bullet bra as they dressed him in a ’90s, retro, pin-up, sort of look, Erwin fell in love with him all over again. They put him in corsets, fashioning him in renaissance look. They painted faux tattoos on his arms and legs and face, slicking his hair back into a perfectly styled mullet as he posed on a motorcycle and on some days, even though Erwin knew who his boyfriend was, studying him, and watching him, and staring at him as he worked turned him into Levi’s biggest fan, though he couldn’t help it, he wasn't at all ashamed of it. Erwin was always in the front row of Levi’s runway shows, and though Erwin saw him and was sure that Levi saw him too, Levi didn’t even bat an eye and it became known that Levi was a very intimating model who could do almost anything whether be surviving an eleven-hour shoot, walking in seven-inch platforms, or contorting into uncomfortable positions for the sake of a picture.

Levi Ackerman was  _ very _ , good at his job.

He was beautiful, and frankly, Erwin had never seen Levi in an outfit that he wouldn’t fuck him in. His walk was graceful yet, powerful. He kept everything professional, was always on time, was always willing to push his own limits, and as his fanbase grew, the more loved and admired he became but also, the more attention Erwin received as well.

Given Levi’s outward persona and the way he interacted with the public, it was hard to believe he was in a relationship with such a goofball. Then again, that goofball was a six-foot-tall hunk with a body that wouldn’t quit, and so, as time passed, their unlikely relationship became common knowledge. Erwin and Levi already knew they were total opposites but, the world was just now finding out and they were completely obsessed. Whenever they went out together, they were always spotted and recognized and mobbed and they still were but, it was then they both realized they never made it official. They’d made it official a long time ago, amongst themselves, but no one else knew. To the world, it was a rumor, some hot gossip, something everyone heard or saw and was waiting for one of them to come out and confirm and after a conversation, they decided that there wasn’t any danger in telling people about their relationship.

They wanted to get married and would be engaged soon, whenever Erwin proposed and so, today, for the first time, they’d be conducting an interview, together.

They’d both had their fair share of publicity but, neither of them had been sat down and questioned as a couple. They were always asked about their careers and how they could’ve done something better and how far they’d come but they’d never been asked questions about each other, with each other, but now, they had the chance to, and they couldn’t have been more elated. They’d matured in more ways than just one. Having fast-paced careers that disallowed them much needed time with one another, in addition to family and school, taught them many things, but, most of all, how to handle stress.  With the public watching and listening and invading their privacy within every second of every day, it became hard to manage each other’s emotions. Sometimes after a long day of training, Erwin just wanted to sleep, and sometimes after a long shoot, Levi just wanted to sleep, and then having to fight off cameras and people and microphones and flashes became more than just overwhelming but, throughout everything, Erwin never made it seem like loving Levi was a chore, and neither did Levi.

In the past five months, as impossible as it sounded, with some more talking, and loving, and kissing, their relationship strengthened. They settled on building their own house, their dream house, here in California, and it was already being constructed. They settled on hiring an assistant and inviting someone into their lives so that they didn’t have to rely on or stress each other out as much as they were. They settled on hiring a chauffeur whenever one of them needed to go someplace to reduce each other’s worries and overall, they settled on slowing their lives down a little, and perhaps, getting into certain things they previously didn’t have the time to as i ntimacy never stopped being important.  Although, having the entire world interested in their relationship, both Erwin and Levi were shocked to see just how many people were  _ invested _ , in them. Eruri, was their power couple name, and under that hashtag contained various posts of when they were getting married, how adorable their size different was, questions about their sex life, pieces of fan-art, statements on how hot they both were and that was the exact reason why they were both sat across from each other, in front of numerous cameras.

Levi was decked out in jewelry that Erwin had gifted him over the years; his diamond studs, his promise ring, two white gold bracelets, and an anklet. He wore a caramel cashmere sweater, tucking it into his black jeans so that his silver belt buckle showed, and finishing it with a pair of black booties, that, again, Erwin had gifted him. Levi’s hair had changed as well. It was still short, and he still parted it in the middle, but, compared to the blunt cut at the shoulders he used to have, he cut it a few inches shorter, about an inch lower from where his jaw was so that his hair floated above his shoulders. Rather than the straight cut, he had the ends bumped; curled in towards his face so that it framed his head and he’d done his makeup that morning too. His makeup consisting of lipgloss, the one that Erwin liked, blush, highlighter, mascara, eyebrow gel, and nothing more. Erwin, on the other hand, went for his usual all-black attire; black tee, black suit pants, black oxfords, and a black leather belt with a silver, luxury brand watch on his wrist, and it all made his eyes appear brighter, than normal.

They had microphones attached to both of them moments ago and they began around ten minutes ago. It was a couples quiz, and earlier they’d agreed on letting Levi ask Erwin any and all questions he’d like as they had been formulated on the cards that Levi now held, looked through, and straightened.  The only problem was that Levi knew what he’d be asking and what Erwin would be answering and he knew what kinds of questions Erwin didn’t like to answer or refused to answer and he knew how to torture his lovely boyfriend. After all, he had a fashion debut coming up, and Levi was currently abstaining from sex so that he could be his very best. He didn't want to be sore, and he didn't want to be jittery, and he didn't want any marks on his skin, however, that didn’t mean he couldn’t tease Erwin, and suddenly, Erwin began to regret giving Levi the amount of power he now possessed.

Levi cleared his throat, folding one leg over the other as he crossed them, and read the card before his eyes.

“Next question,” Levi said, “What is my favorite candy?” he asked, gazing up and over at Erwin.

“You have like three of ‘em, that’s not fair,” he said, as the quiz they had set up had a point system, and Erwin being as competitive as he was didn’t want to risk losing a single one.

“Name all three then.” Levi shrugged.

“Skittles is one,” Erwin put up a finger as Levi nodded, and smiled. “Starbursts,” he said, Levi’s smile growing even wider as he watched Erwin’s eyes float up to the ceiling for the last one, even though he knew Erwin knew it. “Sour Patch Kids?”

“I’ll give you three points for that one, ‘cause I love you,” Levi said, soon flipping to the next card as he listened to Erwin chuckle.

“What is my favorite nickname?” Levi questioned, looking over at Erwin, as he appeared to be physically buffering.

“Like, your favorite nickname that I call you?”

“Mm-hm,” Levi grinned.

“Kitten,” he answered, and Levi couldn’t help but smile as he rolled his eyes. He wanted to be upset, he really did, but it was hard to be mad at the man who knew every little thing about him, and it made his body warm.

He’d made his questions a bit too easy but, luckily, there were a few other questions he didn’t make, ones that were prompted by the platform they were doing this for.

“What is something that you do, that you  _ know _ , annoys me?” Levi asked, as now, he watched as Erwin sat up in his seat, and all Levi did was swing his leg, as he stared at him.

“I know I annoy you a lot but, I don’t do it on purpose, I don’t really know when I’m annoying you,”

“Yes you do,” Levi differed, making Erwin blink.

“I do something that annoys you and I  _ know _ , it annoys you?”

“Yes,” Levi nodded with a giggle, as it was fairly obvious to him.

“And I do it all the time?”

“Not all the time but, weekly, I think,”

“Is it the toilet paper thing?”

“No, but that does annoy me,” Levi said, as Erwin had a habit of replacing the toilet paper so that the toilet paper itself hung  _ under _ , not over, and it got on Levi’s nerves.

“It’s the laundry thing,” he said, as Levi always told him to separate his whites from everything else but, sometimes he was too lazy to do so.

“It’s when you smoke inside the house, stupid,” Levi teased him, taking Erwin aback.

“That doesn’t annoy you, what are you talking about?”

“How are you gonna tell me what annoys me?” Levi laughed.

“That annoys you?”

“Yes, Erwin. You fog up the whole house and not everyone wants to inhale that stuff at ten in the morning and I always tell you to smoke outside, on the balcony, and you never listen.”

“So, I’m not getting a point for that?”

“Why would you?” Levi smiled sweetly, as Erwin dragged a hand over his face in frustration and self-disappointment but, given his attitude, he wasn’t the type to give up, and he was determined to make up for the ground he lost.

“Okay okay, what’s next?” he asked, rubbing his legs eagerly as Levi went to the next card.

“What’s your name in my phone?”

“Teddy, easy,” he said, but Levi shook his head again.

“Not anymore,” Levi grinned.

“You changed it?” Erwin asked, his shock from being absolutely wrong after saying it so confidently making Levi’s amusement skyrocket as he laughed.

“I did, but you know it what it is, I know you do,”

“Are you trying to make me lose?” he questioned in all seriousness, and it made Levi snicker whilst he hid his mouth with the stack of cards in his hands briefly.

“It’s Erwy, isn’t it,” Erwin tried again, but Levi gestured that he was wrong once more.

“Keep guessing,” Levi said.

“Baby?”

“Think about the most recent time we exercised.” Levi hinted, and instantly, Erwin knew.

The term exercise was really code for sex, and they’d developed many codes since becoming A-Listers. They had a language that only they knew, and now, Erwin knew the answer.

“Daddy?” Erwin asked, and this time, Levi nodded.

Levi wasn’t fooling anyone, and he especially wasn’t fooling Erwin. It had been weeks since they last touched one another, and the insignificant mention of something Levi liked to call him in the bedroom alone caused Levi’s cheeks to become a light pink, and Erwin saw. He saw Levi uncross his legs as he went to the next card, watching him as he folded his opposite leg over. His thighs were pressed together in the small moment in between, and as Levi pushed a strand of hair behind his ears and looked over at him, Erwin decided that maybe he should try playing the game a different way, and fortunately for him, all the best questions were kept for last.

“What is my favorite thing to do when I have free time?” Levi asked, and now, Erwin sat himself back in his chair.

“Me,” he said simply, and he knew he wasn't wrong. 

All Levi did was smile as he switched the next card without comment, indicating that he was correct while Erwin looked over to the camera with a smirk, winking, before carrying his gaze back over to the man he’d devour in the next hour or so.

“What is my favorite feature on your body?” Levi asked, and again, Erwin identified it as a trick question.

Levi always said he loved his eyes, always said he adored his smile and could cuddle up in his arms for days but, Levi’s body told him that there was one part of him, or rather, one thing, that he favored more than anything else. Levi knew that he knew and Erwin knew that he knew and as they smiled at each other, he used another one of their code words.

“My second heart.”

And just like that, he watched Levi’s legs do that thing, again; uncross, press together, switch legs, fold the other leg on top of the leg that was previously on top and Erwin knew that he was not only correct but, Levi’s mind was thinking about something other, than the quiz, and was trying hard to take his mind off of it, but was struggling, and as Erwin grinned, he enjoyed watching his adorable little angel struggle.

“What about something that I really, really want?” 

Erwin couldn’t say anything too explicit, but at the same time, he didn’t want to lie. He knew what Levi wanted right now, in this very moment. He could tell from how much he was adjusting his hair, moving around in his seat, and taking deep breaths to calm him down further but, he wouldn’t dare bring up their personal, private life, in front of people he didn’t know and so, he settled to the next best thing.

“My last name.”


	46. Appetite

Their special, couples debut was over, and now, they were on their way home.

They sat in the back of their limousine, the soft sound of classical music meeting their ears along with the quiet, smooth sound of careful, steady driving. The sky had gone dark, and as they drove down and through the city, the various street lights shone into the limo and created shadows of their faces and outlines of their features. The windows of their limo were tinted, no one could see in and yet they could see out and the wall between them and the chauffeur insured their privacy. 

The ride back home thirty minutes away, but the tension in the air was so thick they could cut it.

They sat beside each other, Levi’s head on Erwin’s chest and Erwin’s arm around Levi’s shoulder and without a word, Levi’s hand slid over Erwin’s warm thigh, before gliding it upwards, towards his crotch. He let his fingertips dance over the bulge in Erwin’s pants before digging underneath them, and as he gave a gentle squeeze, he spoke.

“They’re heavier,” Levi said quietly, but loud enough for Erwin to hear, and he knew what Levi was up to.

Levi had a way of asking for sex without outwardly asking for such. He felt him up, told him naughty things, made faces and expressions and spoke in a tone Erwin couldn’t resist and on some days, like today, when he had time to lose before he’d get to make Levi forget his name, he played along.

“Did you expect them to be lighter?” Erwin asked, but, Levi shook his head as he moved his hand from between Erwin’s legs, and let it slither across his shirt, and against stomach, before landing on his chest.

“It’s true, then,” Levi whispered in his ear, creating ripples in Erwin’s conscience, “You still don't touch yourself even when I don't give you any, do you, Daddy?” he began, and Erwin’s heart never returned to its normal pace again.

Surely, given the kink that they currently used to spice up their sex life, Erwin would be the supposed dominant. He was taller, stronger, and overall, three times Levi's size. Levi called him Daddy, obeyed his commands, and so on and so forth, however, it was the opposite. Levi was a sly, and cunning incubus. No matter what Levi called him or did for him, what Erwin had was a false sense of power that Levi could easily get out of him with a whisper, a kiss, a flick of his tongue, a brush of his hand, and so, often times, which was all the time, their intimacy turned into both of them trying to gain control of one another, and this resulted in a delicious war for dominance that they both loved.

“You’d get jealous, wouldn’t you?” Erwin asked with a soft smile.

“Maybe,” Levi admitted, “Most likely,” he went on, “but, sometimes when you’re out for the day, I miss you so much to where I use my fingers..” he confessed, his breath growing hotter and hotter against the flesh of Erwin’s ear.

“Usually it’s one, but, sometimes I use two, and as I move them, I pretend it’s you; loving me, and holding me, and filling me with that big, thick, long—”

“Pick a number from one to ten.” Erwin interrupted.

It was random, unexpected, and honestly off-topic but, Levi did it anyways.

“Seven,” he said, seven was his lucky number, as it was most people’s.

“Keep that in mind.”

“Why?”

Erwin finally turned to look at him, and then, right then, Levi knew that he’d lost the war. With the way Erwin was looking at him, he felt as though he was being preyed upon, and he felt something in his body switch, and become submissive almost immediately.

“I’m going to make you cum. Seven times, tonight.” Erwin said, and Erwin was never one to lie or break his promises.

* * *

  
  


They didn’t lay a finger on one another until they were locked within their bedroom, and after that, everything was like clockwork. Their mouths never separated, not even for a minute. First, Erwin helped Levi remove his shirt while Levi dimmed the lights. After that, Levi could feel the hands that were on the sides of his body, drifting down to his hips, unbuckling his belt, yanking it off of him in one switft movement, and as Erwin's kisses traveled down to his neck, kissing him in one of the places he ached for his mouth to be, Levi sighed heavily. He hugged his arms around Erwin’s shoulders, feeling him mark him and bite him and though he wanted to be mad, it felt so, so good, and he didn’t want it to stop.

Erwin hid his face in his neck; etching, burning, and stamping kisses into his skin and as he inhaled the floral scent of Levi's body lotion, he let his hands fall even further, each of his palms gripping handfuls of Levi's bottom while he listened to Levi hum, and mewl. He felt Erwin’s hands tugging his pants down, his vision becoming more and more blurry as Erwin made his mind melt and in the midst of it all, he smiled. One of his hands laid on Erwin's shoulder and the other, the back of his neck. His eyes were somewhere between opened and closed, his cheeks a faint pink, and the temperature of his body rising as he lost himself in his addicting sensation of his boyfriend’s touch. He'd felt it many times before and yet it still managed to hold him captive. They'd slept together so much that it was impossible to count but still, Levi found himself unable to remember just how good Erwin was at mollifying his body, and making it so he could mold him however he wanted and suddenly, a wave of memories washed over him.

He remembered the time where Erwin fingered him in the middle of class, years ago, and had his way. He remembered when they went to visit his parents a few summers ago, and when Erwin went down on him with his mother standing right outside his bedroom door. He remembered how Erwin touched him, how he pleased him after every football game and practice, how they made love every Christmas, fucked Valentine's Day, tortured one another and forbade any sort of sexual intimacy that never lasted more than a few weeks just because it felt better in the end and how he awoke to Erwin between his legs, or on top of him and as he sighed in Erwin's ear, he licked his lips.

"Do you.. remember when we woke up, really late?" Levi asked quietly. "It was our freshman year, and I was worried that we’d be late and.." Levi's breath hitched, feeling Erwin fingers slipping off his underwear before taking them off, as now, while they surrounded his around his ankles. "..you lifted my shirt up, and you.." Levi swallowed a moan. "..sat me on your face and then.. put your tongue inside me before you—"

Erwin stopped all of his movements suddenly, and stared down at a naked Levi, who didn’t even know he was bare with the trance he was in. He’d lifted his head from Levi's neck. His eyes piercing into Levi's and it was enough to make Levi pay attention to him, as he twitched and throbbed.

"Would you rather spend tonight telling me bedtime stories, or should I continue, and put you to sleep?" he interjected.

It was more a threatening demand than it was a question, and in that moment, Levi found himself wanting a certain something deep inside of him, plunging into him, and violently. Erwin's voice made his knees weak and his stomach flutter and Levi could already feel the soreness in his hips from what Erwin was about to do to him, and he couldn't wait.

"I love you," said Levi, in a small voice with dreamy eyes as he adored the fact that what used to be his adorable, burly, Teddy Bear now transformed into the man who would undoubtedly rearrange his organs, ruin him, force him to forget the day he was born and make a complete and utter mess of him. And even more than that, he was only man in the world who knew how Erwin behaved when he was in the bedroom, and how he looked when he was naked, and how beautiful his facial expression was whenever he came, and sometimes, whenever Levi had his mouth on him, Erwin did swear, and that alone was a rare feat.

Erwin smiled at him nonetheless, soon leaning closer and whispering a phrase of a set of directions that was somehow more powerful than an ‘I love you’, and Levi could never disobey him.

"Turn around, bend over, and spread your legs," said Erwin.


	47. After The Storm

“How’d you sleep?” was the first thing Erwin asked all morning as they stared at one another in their nakedness. They basked in the sunlight, swam in their bedsheets, locked themselves in their bedroom while they rekindled that young, foolish, yet precious love that continuously matured into something more beautiful.

Levi laid on top of Erwin’s body, now pulling away from Erwin's lips as he breathed softly. He felt those big hands of his slide up, and hold his hips, and as he opened his eyes, he looked into the bright ones that stared right back at him. He stared deep into the blue honey that pooled in Erwin's eyes as he settled his hands on Erwin’s chest, all while he gazed down at his face.

“Like a baby,” Levi smiled, watching Erwin as he grinned.

“Worth the wait?” Erwin asked him, earning a few nods as Levi held the sides of Erwin’s face and stole another kiss from his lips.

Erwin Smith was a man who was true to his word. Although Levi lost more and more of himself in Erwin’s erotic mesmerism as last night went on, he knew that whatever Erwin had done to him, it felt amazing, and he didn’t regret any of the bruises. Soon enough, Levi separated their mouths once more in favor of just, looking at him, and that’s all he did.  Somehow, the rush of memories that he’d experienced the night before evoked something else, inside of him, something he couldn’t quite describe. He remembered how Erwin used to look in middle school, the pimples, the braces, and then, almost with a push of a button, as they began high school, every aspect of him was in high resolution. He remembered how he used to look with a clean shave, and compared it to how he looked right now, with a little bit of scruff, and then, he imagined how he'd look in a few years, with some forehead wrinkles, maybe a pair of crow's feet, and some glasses.

He’d been staring at him for a while, now, and as he caressed Erwin’s face, Erwin looked up at him as he held his sides and again, it was like he knew exactly what Levi was about to say before he said it.

“When are we getting married, Erwin?” Levi asked softly, and this time, Erwin didn’t need to pick apart the tone in his voice or the expression he wore to know that he’d kept Levi waiting too long, and that was never his intention.

There was nothing stopping him. He wanted to marry Levi, and everyone on the planet knew he wanted to marry Levi. He had his parent’s blessing, his mother’s support, a few of his good friends backing him up and even then he knew that Levi wouldn’t say no to him but, somehow, it was still daunting. He never stopped loving Levi, and he was certain that no matter what happened, he would never stop. He wanted Levi in his life, and he didn’t want him anywhere else. He wasn’t nervous or anxious or afraid of stumbling over his words but, what was holding him back was that Erwin didn’t necessarily have a coach, and throughout Erwin’s entire life, he’s always had a coach.

His mother coached him continuously on all topics, his friends coached him in partying, and sportsmanship, his teachers coached him in school and his own education and Levi coached him in love and respect and his football coach kept him in the game, but, Erwin never had a coach to teach him about marriage, or what it was like being a husband. Erwin never had a father and so, he didn’t know what being a husband meant or what a healthy married couple looked like and though Erwin had mastered the art of winging just about everything, he didn’t feel comfortable improvising his relationship with Levi. He didn’t have anyone to go to. His mother was never married and none of his friends were married and he didn’t feel like going to the parents of his soon-to-be-husband for advice on how to be a husband was a good idea and so, for the first time in all of his life, he’d be doing something on his own, and that was just as scary as it was exciting.

He looked back and forth between Levi’s eyes, hooking his arms around him with a deep breath before he answered.

“Soon,” said Erwin.

“You said soon two months ago..” Levi mumbled, and Erwin listened.

“Soon,” he said again, in a lower voice. “I mean it this time.” 

Erwin couldn’t explain the glimmer he saw in Levi’s eyes, simply because he didn’t know if Levi believed him or not but, what he did know was that he had to make it up to him. Erwin knew that every day and week and month that he postponed marrying Levi after promising that he would and hinting that he would over and over and over again, it made Levi feel a certain way, a not-so-good type of way, and he  _ never _ , wanted that.

Without another word, Erwin rolled over and trapped Levi within his hold.

Just then, Erwin was struck with a feeling he couldn’t put into words and Erwin was never good with words to begin with. He always needed Levi’s help, needed Levi to read it out for him, needed Levi to spell it and guess the word that was on the tip of his tongue, and though he couldn’t describe what he was feeling now, he knew that he didn’t want to hurt Levi for his own selfish reasons. He knew he didn’t have anyone to go to for this type of thing but at the same time, he was his own person. He was a full-grown adult and he should be able to do things on his own and even if he did mess up, which he would, because he’s himself, he’d fix it the same way.  Levi had always been impatient, and he didn’t want to make Levi wait anymore to make it seem like he was avoiding something concerning him when really he’d been avoiding and doubting himself this whole time and so, as he kissed and licked his way down Levi’s body, Levi all but watched him.

Erwin's hands roamed his body freely, and Levi could feel the warmth of his hands, starting at his ribs, drifting down his sides, brushing over his waist, and past his hips before giving his thighs a squeeze and it was enough to make Levi hum. He felt his hands stop at his lower half, shifting his body the way he wanted it and as Levi gnawed on his bottom lip, he watched as Erwin spread his legs with a quiet exhale. He eased into the mattress, letting Erwin's heated touch soothe him into the comfort of their bedroom and as his kisses spread to the space between his thighs, he made a noise. His legs began to twitch and quiver and as Erwin gazed up at Levi, he'd slowed his movements down even more only to remember that  Levi was sensitive. He'd had his way with him hours ago and his body hadn't yet recuperated but even though Erwin slowed, he didn't come to a full stop.

He ran his hands down Levi's outer thighs, caressing them, rubbing them as he situated himself between Levi's legs and he never once looked away from him. He watched his head flip this way and that. He felt his hips moving and rolling and as he laid several kisses onto the part of Levi he'd recently pleasured, Levi moaned. Levi's fingers began to lose themselves within the blankets and throws of their bed and Erwin watched as Levi unraveled. He traced circles around his entrance with his tongue, simultaneously calming his now trembling thighs with his hands as Levi's body became overwhelmed with heat and overstimulation.

Levi couldn't open his eyes nor could he close his mouth. He couldn't lie still. He couldn't control his noises. He couldn't control the faces he made nor could he close his legs but as Erwin pushed his tongue inside of him, he moaned, and his body curved in full exclamation. His back became an arch and curved off the bed but his hips and head stood where they were. His toes pointed and curled and pointed again, his fingers flexed and un-flexed and then grabbed at the sheets again, his breath was uneven, his body was shaking as he became overpowered with tremors while Erwin re-awoke the nerves he'd abused earlier.

"Er—win!" Levi gasped between moans as Erwin's tongue pushed deeper, making Levi whine as his calves and thighs tensed, as it was too much for him already.

Erwin knew. He knew Levi's body had always been fragile but now, he needed to be tender. Erwin moved his hands from Levi's thighs, reaching out to each of Levi's hands as he removed Levi’s nails from the bedsheets in favor of holding his fingers in his palms. He ran his thumbs over Levi's knuckles, reminding him without the need of a word that he loved him, and that he'd be slow, and that he'd be careful and treat his body with adoration as he always did.

And Levi sighed at that.

Erwin maneuvered his tongue around Levi's ribbed and fluttering walls and he did so with care. He brushed up against the nerves that Levi loved, watching as his body relaxed and laid back down onto the bed before pushing and pulling his tongue in, and out. He watched as Levi softened, once more. A quiet moan leaving him while his tongue passed over his lips and now, his body grew warmer and with that, wetter. Erwin found Levi's thighs opening rather than pressing up against his cheeks. Levi laced his fingers between each of Erwin's, his moans gradually and steadily becoming louder and pouring past of his mouth every second as he rolled his hips against Erwin's mouth in that of a wave.

Levi loved this feeling.

He loved depth. He loved knowing that the pleasure his body was being afflicted with came from Erwin's heart and with that, his body surrendered to it. He loved how animalistic it was. He loved the sweat, the crude noises, the raw and instinctive way that Erwin thrust his hips into him and the more he thought about it, the more he wanted it.

It was intimacy that Levi loved, and today, Erwin learned that.

The stifled moan coming from Levi's mouth as he bit his lip was a tell-tale sign that Levi wanted more, and Erwin didn’t make Levi wait another second. He loosened his jaw, pulling his tongue out of Levi as he listened to him sigh before sitting up, and pressing kisses onto the hands that held onto his before letting go of them, and towering over him as he laid between his arms and legs.

This time, Levi’s head was somewhat aware of what was happening.

He could feel Erwin’s mouth on his own, and his tongue knotting itself with his. He could feel Erwin’s hands directing his legs to his torso before leaving them there. He could feel Erwin’s biceps brushing against his calves and shinbones and as Levi’s hands snuck beneath Erwin, hooking themselves underneath his arms while his hands latched onto his back, he moaned at the feeling of Erwin entering him, and he could feel the heavy breath that Erwin puffed out as he did so. He  buried his nails into his skin, feeling as if he was on the verge of climax with every second Erwin laid inside of him but then, as Erwin lowered his body, ridding of any and all space between them, he put more of his weight on top of Levi, and it was then when Levi’s mind began to falter.

Erwin’s hips circled.

Not pulling away, not thrusting forward, not or any movement that would push Levi over the edge, but a slow, circular, idyllic movement that allowed Levi to feel, and feel everything, and bask in how good it felt, and how warm he was, and his deep his cock sunk, and as Erwin pulled his mouth off of him, he felt Levi’s fingertips press into his skin as he moaned with closed eyes. Erwin didn’t plan on moving from his pace. Levi pulled him closer, tying his limbs around his body and trapping Erwin in his embrace, and as Erwin listened to every moan that Levi let out, as he preferred these quiet, light sounds over his cries, and yells, and screams.

Erwin always spoiled Levi, though he wouldn’t consider this spoiling.

This was loving, and passionately so.


End file.
